Do you let you 18-20 year olds drink?

[Weez]

People keep talking about local laws and drinking ages. Here's a little known subsection in the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Code, Chapter 106.06, subsection b:

 

106.06. PURCHASE OF ALCOHOL FOR A MINOR; FURNISHING ALCOHOL TO A MINOR.

b) A person may purchase an alcoholic beverage for or give an alcoholic beverage to a minor if he is the minor's adult parent, guardian, or spouse, or an adult in whose custody the minor has been committed by a court, and he is visibly present when the minor possesses or consumes the alcoholic beverage.

 

In Texas, it is legal for me to buy my 17-year-old a drink. Yes I know on the ship, the jurisdiction changes. Will I buy a drink for my daughter on the ship? Oh probably. Will I limit her to 1 or 2 a day? Oh probably. Will she drink responsibly? Oh probably. Will the people on the ship care? Doubtful. Will I allow her to buy a beer or two in the tourist shopping area on Cozumel? Probably. (ironically this is the only time she will be separated from me, as I bought an 18andaboveonly tour and she refuses to take a tour by herself.) Will the people in Cozumel care? Doubtful. Will her life be endangered? Probably not. She's not so stupid as to wander off with strangers or on her own in a foreign country. Will she be carrying her passport in Cozumel? Yes.

 

I did put my foot down re: Jamaica when she asked if she could buy some pot. Um, no.

 

I don't think I would feel real comfortable with my 17yo daughter walking around Cozumel on her own while allowing her to drink.

[Shanafan]

I think this is a personal decision. When my daughter was 18 and on board I signed for her to be able to have beer or wine. However, she knows the law is the law. She did not blink an eye when she was a week from turning 21 and I would not offer her a beer in our home. We joked about it and I know plenty of friends who did let their kids drink (a week before their birthday)but she knows where we stand on it. For her 21st birthday I rented her a limo because it is such a "coming of age" thing and I am not stupid enough to think she would not want to go check out different clubs that all her friends could and she couldn't. It was a total surprise to her, and after a couple hours of bar hopping with her friends she called and told me to get ready....they were on their way to pick me up to go out with them.

 

Am I naive enough to think she never drank in college.........no. But in my opinion it is most important to teach them responsibility. To be responsible if they chose to drink. To be responsible enough that if she says she is going to be the designated driver that she does not drink.

 

I would never tell anyone they should parent a certain way. My 3 kids are all different. I think as a parent you should know your kids best. And I believe that until your kids reach a certain age you should never say my kid would never do that. I've read on these boards of kids that end up with a huge sail and sign bill at the end of the cruise. My kids know there is a limit and respect that. And believe me....their limit may be 10 bucks a day, but they don't complain and half the time they don't spend it. And when my oldest was of age, she used her sail and sign card.....and it showed up on my bill. She may have had a beer or two or a glass of wine, but never in excess.

 

Like I said, I may just have gotten lucky with her. But every kid is different and I think you are the only one who can answer this question. Good luck......and know that you know your kid best. You will do the right thing.

[zantedeschia]

I don't think I would feel real comfortable with my 17yo daughter walking around Cozumel on her own while allowing her to drink.

My daughter is not your daughter and I'm not you. Would it make any difference if she was a couple months older than she is now and 18? I've told her she's not allowed to leave the shopping area, talk to any strange people (other than merchants) and go anyplace where she'd be alone, and to be back on the ship before my tour is over. Will she do this? Yes. I've been to Cozumel 3 times, she's been to Cozumel twice. Heck, I think Houston is a lot more dangerous than Cozumel is. :p

[Shanafan]

I see your point but you could also say that the message being sent is that: Drinking at your age is fine in a situation where it's legal and as long as it's being done responsibly. I don't think that signing a waiver in a situation where it's perfectly legal is encouraging them to "get around" the US laws. It's not that mom and dad have said it's ok when circumstances allow - they've said it's ok when it's legal which, in my view, is a big difference. It's not a loophole in the law - it is the law when you're onboard a cruise ship.

 

I'm not trying to start an argument (and hope this doesn't end up turning into one) - just trying to present a different point of view! :D

 

Very well said. I think responsibility is the biggest thing. And I certainly don't want to start anything either but I have been there.....have a daughter who is 21 and I feel I can offer my opinion. It is easy to say what you would or wouldn't do when you don't have kids or they are still young.

