Teenage safety

[Dr_Obbins]

Like I used to tell my wife when our kids were teens. You will always find many "gloom & doom stories" if you search for them, but those stories are the minority. You will be hard pressed to find "my kid did this and nothing bad happened" stories. Bad stories are printed many times more than good stories and uneventful stories aren't told at all. No headlines "My kid went out and had fun with his friends and came home safely". Lay down some basic rules and if they are good kids everything will probably be OK, or keep them locked in a padded room and they will never get hurt.

Edited November 6, 2013 by Dr_Obbins

[shelly11]

My teen is an only child so the 2 times we've taken her she has brought a friend. The weren't too crazy about the teen club either. They found games to play or went with us to shows. As long as they checked in on occasion I was not worried. We also got walkie talkies for them to use on the ship.

[CactusFlower527]

I completely understand your worries. I have two daughters and although one is now 19 and the other 22, I still worry and guess I will for the rest of my life.

 

.

 

Okay - now I don't feel so DUMB. I was going to mention that I have a son who's almost 23 and when he goes to Alaska with us in 2015/16 - yes he will be 24/25 by then, but I may still worry about him off by himself. No matter their age, they are still your kid! ;-)

[paulgraff]

Both our boys, ages 15 and 13, have been in Karate for over 8 years, both are 3rd degree black belts and can they fight if they have to so we don't worry about them to much on a ship.

[Overdue4cruise]

We had a talk with our children the other day about the rules, and it doesn't seem to bother them at all that they have to observe all these rules onboard. They are aware that it's for their safety. I feel so much better after the talk, but will have to go through these rules again with them right before the cruise.

 

Happy sailing everyone!

[sdmike]

Excellent post by "Song and Dance". It echos what I said:

 

Give them some freedom

Give them some strict rules to guide them

Create a way to communicate

 

I'd also add:

 

Give them a budget.

 

I gave my kids a $10 per day budget. My daughter saved hers up and bought something nice at the end of the trip. My sons spent it on video games and soda. Yes, at 12yo she's the mature one. ;)

Edited November 6, 2013 by sdmike

[katie5611]

A few years ago when I was 16, my friend (15) and I got our own cabin on the NCL cruise we took with my parents. They gave us some freedom and we gave them no reason not to trust us. We didn't stay out all hours of the night and stayed together at all times. We tried walkie talkies to keep in touch with my parents but ours didn't work very well on the ship. On sea days, we somehow always ran into my parents and had set dinner plans for each day. We planned our days in Bermuda as a group and stayed together on the island.

 

As two teenage girls, we never felt unsafe or in danger on the ship. We just stuck together and mostly kept to ourselves and no one bothered us, even just sitting by the pool late at night or walking around outside, where there were few to no other people.

 

At the end of the day, it is totally up to you as to how much freedom you want your kids to have. I just wanted to share my experience from a few years ago.

[Medtech2]

There was another thread on here where a person was inquiring about different devices that may be available on the market,like a texting device. Boy did that thread get nasty. People throwing their opinions around that there was no reason to have electronic devices and that they were annoying to others. My belief is that each person pays their own fare on the ship and if it makes my DW and I more comfortable to have our children carry a walkie talkie then that should be our prerogative. Last I checked this is a public cruise ship, not a library.

Weird. Why would it bother anyone if you are using a walkie-talkie, as long as you are not shouting or using it during a show. Same etiquette as a cell phone, IMO.

 

The only thing that would be annoying would be if someone else is using the same channel and butt into your conversation or try to badger you on your walkie-talkie. That is what happened to us. Some kid kept screaming on the channel every time we were using it. We gave up....

[kylenyc]

I completely understand your worries. I have two daughters and although one is now 19 and the other 22, I still worry and guess I will for the rest of my life.

 

I think the main thing is knowing where they are at all times. Never be out on deck late, especially if not many people are around. Never trust anyone including staff since there have been rapes by crew members. And never never go to anyone else's cabin, even if they met them on day 1 and are invited to go on day 6. Stay together at all times (buddy system). If someone makes them feel uncomfortable, trust your gut feeling and leave.

 

Like another poster wrote, just because others have not had a problem doesn't mean there never will be one.

 

Breath. Be prudent not paranoid.

 

Nearly 1/2 MILLION passengers carried by NCL in the past 3 months, total of 2 alleged rapes/sexual assaults both by passengers (0 in all other crime categories). In addition, statistically speaking, children are 4 times more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone they know in their own familiar environment (home, school) than by a stranger.

