Has This Happened to You in Dining Room?

[JWMom]

After all my questions regarding attire in Dining Room, I had an interesting thing happen. We just returned from our first cruise on the Jewel and it was fabulous. However, at dinner at the table next to us, there was a pretty large group together with a daughter maybe 7 yo and she brought a portable DVD to dinner every night. I was subjected to watching Scooby Doo every single night at dinner. (my chair was such that I couldn't move and not see it and she sat in the same chair the entire time) The first night I could hear the sound clearly-at least they had the "courtesy" to use headphones on the nights after that. I thought it was pretty tacky-coloring books are one thing but a DVD is another (this was the 8:30 seating too). I just think at some point a child should be expected to enjoy a meal and not be entertained the whole time. Kids wearing shorts in the dining room don't bother me (because I can't even see the shorts!!-although I had my children wear long pants) but a movie the entire dinner does bother me a little bit!! I asked my waiter if this was a normal occurrence and he acted like it was.

[Cruising89143]

I've never had that happen but it doesn't surprise me one bit. Another case where the child wears the pants in the family in place of the parents. Sad that a child that age cannot be made to sit through dinner and show some manners.

[Ericknow32]

WOW, and I thought having a DVD player in the car was bad. It troubles me that families no longer have conversations and talk about things. Is spending an hour with your family really that bad that kids need something to do?

[Disneycruisers]

Another case where the child wears the pants in the family in place of the parents. Sad that a child that age cannot be made to sit through dinner and show some manners.

 

I disagree.

 

I certainly wouldn't bring a portable DVD player to a dinner, but expecting a 7-year old to sit calmly show manners for an almost 2 hour meal is a bit unrealistic. Yes, it can be done, but usually at a price. I had a grandmother who used to pinch, slap, etc to get kids to behave. 'By d*mned, they'll MIND me.' Mean and abusive was a better description, aka Joan Crawford-like.

 

JWMom, I wouldn't have liked being subjected to the DVD player either. I agree, coloring books would've been a better choice.

[Cruising89143]

I disagree.

 

I certainly wouldn't bring a portable DVD player to a dinner, but expecting a 7-year old to sit calmly show manners for an almost 2 hour meal is a bit unrealistic. Yes, it can be done, but usually at a price. I had a grandmother who used to pinch, slap, etc to get kids to behave. 'By d*mned, they'll MIND me.' Mean and abusive was a better description, aka Joan Crawford-like.

 

JWMom, I wouldn't have liked being subjected to the DVD player either. I agree, coloring books would've been a better choice.

 

Then parents need to make a choice if that's the case and eat upstairs in the casual dining area where it's not as busy. I know that at the age if my parents told me to sit and behave I did it. Again this is a case of the kids wearing the pants in the family.

[birdergal]

I noticed this on our last cruise in Jan. The table was far enough away from ours that it didn't bother us. I guess if we had been closer, it might have been a problem. It did seem to keep the child quiet though.

[JWMom]

I forgot to mention that they also had what was probably a 15 yo girl who also had a headset listening in! She would hang around for about 15 minutes listening to the movie and then get up and leave!

[Casshew]

it is not something I would do, but I certainly wouldn't have a problem with another family doing it. They are enjoying their meal, their child is enjoying her meal too. No harm done by, especially since the meal is such a long process ~ everynight.

 

Were there other kids at the table or just the one little girl?

[ilove2vacation]

hi I have 2 kids myself and I wouldnt let them bring that to dinner on a cruise but,maybe it was so that the parents can enjoy themselves.I at home let my kids bring a book,gameboy when we go out because it keeps them busy and quiet,oh did I mention no fighting.My kids fight 24/7. Sarah

[cruiseknots]

(my chair was such that I couldn't move and not see it and she sat in the same chair the entire time)

 

 

I find it hard to believe that you had no other alternative but to watch the DVD player. Why didn't you switch seats if it bothered you so much. It is very unrealistic to expect a 7 yo to sit for 2 hours and behave the whole time. Which would you rather deal with? A child watching a movie quietly, or a whiny, bored, tired, crying child? I don't think this is a case of the child wearing the pants but rather a family that had the courtesy to think about their fellow passengers and allow them to eat a peaceful meal. It amazes me how such little things can really bother some people for absolutely no reason other than to have something to complain about. Who cares???????? Why does watching a DVD peacefully at one table, bother someone at a different table??? I just don't get it. If it were on speakers then I can understand, but not on headphones.

