Personal DVD Players in the Dining Room

[on board]

[quote name='bepsf'][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4]And that's the problem right there folks.
If 15 months is too young to begin teaching manners, when is it right to begin?
5 years old?* 15 years old?

You have to start teaching them what's expected when they're young - that means that we're all sitting together for dinner quietly.* If 2 hours is too long, then Mommy and Daddy need to adjust what's do-able in their lives: *ie: *dine in the Lido or hire a stewardess/waitress to babysit - not bring "Barney and Friends" to the dining room.[/SIZE][/FONT][/quote]


You are totally out of line here! I am sitting here wondering if you even have children, if so do they even like you! :rolleyes:

[on board]

[SIZE=4]I am a Mother and also a Day Care/Pre-School Teacher. A 15 month old child is to young to be in that environment to begin with. Why? Because their attention span is ...Zip! However, being a Mother I would NEVER leave my baby with a total stranger no matter where, when, or how! I think the parents do need to consider the other guest, but they also have the right to have a nice Dinner. This being said, my opinion only, I think young children as the age of this baby are to young to even be on a cruise. When Parents decide to have children they have to alter their lives for a few years until their children are old enough to participate in other activities while mom and dad do what they want to do on vacation. That is just my opinion and that is how we raised our children. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Now, since the cruise has already been booked, if it were me I would ask for a table for just them a little out of the way of others so that she could enjoy her video and not disrupt others. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I myself do not want to sit at a table with young children while I am on vacation. WE had one young gal 10 years old that the parents thought was everything and this gal wanted to try everyones food and her idiot parents thought is was fine. I got annoyed seeing her stuff food in her mouth and the spit it out if she did not like it! :p [/SIZE]

[on board]

[quote name='ccturner26']Ok, since I am the original poster and am now seeing all of this...
First of all, I am curious, I can see people saying it is rude to possibly use this in the dining room. That is fine. But those of you that are talking of manners and crayons...that is plain crazy. He is 15 months old. He EATS crayons right now. The DoodlePro sometimes becomes a hazard (and really the age it is geared to is higher than his age). He has limited vocabulary so manners, kind of a moot point right now. I do agree, if he gets out of hand, in eating at the buffet. And obviously will be verifying where we are seated. I am hoping RCCL has a little sense as to who to seat us with and who not to.

Beyond this, tell me, those who are against this (and trust me, I do understand some of your reasons), do you actually have children? I am not asking to be a smarty-pants but honestly, I want to know where you are coming from.[/quote]

ccturner26, I know where you are coming from as I have had my children and they are all grown, plus I have a Day Care and deal with children on a daily basis. Honest opinion, I think truly he is to young to be taken on any cruise. Why? Myself I would never leave my child with a sitter who is unknown to me, second, if they are to young to join in on the kids program they are to young to go!
That being said, if you are taking him then I would go to the Dining Room first thing when you get on the ship and ask for a table all your own. This way you would not be bothering anyone and you and your son could enjoy a nice Dinner!:p
HAve a great cruise

[shellie100]

[quote name='on board']...Honest opinion, I think truly he is to young to be taken on any cruise. ..[/quote]

Soooooo totally disagree with your opinion.

Just because you didn't go on nice vacations with your kids doesn't mean others shouldn't. My guess is that the reason that you didn't take your kids on nice vacations is probably because you couldn't afford to do so.

Cruising is such a wonderful vacation for families, especially those with small children.

Not sure exactly why you were seated with a 10-yr-old. Probably you booked the trip late and you got thrown in that table with others that booked late. I have ALWAYS been seated with other families with children, NEVER with adults without kids in their party. And, if someone at another table's vacation was ruined because ds quietly watched his DVD player during dinner, then that's too bad. On my last cruise, I had to pay full fare for him, because I went without dh, so not even 3rd or 4th person fare. So, sorry, for full price, he gets to enjoy his shrimp dinner in the dining room too.

Suggesting that people with kids not travel for 15+ years until all kids are able to participate in all activities with mom and dad is ridiculous.

[caribbean dreams]

I think 10 years old is a little old to be spitting out food.