[cruisincath]

Such a touchy touchy subject. I am one of those Oldies but goodies that was "legal" at 18 (many moons ago). My son was almost 19 when we went on our cruise last year and he joined us. My DH and I signed for him to drink. At the time he didn't care for beer (he has since changed his mind), but went with his dad to the bar on the ship and had one. He could have taken it or left it. We didn't tell him he could drink anything other than beer and wine (which is the rule on the ship). He was fine drinking cola.

 

This is a really personal decision. My son, now pushing 20 has discovered alcohol. Do I like it? - HELL NO, Is it the end of the world? HELL NO. He know our rules, we enforce as much as we possibly can and remind him every time he leaves this house.

 

And, for the record, we are not naive parents. We have had 3 young people in our family killed in car crashes in the past 20 years. Two of these deaths were alcohol related. Obviously we stress the importance till we're blue in the face.

 

Moral is, each parent and family should do what they feel works for them, in the long run the kids are going to do what they want whether it be in front of us or behind our backs.

 

No matter what, we will do like our parents did and pray alot.

[Shanafan]

If you sign the waiver, here's the message you're sending: I think drinking at your age is just fine. It's just those pesky American laws that prevent you from drinking -- it's not me, the cool parent. So any time you can "get around" those laws, go ahead and do it.

 

What does this mean once the kid's back in the good old USA? Well, since mom and dad have "okayed" drinking when circumstances allow, it's okay to drink when the 2-years older boyfriend provides beer in a dorm room. It's okay to drink when the bartender winks and says, "I know you're 21. The negative message that's being sent is that it's okay to take advantage of loopholes.

 

Do you honestly think that if an 18,19, or 20 year old was on a cruise and went to a club that he/she could not have someone buy them a drink if they wanted one? You have a choice. You either make sure they are in the room at 9pm or you teach them to respect the law and be responsible.

 

This past November we took our 3 kids on a cruise along with my daughters fiancee. I cannot tell you how many times my 15 year old (born in June) was offered the drink of the day. Every day. Several times a day. She would laugh and say......I am 15. When we bought bottles of wine at dinner they would start to pour it for her. She would stop them. Without makeup, hair pulled up in a mess on top of her head....she looks older than she is. But she is a 15 year old with a very adult like body.

 

My point is, you can try to protect them as much as you can. We all want what is best for our kids. But there is going to come a time when they are put in situations that you hope you have instilled in them enough to help them make the right choice.

[Shanafan]

If they want to drink they will do it in port. It is legal in port, but not on a ship in international waters. If you feel you must, flame away. I have my suit on.

 

Candi

 

I agree. If a kid between the ages of 18 and 20 wants to drink.......whether you believe it or not.....they will. Unless you stay with them 24/7. It really boils down to teaching them right from wrong. Responsibilty.

[Shanafan]

I have a question about the waiver for the 18-20 year olds. This means that they can buy beer and wine when not with parents or guardians, but does it mean that I cannot buy specialty drinks (like pina coladas or something like that) for them when with me (like sail away or something)? I would think I could but I don't know. Any experience with this is appreciated!

 

Denise

I believe it means no liquor. And I also believe that it doesn't matter how old the person is buying or signing for the drink....it is the age of the person consuming it.

[Shanafan]

Yes, I would sign the waiver. I will say that every child is unique, and only you know if yours will be able to handle the responsiblility. If you think they can't, don't sign it.

 

I certainly don't think that when you turn 21 you magically turn in to a responsible person. I have seen enough people in 20's, 30's, 40's and even older acting irresponsibly when drinking, so age seems not to make much difference when alcohal is combined with stupidity. :cool:

Short sweet and to the point. Agree 100%

[Shanafan]

It sounds like you just turned 19. Your not getting the point. The point is - in the states - the drinking age is 21, yet on the ship its 18 with a signed waiver. That's lowering the legal age by three years. That's their question.:confused:

 

With all due respect, I think the way you put your opinion was a bit out of line. If I could quote you, in the states---the drinking age is 21. On board it is legal to gamble and drink beer and wine at age 18. Some states you can make a right turn on red. Some you can do U turns. Others you can't. My point is that I would rather teach my kids to obey the law and to be responsible for their actions than I would have to worry about my young adult drinking a beer or glass of wine on a cruise. If you teach them responsibility, this should be a non issue. But again, it all depends on the kid.

[Shanafan]

SOOO glad you brought this thread up and am anxious to read on..we are hoping to go on the Mariner the end of May with DD 23(not an issue of course EXCEPT DS(18) will want to go to club with her and I know he drinks while away at school, just can't decide should I allow him one or two beers a day or is that hypocritcal? what to do..what to do...looking forward to feedback..

