Do you let you 18-20 year olds drink?

[MrsPete]

Do you honestly think that if an 18,19, or 20 year old was on a cruise and went to a club that he/she could not have someone buy them a drink if they wanted one? You have a choice. You either make sure they are in the room at 9pm or you teach them to respect the law and be responsible.

That's not the point at all. They may sneak a drink or two along the way, but they'll know it's NOT with my approval. Huge, huge difference. If I give my approval on the ship where "it's legal", then I've essentially said I'm okay with them drinking -- it's just the circumstances that matter. It opens the door for them to drink at other times, other places . . . and that's not okay with me. Sure, they may "test the waters", but it'll be considerably less if they know it's without my permission.

 

I cannot tell you how many times my 15 year old (born in June) was offered the drink of the day. Every day. Several times a day. She would laugh and say......I am 15. When we bought bottles of wine at dinner they would start to pour it for her. She would stop them. Without makeup, hair pulled up in a mess on top of her head....she looks older than she is. But she is a 15 year old with a very adult like body

This is a problem, and I think we all know why: the cruise lines make $$$ from drinks, and they push them without much regard for age limits. This makes it all the more important that parents do their part.

[MrsPete]

18 years old - old enough to die for our country, but not old enough to have a glass of wine with dinner?

 

Interesting.........

You know it's not that simple. You know there are lots of gray areas and mitigating factors tied up in both drinking and military service; thus, the perceived incongruity falls flat.

[Weez]

You know it's not that simple. You know there are lots of gray areas and mitigating factors tied up in both drinking and military service; thus, the perceived incongruity falls flat.

 

While I agree its not just that simple. The fact that remains if a draft ever is put back into effect it will start with people at the age 18.

[Nliedel]

This is such a tough one. My boys are not old enough yet but I already have an answer. Our two oldest are adopted and Steven was born addicted. We advocate no drinking for him if he can, for life. So I would never sign off for him to drink.

 

The older one? Well maybe. He is usually good at following the rules if they are laid out but you have to be VERY literal with that kid and offer no wiggle room. He thinks he is pulling fast ones all the time but I have a pretty good handle on him so I would chance it and prepare him and myself to cut his butt off quick.

[JeannyCT]

It sounds like you just turned 19. Your not getting the point. The point is - in the states - the drinking age is 21, yet on the ship its 18 with a signed waiver. That's lowering the legal age by three years. That's their question.:confused:

Although mainly Americans are on the ships there are also passengers from other countries. I guess the companies try a compromise to make everybody happy. And by using the waiver, ultimately the parents decide if their children drink alcohol or not.

 

Drinking age in Germany:

beer/wine/champagne = 16

everything else = 18

[hmg]

My daughter is not your daughter and I'm not you. Would it make any difference if she was a couple months older than she is now and 18? I've told her she's not allowed to leave the shopping area, talk to any strange people (other than merchants) and go anyplace where she'd be alone, and to be back on the ship before my tour is over. Will she do this? Yes. I've been to Cozumel 3 times, she's been to Cozumel twice. Heck, I think Houston is a lot more dangerous than Cozumel is. :p

Obviously, you know your daughter better than anyone else. While no one has the right to tell you how to parent your child, and I'm not telling you what to do, I am suggesting that you make sure she has a friend with her.

 

I have two big, strong, athletic, usually level-headed boys, 17 & 21. On those rare occasions when we do split up they are expected to stay together, or to be with pre-approved friends. We are in a foreign country. You never know what can happen. (Granted, things happen in the US, but at least you're home.) Case in point--the boys were meeting friends at the beach on Mykonos. They were expected to either call or text message me throughout the day. Even with guidance, they got off the bus too soon or got on the wrong bus and wandered Mykonos lost for about 45 minutes. They were fine and think of it as a great adventure. I freaked out when I heard about it, thankfully after the fact. They've both said that they wouldn't have been nearly as calm if they'd been alone.

[Homeschoolmom69]

I'm an adult and I'm not brave enough to want to be alone in a strange country. Heck, I don't like being alone in a strange town in the US!! I guess maybe I'm just a weenie. LOL

[droseball]

You must have just missed the responses because it was answered. The only thing the waiver allows is beer and wine. No hard alcohol at all is allowed with the waiver.

 

You are right Weez! These posts are coming faster than I can read them. I missed a whole page obviously before I reposted my question. Thanks!

 

Denise

[Weez]

You are right Weez! These posts are coming faster than I can read them. I missed a whole page obviously before I reposted my question. Thanks!

 

Denise

 

No problem, enjoy your cruise :D

[RevSmith]

NO! NO! NO! Not if it's not legal...it sends the wrong message.

