Cruise Docs with Kids...

[kingsrx]

We are on a Med Cruise next month and taking my daughter (biological daughter) with us. We have passports but we have a few questions for being out of the country.

 

Since I was remarried since DD was born, are they going to question that I am her biological parent? Are they going to request a document from her *real* parents? I am sure I am not the only with a different last name from my daughter, but it bothers me because once we get out of the country then I have no way to get anything, but I should have every right as her mother to bring her and should not need extra documentation.

 

Any thoughts are appreciated

[2Cruise4Ever]

Since she has a passport, the question of her biological relation to you is already been solved by the US Government when they issued the passport. They won't question whether or not you are her mother. But, they will have questions about her biological father. Is he still around? You'll need to get a notarized letter from him giving his permission to you to take her out of the country. This is something most (if not all) of the cruiselines do in order to reduce the number of parental abductions. I imagine airlines require the same thing (but I don't know that for sure). Call the cruise line and airline immediately to see what documentation is required because they may not let you get on the plane or ship without it.

 

Happy Sailing!

[lil dolphin lover]

I just booked my first cruise and I was very surprised to find out that you have to have a notarized consent form from the absent parent. I agree with you. I booked and paid for our cruise and then found out about this "notarized letter", well I have had no contact with my childrens biological father in over 10 years. It really bothered me that he knows nothing about his children, but I have to have his permission to take my own children on vacation. Well after looking for him for a few weeks, I finally find him and he refuses to sign the letter. After several arguments and pleading with his mother, she was able to get him to sign. I hope your ex is a better person than mine. I don't mean to scare you , I just wanted to warn you incase you need time to straighten things out. By the time I got his signature we did not have time to get passports, so I will have to take birth certificates and all of that. I hope we don't run in to more problems because we don't have passports.

Good luck!

 

[Onessa]

If you do not have full legal custody of your minor children, now is the time to do it. Yes, it will make travel easier and hope that that is the only time you need it. If you do not have full legal custody, the child's other biological parent has rights (even if they don't excercise any of the responsibilties that should go with those rights).

 

This means:

1) if you die, the biological parent's rights will need to be cleared up. Even if your will stipulates your wishes for that child's guardianship, the other biological parent can challenge those wishes. The financial arrangements you made for your child will similarly be jeopordized.

2) if your child inherits (or otherwise aqcuires) property while still a minor, your ability to manage that property could be challenged by the other biological parent. The other parent again could be required to "sign off" on arrangments in reference to this property.

3) if your child faces a medical issue, your ability to make medical decisions for that child could be challenged. If both you and your child are injured in an accident and you were not able to make decisions, it would fall to the other biological parent to make those decisions for your child.

 

In short, invest the money in having this matter resolved legally now. If you have to give up your vacation this year to be able to afford it, do it. It will make future trips easier and give you piece of mind

 

You don't want a low-life absentee biological parent coming back to haunt your family. I've known cases where a long absent parent "finds" religion and challenges the cancer treatments that were saving his daughter's life as being immoral (the medical treatments did continue, but the added stress was not needed). I've seen family property lost to legal fees when grandparents left it to a child whose estranged mother just wanted to make her ex-husband's life miserable - yes the "won" but the property was sold to cover the legal fees incurred (not to mention that after the acrimony, NO ONE wanted to see the property again!)

[rgnok]

If you do not have full legal custody, the child's other biological parent has rights (even if they don't excercise any of the responsibilties that should go with those rights).

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but the other parent still has rights even IF you have full legal custody. Full custody is not the same as termination of parental rights. In fact, termination of parental rights is much more extreme and, if contested, more difficult to achieve.

 

You can (and MANY people do) have "full legal custody" but the other parent still has visitation rights. It is for this sort of thing that the absent parent permission is required -- just because you have custody, the odds are the other parent has COURT ORDERED visitation rights. You COULD (it is sad, but it does happen) be taking the child out of the country with the intention of not coming back and denying the absent parent those court ordered rights.

