leaving daughter in room alone

[jlew]

just wondering if anyone thinks it is an okay idea to leave an 11 year old in the room alone while husband and wife go out to the casino and stuff, like late in the evening. my husband seems to think this is okay, but i am not really liking the idea. just wondered what others thought.

 

Thanks!!!

[kimmimom]

we left our 11 YO in the cabin with her 2 sisters when we went out later in teh evening once they were all washed up for bed. We had a cell phone from kid carnival since we have a 2 YO, but we had brought walkie talkies also in case she needed us. She knew not to open the door for anyone, even family (since it was after 10 PM). We had no problems. GUess it depends on the responsibility of the 11 YO. Are you worried about someone coming in and borthering her or more about what she might do if left alone?

[Pamela W]

Since you are at sea, you would not be subject to laws concerning babysitters--most states require that the babysitter be at least 14. However a lot of kids babysit when they are 12 or 13 and it's fine. I guess I would use the sames rules as a home. Would you leave them home alone (even with a cell)? Would you be worried about a steward coming in? Our daugher was 13 before we left her alone while on vacation. We would have her chain or bolt the door and then she would have to let us in. We would use a password so she would know it was us. We would order room service for her-she thought she was so grown up that she never fell asleep. Also we were always back by midnight.

[kitty9]

With all the things going on with cruise ships, and the recent attempted rape of a young woman on an RCCI ship by a crew member, I don't think it's a good idea to let any child under the age of 14 alone in a cabin at night. Believe me, there are ways to get into a cabin, even when it's locked and anyone with a master key can get into any cabin. How do I know you can get into a cabin that's locked? We had connecting cabins on a ship, and the stewardess shut and locked the connecting door between our cabins. I was in my sister's cabin, and my door was double locked. I called the purser's office and within 2 minutes they were unable to get into my cabin, even with a double locked door. Just because you're on a cruise ship, you have to remember it's just like any city and there are some not-so-good people on cruise ships, just like there are bad folks in all cities.

[cjh]

Why don't you just let her go to the kids program while you are out at night?

[Happy ks]

Why don't you just let her go to the kids program while you are out at night?

 

That is exactly what I was thinking!

 

I have a daughter who is now 14, she has been on several cruises with us. I've never left her alone, I don't even like her walking through the ship alone. Since she doesn't care to go to the kids program, she just stays with us until we turn in. Of course, we aren't crazy for smokey casinos, so it may be an easier decision for us. She does have an older teenage brother, once in a while they hang out together.

 

I'd no sooner leave her alone in a ships cabin as I would a hotel on land. I've always been very protective of her and her brother.

[gcaymangal]

There is no way I would leave an 11 year old in the room alone. I would guess that the child would be scared to be alone. After everything that we are hearing, how could you consider leaving her alone? Basicially, I believe cruises are VERY safe. However, you need to use your head. (I am not insulting you). Most of the problems have occured when people were just plain not thinking. It is very possible that this girl will meet other children on the cruise. You may have other possiblilies at that time. She may be able to go to a movie in the Theater with a friend. There should be a cruise program for your child.

[jlew]

well you all pretty much made me feel better, see i agree that it is NOT a good idea to leave her alone in the room at night. It was my husband that thought it seemed okay. I am sure she prob. would be okay, and she would enjoy it or just fall asleep, and she would NOT do anything wrong for sure, but I just have a problem with it, I don't think I could even enjoy myself!! We are going to work on getting her to open up to the idea of going to the kids program at that time, does anyone know how this goes, it is RCCL Serenade of the Seas ship. We have been on MANY cruises before but have never used the childrens activities, (her older sister has always been w/us before....now she is in college). Thanks I feel better now~

[Cruisin' Chick]

Don't personally know about RCI (have heard good things about their kids program). You may want to check their website and the RCI forum here about the kids program and kidsitting. Some cruiselines do not have in-cabin kidsitting but rather group kidsitting (usually 10pm to 1am). The kids can watch movies, use video games. No planned activities after 10pm. Carnival and Princess' rates are very reasonable: $5/hr. It's a good deal if you want to check out the more adult-oriented shows (the main production shows are fine for children -- my daughter has enjoyed then since her first cruise at 23 months).

 

If I were you, I would have my girl go to the kids' program. There's tons for them to do. And if they're going while school is out, they will meet many kids in their general age group. Meet some of the other parents (esp. if she gets along with their kids) -- maybe both you and them can do an activity together at night while the girls hang out in kidsitting together.