[surfklutz]

This is such a tough one. My boys are not old enough yet but I already have an answer. Our two oldest are adopted and Steven was born addicted. We advocate no drinking for him if he can, for life. So I would never sign off for him to drink.

 

The older one? Well maybe. He is usually good at following the rules if they are laid out but you have to be VERY literal with that kid and offer no wiggle room. He thinks he is pulling fast ones all the time but I have a pretty good handle on him so I would chance it and prepare him and myself to cut his butt off quick.

 

Wow ...finally a voice of reason. I do not drink, and I have never wanted my children to drink. If you are teaching your children that vacations, or having a good time, or celebrating, or relaxing...or, means having a drink, then I think that you may have a problem on your hands later on.

 

Does everyone out there drink? And do all of you really think that drinking equates to maturity? We live in a messed up world if that is the case. By the way - I have 3 grown children - none of them drink. I can't say that they probably didn't try it at one time or another - I am not that stupid - but at this point none of them drink at all and for that I am damn proud.

[Weez]

NO! NO! NO! Not if it's not legal...it sends the wrong message.

 

Thats the point of this whole thread. It's NOT illegal. So you are left with the issue of do you want to allow your child to do something they are legally allowed to do even though you may not agree with it.

[Weez]

Does everyone out there drink? And do all of you really think that drinking equates to maturity? We live in a messed up world if that is the case. By the way - I have 3 grown children - none of them drink. I can't say that they probably didn't try it at one time or another - I am not that stupid - but at this point none of them drink at all and for that I am damn proud.

 

Of course not everyone drinks and you should be proud that none of them drink. Would you be ashamed of them if they ordered a beer at dinner or lunch? I think your misconstruing what people are saying. I don't think anyone has said if you drink your mature. What they are saying is it may be acceptable for a mature young adult to have a beer as opposed to a wild young adult. Big difference IMO.

[Clarkk W Griswald]

I have 3 grown children - none of them drink. I can't say that they probably didn't try it at one time or another - I am not that stupid - but at this point none of them drink at all and for that I am damn proud.

 

So if a grown, adult child drinks a beer or a glass of wine with dinner, they are know longer worthy of your pride?

[Weez]

So if a grown, adult child drinks a beer or a glass of wine with dinner, they are know longer worthy of your pride?

 

I'm looking forward to her/his answer myself. :rolleyes:

[Radio Head]

The last thing young adults who have little or no experience with alcohol need, is to be drinking among a ship full of strangers in the middle of the ocean. :confused:

[conrad75070]

If you sign the waiver, here's the message you're sending: I think drinking at your age is just fine. It's just those pesky American laws that prevent you from drinking -- it's not me, the cool parent. So any time you can "get around" those laws, go ahead and do it.

 

What does this mean once the kid's back in the good old USA? Well, since mom and dad have "okayed" drinking when circumstances allow, it's okay to drink when the 2-years older boyfriend provides beer in a dorm room. It's okay to drink when the bartender winks and says, "I know you're 21. The negative message that's being sent is that it's okay to take advantage of loopholes.

 

Using your same logic, when I visit Great Britain, I shouldn't drive on the left side of the rode because we drive on the right side of the road here in the states. It would send a wrong message to my children if I obeyed the laws of the land I am visiting. If I did then my children will think it is okay to drive on the left side of the road when we return to the states.

[KCTeach]

I too have a 16 year old and a 22 year old both males. My 22 year old just graduated from college and contrary to one poster did not and does not drink. I would never allow my sons to do something on a ship that they couldn't do at home. I teach high school students and they think it is dishonest for parents to allow something sometimes but not others. If you think you have taught them to drink responsibility think again. First of all to teach them to drink is way beyond me. Alcohol is all around them but to "teach" them about something that has the power to consume them? Would you also sign a waiver for them to smoke on the cruise? Why would you want them to indulge in something that has the potential to harm?

KC

[ssolomon56]

18 years old - old enough to die for our country, but not old enough to have a glass of wine with dinner?

 

Interesting.........

 

Hhmmmm....no kidding! I can't get over the fact that everyone keeps talking about whether or not "they allow" their 18-20 year old "children" to drink. Seems like a double standard to me that 18+ is an adult for some things....but, not liquor. I was married at 18 (a million years ago)...a mother a few months before turning 20...and still couldn't buy beer for my 25 year old husband when I went to the grocery store. It all seemed pretty strange to me.

