Teenagers

[Fivehole]

I had to giggle b/c I tell my son "I will shut your world down!" too! :D

 

Yep, we are very adamant about the stateroom rule. The other thing I forgot to add earlier, I tell my son if you put your drink down and leave it unattended, just get a new one. Especially in the teen dance club, where its dark.

 

Excellent advice Vanessa - I tell my kids the same thing (particularly my 18 yo daughter). It really is a crazy world we live in...

[LrgPizza]

Good for you. I would never allow a young child or a young teen to roam unattended either.

Has anyone here been talking about a young child? That would be a different thread.

[Poohsmommi]

Has anyone here been talking about a young child? That would be a different thread.

 

I said young child OR young teen. Has the age even been mentioned here??

[Poohsmommi]

I'd worry more about the freakazoids on the ship than my teen misbehaving. But that is just me. I don't trust anyone when it comes to my kids.

 

Back in the day ....in 1989 when I was 17, I went on my first cruise with 2 girlfriends who were 18. No parents. I know you can't do that anymore and I look back at how crazy it could have been and some of the nuts we met along the way but we always stuck together.......just like we would have when we went out in normal life, not just cruise life : ) We had no desire to slide down railings, drink ourselves to death, jump off our balcony <-----Wait! There was no balconies on that ship back then : ) BUT there was definitely shady people.....and there will always be shady people so that is where my main concern would lie.

 

 

People have a false sense of security when on a cruise (or any vacation, really). They fail to realize they are traveling with strangers totaling the numbers you would find in a small city. I'm not sure the age of the OP's teenager we are talking about here, but I do agree with you.

Edited February 20, 2014 by Poohsmommi

[LrgPizza]

People have a false sense of security when on a cruise (or any vacation, really). They fail to realize they are traveling with strangers totaling the numbers you would find in a small city. I'm not sure the age of the OP's teenager we are talking about here, but I do agree with you.

Absolutely. Therefore I'd give my teen about the same (or slightly less) freedom than I would in a small city, where that teen drives himself to work, and locks up the restaurant alone, and walks several blocks to school, and goes to the movie with friends, or walks to a buddy's house, or whatever, and makes it home by curfew, while checking in along the way. I can't fathom anyone who keeps a teenager completely joined at their hip for an entire cruise. That simply boggles my mind. If I were that kid I'd want to jump in the ocean.

[khirschman]

Absolutely. Therefore I'd give my teen about the same (or slightly less) freedom than I would in a small city, where that teen drives himself to work, and locks up the restaurant alone, and walks several blocks to school, and goes to the movie with friends, or walks to a buddy's house, or whatever, and makes it home by curfew, while checking in along the way. I can't fathom anyone who keeps a teenager completely joined at their hip for an entire cruise. That simply boggles my mind. If I were that kid I'd want to jump in the ocean.

 

Agree!! However...if that were the case..Id probably be the one to jump first!! Mine are young adults now and I still worry...I dont think a parent ever stops..but that doesnt mean you lock them up. I had similar rules to the ones listed here for them when they were teens.. And similar rules at home.. where like others have stated..walked to school, drove to work, closed up the pizza shop, went on dates..all without a parent holding their hand.

ps one of my favorite parts of the cruise was when we did meet with the kids and heard of all the great times everyone was having. That being said..going on our first childless cruise in June....Can Not Wait!!!!

[Poohsmommi]

Absolutely. Therefore I'd give my teen about the same (or slightly less) freedom than I would in a small city, where that teen drives himself to work, and locks up the restaurant alone, and walks several blocks to school, and goes to the movie with friends, or walks to a buddy's house, or whatever, and makes it home by curfew, while checking in along the way. I can't fathom anyone who keeps a teenager completely joined at their hip for an entire cruise. That simply boggles my mind. If I were that kid I'd want to jump in the ocean.

 

I'm not sure the age of the teen/kid in question was ever posted here. If we are speaking of a 15-, 16-, or 17-year old, then absolutely, they need some freedom to walk around with friends and have some fun. There are parents on these boards allowing their 9- and 10-year old kids to walk around alone. I'm not talking about going to grab an ice cream and coming right back. I am talking about "be back by 11 and have fun". Sorry - but any parent that does that needs to have their head checked.

