Review of Carnival Glory 9/2 Eastern Caribbean (not nearly so funny as Evilgrin's!)

[PineyEsquire]

This isn’t nearly as entertaining as Evilgrin’s review of the same cruise, but I tried to be as detailed as I could be. Sorry if it’s too long and too much info! This was the first cruise for both me and DH, so I don’t really have anything to compare it to, but I’ll get as many facts as I can in!

EMBARKATION

We got there a bit later than we wanted, and it was a tad more confusing that I wanted it to be (there was a sign that said “Fun Pass à”). Well, we had completed our Fun Pass like good little children, but the sign didn’t indicate if the line was for people who needed to complete it or people who had already done it. And we couldn’t find anyone to ask. Luckily I saw someone who was already in line, with her Fun Pass in hand, so I figured that was the place for us to be. It only took us about 30 minutes from the time we got to the port until the time the photographer was snapping our first shots on the ship.

CABIN/DECK

We stayed on Deck 7 (Empress) in an inside cabin (#7304). Great, great, great location! There was nothing noisy around us, and we were in the middle of the ship. Easy to get to the stairs/elevators toward bow and aft. And Deck 7 has got to be the best location. Waiting on the elevators gets old after a day, but everything you want is either on Deck 5 (casino, clubs, Amber Palace) or Deck 9 (pools and food). Rather than waiting on the elevator, DH and I just used the stairs most of the time. I would highly recommend Deck 7 to anyone!

Our cabin stewardess, Sabina, was excellent. I think she must have tidied up our room about three times a day. We tipped her a bit extra on the first night, and she emptied our the mini-bar so we could make room for our own sodas and alcohol. She also kept our cooler stocked with ice. Yay for Sabina! Now about that alcohol. . .

ALCOHOL

DH and I don’t drink a whole lot, but the idea of a tremendous S&S card scared the bejesus out of me, so I tried to cut corners however I could (we were also paying for a wedding in St. Thomas). So I packed about a liter of vodka, a bottle of wine, a 12 pack of soda, some triple sec and a little amaretto. Since the wine and soda was allowed, I just stuck those in the cooler.

(NOTES ABOUT TAKING COOLERS—make sure it’s got no ice in it if you’re going to check it. The porter was none too happy about waiting for us to dump the ice out. And also make sure it’s got a drain valve at the bottom; DH’s cooler must be the only one I’ve ever seen with no drain valve, and it was a pain to empty it in the shower every few days).

The contraband alcohol I packed in plastic bottles inside plastic bags inside our checked luggage. I also packed some lime juice and a bunch of cranberry juice (planned on making Cosmopolitans). The cranberry juice busted (bad packaging on my part), but luckily the plastic bags saved my clothes. Other than the cranberry juice, everything I smuggled on made it there just fine. And our cabin stewardess never batted an eye at it.

I figured we could at least make screwdrivers, but I’ll be danged if I could find orange juice anywhere on board. We had to settle for fruit punch and vodka, which wasn’t bad. . .but it wasn’t a Cosmo either. We did pack two big insulated mugs that we toted around the ship a lot. Filled with desired amount of alcohol, went to Lido Deck and got fruit punch, and went on about our merry, slightly intoxicated way!

The biggest tip I have about the whole cruise is this: DO NOT OVERPACK ALCOHOL! I packed enough for the whole week for the two of us because I thought they would hold anything you bought in port until the end of the week. Nope. We bought another liter of vodka in St. Thomas (not that we needed it, but it was so cheap), put it in our bookbag, slid it through the scanner on the ship, walked right by the “Collection Table” and on up to our room. No one so much as raised an eyebrow. Same thing in St. Maarten. We got to drinking Guavaberry Coladas (damn those things are good!) and decided to buy some for friends at home. Put it in the bookbag and carried it on up to our room.

So my advice is this. . .pack enough alcohol to get you to the first port, then restock there. There’s no need to take up valuable suitcase space. I figure the worst they can do is take it. Big deal.

CRUISE DIRECTOR

Our cruise director was Mark Price. I don’t have anything to compare him to, but I thought he was fantastic. I was a bit worried about a lot of announcements (as I heard Carnival was noxious with them), but I rarely even noticed them. Maybe one or two a day. That’s all I noticed anyhow.

Anyway, we really liked Mark, very entertaining, approachable, and seemed to really enjoy his job. Another couple we met on the cruise (who had cruised many times before) said they had never seen a CD get so involved with the entertainment. I won’t ruin any surprises, but just know that Mark is in the Carnival Legends show and is hilarious!

