Personal DVD Players in the Dining Room

[viking30]

Some of these posts are the exact reasons why many parents are afraid to cruise with toddlers.

 

LOL, I thought the exact same thing about the crayon comments - if I gave my 14 month old a crayon he would shove it in his mouth so fast I would never see it again!

 

Toddlers this age are too young for "Manners" - give me a break!

[mechcc]

Some of these posts are the exact reasons why many parents are afraid to cruise with toddlers.

 

LOL, I thought the exact same thing about the crayon comments - if I gave my 14 month old a crayon he would shove it in his mouth so fast I would never see it again!

 

Toddlers this age are too young for "Manners" - give me a break!

 

Yes toddlers are to young for manners. But the parents are not. By all means take your toddler on a cruise. Enjoy it, but recognize that while your child is the center of your universe, they are not the center of anyone elses and there are parts of the cruise expierence that are inappropriate for a toddler. Adjust your expectations to the level of your child. There is no bad child only bad parents and no rude child only rude parents.

[CabinForFour]

We've cruised with our little ones at ages 9 months, 14 months, 2 years, and 2.5 years. We've been successful in taking along the following small toys for dinner amusement:

 

- Tiny matchbox-sized cars (the toddler-type, not the ones for older kids)

- Thomas the Tank Engine

- Small lift-the-flap board books

- A few Little People characters with small vehicle

- Small Magna-doodle

- Small (~6") push-the-beads-around-metal-tracks toys

 

I know there were more, but that's all I can think of at this time. We always took our children to dinner with us. If we weren't sitting with family, we sat alone. But we rarely had problems with either of the kids being unruly, and we removed them from the room to calm down on those few occasions when they fussed. For infants/young toddlers, we found that feeding them asmall meal in the mid-afternoon meant that they wouldn't be as hungry (and therefore, grouchy) at dinnertime. We asked our waiters to bring the kids' meals out with our appetizers so that they could start eating sooner. Both of our kids were intrigued with the bread for whatever reason, so this bought some time until the meals arrived. It's also essential to maintain a normal naptime despite the change in environment, and the few meltdowns that I do recall occurred on days when the kids had missed a nap. Finally, we took the kids to restaurants more often in the month or two preceding a cruise to allow them to adjust to that environment and sitting still for a longer period of time than is necessary when eating at home.

 

As for the DVD debate, I'd personally have to vote for the no-DVD side.

[ccturner26]

And please remember that I am not saying that I will be using a DVD player. Just curious about your thoughts on it. I have seen people do it at restaurants, never myself b/c I have never truly needed one (I am pretty lucky thus far). So no flaming...

[mechcc]

We've cruised with our little ones at ages 9 months, 14 months, 2 years, and 2.5 years. We've been successful in taking along the following small toys for dinner amusement:

 

- Tiny matchbox-sized cars (the toddler-type, not the ones for older kids)

- Thomas the Tank Engine

- Small lift-the-flap board books

- A few Little People characters with small vehicle

- Small Magna-doodle

- Small (~6") push-the-beads-around-metal-tracks toys

 

I know there were more, but that's all I can think of at this time. We always took our children to dinner with us. If we weren't sitting with family, we sat alone. But we rarely had problems with either of the kids being unruly, and we removed them from the room to calm down on those few occasions when they fussed. For infants/young toddlers, we found that feeding them asmall meal in the mid-afternoon meant that they wouldn't be as hungry (and therefore, grouchy) at dinnertime. We asked our waiters to bring the kids' meals out with our appetizers so that they could start eating sooner. Both of our kids were intrigued with the bread for whatever reason, so this bought some time until the meals arrived. It's also essential to maintain a normal naptime despite the change in environment, and the few meltdowns that I do recall occurred on days when the kids had missed a nap. Finally, we took the kids to restaurants more often in the month or two preceding a cruise to allow them to adjust to that environment and sitting still for a longer period of time than is necessary when eating at home.

