Rhapsodyized, my Review

[Ottawa_cruise_man]

On the last day we passed them on to Janet from Another Planet of the CD Staff.

 

My DW says you must be an "All My Children" watcher.

 

Scotty: I'll keep an eye out for you on Yahoo Messenger.

 

Cheers,

 

Laurent

[Nauti-Lady]

Scotty, I see you made the very best of another cruise! Can't wait to read Day 3! Gosh, maybe you should keep cruising and start publishing your diaries??? Seems like you've got quite a fan club started already!:rolleyes:

[Fran Harp]

My DW says you must be an "All My Children" watcher.

 

Scotty: I'll keep an eye out for you on Yahoo Messenger.

 

Cheers,

 

Laurent

 

Shove over Laurent.....Scotty, you can message me too.....

 

franota at rogers dot com, yahoo messenger.

 

Fran in Toronto

[RoofingPrincess]

come on, Scotty, we want MORE!!

[selectone]

Day 3, Tuesday

Slept late today. Up at 7am. Eye opening paint remover and sin rolls at the Windjammer. Looking forward to another care free day at sea. Wake the folks and hit Dining Room for breakfast. Blueberry pancakes, eggs, and sausage. Be careful about asking for eggs over easy. Cook will simply, slap a chicken and serve the broken egg.

As we walk through the casino, Mom gets sucked over to a slot machine like a bug to a zapper light. "oh, I seemed to have left my purse in the room!" Yeah, how very convenient.

Dad and I decide on some relaxation in the Solarium. The jacuzzi is perfect, nice and hot. We join in with a senior couple from Temple, Tx. A really gorgeous blond arrives, who looks like she just fell out of a glamour magazine (on her head). She is staring at my chest. I’m a small guy with a rather large implanted cardio defibrillator. I try to put her at ease and tell her what it is. She asks, "you mean it works with you in the water?" (I groan a little) My new friend from Temple says, "of course, and this works in water, too" as he raises his wooden leg out of the water. Blondie lets loose with a "eeewwwww" and leaves the jacuzzi. We are laughing so hard, we’re making extra bubbles.

Lunch in the Dining Room. The hamburger is outrageously good. Ask for extra bacon and watch the waiter give the sign of the cross. No worries, I’m taking extra blood thinners this week.

Belly Flop contest. As the contestants get larger, the cheers get louder. Good thing I didn’t enter. At 130 lbs, I’d get boo’d. A good sized 400 pounder is the last contestant, and the winner. Good thing, no water left in the pool. Truthfully, I’m not attracted big fat sweaty guys, jumping. I’m in to overstuffed bikini clad girls, jumping up and down, cheering on the big fat sweaty guys. ;)

Showtime tonight, is comedian, Gary Mule Deer. Never heard of him. They introduce him with a 5 minute video of "namedropping" with Lenno and Letterman. I figure he can’t be very good if they have to sell him first. Boy, am I wrong! Extremely funny and clean for the family. This guy is a do-not-miss.

A little casino time before dinner. I just sit down at the blackjack table when my friend grabs me. "Come quick, it’s your mother!" I can just imagine, she has fallen off a stool with a broken hip. I find her with a dopey grin, next to a flashing and ringing, slot machine. JACKPOT !! Not saying how much, but her picture is up for the rest of the cruise. And, she won’t have her hands in my pockets, anymore.:D

Supper in the Dining Room. Mom is having difficulty eating with that stupid smirk on her face. Outside the window tonight is a guy and gal, tonsil tickling. How sweet! Back to the food…Caesar salad, smoked salmon, shrimp cocktail, New York strip, and scallop linguini. The scallops are excellent, but Dad has funny look. Turn around to see SAME guy, DIFFERENT girl, in a serious lip lock. Very interesting! During dessert, a wonderful chocolate creme brulee, Dad has strange look, again. Look out the window, to see same two girls shouting at each other. I can’t hear them, but I have a pretty good idea it ain’t family friendly language. Stupid guy is now, swimming with the sharks. :p