I think people should be able to bring there children into the dining room but leave the DVD players in the cabin, when we were younger our parents had no electronic devises to keep us busy during dinner and we did just fine.

I think anything else that you can find to bring like an etch a sketch would be totally exceptible.

[Desertbelle]

[quote name='caribbean dreams']I think 10 years old is a little old to be spitting out food.

I think people should be able to bring there children into the dining room but leave the DVD players in the cabin, when we were younger our parents had no electronic devises to keep us busy during dinner and we did just fine.

I think anything else that you can find to bring like an etch a sketch would be totally exceptible.[/quote]


What makes a etch a sketch acceptable and a DVD player with headphones that no one can hear unacceptable?

Why should we only be allowed to use what was available 40 years ago for parenting today?

[caribbean dreams]

[quote name='Desertbelle']What makes a etch a sketch acceptable and a DVD player with headphones that no one can hear unacceptable?

Why should we only be allowed to use what was available 40 years ago for parenting today?[/quote]

because children should not be watching movies while eating, remember long ago there was this thing called a dining room where people got together everynight, ate and talked about the events of their day without the interuption of TV's or stereos and children knew how to mind at the table without electronical devices to keep them busy.
I suggested an etch a sketch because atleast they will be learning and not glued to a cartoon and also smaller children can not eat the pen like they could if they were given crayons.

And 40 years ago children also said no sir and respected adults.

[shellie100]

[quote name='caribbean dreams']because children should not be watching movies while eating, remember long ago there was this thing called a dining room where people got together everynight, ate and talked about the events of their day without the interuption of TV's or stereos and children knew how to mind at the table without electronical devices to keep them busy.
I suggested an etch a sketch because atleast they will be learning and not glued to a cartoon and also smaller children can not eat the pen like they could if they were given crayons.

And 40 years ago children also said no sir and respected adults.[/quote]

We eat at our dining room table every night with no TV on and we talk. But when ds was 2-yrs-old, a cruise dinner would be pretty long for him. No matter how behaved a little boy is, that's a long dinner. I do understand that girls might be different. But regardless, I refuse to restrict myself from the dining room when I have a child that is capable is siting peacefully through the boring parts of a long dinner while quietly watching a video. I still don't know exactly who it is that I would be bothering.

Caribbean Dreams-Obviously you are a much more perfect parent than I am, and obviously that is why you have been given the opportunity to raise your granddaughter. I can apire to parent so well.

[Onessa]

Crayons, etch-a-sketch, books, game boy, dvd player, trinkets from the dollar store -- all are distractions for the kids. I agree that it is a bit hypocritcal to say crayons are ok, but the DVD player is not (or whatever combination you want to insert there:) !) I'm not going to enter into a debate as to whether an etch-a-sketch is "educational' and a video game teaching math facts is not.

A distraction is a distraction is a distraction! - the only thing that would make any one of them morally superior to another is their ability to bother other diners. Now while some diners will be looking for something/anything to claim as a bother - a child reading a book, quietly drawing, or playing a hand-held game with the sound off or an ear bud or the like, should not be a bother to anyone else.

As to whether it is appropriate to provide distractions for your child while others are dining is the real issue here. While our DD (now 11) has always been blessed with exceeding measure of patience and an amazingly long attention span (both characteristics a complete and utter surprise based upon her parents' attributes in both areas!), I would not even now expect her to want to join into conversation, wait for five courses to be served and eaten, and sit around a bit while others enjoy a cup of coffee. Thus the distractions - - we were at a wedding last weekend. She was a special guest of the groom's mother and one of only two under the age of 18 in attendance. She nicely sat through the appetizer, salad, and main course -- when they brought out the fru-fru desserts and coffee/tea service, she nicely asked to be excused, found a chair in a quiet corner nearby and played on her Nintendo DS until the dance began (about 20 minutes later).

I don't think parents do their kids any favors by not setting out minimum behavior guidelines appropriate to that child's abilities at that point in the child's life - but by no means is it necessarily 'wrong' to encourage the child to entertain himself quietly for a bit when the child's obligations are through.