 

As for the DVD debate, I'd personally have to vote for the no-DVD side.

 

Makes sense to take small toys and introduce eating in restaurants prior to cruising. When my kids were small, I carried crackers in my purse. And when son had first job as a waiter - told him to bring crackers to a table with a small child right away! Small children sit at table and expect to eat right now! Normal. But interaction between parents and children during these experiences is also required as that develops small talk and polietness. More manners. DVD's in no way encourage those remarkable moments between parents and children. And those moments are so precious.

[Beffy1167]

Yes toddlers are to young for manners.

 

As the mother of a 17-month-old child, I absolutely can NOT agree with this statement! I've often said to my son, "That's not nice manners," when he does something inappropriate! (Like blowing "raspberries" when he had a mouth full of cereal--even at 6 months old.) If we don't start using "manners" language now, how can I expect him to learn appropriate behavior later?

He stopped blowing those raspberries full of cereal after hearing a firm "No," reinforced by the "nice manners" comment. Do I think the comment regarding manners was what worked? Nope. I suspect it was the "NO" that was effective, but I also believe in teaching etiquette early!

Having said that, I will also say that my little guy would also eat crayons! We don't own (nor do we intend to purchase) a portable DVD player; he's happy with small toys! And we can put a variety of them into the diaper bag so that, if he gets bored with one, voila! out comes another.

[Dawniepoo]

He is 15 months old. He EATS crayons right now.

 

I was thinking the same thing!

[bmgaritty]

Ok, since I am the original poster and am now seeing all of this...

First of all, I am curious, I can see people saying it is rude to possibly use this in the dining room. That is fine. But those of you that are talking of manners and crayons...that is plain crazy. He is 15 months old. He EATS crayons right now. The DoodlePro sometimes becomes a hazard (and really the age it is geared to is higher than his age). He has limited vocabulary so manners, kind of a moot point right now. I do agree, if he gets out of hand, in eating at the buffet. And obviously will be verifying where we are seated. I am hoping RCCL has a little sense as to who to seat us with and who not to.

 

Beyond this, tell me, those who are against this (and trust me, I do understand some of your reasons), do you actually have children? I am not asking to be a smarty-pants but honestly, I want to know where you are coming from.

 

My daughter used/still uses a doodle pro. She was 12 months when she recieved it - and at 3.5 she still uses it. It isn't a hazard if you monitor your child. My daughter used crayons at 12 months also. Did she try to eat them? Yes, but if shown she would color (scribble on paper) Just have to WATCH them. She did try to eat them until 2.5 - the solution is watching and working with your child - not ignoring them thru dinner.

 

Yes, I do have a child and I think a DVD player in the dining room is completely inapropriate. I think its appropriate for long car rides, planes etc. its a godsend!

[Arubalisa]

Lisa:

 

I am curious, you say that your children don't eat with their hands? So did you basically feed them until they got to the "I can manage a fork on my own w/o stabbing myseif in the eye or throwing food all over me" stage? Seriously, I am curious. I know some kids do that early. I am jsut just not ready to attempt that yet.

Sorry I cannot answer your question regarding the eating habits of our daughter at a young age. :( She came to live with us as a foster child at the age of 8 and went on her first vacation (a cruise) 3 months later. Having been raised in a home where she had been neglected enough that she was taken away from her drug addicted mother (there is no father), we were amazed at how good her manners were. Not what would be expected of an 8 year old, but good enough to get by. Then again we had another foster child who thought nothing of picking up a piece of roast beef in gravy off her plate and eating that with her hands. :eek:

 

She does has Asperger's Syndrome, high functioning Autism, but does not get a "free pass" at the dinner table (or that much else for that matter :) ). Last night at home for dinner we had mussels steamed in butter, wine and garlic, shrimp cocktail and baked stuffed clams. A good example of what I was referring to...shrimp cocktail okay as a finger food at home for many of us, but we need her to use the fork at home so she remembers how to eat this food in a restaurant. We have also taught her that large shrimp for her little mouth should be cut in half not ripped like a caveman. :D She also did great removing the mussels from the shell with her fork and of course the stuffed clams.

