Stupidest thing heard on cruise

[tjevans]

I've got three:

 

[said by passenger after three days onboard the ship]: "Hmm . . . deck 5 - promenade. What's here? I haven't been on this deck before."

 

[passenger boarding the ship on Deck 0]: Do we need to go up or down to get to Deck 6?

 

[talking elevator]: Ding! Deck 5.

[passenger]: Is this Deck 9?

[other passenger]: No, it's deck 5.

[te]: Ding! Deck 6.

[p]: Is this Deck 9?

[op]: no, it's deck 6.

[te]: Ding! Deck 7.

[p]: Is this Deck 9?

[entire elevator]: No, it's deck 7.

[this is when we got off]

 

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Carnival Conquest 4/18/04

[GoinCruisin]

We were standing at the stairs and someone (mind you, I would say they were quite tipsy)... they asked "which way is down", I thought I would die.

 

 

Since our First Cruise on the Sensation 7/3/2003

 

Until the Sensational Cruise from the Bayou!

 

 

See our cruise pics at: http://groups.msn.com/thesensationgroup/chrisandchrispictures.msnw?Page=1

[marklodi]

Greg Kneale mentioned this during his Debarkation Talk on the 5/9/04 Pride Cruise...

 

"This actually came from a real Guest Comment Card: 'Your TV selection on board is really bad. Have you ever thought about getting cable?'"

 

Mark ºoº

 

 

5/9/04 Pride Cruise - 1st Cruise!

 

Visit our Webshots Gallery

 

[Deaf Dude]

We were on a bus going to the shopping area in Jamaica and a black lady seated across from us noticing all the black people in Jamaica says "wow, I didn't know so many African Americans lived in Jamaica." I wanted to tell her they prefered "African Jamaicans" but held my tongue.

[dosi]

A lady at the table adjacent to ours told us she would not be getting off the ship in Mazatlan as there were "Waaay too many Mexicans there". This was on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera!

 

doris

 

"I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine"--Caskie Stinnett

 

Elation 10/20/02

Paradise 9/21/03

Pride of Aloha 6/07/04

Star Princess 10/24/04

[Hawaii697]

I'm planning group cruise of 45+ people sailing next year on the Destiny. Mostly new cruisers. Why does it take two different guys on the same day to email me the same question...does the ship have cable? One other question asked was do we sail from shore? Oh God, its going to be a long cruise

 

<center>

Cruisin' Southern Caribbean August 2005

</center>

 

[teedee]

I hate to admit it, but the stupidest thing I ever heard on a cruise ship was said by....me. My daughter caught her high heel and fell down some stairs going into a theater. Luckily she wasn't hurt, but how did her brilliant mother react? By yelling "Cindy, stop, stop falling!" When she did manage to catch herself she glared at me and said "You think I'm doing this on purpose?" It's still a joke in our family.

 

Terri

 

Skyward - 1989

Carnivale - 1991

Holiday - 1994

Fantasy - 1998

Century - 2002

Century - 2003

Jubilee - 7/04

Century - 9/04

Coral Princess - 3/05

Valor - 10/05

 

Days til Valor Vampires Cruise

[CabinForFour]

My favorite stupid thing heard on a cruise was uttered by none other than my sister on our Triumph cruise to Bermuda. After spending a day and a half in Bermuda, we had been at sea for approximately six hours heading home. My sister (sitting at another dinner table with more family) was talking with their female assistant waiter about a date the assistant waiter was anticipating after her shift was finished. My sister asked, "Is it someone on the ship?" My nephew replied, "No, he's swimming from the island right now."

 

10th Anniversary Cruise -- Paradise, March 2004

 

Two Little Sailors: Victoria's First and Benjamin's Fourth cruise -- Carnival Victory, October 2003

 

Benjamin Sails to Bermuda-- Carnival Triumph, May 2002

 

Benjamin's Birthday Cruise -- Carnival Destiny, Jan. 2002

 

Benjamin's First Cruise -- Carnival Victory 2000

 

 