As adults, we need to remember to treat kids like kids and like people. We have been fortunate enough to have tablemates on our cruises who have always acknowledged our daughter and at least attempted to engage her or include her in conversation (on one cruise, much to my daughter's horror we were seated with two unrelated couples - one of the woman was a retired 3rd grade teacher, the other was a 2nd grade teacher, and one gentleman a 5th grade teacher. DD was nearly exhausted because she was so engaged! But she really enjoyed herself and they did a lot for her self confidence. BTW none were at all offended the evenings she chose to eat with the kids program or left early to attend kids programming).

Provide expectations for your child, provide unobtrusive distractions, and have a great time!

[Onessa]

[quote name='caribbean dreams']And 40 years ago children also said no sir and respected adults.[/quote]

and black people were still expected to pass a "literacy test" before they could vote, and women were legally barred from many professions. And 100 years ago children were put to work in sweatshops by their parents -- Ah for the good old days!

[bplazo]

Children are also more disrespectfull now, also. I am always amazed at how much backtalk I hear coming from children talking to their parents (mine included). I think that it is from to much tv, cell phones, cruises, etc..

I like the good ole days where it was a treat to go to McDonalds.

[shellie100]

[quote name='bplazo']Children are also more disrespectfull now, also. I am always amazed at how much backtalk I hear coming from children talking to their parents (mine included). I think that it is from to much tv, cell phones, cruises, etc..[/quote]
Cruising is why children are disrespectful???:rolleyes:

I actually use upcoming cruises as an opportunity to discuss manners and proper dinner conversation. Yes, we do this anyway, but an upcoming cruise provides some excitement and added enthusiam to the lesson.

[quote name='bplazo'] I like the good ole days where it was a treat to go to McDonalds.[/quote]
I'm not sure if ds has ever eaten there. He would probably think that nasty chicken nuggets and goss hamburgers were actually a punishment not a treat. He thinks shrimp is a treat. Yep, you're right, too many cruises.

[bplazo]

That might be why I love McDonalds. Just where I ate growing up. I would probably prefer fast food than the formal dining room. Now, my daughter prefers finer dining and the only vacation she will consider is crusing.

DVD players were not out when she was younger (she is 18) but even at her age using the cell phone when out at a restraunt (or at home) is not allowed. Those are just my rules and I do not expect anyone else but my family to follow them.

[junglejane]

[quote name='shellie100']Cruising is why children are disrespectful???:rolleyes:

I actually use upcoming cruises as an opportunity to discuss manners and proper dinner conversation. Yes, we do this anyway, but an upcoming cruise provides some excitement and added enthusiam to the lesson.
[/quote]

I agree with Shellie100. Cruising certainly doesn't make children disrespectful. The experience of dining for a week straight in a formal dining room has been great for teaching our two kids how to behave in such a setting. Now we find it's easier and more relaxing when we take them out to nicer restaurants, because they've learned from their cruising experience how to handle themselves.

A couple of months ago we had a babysitter cancel at the last minute, so we ended up taking our two daughters to the Capital Grille with us. If you've been to one you know it's a rather stuffy, very formal atmosphere. I could see the anxiety on the staff's faces when we walked in with our daughters (ages 5 and 10). By the end of the dinner, however, they were showering us with compliments about their good behavior. I truly believe that our week long cruise in Alaska this past August (during which we discussed and practiced our manners) had a lot to do with it, especially for our youngest.

--Junglejane

[CWNNP]

i don't post often but after reading this thread and the links posted to the same subject on other boards all I can say is... Wow!

I know what having a 15 mth old is like, i've been through it 3 times. I also know that all children are different and that it would be unreasonable to expect most kids that age to sit thru a 2 hr dinner... that said, i would not be at all bothered by or offended to see someone else bringing a DVD player for their child as long as the volume was off or they were using headphones. I feel it is not my place to judge what other people do and or to judge the decisions that they make on where they will eat their dinner or where they choose to take their vacation, for that matter!