Time for Quest. Our Meet and Mingle people have grouped into a team. Our "runner" is a cruise virgin, and he really takes it "for the team", when he gets half nekkid. He is astonished, when learning that the winning prizes are trinkets. "I’m doing this for a lousy keychain??" Not to worry, we didn’t win, anyway! :(

 

Next, Day 4, Wednesday. Ocho Rios, Jamaica

[madforcruising]

ROTFLMAO

:D :D :D :D

Scotty these episodes are hilarious, I can´t wait to read more. It was a 100 day cruise hopefully;)

[SomeBeach]

Come on, don't make us wait for more! :D

[MavisMarie]

I might have to leave my grandson stranded at the bus stop if your next post doesn't get here soon. :D

[Ottawa_cruise_man]

Love it! Especially the dumb blond! That was priceless - I thought they only existed on TV!

 

So you got to have a soap opera played out in front of your table - how lucky!

 

Flourless chocolate cake.... hmmmm, never tried that, but I now have another goal in life!

 

Cheers,

 

Laurent

[Fran Harp]

Day 3, Tuesday

 

Next, Day 4, Wednesday. Ocho Rios, Jamaica

 

Scotty, my computer is going to need repair...I just get it dried out and you post another hilarious episode. I think these need to be saved and published.....an entry in the Stephen Leacock award for humour.

 

Some day you and I will be on the same ship at the same time.......:D:eek::D

 

Fran in Toronto

[Randy & Kathy]

Scotty,

Micky guided me over here to read your review, OMG, I fear that I was just a tick short of hyperventilating. It would be daring enough to read the cruise day reviews one at a time, but when I decided to wade into all three of them at once I was tempting fate (the Prudential man was about to panic also).:D We are leaving on a cruise in 24 days and I hope this review will last until I have to cram all of the things that we own into our suitcases (that is required, isn't it?) and leave for the dock. I can see that I will have to be much more observant on our future cruises because I have been missing out on too many things in the past. Keep them coming......PLEASE.:p

Randy

[AudioFilly]

My DW says you must be an "All My Children" watcher.

 

Cheers,

 

Laurent

 

Laurent: Actually I am a General Hospital fan. The nickname is theirs. The whole Cruise Director staff seem to have funny little nicknames: Janet from Another Planet, British Becky, Herky from Turkey, Dan Dan the Party Man. I don't think Skippy is called anything else. But then again is anything needed to make the name Skippy memorable?

 

Time for Quest. Our Meet and Mingle people have grouped into a team. Our "runner" is a cruise virgin, and he really takes it "for the team", when he gets half nekkid. He is astonished, when learning that the winning prizes are trinkets. "I’m doing this for a lousy keychain??" Not to worry, we didn’t win, anyway!

 

Wasn't Alan terrific? One of my favorite memories of that evening will be the sight of him dragging an unwitting female volunteer that another member of our group had found in the crowd out to the dance floor to submit her for whatever requirement they were asking for on that round. Alan was flying along, fleet of feet, and she was bent over, arm fully extended over her head stumbling along behind him, trying desparately to keep up. In later discussions we were all quite certain that had the poor hapless girl lost her footing that Alan would not have broken stride. He would have continued to drag her behind him in order to garner another point for the team. :D :eek: :D

[tkportersat]

This is by far the funniest review I have read, I love it! And yes, for those of you who have not tried it - the flourless chocolate cake is awesome!!!! When I sailed on the Rhapsody it came as part of a sampler on Thursday night, but you can request more if you want it. Thanks for making me laugh, this is great :)

[nomoreknothead]

We have 20 days b4 we sail out on the beautiful Rhapsody, and I'm loving your review! Keep it coming! I love FCC and will be asking for some on the first night!;) Thanks for the tip!

[RoofingPrincess]

Flourless chocolate cake.... hmmmm, never tried that, but I now have another goal in life!

Laurent --

I have a copy of their cookbook.

I CAN MAKE THIS!!!

It's wonderful!

No, you may not follow me home.

Cheers,

RP

 

P.S. if you buy a copy of the cookbook, maybe you could barter some skill of yours with Lori if she'll make it for you....

