Separation Anxiety? Anyone?

[Blk_Amish]

:)

I have 8 children ages 21 down to 7. We left them alone and went on a cruise for the first time when the oldest were 17 and 18. They were completely capable to run the house while we were gone, but I still had the normal, natural feelings of concern that a mom would have about her kids. We did the same when they were 20 and 19 and had much less worry because we had done it before. By that time they were coming home from college to help with their siblings for the week. I did NOT miss my children while I was gone an neither did my husband. We spend LOTS and LOTS of time together because we home educate as well as do alot of volunteer work together. After all the practical concerns were taken care of, we didn't have anything to worry about. We kept in touch ( both times) via the free page at Carnival's website. We saved texts for emergencies and never made a phone call. Our children had a wonderfully fun time while we were gone and talk about it often. We are cruising with all 8 of them in a couple of weeks and look fwd to a great time :)

 

My college kids travel for chorale and other things and my high schoolers have traveled completely alone to attend special functions with Civil Air Patrol. Sending your 16yo on a cross country flight alone to a place you have never seen is much harder than leaving them in my sleepy town amongst friends while you cruise

Equip your daughter with what she needs and then go and enjoy your trip

 

I thought I was the only one who would ever own that. I was almost called a bad parent for posting it's great to have time alone with your spouse. Our situation is a tad different because within 4 years of marriage I had 2 open heart surgeries (age 31) because the first failed, 2 kids (31 and 34), and my DH prostate cancer (age 36). We take a week out to celebrate our anniversary, 20th next, but the rest of our life seems to revolve around them. We take family vacations with a fair share of whining sometimes and have dinner nightly. The other day I drove an hour and a half to visit my son (18) on campus and took him and his girlfriend out to lunch. I love my kids dearly. The second might be the only child born to a patient with double open heart surgeries. The surgeon said it was OK to conceive but never told me no one else had done it. The time alone with my DH is as needed and precious as the time devoted to them. My dear MIL will move into our home for the time we are gone or they stay with my SIL.

 

The last few years my daughter attended a Christian summer camp. I limit certain activates so we don't spend our lives running around like chickens with our heads cut off. They choose A sport and we work with it. They are bright but not overly athletic so its done for balance. We do community service and voluntarily host foreign students most summers. So far we have shared out home with 20 students from 8 different countries. The last 2 years I worked in a solo trip to Jamaica, need time by myself as well. DH had the house by himself and a keg with his favorite beer. For the purpose of this post I will say we missed each other:D

Edited December 19, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Warm Breezes]

I'm feeling very anxious over leaving our daughter behind. She is 19 for crying out loud! But we have always cruised together and the hubbs and I are having our 20th wedding anniversary cruise. She is old enough I know. Our church family will keep an eye on her. We will buy the internet package to facetime or skype with her daily. Even so, the mama in me is really feeling it. Has anyone gone thru this? Am I the only one? :( We leave on the Magic on Jan 19th.

 

Just did it in October. Left DD(16) and DS(19) home alone for the first time as we went on our 25th anniversary cruise (our 11th cruise, 1st without kids). I purchased the 90 minute internet package recieving 30 minutes free. We connected briefly each night through facebook messaging. While I missed them, we had a great time and it was nice reconnecting with DH again. Looking to do an adult only trip to Vegas this spring. While we have done these trips before, the kids always stayed with family or friends....no need to do this anymore.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Warm Breezes

[Athankfulheart]

Well if you are a bad parent, then I am in big trouble. We have left our kids 4 times in the past 5 or 6 years for cruises. Twice with caregivers and twice with just the kids. They were old enough and most capable to do so. Besides cruising, we do short trips almost every year. We don't go far because we don't want to spend a ton of money. We date often and make the most of our time together. Our children lead secure and peaceful lives, due in part to the attention that we give our marriage relationship.