Personally, I have not or would not ever bring a DVD player to any dining room or restaurant for any of my own children. I feel that a dining room is for dining and conversation and a perfect place for my kids to practice using their best manners. On our first cruise my eldest son was 20 mths and on our 2nd cruise my youngest was 13 mths, middle was 3 yrs and eldest was 6yrs. We always eat in the dining room. We have always taken them to restaurants even as babies and toddlers. On cruises, if a really young one was showing signs that they had "had enough" then either dh or I (we took turns) would just high-tail it out of there with the little one and let the others finish their dinner in peace. (I mean we would take the EARLY signs of when they'd had enough, we would not be carrying a screaming kid out of the dining room- that way, we left on a good note for the toddler and we left before any other passengers would be disturbed.) maybe we were just lucky that our kids could easily sit for 1- 1 1/2 hrs, or maybe because we were so determined that it is possible, i don't know ... but i really do resent the fact that some people say that people with young children shouldn't take them in the dining rooms or on cruises- We have had fabulous cruise vacations with young children and are cruising again this coming February and I don't think that our presence on the cruise ships has in any way ruined anyone else's vacation!!

For that matter- why is it that the people who are SO bothered by what OTHER people do, even go on cruises at all? I mean there are so many other types of vacations where you don't have to be in contact with so many other people- why not rent a cottage or vacation home somewhere so that other people's actions and choices won't offend you so much?????

I don't know how to quote what other people have posted- but to the person who was talking about their kid and the butter pat obsession and the head waiter's karate chop: I was laughing so hard when i read that, i nearly fell off my chair!!! ROFL!

So, for the Original poster: i, personally would not be in the least bit offended if i saw someone quietly playing a DVD for their kid at dinner.

Yikes, sorry to write a novel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shellie100]

[quote name='CWNNP']

For that matter- why is it that the people who are SO bothered by what OTHER people do, even go on cruises at all? I mean there are so many other types of vacations where you don't have to be in contact with so many other people- why not rent a cottage or vacation home somewhere so that other people's actions and choices won't offend you so much?????

[/quote]

Good point. I kind of think that about the dress code, too. We totally love dressing up, so its not a problem for us, but I don't bat an eye if someone else isn't dressed properly. You know, it just doesn't affect me and I wouldn't let it ruin my vacation. But sometimes I read the Celebrity boards and OMG they are brutal about dress code violators, LOL! It ruins their whole vacation. :rolleyes:

[on board]

[quote name='shellie100']Soooooo totally disagree with your opinion.

Just because you didn't go on nice vacations with your kids doesn't mean others shouldn't. My guess is that the reason that you didn't take your kids on nice vacations is probably because you couldn't afford to do so.

Cruising is such a wonderful vacation for families, especially those with small children.

Not sure exactly why you were seated with a 10-yr-old. Probably you booked the trip late and you got thrown in that table with others that booked late. I have ALWAYS been seated with other families with children, NEVER with adults without kids in their party. And, if someone at another table's vacation was ruined because ds quietly watched his DVD player during dinner, then that's too bad. On my last cruise, I had to pay full fare for him, because I went without dh, so not even 3rd or 4th person fare. So, sorry, for full price, he gets to enjoy his shrimp dinner in the dining room too.

Suggesting that people with kids not travel for 15+ years until all kids are able to participate in all activities with mom and dad is ridiculous.[/quote]