 

This has to do with parental RIGHTS, not custody, and they are NOT the same thing!

 

Now, this being said -- yes, it can be a real pain to get written permission from an absent parent and I agree that it is a shame to have to ask for it from a parent that has nothing to do with his or her child. But the poor check-in person at the cruise terminal or airport has no way of knowing what your situation is . . . they only see a child traveling out of the country with one parent.

 

And finally -- I would be nervous about traveling without such a document if needed, BUT I've heard an awful lot of people say they were never asked for it, even when had been told they would need it.

[Arubalisa]

Just 2 cents about a situation in which we were in.

 

Traveled on a 10 night cruise the end of 2004. Our foster daughter had come to live with us in September. The Division of Family Services, who at that time had custody of the child, asked the birth mother for permission for us to take the child out of the country. The bmom said "no".

 

DFCS went to the judge who was overseeing the mother's "case plan" (the case plan is determined by the judge after the child is removed from the parental home- there is no known father). The judge issued a court order which stated HE gave permission under his jurisdiction in the case for the child to be taken out of the county.

 

Everyone went through a tremendous amount of trouble jumping through hoops, not to mention the stress. Dh and I traveling with a minor child with a different last name, were never once asked to prove any association or even residency. Of course if we hadn't done this :eek: , we would have been asked for it. Better safe than sorry.

 

BTW, she became our daughter officially on September 12, 2005. The first thing she wanted to do after leaving the courthouse? Go and celebrate?? No go to apply for her passport!!! :D She adores her new passport with her "new" name.

[rgnok]

Bless you, arubalisa, for being a foster parent!!

 

Your story follows my point that the issue is RIGHTS, not custody - in your case, even though family services had custody, the mother still had rights and it took a judge's order to circumvent those rights.

 

And yours echoes what I've often heard, as far as not being asked for anything. But, just like you, if my situation meant that I might be asked, I'd sure be nervous traveling without some document I might need.

[FPP777]

The title might not fit your problem, but you can find some good information on this website. Check out the FAQ section.

 

 

http://www.singleparenttravel.net/

[lledman]

To obtain her passport, didn't you need to have her birth certificate and both parents present when you applied?

[rgnok]

To obtain her passport, didn't you need to have her birth certificate and both parents present when you applied?

 

That's a common thought -- "Since my ex had to be there or give notarized permission for our child to get a passport, I shouldn't need permission again now".

 

The problem is -- just because an absent parent gave permission to get a passport, that parent did not give permission for this particular trip. In fact, since kids passports are good for either 10 or 5 years (depending on the age of the child), a whole lot might have changed in the family situation since the child got the passport. So a passport doesn't mean permission from an absent parent.

[Arubalisa]

To obtain her passport, didn't you need to have her birth certificate and both parents present when you applied?

The US State Dept. accepts Adoption decrees in lieu of new birth certificates. We submitted her "old" birth certificate and the adoption decree. Along of course with our own ID's and passports proving we were the people listed on the adoption decree.

 

Here in Georgia the new birth certificate with the name of dh and myself was issued within 4 weeks. The old birth certificate is locked away at the state capitol with the rest of her case file and can only be opened at the request of the child upon turning 18. The judge stated to dd that she is entitled to this information at the adoption hearing or of course medical emergencies.

[Arubalisa]

If you do not have full legal custody of your minor children, now is the time to do it. Yes, it will make travel easier and hope that that is the only time you need it. If you do not have full legal custody, the child's other biological parent has rights (even if they don't excercise any of the responsibilties that should go with those rights).

 

This means:

1) if you die, the biological parent's rights will need to be cleared up. Even if your will stipulates your wishes for that child's guardianship, the other biological parent can challenge those wishes. The financial arrangements you made for your child will similarly be jeopordized.