 

My marriage is the second most important relationship in my life and its health matters to my entire family as well as many people around me. Don't you ever let anyone make you feel guilty for nurturing yours :)

[Athankfulheart]

Ps. I'm with you on limiting the activities. In our family, we have always tended to gravitate towards 2 things. One is very demanding of our time but everyone is involved. The other is not and only one is involved. We do a lot of community theater. The nice thing about that is there is something for every member of my family to do/learn/enjoy. We've done everything from directing to stage, tech, guest services, set building etc etc... and the younger kids are never made to feel "in the way". Its a pretty unique place where they learn a lot and keeps me from driving the taxi of doom and having an insane schedule.

[Blk_Amish]

Our marriage is the foundation of our family. Keeping our family strong by keeping it strong. My kids are not the love of my life (my DH) or the center of my universe( God). Heck, they aren't even my entire world but a very nice and important part of it, because eventually they will choose our nursing home. When my son moved onto campus, my first thought was, that's going to cost, followed by one down, one to go. I was so proud of the young man leaving home. I might be eating crow when I have to take my baby girl (15) on campus, so I have a recovery vacation planned. We don't have to tell them we are not home, oh dear:)

 

Travel is a big part of our lives, not to bond but to experience different things and places. We bond better at home or taking my kids to to trampoline world to play. Sometimes we throw in a pedicure after a long hike.

Edited December 22, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Athankfulheart]

Our marriage is the foundation of our family. Keeping our family strong by keeping it strong. My kids are not the love of my life (my DH) or the center of my universe( God). Heck, they aren't even my entire world but a very nice and important part of it, because eventually they will choose our nursing home. When my son moved onto campus, my first thought was, that's going to cost, followed by one down, one to go. I was so proud of the young man leaving home. I might be eating crow when I have to take my baby girl (15) on campus, so I have a recovery vacation planned. We don't have to tell them we are not home, oh dear:)

 

Travel is a big part of our lives, not to bond but to experience different things and places. We bond better at home or taking my kids to to trampoline world to play. Sometimes we throw in a pedicure after a long hike.

 

 

My youngest is 11 years away from college and everyone tells me " wait until your baby leaves" I don't know.... I'm kinda lookin forward to being "home free" LOL. I love my kids dearly.... and I agree with every word you wrote above ;)

[Blk_Amish]

My youngest is 11 years away from college and everyone tells me " wait until your baby leaves" I don't know.... I'm kinda lookin forward to being "home free" LOL. I love my kids dearly.... and I agree with every word you wrote above ;)

 

I appreciate your post since I was always curious of those who cherish these times away from their kids. I understand with crazy schedules vacation is the only time some families have, while this time is the only time I have away. I work in my kids school district so I am off during their break. DH gets one Thursday per month off. I am not sure why (furlough) but he seems happy so he takes our DD out to breakfast on those days. I take them out to lunch on days I work on their campus and always eat dinner as a family.

 

19 and home would be like 16 and pregnant, there would not be enough tears left to express my sorrow. I want to be 'home free' or home alone with my beloved.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Athankfulheart]

I appreciate your post since I was always curious of those who cherish these times away from their kids. I understand with crazy schedules vacation is the only time some families have, while this time is the only time I have away. I work in my kids school district so I am off during their break. DH gets one Thursday per month off. I am not sure why (furlough) but he seems happy so he takes our DD out to breakfast on those days. I take them out to lunch on days I work on their campus and always eat dinner as a family.

 

19 and home would be like 16 and pregnant, there would not be enough tears left to express my sorrow. I want to be 'home free' or home alone with my beloved.

 

Like I said, We spend ALOT of time together as a family. Most of it is myself and my children because my husband works. After work and on weekends we are always all together because so much of our extra curric activities are family based. We have to be purposeful about our ( mine/Dh) time together. The goal is to raise healthy, productive adults who love the Lord and still be the best of friends when we get the last one out of the house :D So far, so good.

Edited December 23, 2013 by Athankfulheart

[NotTheBatesMotel]

My parents cruised when I was 16 and my sister was 22. We were completely fine. My mom said the first day was tough but after that she had a blast! Try to enjoy your trip! :)