[Sandyone]

I haven't weighed in, yet, but I do have kids...5 of them, ages nearly 12 to nearly 2.

 

Manners training starts from the get go, but don't expect a toddler to have good ones. Plan on being at the dining table for 10 minutes or so. THen you or your husband will probably have to head out with the little one. That's just the nature of parenting.

 

Maggie is right on the DVD player and how it cuts out communication. We dont' need to be chatting at/with our toddlers all of the time, but they just tune everything out when the tv is on. That's not good for them or us (even if it gives us a much welcome respite).

 

I wouldn't be offended by a kid with a DVD player, but I also don't think it's appropriate. I just don't offend too easily. An autistic kid? That's another story.

 

For 'regular' kids, I don't subscribe to "as long as they're quiet, it doesn't matter what's keeping them busy". They should experience the experience in it's fullest sense...at their own level.

 

Go. Have fun. Be considerate of others. Be reasonable and understanding if others aren't so reasonable.

[Arubalisa]

I just don't offend too easily. An autistic kid? That's another story.

Please tell me that you did not mean for it to "sound" like a child with Asperger's would offend you?

 

If I had a low functioning Autistic child I would never dream of taking them on a vacation, cruise, resort or otherwise. I know other people would be offended by some of the behaviors displayed and the the child would be disruptive.

[Dawniepoo]

I know she did not mean that. She meant a dvd for an autistic child is not offensive.

[dolphins76]

I have 3 kids and I think using a dvd player in the dining room is just rude. I would never allow my children to do that....reguardless of their age.

 

 

Jayme

[bmgaritty]

OK Lisa - I want to come to your house for dinner! Mussels, clams, and shrimp! mmm...mmm....good

[Kerry's Girls]

Sometimes being a parent means that we can't always do what we want. Taking a 15 month old on a cruise would be a challange and may mean eating in the Lido versus a long drawn out dinner in the dining room. If you are on a line that offers a private babysitter then opt for that a few nights. Most 15 month olds can not sit still and be quiet at a dinner table for any longer then 5 minutes regardless of how many crayons. DVD's are to distracting and large and most 15 month olds will sing, clap and dance to the music. Just realize that as a parent you need to adjust your wants in favor of what is best for your child. Forcing that young of a child to sit through a 2 hour dinner is totally unfair to your child.

 

On Princess, families with children are seated either alone or with another family. The waiters are wonderful about bringing the food out all together so it's not a two-hour experience the way it is with a table of adults. At the first seating on our cruise last month, the back corner of the dining room was all tables with children so the waiters were on the same schedule with the tables they were assigned - it was a great system.

 

My opinion is that I wouldn't bring a DVD player to the dining room. My twins cruised at 13 months and I brought silent toys to attach to the high chairs while we ate. Then, last month at 21 months, I brought them each a book and a new little toy (the "happy meal" type) each night at dinner. Princess also provided crayons and a menu to color, but I'd bring my own just in case. The girls learned to place the napkin in their lap and keep their voices down, and we were able to get to dessert most every night before they'd had too much and we needed to leave. The head waiter told me they appreciate children being taught manners in the dining room, but he hated when parents expected their children to handle it like adults with no diversions.

 

Best,

Mia

[kruisecat]

[quote name='Arubalisa'][COLOR=navy]Please tell me that you did not mean for it to "sound" like a child with Asperger's would offend you?

If I had a low functioning Autistic child I would never dream of taking them on a vacation, cruise, resort or otherwise. I know other people would be offended by some of the behaviors displayed and the the child would be disruptive.[/COLOR][/quote]

I totally read that as meaning that the dvd would be OK for an autistic child.