 

If you think he is mature enough to have a couple beers and he is "legal" on the ship, I would not question it. I would be more concerned about knowing my son/daughter is in college and are not under my thumb and that I have done all I can to teach them to be responsible than I would with letting them have a couple beer in the clubs on board when they are at the "legal' drinking age on the ship. But, you are the one who knows your kid best. Do what you think is right. When our daughter was that age, we still put her on our sail and sign account. You can now check them daily, actually at any time to see what is being purchased. If they abuse it.......cut them off!!

[Leejnd4]

I realize there are a ton of posts on this thread, and I should probably go back and read them all to get a good feel for the tenor of the thread. And I normally would before posting to a thread on such a touchy topic. But I decided I'm not going to. I'm just going answer the question as it applies to me and my family.

 

My answer would be (and will, in a couple years when my teens are that age) no. The reason is that I am encouraging my kids, and have been since they were old enough to understand, not to drink at all. My kids are adopted. I have a 15 yo daughter and 14 yo son. They were both adopted at birth, and both are from the same birth parents (private adoption -- young couple, they simply oopsed again, and placed the second one with us as well).

 

Both of their birthparents have alcoholism in their families, which has caused untold heartache. My kids have always known they're adopted, and from the time they were old enough to understand, weve talked about drinking and what it can do to families, and some of what it did to their birth family. And given the well-documented genetic predisposition to alcoholism and addiction, I've tried to help them to understand that they, more than many other people, are at risk of becoming addicted if they ever even start drinking.

 

Of course I realize that there will come a point when I have to simply hope and trust that my messages (like all of my parental messages) have hit home, and then it will be up to them. But I would certainly be sending the wrong message if I signed to allow them to drink.

 

And to be perfectly honest, I don't think I would sign it even if we didn't have that particular issue going on. The fact is that I firmly believe that people at that age are simply not capable yet of making totally adult decisions, especially when placed in an alien, highly charged environment. Not only that, the fact is that teens who live in America have NOT been allowed to drink, so they won't have any basis or background to understand how it affects them, and how to deal with it, whereas kids who live in a country where they have been allowed to from an earlier age may have some actual experience with it. I SURE don't want my kids' first experiences with alcohol to be on this wild and crazy, exciting and unusual vacation environment!

 

I hope that all makes sense...and gives some food for thought.

 

LeeAnne

[SuiteCruiser]

I guess my question is are 19 year olds in Canada, UK, and pretty much every other country in the world more mature than those in the US?

 

My guess is no.

 

We don't have rampant drinking and driving here. We don't have any more young alcoholics here.

 

I do, however, follow the laws. I believe if a State had a law saying you can't wear polka dots on Thursdays, I wouldn't wear polka dots on Thursdays when visiting that state.

 

On board, 18 is legal as long as the parent feels their child is mature enough.

[Shanafan]

I realize there are a ton of posts on this thread, and I should probably go back and read them all to get a good feel for the tenor of the thread. And I normally would before posting to a thread on such a touchy topic. But I decided I'm not going to. I'm just going answer the question as it applies to me and my family.

LeeAnne

 

I think your post was wonderful. You answered what applies to you and your family. I respect you for that. You didn't say anyone was right or wrong, you replied to a question that asked your opinion. If more people were like you there would be less threads getting pulled for out of line or offensive comments when people are really asking for some guidance/opinions.

[Leejnd4]

Well garsh, Lisa, thanks! :)

 

LeeAnne

[Shanafan]

Well garsh, Lisa, thanks! :)

 

LeeAnne

LOL..........I meant it! You got your point across without saying, "I am right and you are wrong." Your post was very well said.

[beachchick]

I have a question about the waiver for the 18-20 year olds. This means that they can buy beer and wine when not with parents or guardians, but does it mean that I cannot buy specialty drinks (like pina coladas or something like that) for them when with me (like sail away or something)? I would think I could but I don't know. Any experience with this is appreciated!

 

Denise

 

People do it, but technically it's against the RCI rules. The rules state that no one (they don't care if it's a parent) may purchase or supply hard liquor for/to anyone under 21 (no exceptions listed) or any alcohol whatsoever to anyone under 18. Still, some parents and other cruisers do report that they do it. Personally, I wouldn't because, as a parent, I am responsible for setting a good example.

 

As for whether a parent should sign the beer and wine waiver, I agree that it depends entirely on the young adult, the parent(s), and the family dynamic. And a simple reminder that you will be checking the charges on their Seapass at least once a day would probably help with the tempation to go overboard (so to speak). Also, parents should keep in mind that when signing the waiver, they are also agreeing to be the responsible party if (hopefully not) the 18-20 y/o got into any trouble. Under these circumstances, RCI doesn't care that an 18-20 y/o is usually considered an adult (and thus would be expected to be responsible for whatever problems occur); it is the person who signs the waiver whom RCI will come to if a problem arises.