Paradise 3/04 - Exotic W. Caribbean

Carnival Victory 10/03 - Bahamas

Carnival Triumph 5/02 - Bermuda

Carnival Destiny 1/02 - S. Caribbean

Carnival Victory 10/00 - Nassau

Inspiration 7/99 - S. Caribbean

Tropicale 1/99 - W. Caribbean

Carnival Destiny 7/97 - W. Caribbean

Fantasy 4/96 - Bahamas

Fantasy 7/94 - Bahamas

[Brneyznfl]

I hate to admit this too, but I said this stupid thing. On my Triumph cruise when I boarded, I was very hot, very tired and verrrrryy hungry. I went up to the Lido deck, stood in a verrrrry long line for the buffet and once I got my food, couldn't find anywhere to sit down! At this point, I was VERY frustrated! I decided that I would just go back and eat in my cabin but I got turned around in my sleep deprived state of confused mind and couldn't find the elevator. Finally I stopped a crew member and asked her where the inside of the ship was. I didn't realized what I said until she gave me a look like I was really stupid, I was already inside the ship.

 

Jan

 

NEXT CRUISE - MIRACLE 2/13/05!

 

Triumph, Inspiration, Holiday, Explorer of the Seas, Granduer of the Seas, Glory, Conquest, Sensation

[marcyjane]

The funniest thing I heard on the ship was one of the sea days. A couple of senior ladies were standing with coffee cups and one said to the other,"which side of the ship should we sit for the best view of the ocean".

 

I thought I would crack right there, I had to move fast not to bust out right in front of them.

 

Another one was a group of senior couples and they were talking about learning there way around the ship, one lady said to the group, "I just hope I remember where everything is and how to get around when the ship turns around and heads back to Tampa".

 

Victory New York to Canada 09/25/2004 Cruise

 

Victory Cruise New York to Halifax

 

Carnvial Sensation 2003

 

Carnival Fantasy 1993

***So Glad To Be Back Cruise Again

 

 

Carnival Victory New York to Canada

[KellyJean]

Okay, this is a second hand story but....

 

On my last cruise, my friend was telling me about a conversation she had with the saleslady in the onboard gift shop. My friend made a comment to the lady about how much the ship was moving (rough seas). The sales lady told her that it was because we were getting into new water.

 

Excuse me but how long has the Atlantic Ocean been on this planet? I don't think it's "new" water. (Note: I know what the lady was talking about but still found it hilarious).

 

Kelly

 

My Cruise Pics: http://community.webshots.com/user/kfrancis5

 

Cruise Critic Partae Pirates Cruise

 

Mariner of the Seas Reali-Tini Cruise 10/16/05

 

Sovereign of the Seas, Cabin #4057 - 9/21/03

Brilliance of the Seas, Cabin #8670 - 11/09/2002

Paradise, Cabin E194 - 09/01/2001

Atlantic, 12/1991

[tef43]

Stupidest thing? Easy, Jeff Bronnnnsonnnnn and his obnoxious "whassssssuppppp?" routine, two years AFTER everyone else on the planet stopped saying it.

 

Eleven cruises so far. Up next:

Carnival Valor 10/30/05 CC Group

Perhaps something else as well. Watch this space.

 

Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when somebody's watching.

[pazooter]

Sitting in the hot tub on the 5th night of a 7 night cruise, a young couple (late 20's) commented that they had not eaten in the dining rooms because they wanted to save on tips. They told us that our Sail and Sign bill would be charged a tip for each time we ate in the dining room. We couldn't change their minds on that issue, so just let it go. What a waste of their money!

 

Cathy

 

 

 

 

Until our **STAR** search

Seattle to Alaska on NCL Star

June 27, 2004

 

Fantasy 12/25/03

Inspiration 4/13/03

NCL Majesty 12/27/02

Jubilee 3/23/02

Norwegian Sea 11/23/01

[BelleNAL]

You know you always have them, the men who come on a cruise to pick up women. Well, I had been watching this guy hit on every woman on the ship and he was very obnoxious and actually not even good-looking. (LOL) He was sitting kind of close to me and he got up and said, "Excuse me, but could you tell me where I could find some water?" I looked at him and did a hand motion toward the ocean. He looked at me and got very red and walked off. I knew he was talking about drinking water, but, that in itself is a stupid question also.

 

Tracey

[jfritz126]

While sitting, relaxing and people watching, a group of older people passed us and one remarked....... "look....there is water on both sides of us!"

