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Do you let you 18-20 year olds drink?


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I am sure to get flamed for this but here goes nothing. So let me get this straight, you will allow your 18 yr. old to break one rule (LAW) if he agrees to follow a few other rules? Hmm...
An 18 year old drinking on a ship is not breaking any LAW or rule even.
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As a parent and an educator, this issue is much larger than simply allowing the drinking beer/wine while on vacation. It is alow bigger the they drink anyway etc.

 

By knowing the laws and allowing children to disobey them, what parents do not realize is that this type of behavior will carry over into all other aspects of thier lives. I can see it in schools as an elementary school teacher, kids come to school and do not feel as though they have to follow the rules of the school or classroom, I cannot tell you how many times we as teachers hear, "my mom lets me do it at home".

 

Please think about the larger effects of your decisions!

 

teach01,

 

You totally lost me on this post. What post in this thread talks about a child disobeying the law?

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teach01,

 

You totally lost me on this post. What post in this thread talks about a child disobeying the law?

 

Not laws specifically but rules. Having said that, in America, it is against the law for those under the age of 21 to drink. That post was more about picking and choose what rules/laws should and should not be followed and the effects of that.

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Not laws specifically but rules. Having said that, in America, it is against the law for those under the age of 21 to drink. That post was more about picking and choose what rules/laws should and should not be followed and the effects of that.

 

That's the whole thing, this isn't America were talking about here. It would be perfectly legal and within the "rules" if you decided to allow your children to drink beer or wine.

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But if the drinking age on the ship is 18 for beer and wine, because they are going by the LAWS of the countries we are in, then it IS LEGAL!!!!!! My daughters are 19 and 20...I will sign the waiver. If we are off the ship, and they go into a restaurant without me, they will get served with or without my permission, because that is the LAW of that country.

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To LeeAnn, and others who have children with alcoholism in the family. I agree with you-but you are not making your decision based on the law, but of problems that, unfortunately, the kids have been born in to. that is a whole other issue.

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As a parent and an educator, this issue is much larger than simply allowing the drinking beer/wine while on vacation. It is alow bigger the they drink anyway etc.

 

By knowing the laws and allowing children to disobey them, what parents do not realize is that this type of behavior will carry over into all other aspects of thier lives.!

 

I don't agree with this. The law is 18 on this ship. So they aren't breaking the law for the "country" they are in.

 

Considering we are not drinkers (before dinner and wine with meal sometimes), and our 19yr old college soph. is VERY responsible, I would still sign the waiver and that is my right as a parent, and you don't have to sign yours as that that is your right!

 

Our kids are decent humans, considerate of others, ready to volunteer to help people, good students, hard workers, and these are things that make me proud. Not that they don't want a beer with their pizza, or a glass of wine with a good meal. :confused:

 

This entire thread brings up that point that we all parent our kids differently - that does not make your way better than anyone elses, it is just your way.

 

Smooth sailing to everyone.

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Once again, If parents want their children to follow rules, set them and don't bend them. There are rules everywhere, teens even 20 year olds need to learn to follow them. The rules are 21 is legal. if they are a legal citizen of the USA they are not legal until 21.

 

That statement is simply not true. The rule in the US is that 21 is legal. The rule onboard is that 18 is legal. You don't follow the laws of the country where you're a citizen; you follow the laws of the country/jurisdiction where you are. If you followed your logic, a 19 year old from Canada could drink in the US regardless of the US laws. Or, to make an even more obvious point, would you travel to England and insist that you have to drive on the right side of the road because that's the law back home?

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Wow

 

I thought the analogy of driving on the right in the UK because you are a US citizen and that is the law in the US summed it up very well.

 

I have to side with the folks teaching kids that different laws apply in different lands and those are the ones that matters, and responsibilty. I was of an age where the drinking age chased me, it was legal at 18 when I turned 18, then the legal age changed to 19 shortly after I turned 19, then 21 after I turned 21. And I drank, and I learned the hardway with getting sick and hangovers that drinking too much wasn't for me, and somehow i turned out alright.

 

Also it is that simple....old enough to die for your country, you should be old enout to make ALL your own choices and old enough to face the consequences.

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Of course not everyone drinks and you should be proud that none of them drink. Would you be ashamed of them if they ordered a beer at dinner or lunch? I think your misconstruing what people are saying. I don't think anyone has said if you drink your mature. What they are saying is it may be acceptable for a mature young adult to have a beer as opposed to a wild young adult. Big difference IMO.