[selectone]

Day 4, Wednesday. Jamaica

What a beautiful morning in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. Blue water, green forests, and gleaming white houses on the hills. Postcards don’t give it justice. We decide a walking, shopping trip, will be the tour de jour. Standard Caribbean trinkets are the venue. Wind up at Margaritaville to sample the adult beverages. Meet up with Meet and Mingle friends. Good time by all. By the second margarita, Mom is telling all the girls, I’m single. Thanks, Mom. (couldn't hurt :rolleyes:)

Downtown smells funny. I mean, really really funny. There is so much "funny" smoke in the air, we have second hand giggling.

Back to Rhapsody for some late lunch. The DR is closed for lunch on port days, but Windjammer does a magnificent job in keeping the pax happy. Due to my chocoholism, the ice cream machine is definitely, in the strain mode. I get into a contest with a kid on, who can pile the highest cone. He makes a pretty good one. I stack one high enough for him to let out an "ooooh, that’s cool, mister." (Don’t mess with a pro, kid).

I decide my afternoon entertainment will be lounging at the main pool and watch for chair hogs (chogs). I am quickly blessed. I find several empty lounge chairs with a kid sitting in the middle of them. I ask, "are these being used?" "Yeah, I have to save them for my mom. But, you can have that one." A couple walks up and asks the same. Boy says, "nah, take those two." A gentleman arrives and asks, also. The kid says, "take mine, I’m leaving." I say to the kid, "your mom is gonna freak out, for giving away her chairs." "Serves her right. She won’t let me play the arcade, anymore." Half hour later, a woman arrives. "Did anyone see a boy sitting here?" I can hardly contain myself, "yeah, the deck police caught him saving chairs. They took him down to the Purser’s Desk." I didn’t know a large woman could run that fast on a wet surface. I should leave before she gets back. On my way out, I notice two lovely bikini’ites in the jacuzzi splashing each other. One girl gets her finger caught in the other’s bikini top, (accidently, I assume). It snaps open, "spilling" the goods. Enormous amount of neighboring applause. These two girls look VERY familiar!! :eek:

Headliner Showtime, featuring juggler, Ivan Pecel. Great show. Guy has great skills. Gets quite an ovation when he juggles a kid from the audience.

Supper in the Dining Room. Window dressing tonight….the cutest little girl has her face pressed against the window. I turn around and meet her face to face with a mouth full of crab salad. I open wide and show it to her. Can’t hear her scream, but she runs off quickly. Outside the dining room, as we are leaving, is the cute little girl with a very large man. Little girl is pointing at me. I smile at the giant daddy and say, "it couldn’t be me. I hate crab salad!" :D

 

Next, Day 5, Thursday in Grand Cayman

[KeyOfSea]

I really shouldn't read these at work!! I would hear about it if I spit on this computer. Not to mention how difficult it is to not LOL!! :D (too loud, anyway!)

[Ottawa_cruise_man]

You luck dog! I guess that's fate paying you back for the vapourized retinas!

 

Is it a coincidence that after walking through the funny smell in Jamaica that you pile on that much ice cream on your cone? Not likely! That's second-hand munchies, mon!:D

 

So you like to terrorize little girls, eh? I like you even more! hehe! :D

 

Keep 'em comming!

 

I bet you could write about going to the shopping mall, and it be a great read!

 

Cheers,

 

Laurent

 

P.S. Flourless chocolate cake: Never seen it. Never tasted it. Never heard of it before... that-is before reading this review. Why do I bother mentioning this titillating fact? Because I now have a craving for it! I didn't think I could crave something I've never had. Well, I'll be hunting for some on the Jewel next Feb - I just hope I don't have to share any with my tablemates! (Crap! They read this thread! :D)

[Mrsg324]

The deck police. OMG I'm ROTFLMAO, your updates are awesome

[kaymbee]

I so wish you could plan a special project to join us on the Jewel in February, Selectone.:D

[IrisF]

Cheers,

Laurent

 

P.S. Flourless chocolate cake: Never seen it. Never tasted it. Never heard of it before... that-is before reading this review. Why do I bother mentioning this titillating fact? Because I now have a craving for it! I didn't think I could crave something I've never had. Well, I'll be hunting for some on the Jewel next Feb - I just hope I don't have to share any with my tablemates! (Crap! They read this thread! :D)

