Proper etiquette for complaining?

[jon8367]

I was just visiting another forum, and was amazed at the amount of complaining that took place on that board. I have noticed that this site seems to be more optimistic. It did occur to me that I have never seen a discussion on the proper way to complain about a problem that inevitably will arise from time to time. Though I have never worked on a cruise ship, it is my understanding that the people who do work twelve to fourteen hour days, seven days a week, for upwards of ten months at a time. They do, however, receive the occasional half a day off to get some shore leave while in port, yet many of them are simply too tired to enjoy it, and end up sleeping rather than taking their leave.

I am, and have been for many years, a waiter and deal with the ‘chronic complainers’ from time to time. Everyone has seen the type, and there are few things more embarrassing to me than to be in the midst of one when they get going. They are people that not only revel in their ability to belittle a person, but incessantly seek out opportunities to voice their obvious displeasure from any situation that they can find. Now granted, the VAST majority of people are very nice when it comes to their attempt to get a problem resolved; almost to the point of being apologetic over having a problem in the first place. But after reading so many posts from the ‘chronic complainers’ I thought I would take my chance to complain about them. Fair play?

[madhouseinc]

I see one small problem in that. When the person sees your complaint it will just turn into an ugly fight. What this board is is a chance for people to give their opinions on what happened on a cruise. Unfortunatly, many times it seems to turn into a personal matter. For the record I feel much the same as you!

[Barbee524]

In the past I have worked in customer service. 99% of your customers are great and then there's the other 1%. Unfortunately, those are the ones I remeber the most.

 

If a person has a legitimate complaint they should try to discretly correct the problem. If it persists then you go to the immediate supervisor and once again discretly try and have the problem corrected. This will usually work.

 

If not write a letter to the customer service department outlining what problem occured in a clear concise manner and by all means leave out any sarcasm.

 

Ranting and raving on these boards may make someone feel they are pointing out potential problems to others but really will not solve whatever problem they feel they have had.

[mr green]

I have found that a small percentage of cruisers seem to enjoy complaining, most, if not all of it being unjustified, in my opinion. I do complain about food, the odd time, but never to the waiter, since he did not prepare the dish. I might say to a waiter 'I don't like this, bring me so and so instead'. I would however make a comment about the problem to the Metre'D, [spelling?], but at the same time I normally give a compliment about some other dish.

On my last cruise, there was a very fussy lady at our table, and the Matre,D might spend up to fifteen minutes with her at each dinner. However, after the fourth night she said that she would have dinner some place else. Our other table mates, and ourselves gave an inward sigh of relief, and, as we left I mentioned to the Metre'D that he should take the next evening off.

Any real problems that we may have had, are usually company policy, which I report in the 'Comment Card'. I can also state that neither my wife, or myself have ever had cause to complain about any member of any cruise staff, on any ship that we have sailed on. :) john

[on board]

I was just visiting another forum, and was amazed at the amount of complaining that took place on that board. I have noticed that this site seems to be more optimistic. It did occur to me that I have never seen a discussion on the proper way to complain about a problem that inevitably will arise from time to time. Though I have never worked on a cruise ship, it is my understanding that the people who do work twelve to fourteen hour days, seven days a week, for upwards of ten months at a time. They do, however, receive the occasional half a day off to get some shore leave while in port, yet many of them are simply too tired to enjoy it, and end up sleeping rather than taking their leave.

I am, and have been for many years, a waiter and deal with the ‘chronic complainers’ from time to time. Everyone has seen the type, and there are few things more embarrassing to me than to be in the midst of one when they get going. They are people that not only revel in their ability to belittle a person, but incessantly seek out opportunities to voice their obvious displeasure from any situation that they can find. Now granted, the VAST majority of people are very nice when it comes to their attempt to get a problem resolved; almost to the point of being apologetic over having a problem in the first place. But after reading so many posts from the ‘chronic complainers’ I thought I would take my chance to complain about them. Fair play?