 

beachchick

[beachchick]

I've never understood the idea of teaching kids to drink responsibly by allowing them to drink. They don't learn this skill by drinking -- they learn by watching how you handle alcohol, what they see their friends do, etc. For example, if they see that you never get behind the wheel of a car, and you tsk-tsk stories about drinking drivers on television, they're going to learn that you disapprove of drinking and driving. If they see that you drink 1-2 drinks and stop, they're going to get the idea that's an appropriate amount.

 

Excellent response.

 

beachchick

[MszKitty]

I signed the release for my 18 yr old daughter. But we set the maximum of 2 drinks purchased in a 24 hr period. We kept tabs on her onboard account and she abided by the rules. Did someone else buy her drinks?...possibly. But that would have happened whether we signed the release or not.

[SondraC]

18 years old - old enough to die for our country, but not old enough to have a glass of wine with dinner?

 

Interesting.........

[droseball]

I am sorry to ask this same question again in this same thread, but I really think some of you may know the answer and this seems like the appropriate thread to ask it on rather than start a new one. So here goes-

 

I have a question about the waiver for the 18-20 year olds. This means that they can buy beer and wine when not with parents or guardians and not cocktails. But does it mean that I cannot buy specialty drinks (like pina coladas or something like that) for them when with me (like sail away or something) if they are between 18-21? I would think I could but I don't know. Any experience with this is appreciated!

 

Denise

[Weez]

I am sorry to ask this same question again in this same thread, but I really think some of you may know the answer and this seems like the appropriate thread to ask it on rather than start a new one. So here goes-

 

I have a question about the waiver for the 18-20 year olds. This means that they can buy beer and wine when not with parents or guardians and not cocktails. But does it mean that I cannot buy specialty drinks (like pina coladas or something like that) for them when with me (like sail away or something) if they are between 18-21? I would think I could but I don't know. Any experience with this is appreciated!

 

Denise

 

You must have just missed the responses because it was answered. The only thing the waiver allows is beer and wine. No hard alcohol at all is allowed with the waiver.

[hmg]

I have a question about the waiver for the 18-20 year olds. This means that they can buy beer and wine when not with parents or guardians and not cocktails. But does it mean that I cannot buy specialty drinks (like pina coladas or something like that) for them when with me (like sail away or something) if they are between 18-21? I would think I could but I don't know. Any experience with this is appreciated!

Denise

Officially, the answer is no, 18-20 year olds cannot buy a drink and you are not supposed to buy them one. Unofficially, I don't think you'll have a problem with this.

[Weez]

My daughter is not your daughter and I'm not you. Would it make any difference if she was a couple months older than she is now and 18? I've told her she's not allowed to leave the shopping area, talk to any strange people (other than merchants) and go anyplace where she'd be alone, and to be back on the ship before my tour is over. Will she do this? Yes. I've been to Cozumel 3 times, she's been to Cozumel twice. Heck, I think Houston is a lot more dangerous than Cozumel is. :p

It would make no difference if she was a few months older. I wouldn't want my 40 yo wife walking around cozumel drinking alone let alone a 17yo. Ever hear the expression $#!T happens? She could be the most mature and responsible young girl around that doesnt change the fact that there are nuts everywhere. While I am not thoroughly convinced this happened the way it's being portrayed read this thread here . It is certainly within the realm of possibility.

 

BTW: I'm not saying Cozumel is any more or less safe then the other stops. I am saying it's not a good idea allowing any 17yo girl to walk around shopping and drinking alone someplace foreign to her with no friends around.

[MrsPete]

I don't think I would feel real comfortable with my 17yo daughter walking around Cozumel on her own while allowing her to drink.

I also would feel uncomfortable with a 17 year old walking around Cozumel on her own. She may be a responsible young lady, but at that age she's also undoubtably naive. There are so many things that can happen -- and a young woman alone would be a target (with or without alcohol involved). Remember, too, that if she's already expressed a desire to buy pot, she can easily do that in Cozumel. Someone will argue that she could do it in the US as well, but at least in the US she isn't likely to be thrown into a foreign jail (while her parents are far away and have no idea what's happening to her).

 

Natalee Holloway was a responsible young woman in the company of friends -- look what happened to her. 17 or even 18 is too young to be away from one's "safety net". They're called YOUNG adults for a reason.