 

Yep you are right. I was misconstruing - but reading back on the posts - there are many that are justifying because they are mature. I guess I don't get the importance of drinking at all.

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I too have a 16 year old and a 22 year old both males. My 22 year old just graduated from college and contrary to one poster did not and does not drink. I would never allow my sons to do something on a ship that they couldn't do at home. I teach high school students and they think it is dishonest for parents to allow something sometimes but not others. If you think you have taught them to drink responsibility think again. First of all to teach them to drink is way beyond me. Alcohol is all around them but to "teach" them about something that has the power to consume them? Would you also sign a waiver for them to smoke on the cruise? Why would you want them to indulge in something that has the potential to harm?

KC

 

BINGO!

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A 20 year old is an adult, I don't care what the US "law" says. There will be no difference if a 20 year old drinks than if a 21 year old does. It's all about their decision-making and responsibility. I've seen some 40 years olds that act like children when they are intoxicated, and 18 year olds who act much better than that adult counterpart. These US laws assume if one is 21, their decision making skills will be slightly sharper. Of course, this is all subjective to this arguement...every child is different, as well as every parent.

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I understand and agree with almost everything you have said. Let me ask a question though, what is the appropriate age? legal age? any age you decide? or the age you decide while they are still living under your roof?

Well, I believe this is a decision each parent must make for themselves. For me personally, and in this specific situation, the age is 21, and that's for several reasons. First, because once they reach 21, they don't need my permission -- the situation itself specifies that age cut-off. Second, I have done a lot of reading about this, and my reading has led me to conclude that teenagers' brains are simply not fully developed until at least 21, and in some cases even later. There have been some fascinating recent studies that indicate that the human brain goes through some sort of development process in the early 20's that finally, truly allows individuals to make good, smart judgements that consider more than the immediate impact or gratification. And my own experience with, well, myself, and watching other young people grow up, has shown this to be true -- I certainly was not making appropriate decisions, factoring in real long term impacts, until I was in my early twenties.

 

So that's my response...and again, it's just my own parental judgement call. :)

 

LeeAnne

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I also would feel uncomfortable with a 17 year old walking around Cozumel on her own. She may be a responsible young lady, but at that age she's also undoubtably naive.

She's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, had drug problems, is sexually active, I would say she's anything but naive. This will give her a chance to learn how to get off and on the ship on her own, how to take a tender, the chance to wander around and enjoy a culture on her own. It's not like she's taking a taxi to the other side of the island, hopping on a shuttle to the mainland and taking off with strangers. She's going to be hanging around the pier area the entire time onshore, till she decides she's bored enough to go back to the ship. If you're saying the pier area in Cozumel is unsafe, then you've seen a completely different side of Cozumel than I have. (she's probably exposed to more dangers every day in her school than she will be in Cozumel)

 

Natalee Holloway was a responsible young woman in the company of friends -- look what happened to her.

From what I understand, this person had been partying heavily and willingly left her friends to go off in the company of complete strangers in a foreign country. She did something totally irresponsible.

 

For that matter, Cozumel isn't Aruba. :p

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We sail in two days with 2 sons, 17 and 20. No drinks for them onboard unless we buy them which is not likely ( and not even an option for the 17 yr old). I am not naive enough to think that they could find a way around the rules but hope they will have enough respect for our wishes to comply. 20 yr old is away at college all year and can do as he wishes there but if he can't go a week without a beer then we have a problem. I also didn't want to have to worry about them doing something stupid under the influence and ruining our trip.

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She's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, had drug problems, is sexually active, I would say she's anything but naive. This will give her a chance to learn how to get off and on the ship on her own, how to take a tender, the chance to wander around and enjoy a culture on her own. It's not like she's taking a taxi to the other side of the island, hopping on a shuttle to the mainland and taking off with strangers. She's going to be hanging around the pier area the entire time onshore, till she decides she's bored enough to go back to the ship. If you're saying the pier area in Cozumel is unsafe, then you've seen a completely different side of Cozumel than I have. (she's probably exposed to more dangers every day in her school than she will be in Cozumel)

 

 

From what I understand, this person had been partying heavily and willingly left her friends to go off in the company of complete strangers in a foreign country. She did something totally irresponsible.

