Does anyone who has little ones at home feel guilty for not taking them with?

[Genessa]

[quote name='trippymood']I want to say thanks to Genessa and MaryPoppinz. You both made me feel a little better. At least I know I will probably have a melt down also.:o Casshew, I plan on bringing him tons of cool things. He wants some ice from the icebergs and he wants a Del Sol T-shirt. (the ones that change color in the sunlight) The shirt I know I can do but the ice I've got to get a little creative for that. But I know I'll figure something out. Thanks again!!![/QUOTE]

Don't forget, you can probably call him and you can also send him e-mail.

We set up a separate screen name just for when we cruise, so we can keep in touch quickly, without going through other mail.

The cruise we went on when ds turned 5, was back in the days of no tv in staterooms, who knew what a computer was, ship to shore phones were probably thousands to make a call, and cell phones, if they existed, were huge boxes ;).

Enjoy your cruise!

[chris2597]

[quote name='Genessa']Our oldest turned 5 while we were on our first cruise. I was planning on "pretending" it was his birthday the day we got back and have cake that night, by my m-i-l who was baby-sitting, had told him and the first words out of his mouth when he saw us on the pier were - "you missed my birthday".
He speedily recovered when he saw the great souvenirs we brought him![/QUOTE]


I chuckled when I read this post. My dh and I were in Hawaii when our oldest turned 16....My dh went on business and I was offered the opportunity to go with him. We celebrated dd's b day when we got back but she still occasionally brings it up 11 yrs later....jokingly....I tell, "I guess I scarred you for life"....Would I go again and celebrate the b day before or after the trip.....YES!!

[RickSue]

Yes we did when our kids were little. It just about rips your heart out BUT it's good for them and it's good for you and for your marriage to get out alone sometimes and have some fun like you used to -- Rekindle that stuff that's been snuffed out by the constant demands of parenthood. My kids are now 20 and 13 and I can tell you from experience that it pays to work hard keeping your relationship with your husband fresh and connected. We celebrated our 24th anniversary yesterday so maybe I know a little about what I'm saying. :D Of course my husband had to fight with me to leave the kids when they were little too, I can still remember that feeling.... Ah well, it also helps when they are with Grandma and Grandpa and you don't have to worry about them so much. They will be spoiled rotten and also form a solid relationship with their grandparents. It's a WIN-WIN!! :p

[meded]

Your children may surprise you...I felt badly about leaving our 4-year-old and 2-year-old when my husband and I went on a week-long cruise a few months ago. However, when we got home, our 4-year-old wistfully watched his grandparents leave and asked, "When can I stay with them again?" In the end, we had a wonderful vacation and our children did too, all courtesy of two very generous grandparents.

[mike1117]

[quote name='ozziecruisers']We have the most wonderful family 3 girls. Aged 4years & twins 2.5years (Yes, that is 3 children in 18 months) and we are leaving them behind in Australia for 4 weeks ( yes it is not a typing error 4 weeks ) with their wonderful grandparents who just love having the the girls around them & likewise for the girls.[/quote]

ozziecruisers - You deserve a 4 week vacation alone with your DH as the mother of 2.5 year old twins and a 4 year old. I've got 27 month old twin boys at home and can't imagine throwing a third child in the mix right now. Enjoy your vacation and recharge your batteries. You will be a better parent when you come back.

(If you didn't live on the other side of the globe I'd have my DW arrange a play date with your twins and mine!)

[mommy2jays]

My husband and I are going on our 4th cruise without our kids, on the Crown in August. We have a 4.5 yr old and a 3 yr old. Our kids love spending the week at my parents' house, they live out of town and we have to bring them on a 6 hour drive to get there. When we went to visit them last time, my 4.5 yr old informed us that she wanted us to go on a cruise! They love how much attention they get, which makes it easier on us when we leave.

