My husband keeps trying to get me to cancel...

[L2J]

My sentiments exactly! This has nothing to do with a vacation and everything to do with control. I hope she takes your recommendation before she has children. Afterwards is a whole new ballgame and life is no longer so cut and dried.

 

I think several of you are full of it. Ever heard of a s**thouse lawyer?:rolleyes:

 

Duckman...sorry but MO is that counselors are about a useful as a hemmorrhoid:cool:

[AppleValleyCruisers]

I think several of you are full of it. Ever heard of a s**thouse lawyer?:rolleyes:

 

Duckman...sorry but MO is that counselors are about a useful as a hemmorrhoid:cool:

 

I've got your 6;)

[dansu]

Sorry to hear your honeymoon was so boring...you might want to rethink

that statement, or plan on travelling with a girl friend!

 

The morning after we booked or 1st cruise for our 25th Anniversay, my Hubby called me at work to express his feelings over the price, after he spent hours cruising CCL website, and found all the hidden costs. After dinner that night we went online together and for every negative, I pointed out a positive, such as Soda Card $50.00. I quickly reminded him that I preferred unsweetened ice tea with lemon rather than a soda, and if I really needed a diet coke fix, I would sneak a sip of his. I was also quick to point out I would bring some for the room, therefore only he would require the card. I went on further to tell him that I plan to bring a few bottles of wine, to be consumed privately on the balcony, in the moonlight....without the kids! Now this seemed to peak his interest, at least until a few nights ago when he heard about topless f deck,

 

See....for every negative, have a positive ready!

 

I then told him I would forgo the expensive shore excursions, and settle for the lesser priced ones, to which he quickly responded "I'm not going all the way to Panama, without transiting the canal." We now spend time time picking excursions and checking reviews....deciding which ones to go on...all of a sudden price doesn't matter.

 

Spend time together planning your trip and Bon Voyage...

...cause once the kids arrive it all theme parks and visits to granny. ;)

[L2J]

I've got your 6;)

 

Thank you Sir...would you like some Grey Poupon?:p

[Mysticks1]

Thank you Sir...would you like some Grey Poupon?:p

 

Sounds like a butler to me. AV do you want to be butled? Sorry I couldn't resist that one. :p

[AppleValleyCruisers]

Sounds like a butler to me. AV do you want to be butled? Sorry I couldn't resist that one. :p

 

No worries Donna:D Liv and I ain't like that, I swear!

 

The only one getting "butled" here is the OP, who asked for ways to get her hubby excited about the cruise but ends up with the Oprah and Dr. Phil show for the most part.:rolleyes:

[L2J]

No worries Donna:D Liv and I ain't like that, I swear!

 

The only one getting "butled" here is the OP, who asked for ways to get her hubby excited about the cruise but ends up with the Oprah and Dr. Phil show for the most part.:rolleyes:

 

:eek: No way no how...:eek: This sign reads "Einbahnstrasse"

 

No kidding AVC...no kidding *shakes head*

[petro772]

I'm getting tired of reading. Why doesn't somebody post some pictures? ;)

[dalwhitt]

Years ago, I would tell my wife that I wanted us to go on vacations - just the two of us - to get away from it all so that we could relax and have some fun.

 

She really didn't want to do it, despite the fact that many of the trips were paid by my employer.

 

I was raised to travel, driving across the family with my parents and three brothers and camping out several times.

 

On the other hand, her family never did that and were use to just staying at home.

 

Well, after not being able to convince her to do more traveling, I told her that I was going to schedule vacations for myself ... that travel was a big part of my life ... and always would be.

 

She caught the hint.

 

Thirty years later, we have been on 13 cruises, to Disney World approximately 20 times, Vegas 7 times, Lake Tahoe, Newport Beach,the Grand Canyon, and places too numerous to name.

 

Once she experienced the excitement (and the relaxation) she understood. I never have a problem getting her to go anywhere anymore.

 

Another problem may be that like a lot of men he thinks a cruise will be "boring." If that is the case, perhaps you can have him talk to men who have cruised. I know plenty of men who thought they wouldn't enjoy it, and now can't wait to book the next one.

[kryos]

I have been married 48 years; probably as happy a marriage anyone could ever have and there were many times (especially in the early years) when we totally disagreed on where and how to spend money and vacations as a matter of fact.

It's funny ... I started reading this particular thread out of curiosity and the one thing I keep coming back to is the experiences I had trying to take trips with girlfriends when I was younger. Trust me, if someone is that dead set against going ... but only goes because you badger them into it ... they WILL NOT have a good time, nor will they allow you to have a good time. You will quickly realize that you would have been better off going with someone else ... or even traveling solo. You would have had much more fun.