The assistant director, I think his name was Pete, was alright. I would have been highly disappointed had he been the CD. I think I just got a bad taste for him because he always called the G-column in BINGO by saying “We’re going back into your g-string now. . .” I rolled my eyes the first time he did it; by the end of the cruise, I was looking for rotten tomatoes to hurl at him.

ENTERTAINMENT

The shows were alright, but I am rarely impressed with singing/dancing, so I may be biased. I know there were some technical difficulties in a few of the shows, and they had to stop and re-start them. I heard the magic show was corny and if you sat to the left or right of the stage, you could see exactly what was going on.

They had a few comedians (four total, I think), and for the most part, they were good. The guy they had for the first and second show was AWFUL. His jokes were so hackneyed and predictable. I actually fell asleep in his R-rated show. I forgot his name, if any of you who were on the ship remember it, please let everyone know his name so they can stay away!

But that guy was more than made up for by the second comedian, who did the third show. . .I think his name was Happy Cole. I’ve never laughed at a comedian so much (and I have a bit of a history with professional comedians). He was on the third or forth night of the cruise, and by that time, people were good and liquored up and felt free to yell stuff at him. Rather than ignore the audiences’ interaction, he improv-ed with the best of them and made their idiotic comments into some of the best punchlines ever. Big thumbs up to Happy Cole! I will go see him should he ever come this way!

CLUBS

I thought the Cinn-A-Bar piano bar was closed the first few nights, but I may have just been going in too early. Anyhow, it was alright. Very smoke-filled—more so than the other bars. The people directly around the piano seemed to be having a great time; everyone else seemed to be casual observers. I couldn’t tell if the piano player was taking requests or just playing whatever he wanted. In every piano bar I’ve ever been to, you just write your requests on a slip of paper and hand it up with a dollar or two. But I saw no slips and I heard no one asking for any songs. So it looked like he was just playing whatever he wanted. I strode up there, put a couple of dollars on the piano and asked him to play “Let’s Get It On.” He said “Marvin Gaye? I don’t play that kind of music.” Who the hell doesn’t play Marvin Gaye?! That irritated me (probably more than it should have), so I left after that.

We had a good time in Bar Blue where they had karaoke every night. There was such a great group of people in there; everyone was so supportive and having a great time. This was also where they did the Carnival Legends auditions. Karaoke spots filled up very quickly, and most nights the slots were books up within 30 minutes of the bar opening up. So if you want to sing, get there early! And Lenka, the karaoke host, was lots of fun and had the cutest accent.

If anyone's got any questions about the Carnival Legend's show, let me know. DH was Elvis!

The White Heat Dance club was pretty good. A lot bigger than I thought it would be. Plenty of room to shake it! The music varied by night.

PHOTOS

They take your pictures a lot on board. . . and the Grand Canyon is a line in the sand. I was told they pictures would go on sale on the last day, but it never happened. I waited and waited, and the pictures got harder and harder to find. They never went on sale, and it was damn near impossible to find the pictures on the last day. The only advantage there is to waiting to buy pictures is that you have more of a selection to choose from the longer you wait. But if there’s a picture you absolutely know you want, go ahead and buy it.

The Travelog does go on sale from $30 to $20. Wait until directly after the Debarkation Talk.

I was disappointed with the backgrounds for the pictures. A lot of them were cheesy—actually, most of them were. But then I don’t like styrofoam pillars and plastic roses. They need more simple, solid color backgrounds.

GAMBLING

I’m not going to be very helpful here. Neither DH nor I gamble. We don’t have some religious or social hang up; we just have bad luck at it! For the hell of it, we each played $10 worth on the slots, lost our money in about 15 minutes and left. But other people looked like they were having a good time.

FOOD/DINING

I may be the only person in maritime history to have lost weight on a cruise. It wasn’t that the food wasn’t good; it was. I’m just extraordinarily picky, and the food was really fancy for my tastes (meat and potatoes kind of gal). So I ended up shuffling the food around my plate a lot of times. But my DH, who is as unpicky as I am picky, thoroughly enjoyed everything—particularly the seafood. We ate in the Red Sail restaurant for breakfast and lunch almost every day, and in the Golden Restaurant every night.

Random notes about the food:

I did go outside of my comfort zone and ate duck, which I loved.

The plates in the Red Sail restaurant are H-O-T. Be careful.

The hot dogs and fries at the grill all the way aft on Lido are spectacular! Mmm, mmm good!