 

My question is, why would you even want to start something like this? Waste of time and space! Just my opinion! :p

[jon8367]

I see one small problem in that. When the person sees your complaint it will just turn into an ugly fight. What this board is is a chance for people to give their opinions on what happened on a cruise. Unfortunatly, many times it seems to turn into a personal matter. For the record I feel much the same as you!

 

Jerry, I am sure that you are probably right. What I had hoped for by posting this thread was that maybe someone out there (the complainer) would see that, though they might be entertaining themselves, they are really little more than a nucence to the rest of us. There was another post on this thread that spoke of a woman at a table that caused a disturbance every night, and that is the type of 'company' that can ruin an evening.

By no means am I saying that there is no reason to complain, or that people don't have a right to do it... What my point was is that there should be some kind of etiquette involved in lodging a complaint.

[Traveler353]

I have a feeling that most of the cronic complainers, are just that. They find something wrong with every experience that they have, at home, work and play. Why some people humor them my commenting back I will never figur out. It seems that for some finding fault in others is their only joy in life.

[AWED23]

:D

Jerry, I am sure that you are probably right. What I had hoped for by posting this thread was that maybe someone out there (the complainer) would see that, though they might be entertaining themselves, they are really little more than a nucence to the rest of us. There was another post on this thread that spoke of a woman at a table that caused a disturbance every night, and that is the type of 'company' that can ruin an evening.

By no means am I saying that there is no reason to complain, or that people don't have a right to do it... What my point was is that there should be some kind of etiquette involved in lodging a complaint.

Your point is well taken....During the many years of entertaining business guests and of being entertained I learned one very valuable lesson.....If you wish to know a persons real character just observe how he interacts with the person seving him in a restaurant...If you can not stand eating with him....????....:cool:

[flag fan]

There are some people in the world that have never seen a half-full glass; every glass is half-empty and a large percentage of those people seem compelled to share their view of the world. It is a waste of time and energy to change their minds or meet their needs. Changing the subject or ignoring them completely is the best one can hope for. If one is unfortunate enough to be providing services to such people, politeness is best, but focusing on the needs of others that can be satisfied is a better use of one's efforts.

[japester]

I don't mind complaints as long as they are reasonable. What gets me is the following:

"Dog with a bone" --- someone who won't let it go, legitimate or not, and must post the same trash on 20 different threads

"Read my mind" --- someone who simply disagrees with how the world is spinning (your chronic complainer) and wants everything to change to suit them and them alone

"The Victim" --- people who could easily fix a minor problem by lifting their pinky finger, but who prefer to flop on the floor like a professional basketball player after being nudged by an opponent. They yell and scream, waiting for an authority figure to fix the tiny problem, and then they post about it here when it isn't fixed immediately.

 

As a long-time waiter myself, my favorite thing to do with unreasonable or chronic complainers is to defend the staff. You're never allowed to do it when YOU are the staff, but as another customer, you are free to tell the crazies that they are, indeed, off their rocker. For example, the poor Ukranian woman who worked in the crystal shop just outside one of the dining rooms on the Grand Princess was being yelled at by two passengers because they found the three main dining rooms to be confusing. And they wouldn't....let it....go. Since the lady had been very nice in helping us just minutes before, I stepped in and told the pax to buzz off. I gave them some quick directions (they really hated the fact that they had to navigate around the kitchen by going up one deck) and sent them on their way. The saleswoman was so relieved. She made sure to wave to us every time we walked by the shop after that. :D

 

Jape

[tomc]

jon8367 --

What my point was is that there should be some kind of etiquette involved in lodging a complaint.

There is, and I have used it many times. It involves not complaining, but pointing out and suggesting. I teach part-time in a college and explain this to my public speaking class, for times when they are on the road.

 

(1) Exactly what is the problem. And I mean "exactly." It may take time for you to come up with the specific cause for your complaint, because you need to push aside all the obvious, but not correct, causes.

 

(2) Exactly why is it a problem. You may discover that it's really your problem and nobody else's; you may realize that the first cause you came up with is not the real originating cause.

 

(3) Suggest a solution, a specific solution, which will either solve or lessen the difficulty.

 

(4) Explain why you think this will work.