 

I remember wanting to go to the Jersey shore for a week back when I was maybe early 20s. I had been there lots of times before with my folks, but thought it would be fun to go with a friend. I wanted to go with this one friend of mine and she hemmed and hawed about it. I kept pushing her ... telling her that "Hey, I do things with you that I don't particularly like. Why can't you do something I want to do?" Back then I would have never even considered going on a vacation solo.

 

So, finally she broke down, put down her share of the money ... and in a not too happy mood, I might add ... and off we went. From the moment we got on the bus, she was in a foul mood ... didn't want to talk ... short, snappy answers to any questions I may have asked ... but still I figured once we got there and she started having fun, everything would be okay. Well, guess what? It wasn't okay. In fact, it went downhill from there. Once we got there, she didn't want to do anything. "Let's go to the beach," I said. "I don't feel like it," was her reply.

 

Finally, two days after we arrived, she called her sister from the motel and the next thing I know, she's packing her suitcase. Sis is driving down to pick her up. She wants to go home ... and she did. We never spoke to each other again. She was p***ed because she wasted some good money on a trip she couldn't stand beyond two days. I was mad as you know what because now I had to either stay on for five more days by myself, or go home and lose the money I spent on the trip as well.

 

Lesson learned? Don't try to force people to do things they don't want to do. If they are that determined, they won't have fun no matter how much you try to make them have fun. Worst still, they will do everything in their power to make sure you don't have fun either.

 

If I were this woman and my husband were that hesitant to take a cruise, I would talk to him about it ... and I mean REALLY talk ... and not with an attitude of trying to talk him into the trip, but rather with one of trying to find out why HE doesn't want to take it. Is it really just the money, or is he just using that as an excuse? Maybe he honestly can't see himself on a boat and doesn't even want to try. Perhaps there is something else he would prefer to do ... something that both of you can agree upon. Whatever the problem is, though, I would try to get to the bottom of it before final payment is due ... because even if she gets him to go just to please her, with the attitude he seems to have about the whole thing, I doubt either one of them is going to have a very pleasant vacation.

 

Just my two cents on the subject ...

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[VentureMan_2000]

Kryos... good post.

 

Another issue is that maybe he high anxiety about a cruise. I know a number of people who get anxiety attacts over very simple situations. He could be afraid of ships and doesn't want to admit it. My 27 year old nephew is freaked about driving and won't talk about it. Never got his licence... never tried to drive... not even once.

 

The OP is in a tough situation.

 

I say go and try to have fun. If it doesn't work out... no big deal, lesson learned.

[davesis]

It took me 23 years to get my wife on a cruise she doesn't like to fly so I told her we'd go out of NY ........she didn't like boats and the water I said the boat was a BIG boat.......lol ..... BUT the best part and maybe it will happen for you is that she Admitted to me at the table in the dining room in front of everyone that she loved the cruise and we should have done a cruise years ago!!!!!!!!! do you know what its like to get a wife to admit she was wrong ...hahahah.....Sooooooo maybe just maybe you will get the same satisfaction...... lol .........by the way she can't wait to go again !!!!!!!:D :D

[Maxax]

Here's a thing about guys....and cruises. The SHIP IS BIG!!!! And cool...its like one monsterous....sports car...or BIG, BIG TRUCK. There is soooo much just to look around at on the ship...its an exploration...just walking around the ship...and you can do that for several DAYS!!! AND...he will probably WANT to do that...so here is where you'll have to give in a bit....see most women seem to be pretty darn happy just laying beside the pool all day...and guys can do that too...some....but he will probably want to go looking around...so bear with it...and go looking around with him!

 

Also, first time out on the ocean...its kind of a throw back in time...like sailing the open seas...searching for new worlds. Albeit in the lap of luxery...but being out in the ocean...that's kind of fascinating for guys too.

 

I think you may just have to be stubborn...and force him on the ship...but once he's there....he'll get it!

 

All the other things people mentioned about trivia contests, laying by the pool, great food 24/7, lots of alcohol, lots of entertainment...etc. etc...those things are all great too...and are tons of fun. But just flat out as a guy...for me...exploring the ship, and exploring a new part of the world...(and lots of beer)...are REALLY neat things to me!

 

Oh, and my wife...is a teacher too! So we feel your pain when it comes to only certain times that you can take off. I really wish the cruise lines would understand that...and give the teachers of our country...a discount on summer time cruises!