Rico, our headwaiter, and Juan, our assistant waiter were fabulous. We had a fairly light-hearted table, and our waiters were always joking around with us. Rico put on his magic mullet wig every night to perform magic tricks for us. But it wasn’t at the expense of being a great waiter. . .by the end of the cruise, he knew what we wanted to order before we said a thing. Kudos to the wait staff!

BAHAMAS

We did the Dolphin Excursion through Carnival, and I’m so glad we did. It was a bit expensive, but so worth it.

While I’m on the subject of expenses and shore excursions, let me say this. In most situations, Carnival’s pricing is probably worth it. We did our own thing in St. Thomas and St. Martin, and it wound up being a lot more expensive than I thought it would be. Taxis charge by the person, not the place. So a cabbie takes one person going from the pier to Orient Bay, and he makes $9. He takes five people to the same place, using the same amount of gas, and he makes $45. Doesn’t make any sense to me, but that’s how it is. So it wound up being $40 just for DH and me to our destinations and back in both St. Thomas and St. Martin. Add in renting whatever gear or tour you want. . . and you might find that you’re just as well off booking through Carnival.

But back to the dolphins. . .it was well worth the money! It wasn’t really a swim-with-the-dolphins experience, but much more than pet-the-dolphin-on-the-nose-one-time-just-so-you-can-say-you-played-with-a-dolphin experience. We kissed, fed, hugged, rubbed, and danced with Andy (our dolphin). DH got playfully chastised by the staff for pelvic thrusting the dolphin (he’s really white and was attempting to dance). It was a lot of fun, and they seemed to really respect the animals. The dolphins were free to take breaks and return whenever they wanted to, and the whole place was kept very clean.

They will stick it to you with pictures/video though. They are not cheap and hard to pass up.

We had about an hour and a half to kill in the Bahamas before our dolphin excursion, but in retrospect, we wished we’d stayed on the ship. Maybe we just got into a bad area, but it was really dirty (they really like their Burger King down there. . and they really like to throw the bags in the street). And it was pretty early on Sunday morning, so almost everything was closed. I would not have wanted to walk around there alone; there were some really unsavory looking characters, and I’m not usually a suspicious person.

We did walk around the straw market for a few minutes. Got a couple of souvenir t-shirts for friends and got the heck out of dodge before we could be solicited for any more drugs. If you are going to the Bahamas, have a game plan and somewhere to go! Otherwise you will be sorely disappointed.

Do the dolphins—it’s great fun!

ST. THOMAS

DH and I got married in St. Thomas, and I notified the Purser’s Desk ahead of time, so we were rushed to the front of the immigration line, and we were off the ship in less than five minutes. The first part of our day was taken up by getting married on Little Sapphire Beach (beautiful and absolutely secluded). If anyone’s thinking of doing this, let me know and I’ll give you further information. We had a wonderful time and wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Afterward, we went back to the ship, changed, had lunch on the ship, and by the time we got back off, rain was drenching the island. We bummed around the shops for a while, but if you’re not looking for liquor, jewelry, or cheap trinkets, there’s not much to buy. The rain cleared for a while, and we hopped a cab to Coki Beach (recommended to us by the preacher). We rented snorkeling equipment on the beach and had a blast. There weren’t many people there and only a few snorkeling—I suppose because of the rain. It was a bit chilly, but there were lots of fish in the water (mainly Sergeant Majors—I think) and a very cool reef to look at. There were also lockers to store your stuff in. The neighborhood is a bit seedy, but the water was beautiful.

ST. MARTIN/MAARTEN

Our favorite island, by far. We kept remarking about how beautiful it was and how much we’d like to go back. We took a cab to Orient Beach. Beautiful weather, beautiful water. Be sure to walk a bit before picking out a place to set up camp. The deals vary widely. DH and I were disappointed to find out that just 200 yards or so down the beach, there were much better deals than where we were. Look for the 2 drinks, 2 chairs, 1 umbrella signs—there were several places offering that deal. We paid more for our umbrella and chairs and didn’t get the drinks! The better deals are toward Club Orient.

We went parasailing (several places offer it, no need to schedule it beforehand). I had seen a place that offered tandem rides for $80. When I went up to the first desk, he quoted me $90, and I started to walk away, and he immediately dropped it to $80. I probably could have pressed farther had I wanted to. Parasailing was a lot of fun too. Beautiful views from way up there. The guy who took us out to the boat on the jetski damn near killed us, but the parasailing itself was great.

I was surprised at how few women were topless. . .there were really only a handful on the whole beach. At first I didn’t see anyone topless, so I asked one of the bar wenches (I don’t guess it’s PC to call someone that in this day and age, but I like the phrase) about it, and she said that it usually takes one person to start it, and then the tops start coming off. . .but I think I saw, at most, five women with their tops off. Until we got to Club Orient. . .