 

Hi Laurent,

Googling, I found the recipe for you...

http://www.sptimes.com/2002/07/24/Taste/You_Asked_For_It__Des.shtml

If that URL is not allowed, send me an email to iris at reily dot org ENJOY!

it is supercalifragilisticexpallidocious!:D

IrisF

[Amy1118]

What a treat! I got home to find not one but two installments waiting for me. I can barely type I'm laughing so hard. And I should have known better than to drink wine and read these posts at the same time. Had to stop and clean off the monitor! :D :D :D

[Fran Harp]

Hi Laurent,

Googling, I found the recipe for you...

http://www.sptimes.com/2002/07/24/Taste/You_Asked_For_It__Des.shtml

If that URL is not allowed, send me an email to iris at reily dot org ENJOY!

it is supercalifragilisticexpallidocious!:D

IrisF

 

Iris, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! My sister is allergic to wheat, and is coming in two weeks for a visit. now I have a dessert I can make that she can eat!!!!:D

 

Fran in Toronto

[selectone]

Day 5, Thursday in Grand Cayman

Early breakfast in Windjammer to meet up with other Meet and Minglers. 15 of us have all joined together to rent a private boat to snorkel and swim with the stingrays. After a painless tender process, we are picked up in two vans and taken to a 40 tour boat. We snorkel over a reef and the guide draws out a 6 foot Moray eel, just in time to greet one our intrepid divers, face to face. I’ve never before, heard anyone scream underwater. Off we go and play with the "puppy dogs of the seas". One of the gals holds some food and is inundated by dozens of stingrays. As she freaks, I say, "think of it as a stingray massage!" We move to another location and dive for spiney lobsters and conch. Without a doubt, this is the best excursion I have ever done.

Back to the Rhapsody for lunch in the Windjammer, and my favorite mechanical device of all time. The beloved, chocolate ice cream machine. Long line of kids, trying to outdo each other for cone altitudes. I finally get there, pull the handle and am greeted with nothing more than a disgusting "phttt". EMPTY. Normally, this would be a maritime disaster, except, the machine on the opposite side is functioning well. Good thing. Someone could have suffered some serious bodily injury.

A little quiet time in the Solarium. The place is empty. Everyone is on shore. The jacuzzi is all mine. Mine, mine, mine. I am awakened by a poke in the ribs. "Are you ok?" says a young lady. "Of course, why not?" I’ll tell you why not. I have been sleeping in the hot water long enough to form more wrinkles than an Earl Shibe paint job.

Showtime with the Royal Caribbean singers and dancers, called Pure Country. Great production. Gotta hand it to these kids. Lots of talent.

This is formal night and we go to the Crown and Anchor reception. FREE BOOZE and horse dovers. Captain speaks of Rhapsody moving to the Asian market. I boo. My friends hide their faces. Afterwards, I seek out the Captain and apologize for my "boo" remark, (hollow apology). I said the whole transfer idea, sucked. Texans love this ship. (under his breath, he totally agreed).

Supper in the Dining Room. Lobster night. Escargot, more shrimp cocktail, family style salad. Dessert array of FCC and 3 other delicacies. During the meal, I sense a presence behind me. Yep, it is the cute little girl again. This time, big daddy is with her. What the heck, this is thick glass. I grasp an empty lobster tail between my teeth and show them the protruding tail. Little cute girl is doing the "eewww" and big daddy is laughing. Mom is looking for a different table.

Love and Marriage Game show tonight. Do you really want to embarrass yourself in front of a thousand people? If so, volunteer to be a couple. Otherwise, sit back and enjoy yourself. A do-not-miss event.

I take a late night stroll on the deck and greet a very pretty girl by the rail. She says, "hey, you’re kinda cute!" I say, "hey, you’re kinda drunk!" (kinda? No human should be alive with your blood alcohol level!)

 

Next, Day 6. Cozumel

[SomeBeach]

Now you are spoiling us but that's ok, keep it up!! :D