[toz]

It's probably just angst over the expense involved. Tell him that it is a really sensible way to travel, since it is all-inclusive (except for alchohol, casino, excursions,etc.). Tell him that he will have a wonderful time and that he should stop "yo-yo"ing. Make up your (his) mind and do it.

[nealstuber]

Anatresia

 

I wanted to complement you on how well you handled the unsolicited opinions on the state of your marriage. I watched this thread unfold this morning and could not believe it. I would not have handled it as well.

 

I did have one other suggestion to help "fire-up" your husband. You could take one of the 1 or 2 day cruises to nowhere out of NYC this October! Both Carnival and NCL have party cruises scheduled. You'll either get him hooked or you'll know you don't -well before you reach your cancellation window.

 

Just don't "work on the baby" during the mini-cruise. You and DH will not get the full cruisie experience if you take it when you are six months pregnant. (Been there, done that).

[kryos]

The OP is in a tough situation.

 

I say go and try to have fun. If it doesn't work out... no big deal, lesson learned.

So true.

 

I didn't catch how long this cruise was for, but maybe a good suggestion would be to get him on a short cruise ... maybe a three-dayer ... and see how it goes. At least if he really is miserable, he might be willing to at least make the effort to have a good time knowing that the trip is only for a couple of days. And, if he loves it, they can always book another before they start in with a family.

 

But if there is a real anxiety involved with being on the water, or being on a ship, I say the simplest way around it is just to plan a different kind of vacation. Why bother trying to get someone over their fear when there really is no particular pressure to take a cruise. Try something different ... something both parties will enjoy equally. True, all of us on these boards love cruising ... but surely there are plenty of other, equally enjoyable vacation options out there. She can always do a cruise another time with a friend or family member.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[suzy1212]

Geez! All the junior counselors are really coming out of the woodwork today! The first couple of years of marriage pretty much suck. It gets better after you get used to each other. :D We've been married 28 years and I sure wouldn't want to have to go through that first couple of years again. And we managed it without internet advise, Dr. Phil, Oprah, or any of the rest of that bull#*&t! :rolleyes:

[Anatresia]

I talked to him and explained that even though he thinks its a huge splurge and doesn't want to travel at Easter, I've been looking forward to this cruise for 9 months already. It's the carrot at the end of the stick that will get me through another crappy Buffalo winter. I want to spend this time with him and experience something that we probably won't get to do again for a long time.

 

Then I showed him some of the really good replies on here. The "F" deck and the fact that the room is RIGHT there if he's feeling amorous ANY TIME OF DAY, peeked his interest.

 

He asked, "What do I get if I'm good and get excited about this cruise, too?" :) Which means he's leaning towards submission. ;) (that's said tongue-in-cheek, so please don't say I need not try to control him.)

 

He promised he will not ask me to cancel it anymore. It's in stone. :D In return, I have to give him a backrub whenever I'm talking about it and I'm to plan all the arrangements with travel/hotel and NOT discuss the cost. He doesn't want to know. (it's better this way. ;))

 

so THANK YOU!!!! Your stories have given him more to look forward to!! Enough to get him through the horrible Easter travel he's so worried about. (I've NEVER seen the Buffalo airport too busy, so I don't think he needs to worry too much.)

 

THANKS AGAIN!

[KBfromNC]

I guess I am the only reader here who identifies with the husband in this. Hi, my name is Stan, and I am cheap.

 

Fortunately my wife is not, she's a good opposite for me (after all, if we were exactly alike, one of us would not be neccesary). I know after we book a cruise, or are about to make a large purchase I need to be assured that it's a good idea. So I start throwing out the "why are we buying the china cabinet again" "do we really need to get a new car", etc.

 

quote]

 

Stan.....are you sure you arent really Ken from NC????????? If not, my husband has a clone~ ;)

[KBfromNC]

Geez! All the junior counselors are really coming out of the woodwork today! The first couple of years of marriage pretty much suck. It gets better after you get used to each other. We've been married 28 years and I sure wouldn't want to have to go through that first couple of years again. And we managed it without internet advise, Dr. Phil, Oprah, or any of the rest of that bull#*&t!

 

Suzy, you couldnt have put it any better~

I always said that first year (or two) was a flippin nightmare.....:eek:

After you get used to ech others weirdo ways, it all comes together :)

You give a REAL perspective on things ;) at least for US that is....