Edited February 20, 2014 by Poohsmommi

[LrgPizza]

I'm not sure the age of the teen/kid in question was ever posted here. If we are speaking of a 15-, 16-, or 17-year old, then absolutely, they need some freedom to walk around with friends and have some fun. There are parents on these boards allowing their 9- and 10-year old kids to walk around alone. I'm not talking about going to grab an ice cream and coming right back. I am talking about "be back by 11 and have fun". Sorry - but any parent that does that needs to have their head checked.

I agree 100%. Since the thread was about teenagers and the teen club, I keep thinking 15-17 year olds. Any parent who won't let someone that age leave their beach chair to get an ice cream or use the bathroom without being escorted by an adult also needs their head examined. Edited February 20, 2014 by LrgPizza

[Poohsmommi]

I agree 100%. Since the thread was about teenagers and the teen club, I keep thinking 15-17 year olds. Any parent who won't let someone that age leave their beach chair to get an ice cream or use the bathroom without being escorted by an adult also needs their head examined.

 

Oh yeah - completely agree.

[ChiMimi69]

I'm not sure the age of the teen/kid in question was ever posted here. If we are speaking of a 15-, 16-, or 17-year old, then absolutely, they need some freedom to walk around with friends and have some fun. There are parents on these boards allowing their 9- and 10-year old kids to walk around alone. I'm not talking about going to grab an ice cream and coming right back. I am talking about "be back by 11 and have fun". Sorry - but any parent that does that needs to have their head checked.

 

 

Amen to THAT!!! :D Many valid points throughout this thread. However, I think we are forgetting something that I'm sure has happened to every parent at some point. And that is that NOT every child, regardless of how loving or structured the home may be, not every child will ALWAYS heed to all he/she has learned at home. Would my 5 y.o. DS even consider taking crayons to my tables at home? NO WAY! But, he did just that to his teacher's desk just 2 months ago!!! :o My point here is that some kids can be swayed, taunted, pressured or bored enough into doing some unimaginable things when their parents are not around. So, when they're older (15-18) we can only HOPE that we've done our jobs as parents and they can be trusted to keep themselves out of trouble. However, as someone else posted, I'd be more afraid of other unforseen dangers with allowing the tweens to roam about. And since my tween DS is NO WHERE NEAR able to work, drive, vote or serve his country...FREEDOM is NOT an option. :D

 

Happy cruising everyone!!! :)

[Ksack]

Hi Everyone!

You are correct that I hadn't posted my DD's age which is 13... That being said she is an overall good kid, and a lot of my concern is that we are on a shipload of strangers. I want her to enjoy her trip & not come back with any horror stories, and yes as a parent while it is my job to help her to learn to make good decisions there are just some things you don't want your kids learning the hard way.

 

I appreciate all of the comments & ideas. You've all given my hubby & I a lot to think about, so THANK YOU!

[Fivehole]

Ksack I'm sure you and your daughter will have a wonderful cruise! (And I bet you never expected the responses you received!)

 

Best wishes for a great cruise!

 

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[Cruising4]

My biggest rule is to stay in public spaces.

[Raindrops27]

Good for you. I would never allow a young child or a young teen to roam unattended either.

 

Thank you, by the way I love your name pooh is my favorite Disney character..

 

There are dangers out in this world. Adults that prey on children/teens. Kids that have had no home training, or come from dysfunctional homes.. You have no idea what people you're sailing with, or kids your kids will encounter on a cruise..I've witnessed so many children, pre teens, young teens, unattended exhibiting outrageous behaviors, spitting, fighting, underage drinking, knocking over tables chairs, plants, drinking leftover cocktails, running over other passengers just to name a few..My eldest son had a job at 15, I knew his friends and their parents very well and had no problem with them going to movie, etc..When my youngest kids come of age 15-16 of course (if we take a cruise with them.) will have the freedom to go get an ice cream and come right back, or talk to their friends within eyeshot or at the teens club..But to tell a 10-14 year old see you at dinner..For me and my household no way!

Edited February 21, 2014 by Raindrops27

[dalgirl]

Although our son took advantage of his freedom onboard at 14 (thanks to his Grandmother, who by the way was very strict on me!) he did all right his first time out, did not cause any trouble, and had a great time with kids his age.