 

Do all of this in a pleasant, "we're in this together," problem-solving mode. It turns your complaint into a shared concern and mutual cure. I've done this a number of times with HAL and I think I've been batting a thousand so far.

[Sueseb]

On our first cruise several years ago, on a now defunct, lesser expensive line we were seated at a table for eight. We were having a wonderful time and loved every minute of it. One of the women was a chronic complainer. "This is not how they would have done it on HAL or X" etc. Finally when she started in again at lunch, when just the four of us were at the table, I, very undiplomatically, said, "You get what you pay for." Didn't end the complaints but made me feel better, if not politically correct.

[tomc]

I was at a large table which had, among others, two ladies whose job description in life was to complain about everything. Our waiter happened to be the last one out each time. Not a straggler; just the last one out. No big deal. Welllll, you'd have thought it was a major persecution. The second night, when the whining started up, I said, "You know, we are on the Rotterdam, a wonderful cruise ship, being waited on hand and foot; the meals are just wonderful. Right now, we are living better than perhaps 99 percent of everyone in the world."

 

End of whining for the rest of the cruise. At least, in front of me.

 

(I have thought of waiting until a chronic complainer gives me the line: "I just don't know what I'm going to do," and suggest, "You might try jumping overboard.")

[bububr]

" I prefer to think that I am 'voicing my concerns'. :D

 

Dave:eek:

[huladoula1]

The complainers just kill me. I look at it like this:

 

I'm not at work and not home trying to feed a bunch of teenagers & picking up after them. I'm on a gorgeous vessel with beautiful oceanviews on the outside, and beautiful artwork on the inside. Someone is making my bed, making my meals, and bringing me nice clean fluffy towels daily. The only issue for me is whether to order the large or the small drink of the day.

 

Is everything beyond perfection? Based on my everyday life - you bet it is.

[cathi]

when I book I always ask for a table for 6 (LOVE TRADITIONAL). The theory is that you'll like at least on of the 2 couples making dinner enjoyable. Well one cruise we got an older lady and her paid travelling companion both of whom wouldn't even accept the menu before they had a drink in front of them AND the other couple were very strict AA who relentlessly questioned the waiter on every sauce or desert and it's alcohol content. Needless to say it was an interesting cruise. Each night we couldn't wait to see who could make the biggest fuss and quietly commisserate with the poor waiter. I say any day spent on a cruise ship is better than the my best day on land.

[happytogoing]

It amazes me what passes for a problem for some people...... I think those who expect absolutely impeccable service should buck up and pay for a premium line, leaving the rest of us to enjoy a great travel value, good service, good food, good times....

 

As for complaints, I have no issue if people have problems and complain, but people should follow the appropriate process, bring them to the right "place"

 

Interestingly, on our last cruise, I watched a woman screech (without stopping) about how bad everything was on the cruise, how absolutely everyone on board hated the ship, how absolutely terrible everything was. She was yelling as loud as you can imagine at this poor little staff member at the customer service desk. I had just had a great time and was absolutely blown away..... later, I asked one of the staff about this sort of complaint, and apparently there is a book ABOUT complaining on cruises/tours and trying to get free cruises in future, and the book advises to make as much noise as possible. She said there are usually several on every cruise who line up to ream out the customer service staff, and it is a challenge to sort out legitimate concerns from those who stockpile every little crazy thing in the hopes of getting something free out of it.... What a job, no thanks....

[camperhawk]

Sounds like our little box or book, whichever your prefer, for drug seekers, they have no idea..and always the big complainers,because they don't get what they came for! I know that is a little far-fetched but every business does keep records if they are in the service industry,some call it fore-warnings, some call it experience, some call it public relations, and believe it or not ," profiling" has come up!

 

When I am on a cruise I don't see, hear or even think about complainers!

[charpe]

We just returned from our cruise yesterday. On our first day waiting in line at Port Everglades, a woman called her TA to complain about the checkin procedure "nightmare", and informed her that she will never cruise XX again! She didn't even get on the ship yet and was already complaining!! People like that? Stay home:D.