PS> congratulations on being a wonderful person!! It definitely takes a special person to take on the challenge you have, I commend you on it :D

[Cruise_baby]

I am in no way saying that I would bring a DVD player into the dining room, but if I wanted to, I don't see how it is anyone's business.
If a child has earphones on, how is that in any way a bother to anyone? I have two children, and yes, they are expected to be well behaved in a restaurant. I bring along toys for them to play with at their seats, and try to get their food quick to keep them busy.
I just resent the fact that I am expected to eat in the Windjammer because I have children with me.
If the children are quiet and behaved, it is no one's business where we eat!

[viking30]

This is COMPLETELY off the subject, but I just had to share htis - The comment about the bread keeping the children happy made me think of a very funny memory - on our last cruise our daughter had just turned 3, and we were a little nervous about how she would do in the dining room. She was fine - mainly because she was OBSESSED with the bread and the pats of butter. It got to the point where I was worried she was going to make herself sick because she would just sit and butter pieces of bread for what seemed like hours at a time! Finally, after letting her eat a roll or two we started to hide the butter and told her "all gone."
Our assistant waiter seemed to be new and wanting to do all the right things, so as soon as the butter dish disappeared from the table (we had a table against the window and would hide it on the window ledge out of her sight) he would run and get another butter dish and put it on the table! Then, she would grab a pat and it would start all over again.
This was an 11 night cruise. On the last night of the cruise, we followed our typical routine of hiding the butter dish after she ate a bunch, and sure enough like 2 minutes later I see the assistant waiter come marching towards us with a full butter dish out of the corner of my eye. Then, from the opposite direction comes our main waiter (very experienced) and he karate chopped the assistant waiter's arm and the butter dish went flying in the air with pats of butter all over the place. As he did this he yelled in his whatever accent "THEY DON'T WANT ANYMORE BUTTER! WHY CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS?"
My husband I were shaking trying not to laugh out loud. It was so funny.

[caribbean dreams]

I know how you feel, i also have a niece obsessed with butter pats, took her to dinner one night and it was the same senario.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Okay, how many of you who are complaining about the DVD player in the dining room are also the parents who gab away on the cell phone in front of your kids while in the car, in restaurants, in the market while shopping, etc.? Is it any wonder that little kids feel non-engaged while in public?

BTW, we don't have a portable DVD player. But we do watch many movies on the in-cabin tv while settling down at night.

[caribbean dreams]

[INDENT][quote=Cruisin' Chick]Okay, how many of you who are complaining about the DVD player in the dining room are also the parents who gab away on the cell phone in front of your kids while in the car, in restaurants, in the market while shopping[/quote]

No way , that is one of my pet peeves, i think it is very rude to gab on the cell while you are at the register paying, I live right next to a stop sign and i watch everyday as people blow through the stop sign while talking on their cell.
[/INDENT]

[bplazo]

I am sure the parents that think that a dvd player at a dinner table is ok or the ones that are gabbing away on their cell phones.

[bmgaritty]

[quote name='bplazo']I am sure the parents that think that a dvd player at a dinner table is ok or the ones that are gabbing away on their cell phones.[/quote]

You are right about that one! :D

[Arubalisa]

[quote name='bmgaritty']You are right about that one! :D[/quote]
[COLOR=navy]I agree also. There is a cell phone in my purse which is never turned on. In fact I could not even tell you the phone number if you held a gun to my head. Just have it in case of an emergency. :cool: [/COLOR]

[Arubalisa]

[quote name='bmgaritty']OK Lisa - I want to come to your house for dinner! Mussels, clams, and shrimp! mmm...mmm....good[/quote]
[COLOR=navy]You REALLY do not want to know then that DH is an amateur gourmet cook AND does ALL the cooking AND grocery shopping :D :D :D [/COLOR]
[COLOR=navy]Ladies he is worth a lot on the open market, but not for sale at any price :D [/COLOR]