 

That being said, the last time we took a family cruise during spring break, there was an older teen (18) who got quite a following of other younger kids on the ship - he was everywhere: loud, obnoxious, bothering other teens (mostly girls), and just putting himself out there asking for trouble. He was physically attractive and he knew it.

 

At one point he was so obnoxious to some young teen girls who did not appreciate his charms that DS (then 24) had to step in and ask him to leave them alone, which he promptly did. After that if he saw my son he would go the other way - much to DS's amusement. He just saw him as an obnoxious kid.

 

This older teen even tried to sneak a younger girl into an 18 and over game held later in the evening. The cruise staff were very firm with him (he really did have quite the reputation at the end of the cruise) and asked for ID - that is how I know he was 18. His was OK, but the cruise staff knew that the girl was not and they both left. The audience actually applauded.

 

So there is real concern on ships for the behavior of teens and even the best of them can take advantage of freedom. Keep tabs on them, but do allow them some freedom as a try out that will be there all too soon.

[lspringman]

Congratulations Raindrops. You win a cookie and ribbon! Carry on.

 

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You are my favorite! I think it...and there you are "saying" it!! :D

[SissasMomE]

Thank you, by the way I love your name pooh is my favorite Disney character..

 

There are dangers out in this world. Adults that prey on children/teens. Kids that have had no home training, or come from dysfunctional homes.. You have no idea what people you're sailing with, or kids your kids will encounter on a cruise..I've witnessed so many children, pre teens, young teens, unattended exhibiting outrageous behaviors, spitting, fighting, underage drinking, knocking over tables chairs, plants, drinking leftover cocktails, running over other passengers just to name a few..My eldest son had a job at 15, I knew his friends and their parents very well and had no problem with them going to movie, etc..When my youngest kids come of age 15-16 of course (if we take a cruise with them.) will have the freedom to go get an ice cream and come right back, or talk to their friends within eyeshot or at the teens club..But to tell a 10-14 year old see you at dinner..For me and my household no way!

 

I couldn't agree with this more!

[SissasMomE]

Although our son took advantage of his freedom onboard at 14 (thanks to his Grandmother, who by the way was very strict on me!) he did all right his first time out, did not cause any trouble, and had a great time with kids his age.

 

That being said, the last time we took a family cruise during spring break, there was an older teen (18) who got quite a following of other younger kids on the ship - he was everywhere: loud, obnoxious, bothering other teens (mostly girls), and just putting himself out there asking for trouble. He was physically attractive and he knew it.

 

At one point he was so obnoxious to some young teen girls who did not appreciate his charms that DS (then 24) had to step in and ask him to leave them alone, which he promptly did. After that if he saw my son he would go the other way - much to DS's amusement. He just saw him as an obnoxious kid.

 

This older teen even tried to sneak a younger girl into an 18 and over game held later in the evening. The cruise staff were very firm with him (he really did have quite the reputation at the end of the cruise) and asked for ID - that is how I know he was 18. His was OK, but the cruise staff knew that the girl was not and they both left. The audience actually applauded.

 

So there is real concern on ships for the behavior of teens and even the best of them can take advantage of freedom. Keep tabs on them, but do allow them some freedom as a try out that will be there all too soon.

 

Yikes! You just have to wonder where the parents are when all of this is going on!

[Fivehole]

Yikes! You just have to wonder where the parents are when all of this is going on!

 

Probably the same place they would be on land - nowhere to be found. On any given day, in any town in America, plenty of teens are out of hand, getting high, rifling through the family medicine cabinet, having sex, all of the horrors described in this thread. It crosses all socioeconomic lines, all races, all geographic areas. I've personally witnesssed it in five states, public, Catholic and private schools. It is unavoidable. (My daughter goes to a $50k per year prep school and there are bowls of condoms in the bathroom, weekly expulsions for drugs, etc.) Therefore, the sooner you teach your children how to hang onto their morals in spite of their surroundings, the better. This is the world they have to learn to live in, as they will undoubtedly be studying or working alongside these same kids and young adults for many years to come. Maybe some who are not parents of teens are shocked when they see this; I am numb to it, as I see it all the time. Or maybe it is just magnified tenfold when you see it in the confines of a cruise ship. There are some garbage parents out there raising future felons. If you have raised your kids well, you should be fine on a cruise ship. They will know right from wrong and make the right decisions. All of the behaviors described could just as easily be attributed to a grown man/woman (after all, they were hoodlums as kids too, probably). A cruise ship is just a microcosm of society. Aside from the previously-mentioned rules (only public areas, etc.) Be smart and vigilant, don't be alone, and have an awesome vacation. And don't forget - we're watching. For this law enforcement family, the saying is "two eyes on a convict".