Wow just got back to this thread and read what you said! First I am amazed at how you can sit there and say what you did without even knowing me! :rolleyes: Second, On the contrary we did take nice EXPENSIVE vacations twice a year when our kids were young but kid oriented! (That makes a difference! I have been blessed that money was no object raising our kids and still is not! Third, Not everyone around you wants to listen to Jr. scream his guts out or be the recipient of their tantrums and food throwing! Don't get me wrong I love kids and all kids, but when mine was small I respected the other people as I would want to be respected in the same way! Fourth, again, it appears to me you have no respect for anyone else but yourself! I am sure you love your kids but not everyone wants to be around them all the time! Fifth, I have no clue why we were placed at a table with the little monster either, but we booked our cruise a year in advance and not at the last minute! And six, I never said that a parent should wait until their kids are 15 to travel with them so that they can be with their parents, I said the kids should be old enough to be able to participate in the kids club activities so that they can go there while their parents want to enjoy a nice Dinner that a small child should not be expected to sit through. I blame the parents when a small child throws a fit because 9 times out of ten the child should not be there anyway because the parent is being selfish and not thinking that his or her child is not old enough to sit quietly during a long dinner! It amazes me to see some parents expect their small kids to behave, when the child is not even old enough to understand and they are not old enough to even have an attention span any longer than 5 minutes! This is rude of the parents and it tells me they know nothing about parenting at all!
Yes if you pay the price to have your little ones on yes by all means they deserve to have the shrimp dinners also BUT not at the expense of another traveler! You sound like to me you are one of those mothers that you think Jr.is cute no matter what havoc he causes! What is cute to you may not be so to another! The children's behavior is totally the fault of the parents! I have no problem traveling with children but the parents need to be in total control of their kids so that they do not infringe on the other travelers!
Traveling is a wonderful thing with children who are old enough to enjoy it! :p When our kids were Young we took them out of school twice a year for 2 weeks at a time to travel all over the U.S. My children are very well traveled, and for their 13th birthday we gave them a vacation to Europe for 3 weeks! But my children were brought up knowing how to act in public and if I did not think an activity or a long Dinner was age appropriate then I respected that and altered our plans to suit the kids! I never ever thought how you do here and just more or less think Jr.s fits should be accepted by the other passengers! That is totally outrageous and disrespectful! :p

[on board]

[quote name='junglejane']I agree with Shellie100. Cruising certainly doesn't make children disrespectful. The experience of dining for a week straight in a formal dining room has been great for teaching our two kids how to behave in such a setting. Now we find it's easier and more relaxing when we take them out to nicer restaurants, because they've learned from their cruising experience how to handle themselves.

A couple of months ago we had a babysitter cancel at the last minute, so we ended up taking our two daughters to the Capital Grille with us. If you've been to one you know it's a rather stuffy, very formal atmosphere. I could see the anxiety on the staff's faces when we walked in with our daughters (ages 5 and 10). By the end of the dinner, however, they were showering us with compliments about their good behavior. I truly believe that our week long cruise in Alaska this past August (during which we discussed and practiced our manners) had a lot to do with it, especially for our youngest.

--Junglejane[/quote]

Your kids are old enough to be able to sit still and behave! that should be expected of children 5 and 10! Not 15 months old or even under 4 for a two hour dinner!

[on board]

[SIZE=4]Shellie100, something that maybe might help you, Kids are kids and should not be expected to be little adults! No child should ever be expected to sit through a long Dinner if they are physically not capable of doing so! I am one that has taught my kids good manners and how to act not only in public but at home also! I see so many parents out in public that take their small children and yell at them for crying and etc. When I know they have been there for more than an hour! Small kids under 4 or 5 depending on maturity cannot be expected to sit quietly for to long! And when they act out and infringe on the others around them it is time for the parents to remove them so that they do not spoil the other peoples outings! Only Common sense and respect! Simple parenting and very elementary! ;) [/SIZE]

[Sheils65]

IMHO.............who cares if someone brings a DVD player into the dining room. What is good for you, may not be for someone else and that is what makes everyone unique.

To criticize what someone does because it is not what YOU believe or what YOU would do is rediculous.

I have 2 children (older now), but my kids for the most part were well behaved in public places. There was your occasional melt down but I would remove my child from the place and that would be that.

Like people are saying, it isn't fair or expected that a 2-3-4-5 year old child sit through a 2 hr dinner........to even the odds.........bring a DVD player and watch a movie.......I can't hear it and my child is happy. After all, all parents want their children to be happy.......esp on such a big event as a cruise. I would much rather see a child watching a movie in a dining room than listen to them throwing a fit and feel for the parent that is dealing with their child (yes as a parent it is our job to deal with situaltions that arise) but if they can be far and few between.......i say.........watch a movie then!!!!!!!

[on board]

[quote name='Sheils65']IMHO.............who cares if someone brings a DVD player into the dining room. What is good for you, may not be for someone else and that is what makes everyone unique.