[natesfirewife]

My kids have been traveling since they were 5 & 7 and never have we had an issue with manners over dinner, or any other time we were eating. It is all how you raise them. I was taught to be respectful and that is what I am teaching now. If you show them when they are young then they will know what is expected of them. They eat with us every night except for one while we are on the ship. After dinner (we do 2nd seating) they like to go to the kids club. But I think the point is that we are there as a family and we should eat as one, not watching movies or such. I love the conversations that are had at the table, I find them interesting because of the new people you meet.

 

On another note, I do agree that if they had headphones on then it shouldn't be such a big deal. The only people we can control is ourselves, so expect out of the ordinary things to happen. :) Maybe you can have one of your family members switch chairs with you or you could just ignore it.

 

Misty

[suezyq50]

I think it is a shame that dinner time is not family time. I was brought up and have raised my four children to stay for the meal and asked to be excused. When my 5 year old grandson comes, he is expected to sit with us. He may not like what is being served, but he does sit with us. I don't expect others to do the same.

[Disneycruisers]

My kids have been traveling since they were 5 & 7 and never have we had an issue with manners over dinner, or any other time we were eating. It is all how you raise them. I was taught to be respectful and that is what I am teaching now. If you show them when they are young then they will know what is expected of them. They eat with us every night except for one while we are on the ship. After dinner (we do 2nd seating) they like to go to the kids club. But I think the point is that we are there as a family and we should eat as one, not watching movies or such. I love the conversations that are had at the table, I find them interesting because of the new people you meet.

 

On another note, I do agree that if they had headphones on then it shouldn't be such a big deal. The only people we can control is ourselves, so expect out of the ordinary things to happen. :) Maybe you can have one of your family members switch chairs with you or you could just ignore it.

 

Misty

 

Please remember that every child is different, and that 'it's all in how you raise them' is an over-generalization. (IMHO) Some kids are very low maintenance. Ask other parents with two or more kids.

 

And cruisingator, I agree about there are other dining options. But if a child was well-behaved in the dining room with the DVD player, I don't think they're wearing the pants. If they were, the adults wouldn't have lasted through the meal.

[Leejnd4]

I was subjected to watching Scooby Doo every single night at dinner. (my chair was such that I couldn't move and not see it and she sat in the same chair the entire time) The first night I could hear the sound clearly-at least they had the "courtesy" to use headphones on the nights after that.

Okay, I can understand you bringing this up as a negative commentary on your opinion of that other family's parenting choices, but what I can't really understand is why you feel you were "subjected" to it, as if this choice of theirs impacted you, and was rude to you. While I would agree with you if they'd left the sound on each night (which I agree IS rude), once she started using the headphones, it no longer became your issue. I mean really, how big WAS this thing? Portable DVD's are pretty small, and if it's sitting on another table, so what? Don't look at it!

 

As for your critique of their parenting choice, I'd like to toss something out there. You don't know what their situation was. Perhaps the girl has special needs -- she could be autisitic, or having ADHD or some other issue that would make it far more comfortable for her (as well as those around her) to keep herself occupied with a DVD. I have a special needs child myself, and I would resent anyone feeling like they have a right to judge the choices I make as a parent...provided, of course, these choices don't negatively impact others. And having a child bring her own little screen and headphones to allow her to be able to comfortably and quietly enjoy a dining room meal, while also giving her parents the opportunity to have an undisturbed nice dinner, was no imposition on you.