[wrp96]

Royal Caribbean has both in cabin babysitting and activities in Adventure Ocean at night. For an 11 year old, I'd probably let her go to the evening activities in Adventure Ocean and hang out with whatever friends she makes.

[OPSoccermom]

When are you on the Serenade?

[bld16]

My 11yo DD begged to go to the late night in the Kid' Club on Explorer of Seas last year. She even offered to pay the $5. per hour charge just so she could go. The had a few nights when they planned special activities and other nights when they just hung out. Usually I had to drag her out so I could go back to the cabin and go to sleep!

[Onessa]

Our 10YO likes the kids programs so we've never needed to consider it in the evenings.

 

During the day, on our last cruise we took the opportunity to let her stay in the room alone a few times. She was working on her homework, and her dad wanted to show me something. She had to keep the balconey door shut and deadbolt the door behind us (which we do whenever any of us are in the room). We used our secret word and she had to look out of the peephole before she let us back in. Did this three times - all pretty short periods of time.

 

If DD doesn't want to do kids club EVERY night and is comfortable with the arrangement, you may want to give it a try. Be certain to set down the guidelines (NEVER out of the room, deadbolt the door, NEVER answer the door, etc.), keep the times short and/or check in often, and be certain she knows it is a "treat" not something she should be expecting to be able to do all the time - our daughter befriended a girl on a land excursion on our last full day out. The girl indicated that she didn't go to the kids clubs because it was a 'drag' - but she had never tried it. DD invited her new friend to the kids club that evening and really made a point of making certain she came (called her in her cabin and set a place where we would meet) - her new friend was very surprised how much fun they had at the kids club and expressed regret that she had not joined in the fun for the whole cruise!

[kimmimom]

I am not sure what is so magical about a 14 YO being allowed to stay in a cabin and not allowing an 11 YO to. If someone breaks in my 11 Yo would be as prepared as a 14 YO to handle it.

 

It is very dependent on the child. My 11 (she will be 12 in a couple months) was not scared to be alone. Since my daughter had immediate access to us and we could be there in less than 5 minutes, i felt totally comfortable with this. WOuld I leave her at home while I go out? Only if I am within 5 minutes and I have the cell phone. If I was going more than 5 min away, I won't leave her home alone and I never leave her wtih her sisters alone at home. On the cruise, the little ones fell asleep very quickly. Having a way for the 11 YO (14 Yo or any age child IMO) to reach you immediately is mandatory in case he/she has a problem, feels threatened, whatever. We had teh cell phone and would have used our walkie talkies that we brought if we had not had the cells. We usually were gone maybe 10:30-12:30.

[jlew]

That is pretty much how I figured we would do it IF we did leave her alone in the room. She is very responsible and mature, but I would only have done it if I had the walkie talkies or cell phones and of course only those rules you stated like NEVER opening the door etc. HOwever, I will plan to get her to go to the kids program if there is one around 10 or 10:30 at night, I don't care how much it costs....the peace of mind will be helpful!!!

[Mammado]

I am the most neurotic of parents, just ask my friends! I was comfortable leaving my kids alone in the cabin at night for a little while. As much fun as they had in the kids program, if I needed them up early for a shore excursion, it was better to have them in bed, watching a movie and they could fall asleep. My kids knew not to let anyone in. We had walkie - talkies and I checked in with them on the walkie - talkies and also went back to the room a few times.

 

My kids loved being in the room by themselves. Even though all they were doing was laying in bed watching a movie. It gave them confidence in themselves, they felt very mature and confident. We had strict rules and they followed all of them.

 

But it all depends on your kids and what you think they can handle.

 

Good luck with whatever decision you make. Only you know yourself and your children the best.

 

Michelle

[waitin4acruise]

Just reading this board and relized i have a will be 16yr old going on a cruise in july she would love to sit with some younger kids one night (more money to spend the next night) hey its a though

[Nliedel]

It realy depends on her. Level of maturity, what she does at home etc. It's a ship and a closed enviroment but anything can happen. I got my boys a sitter on the ship that came to our room. She was in one room watching TV (so they could sleep) and they were in the connecting room. it worked well for us. I wouldn't leave my, soon to be nine, year old alone till he's 16 on a bet! He's adorable but he can get into anything with an innocent smile. My other kids? They are a tad more responsible. I will be more likely to consider it when the time comes.