To criticize what someone does because it is not what YOU believe or what YOU would do is rediculous.

I have 2 children (older now), but my kids for the most part were well behaved in public places. There was your occasional melt down but I would remove my child from the place and that would be that.

Like people are saying, it isn't fair or expected that a 2-3-4-5 year old child sit through a 2 hr dinner........to even the odds.........bring a DVD player and watch a movie.......I can't hear it and my child is happy. After all, all parents want their children to be happy.......esp on such a big event as a cruise. I would much rather see a child watching a movie in a dining room than listen to them throwing a fit and feel for the parent that is dealing with their child (yes as a parent it is our job to deal with situaltions that arise) but if they can be far and few between.......i say.........watch a movie then!!!!!!![/quote]

There is nothing wrong with taking the DVD to the table but just in case it would bother some old fuddy duddy I think it would be more appropriate to ask for a table just for your family! And yes you hit it on the head! What is good for you may not be good for another! What goes around comes around! For the life of me I have no clue why any mother would ever think about doing this and not asking for a table to themselves! I could careless what anyone would bring to their OWN table as long as it did not spoil my time! The perfect solution would be to get their own table!!! :rolleyes:

[on board]

[SIZE=4]CWNNP, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]All have a right to go on a cruise but not at the expense of another! If you want to take your small children in the Dining room and expect your young child to sit through a long Dinner that is your choice but it should not disrupt the other guest! A lot of people go on cruises to relax and some have raised their children and don't care to be around small children and parents who refuse to control their kids! I think if you have small kids that you are determined to make sit through a very long period you and your kids should be put at your own table around other small kids! That way you all can tolerate your owe kids and others because you were so determined to put your kids through that misery! Some parents expect their little ones to act as adults way before their time! If this is the case you be miserable around them and let us that have raised our children out of it! ;) I am still a firm believer that there are places and times for all children. Try the Disney Cruises! :rolleyes: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I expected my kids to act as they were taught in public and at home. But I never expected my kids to do more than what their age could handle! Simple parenting! :p [/SIZE]

[Sheils65]

yes, I agree getting your own table would be appropriate.........but the beginning of this post stated that someone was at a different table and had a problem with a child watching a DVD player at another table with head phones. I don't see the problem that the person is having, thats all.

Happy cruising........Sheils

[on board]

[SIZE=4]Sorry I did not take the time to read the entire thread to many! But if a child is at a different table with his or hers DVD then I see no problem with that what so ever as long as is not heard! :p [/SIZE]

[minxkelly]

[quote name='on board']Your kids are old enough to be able to sit still and behave! that should be expected of children 5 and 10! Not 15 months old or even under 4 for a two hour dinner![/quote]

I must respectfully disagree.

Certainly this isn't true of all kids, but I can say for my own son who is 22 months old and has been joining us at movies and restaurants from 5 months old and up... we have had to leave a restaurant exactly once, and it turned out that our baby was sick with an ear infection and we didn't know it yet. We do regularly take him to long dinners and he loves it. He spends hours in the kitchen watching dad and his grandfather cook, we have done 5 course meals quite often, and my son just eats it up, literally. IF he does fuss or get bored then one of us walks him away for a little while, then returns.

I respect my baby enough to let him have fun without ruining the dining experience of others, and I respect others in the room enough to not inflict my son on them if he is acting up. It just hasn't happened yet so we will enjoy his company in the dining room and on formal night unless we have a compelling reason not to.

I don't think there is a hard and fast rule that needs to be applied or can be assumed to be true for all or even most kids. Some 5, 15, and 25 years olds have the manners of a billy goat, and I've known 3, 13, and 23 year olds that had impeccable manners and are perfect ladies and gentlemen even at 2-4 hour events.

Parents should be responsible enough to know what their children's tolerance is on an given event or evening and act accordingly. It is just part of interacting in a civilized society I think.

Now if someone is going to have a problem if my son giggles too much, or claps his hand in delight at the waiter's smiles, then I say tough luck for them. If DS is whining, crying, yelling or throwing things i will be the FIRST one to boot him out of the room.
Colleen