Expectations Vs Reality 2; or Dude Brings His Brood

[Staceman225]

And now, from my latest album "Straight Outta Half Moon", to the tune of "Boyz N Tha Hood" by Eazy-E, it's.....Boys On The Boat

 

Woke up quick, at about three

Loadin’ up Wife, and the kids, and me

I gotta get gone before the day begins

Before I start postin’ to my CC friends

About to cruise and have the time of my life

Lots of junk in my trunk, just like the wife

Ran in da house, just one more time

Everybody pee, now let the engine whine

Bailed outside and started up “Toes”

Just as I thought a song everyone knows

Jumped in the fo' hit the juice on ma ride

I got front back, and side to side

Then I let the stereo play

Jimmy Buffett songs I collect along the way

It was Margaritaville at the top of the list

Then I played my own stuff it went somethin' like this

 

Cruisin down the street in my one-fo’

Sweet little Rue, pickin’ her nose

Went to the port in my sailin’ rags

Porterheads out there cold, grabin’ the bags

A car pulls up, it’s little old me

A fresh CX5 rollin’ Wife plus three

I rolled down my window and I started to say

Faster to the Fun is the only way

 

[Chorus:]

Coz the boys on the boat are always fun

On the Lido deck just soakin’ up Sun

Knowin' nutin in life but to be afloat

Don’t mess wit’ me boy coz I’m on a boat!

 

 

Pramanade is the place to give me the pace

Cuz at karaoke my girls bring the “base”

I love to hear them sing, those girls of mine

Then it’s up the rooms where we start to dine

At the punchliner the jokes start to crack

I’m surrounded by water, ain’t goin’ back

My new Hawaiian shirt is all the rage,

One Sea day brunch, Fun Times front page

 

[Chorus:]

Coz the boys on the boat are always fun

On the Lido deck just soakin’ up Sun

Knowin' nutin in life but to be afloat

Don’t mess wit’ me boy coz I’m on a boat!

 

Relaxed real well and I just wanna chill

But going down the slide gives my girls a thrill

The waiters out there makin dat dollar

A Miami vice makes the Wife wanna holla’

They greet her wit a special and she starts drinkin

And from the hot sun, our eyes start blinkin

Gonna walk the track to firm that body

Yaya gonna Wobble at the Lido party

On the Sun Deck with my baseball cap

Plop down in a chair to take a nap

Sleeping and a snoring not a lot going on

Then Jess pulls up with an ice cream cone

A Pizza, a sammie, and some lemonade

Stress is all gone, yo, I got it made.

Now off the boat as we hit Progresso

Goin’ to Uxmal and down a taco!

 

[Chorus:]

Coz the boys on the boat are always fun

On the Lido deck just soakin’ up Sun

Knowin' nutin in life but to be afloat

Don’t mess wit’ me boy coz I’m on a boat!

 

I'm rollin hard, now under control

Then I sink a few bucks while we play Bingo

I looked at ma card and I said "oh brother"

I'll throw it in the garbage and go buy another

Walkin aft and I see the big slide

Now I am swimming, the Rue on the side

As we busted a U, to the lunch buffet

Pick me up some ‘zert along the way

Now I am beat so we go watch a show

Karaoke’s packed so we’re ready to go

Prime rib is up, with some wicked au jus

Got a cool wait staff, they some dancin’ foos…

 

[Chorus:]

Coz the boys on the boat are always fun

On the Lido deck just soakin’ up Sun

Knowin' nutin in life but to be afloat

Don’t mess wit’ me boy coz I’m on a boat!

 

We want to stay up late way past midnight

Take a stroll on the deck with the lights so bright

Barely stayed awake till 10 o’clock

Woke up slidin’ to the Cozumel Dock

We hit Mr Sanchos to get a cool drink

And from the bright sun I start to turn pink

Back on the boat for a sad sea day

Still enjoying life all along the way

One last show then we pack the case

Then one last stroll with the wind on my face

Enjoy a perfect night starin’ at the moon,

Then we realize we’re going back real soon

 

[Chorus:]

Coz the boys on the boat are always fun

On the Lido deck just soakin’ up Sun

Knowin' nutin in life but to be afloat

Dont mess wit’ me boy coz I’m on a boat!

[Staceman225]

Notes and Musings

Catch phrase and theme song

I once read somewhere that all great trips have a catch phrase and a theme song. This vacation was no different.

Catch phrase: “What has been seen cannot be un-seen”. Unfortunately, we had to say this a lot. DRESS APPROPRIATELY, people!!!!!

Theme song: “Where the Boat Leaves From” by the Zac Brown Band. This is a great getaway song. We played this on the way from the hotel to the port (duh!). Yaya misheard the lyrics and heard “Get away, to where the booty’s from”. We continued singing her lyrics for the rest of the trip.

 

 

Uxmal Tacos

There is a resort right outside of the Uxmal ruins. At the resort, there is a huge open-air gazeebo restaurant that serves, among other things, tacos. These are the most delicious tacos I have ever had. I think by now you know that I know food. And these are DELICIOUS! Wife and I went there 6 years ago and we still talk about how good the tacos were. They are served with some sort of buttery yellow sauce for dipping. It’s probably better that I don’t know what is in it but it is amazing. Sadly, the tour lasted longer this time so the Uxmal tacos were out. There was much weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. Next time, my precious morsels of joy. Next time.