 

For that matter, Cozumel isn't Aruba. :p

 

All i can say is wow, I don't even know where to start so I'm just going to exit stage left. ;)

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Remember, too, that if she's already expressed a desire to buy pot, she can easily do that in Cozumel.

Kind of be real hard to do without money. :) Hm, I think I'll educate her on what one does when they're stranded in a foreign country.

 

Do you know the answer to this? You get in touch with the US Consulate. Aha, there is a US Consulate in Cozumel, I'll be sure to copy down the info and take it on the trip.

 

Consular Agent in Cozumel

(An extension of the Consulate in Merida)

 

Offices 8 & 9 (2nd. Floor, taking the stairs to the right)

"Villa Mar" Mall (located inside Juarez Park, which is another name for the Main Square or "Plaza Principal")

Between Melgar and 5th. Ave.

Cozumel, QR. 77600

Monday-Friday: 12:00 noon-2:00 p.m.

Phone: (987) 872-4574

Fax: (987) 872-6662

 

 

Wow, typical Mexico, they're only open 2 hours a day! Guess I'll have to let her borrow a credit card....

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She's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, had drug problems, is sexually active, I would say she's anything but naive. This will give her a chance to learn how to get off and on the ship on her own, how to take a tender, the chance to wander around and enjoy a culture on her own. It's not like she's taking a taxi to the other side of the island, hopping on a shuttle to the mainland and taking off with strangers. She's going to be hanging around the pier area the entire time onshore, till she decides she's bored enough to go back to the ship. If you're saying the pier area in Cozumel is unsafe, then you've seen a completely different side of Cozumel than I have. (she's probably exposed to more dangers every day in her school than she will be in Cozumel)

 

IMHO this doesn't sound like a teen who should be left to her own devices in a foreign country. What if she does get "bored"?? Good luck to you and to her.

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With all due respect, I think the way you put your opinion was a bit out of line. If I could quote you, in the states---the drinking age is 21. On board it is legal to gamble and drink beer and wine at age 18. Some states you can make a right turn on red. Some you can do U turns. Others you can't. My point is that I would rather teach my kids to obey the law and to be responsible for their actions than I would have to worry about my young adult drinking a beer or glass of wine on a cruise. If you teach them responsibility, this should be a non issue. But again, it all depends on the kid.

OK, I agree, I was probably out of line and I' sorry for that. I just think that this is a very touchy subject and not to be taken "that lightly". (I could accept a well deserved flaming for all my posts that I have "taken lightly" recently - but I just thought this subject warranted no funnies in terms of belittling it) Each to his/her own as they say, whether or not they would let their kids drink. For the record, we signed the waiver for our 18 yo DS to buy beer. He had maybe one or two a day. Believe it or not, on a previous cruise a year earlier he had one or two a day. - they never even asked his age. I think point really is.. put it in front of them and they will more than likely respect moderation. Hide it from them... and who knows? JMHO.

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OK, I agree, I was probably out of line and I' sorry for that. I just think that this is a very touchy subject and not to be taken "that lightly". (I could accept a well deserved flaming for all my posts that I have "taken lightly" recently - but I just thought this subject warranted no funnies in terms of belittling it) Each to his/her own as they say, whether or not they would let their kids drink. For the record, we signed the waiver for our 18 yo DS to buy beer. He had maybe one or two a day. Believe it or not, on a previous cruise a year earlier he had one or two a day. - they never even asked his age. I think point really is.. put it in front of them and they will more than likely respect moderation. Hide it from them... and who knows? JMHO.

No need to apologize. :) I signed a waiver for my daughter. I think (if I remember correctly) I was commenting on the poster acting like a 19 year old.....but it was not a big deal.

 

Everyone has a different opinion. I signed a waiver for my oldest because I trust her. I know her better than anyone. I knew she would not abuse the fact that I did sign for her. I checked her seapass every day and could tell if she bought anything.

 

At home there is no way in hell she would be allowed to drink in our house, or with our permission. And I stuck by that until the day she turned 21. (although I think I shared a glass of wine with her a week before her 21st birthday when we were in our pajamas watching desperate housewives.)

 

My other two. Who's to say what I will do when that time comes? It all depends on the kid. That is why I think that while opinions are fine we all have to go with our gut when put in the situation. And for someone who has a 5 year old say........I would never do that.........having 3 kids all raised in the same home ect and they are all different I know you can never say what you would or wouldn't do until in a certain situation.

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