I’ll just say that was FUN!

DEBARKATION

I may be the only person who got off absolutely last and had no qualms about it. We checked our luggage and were the last deck to be called off, and DH had to plead with me not to stow away in a hidden compartment. Between the time we left our room, we had breakfast, hung out by the pools, and went to the library, where we both took a much needed nap.

That’s the long and. . .well, long and long of it. I’m open for questions if anyone’s got them!

[pucarter]

That was a GREAT review...especially since you're up against the literary talents of EG72...

 

Sounds like you had a wonderful time...glad your wedding cruise went so well. :D

[GreytRacer]

Great review Piney! I really enjoyed reading it and seeing how you spent your time.

 

Don't we wish we were still on board?

[Evilgrin72]

You sell yourself short - I thought that was a terrific review and I laughed a few times !

 

by the end of the cruise, I was looking for rotten tomatoes to hurl at him

 

DH got playfully chastised by the staff for pelvic thrusting the dolphin

 

Both of those lines made me laugh out loud !

 

Three tips :

 

The Orient Beach taxis are supposed to charge you less if you have more people. If you had 5+ in your cab and still got hit for $9 a piece, they ripped you off (though not much.) GF and I waited at the cab stand until 2 other couples headed to Orient came over and we got charged $6 a piece. Same going back.

 

In St. Thomas, if you walk through Havensight and make a left on the main road, then bear right at the Wendy's, there's a bus stop across the street from the K-Mart at which the "dollar rides" will stop off. Same exact vehicles as the cab/shuttles at the dock, only they charge $2 to get to Sapphire Beach. The main reason I don't do excursions is less for the cost (doing it on your own is always a little cheaper, but depending on where you're headed, sometimes it's not much) but rather to be able to come and go on our own schedule. It cost us about $60 between us to visit Cinnamon Bay and Trunk Bay and do our snorkeling (we own masks and snorkels - $14 a piece at Walmart) and we had from 12:30 to 5:00 to hang out on St. John. Last time I did an excursion to snorkel there, it cost me about $60 for myself, and by the time you get there, get instruction (no longer necessary for me,) and get in the water - we had maybe 90 minutes to snorkel tops and we were headed back.

 

There's orange juice, but you have to get it during breakfast. At lunch/dinner, you have the iced tea, lemonade, and fruit punch choices (I had a few fruit punch and vodkas myself, with a dash of lemonade to cut the sweetness), but those same machines at breakfast time kick out orange juice and "Pass-O-Guava" juice, which I assume is passionfruit/orange/guava. Both work nicely with vodka !

 

Anyway, just wamted to say congratulations on your nuptials - you're a great couple and you are a very well-spoken and charming woman. Glad you had a great time, and should we ever find ourselves on the same cruise again, we'll have to toss a few together ! :)

 

Damn - TV on in the other room is playing a Carnival commercial.. "my lover stands on......golden sands.........." Those were so much more exciting before the trip - now they make me wistful.

[pacerzfan]

Nice review, Thanks.

[dololie]

are there hair dryers in the room> Also, mini fridge. What time did you get to board. Do the waiters still dance at the end of dinner?

[massey33]

Piney -

 

Great review! We are looking at the Glory for a Christmas 2007 cruise. What were the pools like?

[poptart]

Loved your review. Thanks for sharing. Was your wedding just the two of you? No guests or friends?

Just 70 more days until our turn on the Glory. I'm really looking forward to our day in St. Martin.

[SueN0724]

Thank you so much for your WONDERFUL review. I had such a great time. My little girl fell madly in love with you two and talks about you often. I will be emailing you copies of our photos. If you go to cruise connections dot com, you can enter a contest by writing in 400 (I think) words or less, why "your group" deserves a FREE cruise. Contest ends 9/30/06. Good luck everyone.

[PineyEsquire]

You sell yourself short - I thought that was a terrific review and I laughed a few times !

 

by the end of the cruise, I was looking for rotten tomatoes to hurl at him

 

DH got playfully chastised by the staff for pelvic thrusting the dolphin

 

Both of those lines made me laugh out loud !

 

Three tips :

 

The Orient Beach taxis are supposed to charge you less if you have more people. If you had 5+ in your cab and still got hit for $9 a piece, they ripped you off (though not much.) GF and I waited at the cab stand until 2 other couples headed to Orient came over and we got charged $6 a piece. Same going back.