[Maxax]

Anatresia, that is Stellar! Just don't bend over backwards for him too far...youi guys are going to have a great time...back rubs or NOT!

[vette]

Anatresia,

 

Sound like you are getting him to see things your way :-)!

 

One other suggestion - if he is still leery about flying the Day before easter, you could fly in on Friday instead of Saturday and spend a day in your port city doing an excursion. I know you would have to get a hotel room for an extra night, but it might be worth it to lessen the anxiety.

 

My dh and I have been married for 34 years. I had always told him that I would never go on a cruise ship (you know, Titanic and Poseiden shows always scared me). But he was finally able to talk me into going and I am now addicted. We have been on 12 and will go on our 13th next month and already have our 14th planned for next year (Tahiti - Yay!). I am nervous about flying also, but to go on a cruise, I will now fly anywhere I need to. I hope your DH enjoys his first cruise as much as I did.

 

Vette

[MSseawind]

Take a girlfriend instead! (Or if the date is the biggest thing bothering him, compromise and change the date.)

[VenezuelanCruiser]

Sorry to say this people, but you guys know a lot about cruising, but doesnt know a thing about human behaviors.

 

The OP articulated a post saying that her husband is this way and thinks that way about money, and he complains about finances, and he wants to cancel, trying not to say that her dh is a CHEAP BASTARD.

 

Its a real shame that you people cant see that she is just LETTING IT OUT without arguing to her significant other, using this board as a relaxing board to pop out the weight in her shoulders about what this trip means to her and how she would love to make her husband feel the same way. I just cant believe some responses from fellow posters, GET A DIVORCE, LEAVE HIM AND GET SOMEONE ELSE. I would like to see you people if your dh/dw tells you one day, HUNNY, AS U DONT WANNA GO, IM TAKING UR BEST FRIEND WITH ME, CIAO, AND NOW THAT U HAVE A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF, WHY DONT U MAKE ME SOME COOKIES TO WHEN I GET BACK??

 

Enough about this.

 

Dear OP, if ur husband makes a big issue about MONEY, i will give u a couple of hints. For the record, im getting married next november and maybe i see life in a different way than ur dh, buy i know this will help.

 

1) Cruising is one of the cheapest ways to have a great vacation, compared to some land vacations like Sandals in the caribbean, u can find real good bargains.

 

2) All the food is included, so u dont have to spend money eating in port, if money is an issue, just go to the ship, eat and go to port again.

 

3)If ur hubby is a PENNYSAVER, im pretty sure he wont like to gamble, so casino wont be a budget leak

 

4) Cruising u have FREE TRANSPORTATION, i mean, u have paid in ur ticket the right to visit some incredible ports, u go to sleep and u will wake up in a different scenario, u dont have to pay for shore tours, u just can have a very romantic walk with ur significant other in the areas near the port, or u cant take a cab and ask for a city tour, if u take land vacations as ur honeymoon in florida, u needed to pay a taxi to get anywhere, so its the same principle here.

 

5) U have free drinks onboard (regular coffee, water, orange juice, milk) and free soft serve ice cream and frozen yogurt, no need to spend huge amounts of money in drinks

 

6) if u have your digital camera, you wont need to buy the photos taken on the ship, there u save 20$ a pic

 

If u want you can make ur cruise to cost only the cruise fare, tips, airfare and precruise hotel.

 

Have a great time and i hope ur husband reads this

[starketcher]

People think we have sooo much money to cruise once a year or so. But, they will go to the beach (gas $60), rent a house/condo ($1000 minimum, more like $1500-$2000 during the summer) for a week, buy groceries to eat ($100 minimum), eat out several times a week ($50 minimum per day=$300), probably go to a show or theme park or both ($200 minimum)....total it all up and you have paid more to sit on a beach, same place 5 hours from home.

 

You get alot more bang for the buck in a cruise. I shop around find a cheaper week, try to get a port I can drive to w/ a park&cruise package or cheap airfare, cheap transfers (rental car, ,limo, cab), I do smuggle a bit to keep the bar tab down a bit (I usually have a few charges there too), not much of a shopper unless it is a native handicraft (the rest is just tourist crap), I allow about $100 to the casino, enjoy much better shows than I typically would get on a land vacation, much better food that I would fix or go out and buy, travel to a different place...In other words, it is a good value for my money! And I am cheap, though prefer thrifty!!!!!!!!

 

On the marriage thing, I tend to lean towards an underlying problem since he keeps coming up with travel problems (no one like travel to/from as it is usually full of aggravation anyway). Been there; done that; recognize the symptoms.