 

I'm sorry, but I just see this as another judgemental "look how much better a parent I am" thread.

 

LeeAnne

[above sea level cruiser]

Don't even go there with me lady. Telling a person not to go on a cruise line that attracts families? This is nothing more than a cop out or a sorry excuse for the parents. A seven year old child is old enough to be taught to have manners and sit still for dinner. This is the problem that we have with some parents today. They don't want to be bothered with being parents, especially if they're on vacation. Let a video be the babysitter. It's all in the attitude and yes I did what I was told as as child because I knew darn well what the consequences were if I didn't. It's called discipline.

cruisingator:

 

for what it is worth, I completely agree with you. People (kids and adults) need to realize that they are among others on the ship (or anywhere else for that matter) and should at least try their best. As for the previous posters comment to move to another line - not called for IMO.

[boaterette]

It's a sad state of affairs when parents no longer teach their children manners. It is laziness on the parents part. If children fight in a restaurant you warn them then get up and leave if not corrected. It is part of the problem today with children showing no respect for others. All these parents are teaching them is the Me ME Me philosophy. It is hard work to be a parent. But done properly is rewarding.

[above sea level cruiser]

It's a sad state of affairs when parents no longer teach their children manners. It is laziness on the parents part. If children fight in a restaurant you warn them then get up and leave if not corrected. It is part of the problem today with children showing no respect for others. All these parents are teaching them is the Me ME Me philosophy. It is hard work to be a parent. But done properly is rewarding.

Very well said. I completely agree.:)

[Soxfan05]

I was subjected to watching Scooby Doo every single night at dinner. (my chair was such that I couldn't move and not see it and she sat in the same chair the entire time) The first night I could hear the sound clearly-at least they had the "courtesy" to use headphones on the nights after that.

 

I wouldn't let my kids bring a DVD to dinner but that's just me and the expectations I have for my own kids.

 

I wouldn't take issue with another family's choice if they were considerate and used headphones. To each his own.

 

Maybe the problem wasn't with the girl's dvd but with the group you were dining with. If you were enjoying their company, chances are you would not have even noticed what was going on around you. Unless of course it was a kid having a tantrum that her parents are "choosing to overlook".. which is worse than Scooby Doo.

 

For your sake, I hope it was at least classic Scooby Doo. I would've stuck a fork in my eye if I was forced to watch that obnoxious little Scrappy.

[Cruising89143]

Okay, I can understand you bringing this up as a negative commentary on your opinion of that other family's parenting choices, but what I can't really understand is why you feel you were "subjected" to it, as if this choice of theirs impacted you, and was rude to you. While I would agree with you if they'd left the sound on each night (which I agree IS rude), once she started using the headphones, it no longer became your issue. I mean really, how big WAS this thing? Portable DVD's are pretty small, and if it's sitting on another table, so what? Don't look at it!

 

As for your critique of their parenting choice, I'd like to toss something out there. You don't know what their situation was. Perhaps the girl has special needs -- she could be autisitic, or having ADHD or some other issue that would make it far more comfortable for her (as well as those around her) to keep herself occupied with a DVD. I have a special needs child myself, and I would resent anyone feeling like they have a right to judge the choices I make as a parent...provided, of course, these choices don't negatively impact others. And having a child bring her own little screen and headphones to allow her to be able to comfortably and quietly enjoy a dining room meal, while also giving her parents the opportunity to have an undisturbed nice dinner, was no imposition on you.

 

I'm sorry, but I just see this as another judgemental "look how much better a parent I am" thread.

 

LeeAnne

 

Just for the record, I am a happy person thank you very much but I shoot straight from the hip and do not sugar coat things. Also don't tell me that raising kids today is different. That is another cop out by parents who do not want to do their job in raising kids. It doesn't take village to raise a child.

 

The dining room is a formal setting regardless if your on RCI or Cunard. I expect to have kids on my cruise and have no problem with them but I also expect parents to be parents.