2) if your child inherits (or otherwise aqcuires) property while still a minor, your ability to manage that property could be challenged by the other biological parent. The other parent again could be required to "sign off" on arrangments in reference to this property.

3) if your child faces a medical issue, your ability to make medical decisions for that child could be challenged. If both you and your child are injured in an accident and you were not able to make decisions, it would fall to the other biological parent to make those decisions for your child.

 

In short, invest the money in having this matter resolved legally now. If you have to give up your vacation this year to be able to afford it, do it. It will make future trips easier and give you piece of mind

 

You don't want a low-life absentee biological parent coming back to haunt your family. I've known cases where a long absent parent "finds" religion and challenges the cancer treatments that were saving his daughter's life as being immoral (the medical treatments did continue, but the added stress was not needed). I've seen family property lost to legal fees when grandparents left it to a child whose estranged mother just wanted to make her ex-husband's life miserable - yes the "won" but the property was sold to cover the legal fees incurred (not to mention that after the acrimony, NO ONE wanted to see the property again!)

I cannot tell you how much I agree with this. If only for the legal considerations, it is very very important in US society today to have parental custody and parental rights spelled out in black and white and sometimes severed completely. If it is not taken care of now it is capable of making your life very very miserable.

 

Dh and I had a horrible roller coaster ride with our adoption. Birth parents have equal rights unless proved otherwise and the government through our tax $$$ gives a huge amount of aid, including a lawyer for everything but a state appeal, to birth parents who need to get on track with their lives and parenting skills. They are helped every step of the way...told to "do this, this and this". Someone holds their hand to walk them through the entire process. They are given all the necessary tools they need to become successful parents.

 

Here in GA, the law says the state must file termination of parental rights if they have not fulfilled their case plan at the end of 18 months. A big beef for me, our child lingered in foster care for over 2 years and 3 foster homes before termination was ever even filed. With extensions on court dates, termination was not even heard for another 3 months. Then as in many cases, the birth parent finally "attempts to make an effort". The natural parent always receives the benefit of the doubt. Another 3 months extension. This again extends the process since the court then gives more leeway so that there are no grounds for appeal once the termination takes place. In our case, the judge, yes there is a trial where lawyers from both sides present their cases why the child should or should not remain in the custody of the birth parent, after 10 hours in court, stated, "if I had to make a decision today, I would grant the termination, but since by law I have an additional 30 days, I am going to think about it some more. From what we were told this was to review the case with a fine tooth comb to weed out any possible case for appeal. <<<sorry for venting, I just have an issue with the "rights of children", which sometimes don't seem like much-- I am stepping off my soap box and crawling back into my hole now>>>

[goldminer1951]

It is always a good idea to have that notarized travel authorization letter for your specific trip. It could be used to avoid a travel delay that might cause a missed ship. I get them and bring them along, but have never been asked to show one in Mexico, Italy, Turkey or Greece (I'm the biological father traveling with teenage DD and DS). I would hate to be asked for one in Istanbul and not have one :eek: .

 

'Miner

 

PS: Lisa- Nice thing, adopting your daughter! I was an orphan long ago.

[Caligirl75]

I would check with your cruise line to see what the requirements are. I can say that I went on Carnival's Conquest last Sept with my daughter. She has a different last name than me, and we look completely different from each other. In fact, I have been asked several times if she is adopted. I traveled with her passport and a copy of her birth certificate. I only needed her passport when we boarded the ship. At the ports (Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel) we only needed our sail and sign card to board the ship. When we got home and passed through customs we showed our passports and were on our way. I did not have a notorized letter from her father because he would not have given me one. They do not inforce this on the cruise ships. Flying out of the country is different though. I know it's better to be safe, but many times it is just not possible to get permission from the other parent. I would definitely not go to court in order to get authorization. First of all, it can take several months to get on the docket, and it is very costly. I am going on RCCL this summer and will handle it the same way. I refuse to let my ex ruin my vacations for the next 11 years and prevent my daughter from seeing the world.