One trick that we always do when we go away on our own is that we buy special gifts for them before we go away, and hide the gifts. That way we're not scrambling to find them something in remote carribean islands, and what we give them when we get back is thoughtful (and sitting there waiting when we return). Just an idea....:)

[Genessa]

[quote name='chris2597']I chuckled when I read this post. My dh and I were in Hawaii when our oldest turned 16....My dh went on business and I was offered the opportunity to go with him. We celebrated dd's b day when we got back but she still occasionally brings it up 11 yrs later....jokingly....I tell, "I guess I scarred you for life"....Would I go again and celebrate the b day before or after the trip.....YES!![/QUOTE]

I have to say, it's one of the few things he doesn't "throw" up in my face, so I think he forgot about it - so much for scarring for life ;) -he's 29 now.
Although, he does occasionally remind us how we ruined his perfect life by preventing him from being an "only" by making him the older brother.

[Millygirl]

[quote name='Oppgaard']When I read this post, I thought it referred to our FURRY little ones. Since we have no children our dogs are our little ones.

Yes, we do feel a little guilty about leaving them so often (we cruise 4-5 times a year) but we always leave them at home with a sitter and never in a kennel.[/quote]

US TOO! No little people, just little pets. I don't feel any guilt, but I MISS them and worry that they'll miss us. Someone once told me that animals have no sense of time. Does that mean a week to us is like a minute to them or like a year? I wish I knew. Anyways, we miss our "kids" very much when we're away. :(

[JLC@SD]

[quote name='K&M2CRUZ']My husband and I are going to Alaska for the second time in August and are leaving the kids home with Grandma and PaPa. I sometimes feel guilty for not taking them, but I feel it is a lot of money to spend on something they may not remember. It is alway's nice to get away with hubby alone for a week:D[/quote]
If your kids Grandma and PaPa are as good with your kids as my grandparents were with my brothers, sister and me......staying withGrandma and PaPa will be a vacation.........especially if they get all the attention that we got......:D

[Walterswife]

Will you feel guilty? Probably so. Should you feel guilty? Probably not. It sounds like you are great parents. But honestly, parents do deserve some time together to renew, reflect and replenish. I have been a divorce lawyer for almost three decades and I encourage couples to vacation as couples so that they can avoid having to use my services.

Also, as a soon-to-be grandmother of my first granddaughter, we need "bonding time" with our grandchildren. So we say take all of the vacations that you want so that we will have the opportunity to spoil the little ones rotten while you are gone!:)

Have a great trip. Your children will be waiting for you when you return; they will enjoy Alaska when they are older.

[chris2597]

I love this thread...We are leaving on vacation in a few days, going to the beach in Fla, we live in Texas..We will be gone 6 days..It will be dh, dd17, and me.....DS 20 is staying home (he doesnt live with us, lives with his 87 yr old granny....he watches out for her and she tattles on him)....I am feeling so much guilt about leaving him out of this vacation....I am sure he would decline if invited..He hates going away and is miserable...unlike the rest of the family that relishes vacation time....so what is wrong with me?? Maybe it is the realization that another page has turned in the book..DD28 is married, DS 20 is living away from home,(even though we still pay for things) and DD17 will be going off to college after next year and then it will be dh and me....YIKES!! We had wonderful yearly family vacations (other than DS resisting the vacation)....and dh and I usually took a few days to a week trip for us.....Wow....where do the years go??

[HockeyBoysMom]

My dh and I are going to Alaska this July for our tenth anniversary (got our documents today!) and we are leaving our 5 year old with his godparents. My mom lives out of state and my dad and wife still have their own kids at home (I am the oldest of 5 by quite a bit) so grandparents are quite as ready an option.

I know I am going to feel guilty sometimes and miss him horribly, but I am also looking forward to the time alone with my hubby. We don't spend nearly enough time together alone and I know this time will be good for us. This is the first time we have vacationed alone. Our son is looking forward to his time with his cousins and even though he sometimes asks if he can go with us, he says he knows this is a special mommy and daddy vacation. We haven't told him yet, but plan to before we leave that we plan to take a family vacation after the summer to Disneyland so that he has something to look forward to. We also made special plans for the weekend before and the weekend after so that he has some special time with us.

As a therapist, who often works with couples in trouble, I can tell you that driffting apart in a marriage is often the result of not connecting enough as a couple and it happens so slowly that most couples don't realize it until it is too late. It is so important to put as much into being a couple as into being parents.

[K&M2CRUZ]

Thanks to the advice from the divorce lawyer and the therapist now I have a very good excuse to go on a cruise every year with just my hubby, so our marriage can stay fresh and renewed.