[WorkinMoM]

Hey Jlew

 

See if your daughter likes Adventure Ocean Kids Club. I sailed the Mariner in January and my daughter (10) thought it was age appropriate and wonderful. We are sailing Serenade in April and she can't wait to see what's happening at the club this time around. They have "Late night party" kind of thing that happens between 10:00pm - 1:00 am. I think the cost is about 5 or 6 dollars per hour (just during that time).

[Sandra*]

My 13 year old was alone with her 11 yr old brother and my 4 year old when we went on our last cruise. I wouldn't let her be alone at home at night until she was almost 13, though. However, I wouldn't be letting my 11 year old be alone or walk around the ship alone at night, though, without his older sister. Since I wouldn't let him do it at home, I don't see a need to start letting him do it just because he's on a ship. If my son wants to do the late kids club, great! They have supervision. I'd be there picking him up, though, even if he can sign himself out or not. Walking around the ship at night unsupervised is not something I want him doing or feel he needs to be allowed to do at 11. Maybe I'm a little overprotective of my kids, but I feel better knowing my 11 year old is with his older sister and not signing himself out at night and walking back alone throughout the ship. (Could also be my job that makes me so protective of my kids...I've heard alot of horror stories from 'typical/average' families that probably makes me overprotective of my own). You just never know, and in my opinion, cruises are not safer merely because everyone is contained on a ship. A lot could happen in 5 minutes. One poster did mention getting a cell phone or walkie talkie...we definitely will be doing that for our next vacation for sure. That's a great idea.

[IBoz]

My family (me, DH, DS and DD) sailed on Carnival Conquest in March 2004. Ds was 9 at the time. The Carnival kid's program for his age group allowed the kids to sign themselves out. I didn't realize that until he signed himself out one evening while we were at the show, and it took 2 hours to find him.

 

Note - the security on board is amazing. Within 5 minutes of us telling the concierge that DS was missing, they had printed out his photo (from the embarkation photos) and had a lot of people looking for him.

 

Needless to say, we changed our rules for him immediately!

 

Unless they have changed that rule (and I understand they have not), putting your child into the kid's program may not be a guarantee of safety.

 

We are cruising on Carnival Liberty in April. I am getting walkie talkies and will still rely on the kid's program at times. In DS' case, I would trust him in the cabin with a walkie talkie, but his sister (6) will need the adult supervision. She doesn't have DS' common sense.

 

Ilean

[DFritz]

IF you decide to allow the young person to stay in the cabin alone ( my daughter babysat other kids at age ten ) then be sure to call the cabin phone often to check on her; have her use all locks available; have her use the rubber door stopper on the inside of the door as an extra precaution; have her not open the door to anyone ( you use your password); and set the same basic guidelines you would at home.....don't leave the room, don't break any rules, etc. You know your own child and how responsible they are. If you would leave them home alone at home then treat this no differently. If you do decide to allow her to stay alone then don't let others make you feel bad for trying this option. You are the parent!

[bplazo]

I would not leave a child alone in a cabin.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Iboz, Princess is strict about the kids signing themselves out. At the registration, parents can mark down whether or not their kids can.

 

When the kids in the 8 to 12-yr group were doing a signature scavenger hunt, they paired up and went around to collect signatures from passengers ("Are you allergic to pineapple?" etc). As my daughter was not allowed to sign herself out, she was accompanied by one of the counselors and the two of them found us in the buffet having lunch (her dad got to sign for "Do you play chess?" but she struck out on me -- all that was left was the pineapple one and the wearing dentures one).

[EmJakeBubbie]

RCI has an Outstanding "kid's program" - all ages! Sailed SOS 12/05 - it's a beatiful ship - Great Adventure Ocean program - we have a 9 going on 19 g.daughter....she luvs the program (selects her own outfit for the day as she goes to "her club"). No way would I leave *any* kids alone on any ship! It's not the kids I worry about -- it's the adults. It's a floating city. Suppose a real disaster at sea occurred and you couldn't get back to your cabin:eek: ? The only way to be "safe 'n sure" is to stay together. A family vacation, IMHO, is just that: "family (being together)". If kid's don't enjoy being with mom/dad or visa versa, they should stay home. Adventure Ocean is staffed with highly qualified Staff - the programs are appropriately organized by age groups. The only problem would be if a kid doesn't mix well in strange or new environments - the Staff tries really hard and as I said before, their credentials are Top! When we go w/the kids, it's always RCI!