[Leejnd4]

I too have a 16 year old and a 22 year old both males. My 22 year old just graduated from college and contrary to one poster did not and does not drink. I would never allow my sons to do something on a ship that they couldn't do at home. I teach high school students and they think it is dishonest for parents to allow something sometimes but not others. If you think you have taught them to drink responsibility think again. First of all to teach them to drink is way beyond me. Alcohol is all around them but to "teach" them about something that has the power to consume them? Would you also sign a waiver for them to smoke on the cruise? Why would you want them to indulge in something that has the potential to harm?

KC

This is more or less my approach as well. My reasons for not signing the waiver would have less to do with sticking to American laws than it would with sticking to own parental laws. While it may be legal to drink on board, I personally wouldn't sanction it because I, as a parent, do not want to encourage it. I am a strong believer in consistency as a parent, and to me, this would be a matter of remaining consistent in my message. I believe that a person is not ready to deal with the emotional and physical aspects of drinking alcohol until one is at least 21, regardless of what the law allows.

 

Just for clarity, I should mention that I do personally drink, although certainly not to excess. Some have said that I am being inconsistent in my message, because I'm telling my kids not to drink, while I'm doing it myself. But I believe that my kids comprehend that they have a genetic propensity to alcoholism, while I do not (there is none in my family background, while there is much in the families of my kids' birthparents). I also remind my kids that when they get to an appropriate age they can decide for themselves if they want to chance it, although I encourage them not to.

 

LeeAnne

[KCTeach]

Once again, If parents want their children to follow rules, set them and don't bend them. There are rules everywhere, teens even 20 year olds need to learn to follow them. The rules are 21 is legal. if they are a legal citizen of the USA they are not legal until 21.

[teach01]

We will be sailing on the Voyager next month with ds15, and ds19. We are leaning toward signing the release so ds19 can have beer, IF he agrees to a few rules. I was just wondering what the rest of you with kids in this age range do. Let them drink (moderately) or not at all??

 

I am sure to get flamed for this but here goes nothing. So let me get this straight, you will allow your 18 yr. old to break one rule (LAW) if he agrees to follow a few other rules? Hmm...

[Weez]

This is more or less my approach as well. My reasons for not signing the waiver would have less to do with sticking to American laws than it would with sticking to own parental laws. While it may be legal to drink on board, I personally wouldn't sanction it because I, as a parent, do not want to encourage it. I am a strong believer in consistency as a parent, and to me, this would be a matter of remaining consistent in my message. I believe that a person is not ready to deal with the emotional and physical aspects of drinking alcohol until one is at least 21, regardless of what the law allows.

 

Just for clarity, I should mention that I do personally drink, although certainly not to excess. Some have said that I am being inconsistent in my message, because I'm telling my kids not to drink, while I'm doing it myself. But I believe that my kids comprehend that they have a genetic propensity to alcoholism, while I do not (there is none in my family background, while there is much in the families of my kids' birthparents). I also remind my kids that when they get to an appropriate age they can decide for themselves if they want to chance it, although I encourage them not to.

 

LeeAnne

 

I understand and agree with almost everything you have said. Let me ask a question though, what is the appropriate age? legal age? any age you decide? or the age you decide while they are still living under your roof?

[teach01]

As a parent and an educator, this issue is much larger than simply allowing the drinking beer/wine while on vacation. It is alow bigger the they drink anyway etc.

 

By knowing the laws and allowing children to disobey them, what parents do not realize is that this type of behavior will carry over into all other aspects of thier lives. I can see it in schools as an elementary school teacher, kids come to school and do not feel as though they have to follow the rules of the school or classroom, I cannot tell you how many times we as teachers hear, "my mom lets me do it at home".

 

Please think about the larger effects of your decisions!

[shirleygr]

Ok, I've read all the posts and here goes.

I am from a family of alcoholics--my mother, my father, my brother, my sister all have substance abuse problems. For a long time, I did not drink at all. When I married my husband, I started drinking wine because he enjoys a glass of wine with dinner on the weekend. No more than that. Because of the family history, I am very careful how much I drink and when I drink and it's never been a problem.

Now I have a son about to turn 18. I have let him have a glass of wine on special occasions--holiday dinners and the like. He enjoys comparing the nuances in the wines we drink and has absolutely no interest in drinking anything else or in getting drunk. I believe since we have been so careful in our behavior with alcohol and not making it a mysterious, for grown-ups only, experience, and having seen it's negative effects on our family, he has a healthy respect and appreciation for alcohol and it's pros and cons.

As so many others have said, you know your child best. You need to set your own boundaries and establish what will be tolerated and what is not acceptable for your own family. If RC says it's okay for 18 - 20 year olds to drink with parental permission, it is your choice whether or not to give that permission based on your own morals and ethics. Only you can choose what is best for your own family.