 

In St. Thomas, if you walk through Havensight and make a left on the main road, then bear right at the Wendy's, there's a bus stop across the street from the K-Mart at which the "dollar rides" will stop off. Same exact vehicles as the cab/shuttles at the dock, only they charge $2 to get to Sapphire Beach. The main reason I don't do excursions is less for the cost (doing it on your own is always a little cheaper, but depending on where you're headed, sometimes it's not much) but rather to be able to come and go on our own schedule. It cost us about $60 between us to visit Cinnamon Bay and Trunk Bay and do our snorkeling (we own masks and snorkels - $14 a piece at Walmart) and we had from 12:30 to 5:00 to hang out on St. John. Last time I did an excursion to snorkel there, it cost me about $60 for myself, and by the time you get there, get instruction (no longer necessary for me,) and get in the water - we had maybe 90 minutes to snorkel tops and we were headed back.

 

There's orange juice, but you have to get it during breakfast. At lunch/dinner, you have the iced tea, lemonade, and fruit punch choices (I had a few fruit punch and vodkas myself, with a dash of lemonade to cut the sweetness), but those same machines at breakfast time kick out orange juice and "Pass-O-Guava" juice, which I assume is passionfruit/orange/guava. Both work nicely with vodka !

 

Anyway, just wamted to say congratulations on your nuptials - you're a great couple and you are a very well-spoken and charming woman. Glad you had a great time, and should we ever find ourselves on the same cruise again, we'll have to toss a few together ! :)

 

Damn - TV on in the other room is playing a Carnival commercial.. "my lover stands on......golden sands.........." Those were so much more exciting before the trip - now they make me wistful.

 

Thanks for the tips. . . I hope I get to use them again very, very soon!

[PineyEsquire]

are there hair dryers in the room> Also, mini fridge. What time did you get to board. Do the waiters still dance at the end of dinner?

 

There are hairdryers in the rooms, but they are very weak. It would have taken me twice as long to dry my hair if I had used theirs.

 

Sometimes the waiters do dance sometimes. . more often, at least at my seating, they just sang.

[PineyEsquire]

Piney -

 

Great review! We are looking at the Glory for a Christmas 2007 cruise. What were the pools like?

 

The pools were pretty nice. Sometimes they were really crowded, sometimes not. I couldn't ever really figure out what made everyone go to the pools at certain times--the collective whim of humans, I suppose. The hot tub in the gym was rarely occupied.

 

One thing that took me by surprise is that the pools are filled with saltwater. Wasn't expecting that! The slide is fun, and there's usually a line, but it doesn't take long to get through. My DH swears you go much faster if you lie all the way down and lift your feet slightly. . . :rolleyes: Biggest kid I know.

[PineyEsquire]

Loved your review. Thanks for sharing. Was your wedding just the two of you? No guests or friends?

Just 70 more days until our turn on the Glory. I'm really looking forward to our day in St. Martin.

 

Yup, just the two of us, and it was perfect! We had a blast in St. Martin. . .get started on those Guavaberry Colodas at the Guavaberry Emporium early. They are wonderful!

[shandabyb]

Great Review! I leave on Saturday!

 

Can you tell me which songs are done at the Legend's Show. Please!

 

Shanda

[PineyEsquire]

James Brown--I Feel Good

Aretha Franklin--Respect

Elton John--Crocodile Rock

Britney Spears--Hit Me Baby (One More Time)

Madonna--Like a Virgin

Garth Brooks--Friends in Low Places

Ricky Martin--Livin' La Vida Loca

Gloria Estefan--Rhythm is Goin' to Get You

Elvis--Jailhouse Rock/Hound Dog

Frank Sinatra--My Way

[NCmom]

Great review--thanks for the info on the cabin selection.

 

In the inside rooms, are there sofas, loveseats or easy chairs?

 

How about a mini-fridge or cooler?

 

Thanks

[PineyEsquire]

Great review--thanks for the info on the cabin selection.

 

In the inside rooms, are there sofas, loveseats or easy chairs?

 

How about a mini-fridge or cooler?

 

Thanks

 

We stayed in an inside room. There are no sofas, loveseats, or easy chairs. The only furniture is a bed, two little nightstands, and an ottoman/stool that goes under the desk. There's no room for any other furniture. . .but we didn't mind that at all since we were out and about on the ship most of the time.

 

There is a mini-fridge. Our was locked when we got there, but I asked our room stewardess to unlock it and take all the stuff out and store it somewhere else for the week (so we could put our own stuff in!), and she was happy to do that. But I know that another guy on my cruise said his steward wouldn't store the stuff elsewhere, so the guy just stored it in one of his drawers. I guess it's up to your steward/stewardess.