[CP Tech]

If you have raised your kids well, you should be fine on a cruise ship. They will know right from wrong and make the right decisions. All of the behaviors described could just as easily be attributed to a grown man/woman (after all, they were hoodlums as kids too, probably). A cruise ship is just a microcosm of society. Aside from the previously-mentioned rules (only public areas, etc.) Be smart and vigilant, don't be alone, and have an awesome vacation.

 

Well said. If we're ever on the same ship, I'm buying you a drink.

[mousey]

Here's my two cents!

 

I've cruised with my DS since he was 9. Since he was 9 he was allowed to be on his own. From about 9-11 he communicated with the DH and I using a walkie talkie. From 12-14 we set up places for him to meet up with us on the ship. He was always there and on time. From 15 to 17 (the age he was the last time we cruised) he was totally on his own.

 

Yes, we did have rules about what he could and couldn't do (not bring strangers into our cabin or go into theirs w/o getting our permission first as an example). Yes he broke the rules twice in all those years and yes he paid the consequences for breaking them. We taught our DS well and he has never given us any reason to believe that he would do anything overly stupid if left on his own. Kids have to have the freedom to learn how to get along in the world. If you shelter them too much that can backfire and be extremely harmful when they find themselves in a situation they don't know how to deal with from not having any real life experiences. But there should be rules for this privilege of course!

 

Our DS never, ever, got into trouble or had anything negative happen to him. He always made friends easily on cruises and would hang out with them all over the ship. I had so many other passengers over the years tell me how much they enjoyed meeting my DS and having a conversation with him and I have had tons of compliments about how well behaved and polite he is. I'm extremely proud of my DS. Is he perfect?...Heck no! He's a kid! For example, two cruises ago he didn't listen to me when I told him baseball caps were not allowed in the MDR on dress up or not night...but he decided to show up wearing one anyway. Man was he was extremely embarrassed when the head waiter came over and politely asked him to remove it. He didn't need me to say anything to him about it...lesson learned the hard way.

 

We did eat most of our meals together but there were many times when he asked if he could eat with his friends and we always said yes. I remember one night I asked him (he was about 14) if he was going to be having dinner with us that night because he had skipped dinner with us the night before. He asked if it was alright if he could skip another dinner with us because he and his new friends (boys and girls) were going to get dressed up and go Cagney's, I believe it was. Anyway, I thought that was extremely cute. He had a ball and the DH and I got to have another romantic dinner with just the two of us. We have so many fun and happy memories from cruising with our DS.

 

Having said all this, never, in all the years we have cruised with the DS, was he ever allowed to go off in a port without us. He'll be 18 in June and we are going to be taking another family cruise and we're going to have to have a talk because he's an adult now but I still won't want him off on his own in port. It's not him I distrust though. It's been hard enough having him go off to college and be on his own for the first time. But these are my insecurities not his so we'll have to work something out. I have no doubt that we will and that all, as usual, will be well.

 

I'm of a mind that most teenagers are great kids and that they are our future. From my experience with my DS and all his friends over the years (and he has many because he's played every sport known to man so when I say I'm a Soccer Mom...I mean I've said on benches all over the state of CA.) I think these kids today are awesome (in spite of the few who ruin it for the others). Are they perfect no, do they make mistakes, yes. But they are people just like you and me not trained puppets that need to have their strings pulled constantly by overbearing parents! Just teach your children well and you'll have no problems with giving them the freedom they need to learn and grow.

Edited February 26, 2014 by mousey

[MackenzieRose]

My parents usually set a meeting time to meet at our cabin every few hours. My parents are protective but not to the point where they make me carry my phone or some other communication device with me. But I'm also an older teenager, so I guess it's mostly parent preference.

 

 

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