 

Until the Legend Party to Nowhere October 22, 2004

 

Until our Legend Cruise to Somewhere May 13, 2005

 

 

Holiday May 2, 1987

Imagination Jan 22, 2001

Victory Sept 13, 2003

Miracle May 9, 2004

Legend Oct 22, 2004

Legend May 13, 2005

 

 

[dan40]

There was this "Know it all" type that mentioned Azipods to a passenger. "What are they?" asked the stranger. The "Know it all" proceeded to explain all about Azipods to this new and uninformed passenger. At the end of this impromptu education session, the stranger pulled out a brochure, read a bit and then said, "This ship doesn't have Azipods."

"Oh," I said and walked away red-faced.

 

Dan

 

Till 9/5 Paradise Panama Canal

 

[buncogal]

One of the saddest but funniest stories I had heard of was , two older women were on a cruise and were not aware that dinner was included in the price of the cruise, so they had brought cheese and crackers with them which they ate in their rooms every night!!!! Poor things!

[halos]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dan40:

There was this "Know it all" type that mentioned Azipods to a passenger. "What are they?" asked the stranger. The "Know it all" proceeded to explain all about Azipods to this new and uninformed passenger. At the end of this impromptu education session, the stranger pulled out a brochure, read a bit and then said, "This ship doesn't have Azipods."

"Oh," I said and walked away red-faced.

 

Dan

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

 

I don't feel like pulling out the dictionary.

What's an azipod????

 

I believe in Miracles

MIRACLE JUNE 19, 2004

Calm Seas, Good Friends

[Bunkie103]

DH and I had joked about "running or swimming out for todays paper" and nearly fell over when we heard someone actually ask on a sea day if the Purser had a copy of todays paper. Now there is a paper delivery person who deserves a BIG tip!

 

Mary

Triumph Eastern 10/03

Victory CTN 6/17/04

Sensational Cruise from the Bayou 10/23/04

[dan40]

halos,

Azipods are the propulsion units on many of todays ships.

On older ships the engines were connected to prop shafts which extended through the hull and drove the propellers. With Azipods, the engines are soft mounted and connected to electric generators only. The Azipods hang below the hull and are combo rudders with large electric motors. The propellers are attached to these motors. They both power the ship thru the water and provide steerage. They can be rotated 360 degrees to provide power and steerage in any direction at any speed.

By eliminating the huge steel prop shafts extending through the hull, and soft mounting the engines, vibration is greatly reduced.

Dan

 

Till 9/5 Paradise Panama Canal

[kruisinkat]

Boards are up and running again!

 

06/04 Holiday Cruise

 

 

Nordic Empress 10/92

Ecstasy 10/98

Holiday 10/02

[MoonBaby]

um....what exactly does the phrase "new water" mean?

 

*******Proud member of O.A.T.C.******

 

6/12/04 2nd Anniversary on The Carnival Miracle

 

6/2003 Carnival Legend

1st Anniversary

6/2002 Celebrity Mercury

Honeymoon

[Rosstu]

While still in port in Miami on the Triumph, I heard one passenger complaining at the purser's desk that he had paid for an oceanview cabin and the only view he had was of the parking lot.

 

NCL Majesty 11/98

Fascination 10/01

Triumph 12/02

Triumph 8/03

RCCL Majesty of the Seas 11/03

[dolphincruiser404]

I can't remember the other things listed but on my last cruise the director announced the 10 stupidest things he had heard on a cruise. Here are the ones I can remember!

 

- How many feet below sea level are we?

- What do they do with the ice sculptures when they melt?

-Does the crew stay on the ship?

-Has this ship ever sunk?

-Do you make your own electricity?

[ken56]

after a tour around St. Martin and the tour guide informing us that it was the only Island in the world "owned" by 2 different countries and other Island facts we went past the airport comming back to the ship and she again mentioned that it was an " international" airport ( which means you can fly directly into St. Martin ) I overheard a boy of about 12 to 14 say to his mom.......... "why do they need an international airport? why dont they just drive to the other side." to which mom replied.........."because its 2 different countries " I truely hope the young man went back to school and said the same thing to his teacher. mom is not about to enlighten him it apears. true story. I swear.