 

Baby on board

This was our first cruise with a young child. Here are a few tips for those planning to cruise with croddlers:

Don’t.

Just kidding. We had a blast with Rue, from her dancing to the Mexican music (which was epic) to her singing “Got my toes in the water, ants in the sand”. However, there are a few things you may want to keep in mind. These kinds of activities (pools, excursions, eating enough for an adult) can wear croddlers out. Heck, it wears us big people out too. Remember to make plans for naps during the day. Rue turns into an angry one-horned rage beast when she gets tired. A good nap fixes this. As a family we had some required quiet time in the room each day. And during this time just about every day EVERYONE took a nap. It was wonderful! I wish my job had a 1 hour naptime.

Carnival people LOVE children. Or rather the ones we met did. The dining staff spoiled Rue. They brought her napkin origami each night in the MDR, took extra care to make her feel included (trying to interpret her meal orders), and generally took a little extra time with her. Then Titus from the Pixels staff had the patience of a saint getting just the right pose from her on formal night. He had us laughing more than the comedy show.

The Dr. Seuss productions were also a lot of fun - the Seuss parade, the story time, the Green Eggs and Ham breakfast. There is a lot of face time with the costumed characters – The Cat in the Hat, Sam I Am, and Things 1 and 2.

 

Professional “Call-Up-On-Stage” guy

If something is going on and someone is to be called up on stage, it will be me. On my last review it was the Hasbro Game Show. On this trip it happened twice. In the Cat in the Hat reading, I was acting the Cat in the Hat parts. Then there was the Gender Showdown show. On a sad note, the guys were defeated by the ladies by about 2 seconds on the last challenge. On a positive note, I found that if my arms were amputated, I could still carry coins and drop them into cups on the ground. Butt-cheek beer pong isn’t a talent I knew I possessed.

 

Triumph vs Fantasy Class Ships

There are two big things I like about the layout of the Fantasy class ships over the Triumph. Number one was the lack of places to eat rail-side. On the Fantasy ships, there is a row of tables beside the outer rail right outside the Lido buffet. This is our favorite place to eat. There is also another eating place further aft overlooking the Serenity deck. The Triumph doesn’t have these types of places and it seems to want to funnel you back inside. Number two is the lack of a forward-facing walkway on the upper decks. Wife and I have spent quite a bit of time on the Fascination’s Sun Deck (the highest deck) directly over the ship’s bridge looking out over the deep blue with the wind in our faces. I love this. On the Triumph there are forward-facing walkways a few decks down but it’s just not the same. You don’t get that “Jack and Rose” feel. Oops, I just lost 7 points from my “man-card”. I need to go on the Dream to continue my research.

 

Asian country guy

The musicians on the Triumph were wonderful. Extremely talented. However, one performer stands out. I'm sorry, I never learned his name. He was an Asian fellow with a rich fill baritone voice. He was quite skilled with the guitar also. And he seemed to specialize in country music. Don't get me wrong - he was very talented and a joy to listen to but an Asian singing country music - I kept wanting to adjust the tint on m TV set.

 

Quotes/stories from around the ship

I’m amazed at the snippets of conversation you can pick up in a heterogeneous place like a cruise ship. When you only hear a little of the conversation, the results can be quite entertaining. Some of these are from previous trips.

 

All fahts ah funneh. (Translation – All farts are funny.) – CD James in his native British accent (Fascination)

 

 

Wife signed up for a departure day spa session. This was scheduled to be at the same time as the first big commercial … I mean giveaway in the gym/spa. Naturally, who do you think had to wait out the sales pitch only to win absolutely nothing? Dude. While waiting, the door leading to the deck outside opened up and a blind gentleman with dark glasses and a cane walked in escorting his daughter who, by her glasses, was also blind. After a brief discussion, they discovered they were not where they intended to be and promptly left. I overheard another passenger ask “was that the blind leading the blind?” (Fascination)

 

The team captain for the guys during the Gender Showdown was from Louisiana. The question was … What original Monopoly game piece was inscribed with “For a good girl?” Someone hurriedly whispered the answer to the team captain - the thimble. When he delivered the answer to the British host, he proudly said in his best Cajun accent “timble”. As one the guys groaned and the ladies cheered. It took some time to convince the host that it was an issue of translation but we eventually got the point. I’m not even going to try to phonetically recreate how he said “hula-hoop”. (Triumph)

 

On stage during “butt-cheek beer pong” – While waiting for his turn, one of the gentlemen (I swear, it wasn’t me!) noticed one of the ladies wearing a knit skirt trying to “prepare” for her attempt. Then he whispered “Wow! That medallion is all up in that booty”. I could barely walk on my next attempt. (Triumph)

 

While determining who got the last crouton of my Caesar salad - *sing song while pointing from person to person* Eenie meenie miney moe...I am Rue Rue *snatch* *chomp*

[Staceman225]

Thus endeth the review. Thanks so much for those that took the time to read it an a special thanks to those who left comments. If you have any questions about New Orleans, the Triumph, Progresso, Cozumel, or any random thing that strikes your fancy, ask away. Until then, happy sailing!