[Cruising89143]

cruisingator:

 

for what it is worth, I completely agree with you. People (kids and adults) need to realize that they are among others on the ship (or anywhere else for that matter) and should at least try their best. As for the previous posters comment to move to another line - not called for IMO.

 

I laugh at those type of comments about taking another line. I must have struck a nerve with this parent. Oh well such is life.:rolleyes:

[cruiseknots]

Okay, I can understand you bringing this up as a negative commentary on your opinion of that other family's parenting choices, but what I can't really understand is why you feel you were "subjected" to it, as if this choice of theirs impacted you, and was rude to you. While I would agree with you if they'd left the sound on each night (which I agree IS rude), once she started using the headphones, it no longer became your issue. I mean really, how big WAS this thing? Portable DVD's are pretty small, and if it's sitting on another table, so what? Don't look at it!

 

As for your critique of their parenting choice, I'd like to toss something out there. You don't know what their situation was. Perhaps the girl has special needs -- she could be autisitic, or having ADHD or some other issue that would make it far more comfortable for her (as well as those around her) to keep herself occupied with a DVD. I have a special needs child myself, and I would resent anyone feeling like they have a right to judge the choices I make as a parent...provided, of course, these choices don't negatively impact others. And having a child bring her own little screen and headphones to allow her to be able to comfortably and quietly enjoy a dining room meal, while also giving her parents the opportunity to have an undisturbed nice dinner, was no imposition on you.

 

I'm sorry, but I just see this as another judgemental "look how much better a parent I am" thread.

 

LeeAnne

 

Thank you LeeAnne. I agree with the ""look how much better a parent I am" thread." It's usually people that don't have children" that are the experts on raising children. I can't figure that one out.

[ger_77]

We took our son on his first cruise when he turned 7 and it never occurred to us that we should take him to the casual dining area. We ate in the dining room every evening and we all enjoyed it from beginning to end. Our little boy was taught at a very early age how to behave in a dining situation; if he misbehaved, or became restless, one of us would leave with him and sit in the car. End of problem. Over the years we have received many compliments on our son's behavior in public settings, and we hope it is something he will pass along to his children.

 

It is unfortunate that parents feel they always have to entertain their children - whether driving in the car or at dinner on a cruise ship. Just my 2 cents worth.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[Leejnd4]

Just for the record, I personally wouldn't have brought my children to the dining room at age 7 with a portable DVD player. (Mine are 14 & 15 now.) But that's my choice. There are various things that I've had to do to accommodate my own special needs child, but thankfully that's not one of them. We did start out early bringing our kids to fine restaurants, and always practiced total courtesy to other diners by simply removing them if they became in any way disruptive. By the time they were 7, they were pretty much restaurant-safe.

 

However, those were OUR parental choices, which we made because it was important to us to be able to take our children out to nice restaurants relatively young. That may not be important to other families -- or, perhaps their financial situation makes frequently taking the kids out to nice restaurants not feasible. Hence, this family may have felt that their 7-yr-old may not have been exposed to this type of environment enough for them to feel confident she wouldn't be disruptive to other diners...so they chose to give her something that they knew would keep her happy, while allowing everyone to enjoy themselves.

 

I'm hoping that you are seeing the point that it's just unkind to be so judgemental of others when you don't know the whole story. I try not to waste my mental energy searching for others to look askance at. Especially when I'm on vacation!

 

LeeAnne

[Cruising89143]

Um...methinks you quoted the wrong post...go read mine, your response to it has nothing to do with what I wrote. I said nothing about you not being a happy person, nor did I say a thing about how raising kids is "different" today. Nor would I. Not my style.

 

I believe that my comments were valid. If you quote me, you might want to respond to something I actually said.

 

LeeAnne

 

Sorry I did quote the wrong poster.

[Leejnd4]

Sorry I did quote the wrong poster.

Apology accepted. :)

 

LeeAnne