 

NCL crime statistics:

http://www.ncl.com/sites/default/files/Norwegian%20Cruise%20Line%20Allegation%20Statistics%20July%201%20-%20September%2030,%202013_103013.pdf

Edited November 6, 2013 by kylenyc

[SpicyI]

I was very skeptical about letting my boys come and go when we first started cruising. I set strict rules and then took someones advice and forced them to at least goto the teens club the first couple days so they could meet others. It IS more of a hang out, but the kids become fast friends and by day 2 are making plans to hang out together and have a bigger buddy network to safely explore the ship. Use this as an incentive for your teen(s) to attend teen club. My boys now look forward to meeting kids in the teen club for that reason.

 

I admit I rented ship phones on our 1st cruise (on RCI Oasis of the Seas) that allowed me to use a phone locator feature to see exactly where the kids were at all times - mainly because of the sheer size of that ship. But on cruise #2 we started the sticky note method because we were on a smaller ship and we didn't have phones. I agree 100% with sdmike's post and operate with those same 7 rules and really stress the buddy system regardless of age. I too found that if they're following the "public areas only rule" there are only so many places they could be and I run into my kids more than I'm sure they like. I'll just elaborate on our personal use of communication/check-in & sticky notes for more ideas on how to use them for your family. Those that have done this before with teens might think "duh"...but those who haven't might see something that sparks and idea for them.

 

1) Each morning at breakfast we go thru the activity guides and discuss everyone's plans for the day. Based on that, we set our next face to face check in time. We also always eat lunch and dinner together for family time, but they also serve as check-ins and we can discuss any further plans that have developed. For example, after hearing their plans at lunch, I might tell them to meet me at the room in 2 hrs or after the basketball tournament they want to go to. If their plans change they need to check in before that with sticky notes so I know where they are instead. Check in time is mandatory. Period. If I have to wait for you, or worse - come looking for you - all freedom is cut off and then the only places you can be are in the teen club or in the room. I don't play around when it comes these rules and they know it. We bought inexpensive watches for them to wear ahead of time so there were no excuses.

 

2) We use the room as home base and use the sticky note on the mirror system. It lets me know they were there and where they are off to next (in between face to face check-ins.) Often they went to the teen club 1st to see what people were up to and didn't quite know where they were going to go or maybe that basketball tourney was boring and they decided to leave. They can come back and check in with a sticky note reporting that they were heading to rock climbing or that they'd be on the pool deck for example. I also leave notes for them letting them know where they can find me & what time I'd likely be back to the room if they come back and I'm not there. 1 rule - all our stickies must include a time. I was pleasantly surprised how well this worked. They would stop by the room multiple times and if I wasn't there, leave me notes of where they were headed next and they'd put a check mark on my note letting me know they saw it. Sometimes they'd come find me to say hi based on my note. Sometimes they'd wait in the cabin to see me since they could tell when I'd be back based on my note. Last cruise only one of my boys went so he was flying solo and it really clicked with him. He made his buddy system a small group of friends he made on the 1st day and even put at least one full name of a fellow teen he was with on his notes. The boys say they really like the sticky note system because it shows them that I am willing to follow the same rules and let them know where I am at all times too. They also just like knowing they could find me too if they wanted which made them understand why I liked it! Peace of mind for us all. Added bonus - the sticky notes give you a time stamped bread crumb trail to follow should you actually need to track them down for some reason heaven forbid.

 

That's my long 2 cents. Many people use the note system as people have said here. I learned I needed to tweak it for our level of comfort. And a pad of sticky notes and a sharpie are easy to pack! Maybe you can try out the 1st couple days and see how it goes. I tend to be a tight reigns kind of person in general, but have found that this is a very comfortable method for us if we're on a ship without phones. This December will be our first time on NCL, but I know my kids are well versed on our little system now and can follow it well on any ship we sail on.

 

I hope you all enjoy your upcoming cruises! :-)

 

Thank you for the very detailed post. This will be our 3rd cruise but our first letting the girls roam around so the little details are great to put my mind at ease.

 

I'm seeing some very good ideas from most everyone so Thank You! I'm feeling much better about the whole thing!

[luddite]

Weird. Why would it bother anyone if you are using a walkie-talkie, as long as you are not shouting or using it during a show. Same etiquette as a cell phone, IMO.

 

quote]

 

Because that pretty much doesn't happen.

[kimkencruzers]

I agree with a lot of the posters here..so I won't reiterate all the good points about safety.

 

I know this is a little off-topic. My 15 year old is extremely shy and we couldn't even make him go to the first few nights of the teen club, so he hung out with us the whole time (loved it!).

 

My daughter is 13 and much more outgoing. She was gone all the time, with check-ins and notes. I only basically saw her for a few minutes here and there and for dinner (I put my foot down about dinner) because she would beg me to do everything (shows, ice skating, etc) with all the friends she made on the ship. After the cruise was over, I thought about it and decided that I am not going to let that much "friend-time" happen again. I paid a small fortune for us to bond as a family and get away from our busy technology-coma lives and I was pretty sad that I never saw her.

 

Usually something magical happens to my family when we travel and they don't have friends or phones. The kids get along with each other, we talk and laugh and play games and experience new places and cultures as a family and that's what I want for our vacation.

[SpicyI]

I agree with a lot of the posters here..so I won't reiterate all the good points about safety.

 

I know this is a little off-topic. My 15 year old is extremely shy and we couldn't even make him go to the first few nights of the teen club, so he hung out with us the whole time (loved it!).

 

My daughter is 13 and much more outgoing. She was gone all the time, with check-ins and notes. I only basically saw her for a few minutes here and there and for dinner (I put my foot down about dinner) because she would beg me to do everything (shows, ice skating, etc) with all the friends she made on the ship. After the cruise was over, I thought about it and decided that I am not going to let that much "friend-time" happen again. I paid a small fortune for us to bond as a family and get away from our busy technology-coma lives and I was pretty sad that I never saw her.

 

Usually something magical happens to my family when we travel and they don't have friends or phones. The kids get along with each other, we talk and laugh and play games and experience new places and cultures as a family and that's what I want for our vacation.

 

I completely agree! The thing with this trip is that we are a group of about 30 with only 5 of them being kids. Most of the adults will be hanging out together (I imagine) and the kids are going to be bored with us. No way would I want to "tie" them to our sides. Luckily we have plenty of family time at home so this will be more of a "learn to let go" trip for me.....

[mpk218]

We have been sailing with our 2 girls since they were very young , now 14/16 .

For us the concern is more about when than where . We stick to the same rules mentioned above as far as no going into other staterooms , stick to public area's, the standard stuff . The thing is you have to know your kids .

Are they mature enough not to get into those "wrong" situations ? Do they prove themselves worthy of the freedom ? Only time and actions will tell .

I was so proud of my 14 yr old a few cruises ago . She came back to the suite way early . I asked what the deal was . She told me a few of the "kids"

had gone back to one of the staterooms and were sampling Mom and Dads Bar set up ( who were apparently at the bars). She knew better and thats why I trust her (that and the many other reasons ). The one thing I dont allow is the wondering around after Midnight , its way to quiet and thats when the drunk idiots hatch ..

 

A little rope at a time , they have to learn eventually ;)

[Tiggertastic]

Just like Suzequ, we had ship rules and if they were not followed it meant hanging out with us!

 

No getting off the ship without us - easy as you can have the card marked at guest relations so it beeps and security won't let them off

 

Must have dinner with us each evening - as to remember who they actually came away with

 

rules about drinking, not just not what to but make sure they did drink fluids during the day

 

Not to put anything on their plate they were not going to eat

 

We'd set the evening - time for coming in as we had dinner, dependent on the itinerary - were they going to the show, teen club or hanging

 

How to get hold of us etc

 

Only ever had an issue once when we had to go looking for them when they didn't come in on time and they never did it again - especially after having to do what I wanted all day

[rhinomike]

I told my 4 boys when they were 16 they could go off own their own. But not at night and they had to check in. They are now 13, 16, 17 and 18. My oldest went off to a teen club a few times when he brought a friend. But other than that they stay with us. They like hanging out with us. We are fun parents. We are a close family. So glad they choose to spend time with us.

[CruiseAddict1982]

There are reports online (if you google it) about various sexual assaults by other passengers and even crew members. I trust my kids but I don't neccessarily trust that all strangers are not out to harm kids.

 

Sorry if that sounds harsh......

 

I'm with you! I have 2 boys, but if I had 2 girls there's no way in hell I would let them go off on they're on. If you want peace of mind, watch them and keep them with you.

[Kristinemomof3]

We just got off the Epic a week ago, our kids mainly stayed together the whole time. The two older did go to Entourage and signed up, but never really went there. They were content hanging at the pool and doing quite a bit of stuff with us. The rule was, they had to stay together to go to the cabin. I think I had more trouble than they did, I got hit on in an elevator, asking if I wanted to come to deck 6 and hang out. It was slightly creepy.