Is a DVD player terrible in the dining room?

[Julienatul]

As a parent and a grandparent.... I can tell you any 2 or 3 year old who is "going to do what he or she wants" is not disciplined and that is a direct reflection on the parents inability to parent.

 

 

 

In response to this quote, this person obviously knows nothing about child development and probably has not had to care for a toddler in a long, long time. I am extremely offended by this statement! I am a parent of a two-year-old, I am a pediatric nurse practitioner, I examine children, prescribe medication and treatments and educate parents on child behavior for a living. A two year old does NOT have the impulse control to be able to control their behavior. No matter how "good" a parent is, at this age it does not matter. They do not have the cognitive ability to understand right from wrong yet. They are just starting to put together associations such as if I do this mommy and daddy get mad. They may understand mommy does not like it but they do not have the control to stop the behavior and cannot rationalize what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior. It has NOTHING to do with discipline or effective parenting. If you dont believe me, I suggest you do some research on child behavior and development. I would be happy to provide Journal articles and research studies for you to examine. As you move into late three's and four's, sure they are able to better control their behavior and could be expected to behave appropriately at dinner. What you are seeing with "perfect toddlers" at the dinner table is temperament. Some will sit back and take things all in, those are the "angels" you are referring to with the "perfect parents". Other toddlers are more active and will not want to sit still with their hand folded, quitely waiting for each course to be served.

In my opinion, if you are courteous with the dvd player and respectfull of those around you and it keeps your young child quiet and entertained then do what ever is necessary for a happy dining experience.

[SunniLicious]

First the two parts of the sentence are not incongruous....

 

I have brought my son to restaurants and used a DVD player and various people with and without children have thought it was an ingenious idea.

 

I didn't say the two parts of the same sentence didn't belong together, I said not everyone would agree the two apposing sentences belong together. You said, to paraphrase, "it's fine to use a DVD player... just be considerate of others" and my point is that no matter how you attempt to mitigate the effect on others at your table, there's no way around the fact that clearly some people think tv simply has no place at the dinner table, period, and those folks will feel put upon when their tablemates decide for them that their dinner table will include tv watching.

 

As for people thinking it's "ingenious", clearly there are others in the thread who agree, however, just as clearly, this is not the only sentiment you can expect to evoke.

 

You took what I wrote about the "cheeseburger" way too literally - I was empathizing with the loss of the main dining room as an option at peak dinnertime, but there are other dining options and other dining times. As a three-time cruiser and mother of a spirited toddler why this debate always centers around "what toys are okay in the dining room" and not "is a two-hour dinner a good place for a toddler to begin with" escapes me. As a medical doctor who also "examines, prescribes, advises... yada yada yada" I agree with the nurse practitioner's assessment above that kids simply aren't ready to behave appropriately at dinner in that setting. At that point, IMO it's up to the parents to modify their dinner, not their right to expect all others will "just deal" to accommodate their kids.

 

I recall reading in another thread recently about a line that had instituted an "adults-only" eating environment - I think that's a wonderful idea, and would possibly put this debate to rest. Then those who booked their vacation with images of a romantic getaway with the kind of leisurely four-course dinners they never have time for at home can have their experience that they paid for and have the right to expect, and those that booked with images of a family vacation and togetherness can have it their way too.

[larronry]

 

You took what I wrote about the "cheeseburger" way too literally

 

I recall reading in another thread recently about a line that had instituted an "adults-only" eating environment - I think that's a wonderful idea, and would possibly put this debate to rest. Then those who booked their vacation with images of a romantic getaway with the kind of leisurely four-course dinners they never have time for at home can have their experience that they paid for and have the right to expect, and those that booked with images of a family vacation and togetherness can have it their way too.

Actually I didn't take your statement about the "cheeseburger" way to literally. On the ship I am sailing on with the options I am being given my options will be dining room or the lido deck where they serve hamburgers, hot dogs, and pizza. If I end up in casual dining with my son I will be there without my husband and friends and without being catered to and having things brought to us before I have a chance to ask for them. And because they automatically add on a fee for casual dining (I think it is the tip) I do not believe that will be a doable option. My husband doesn't like anything on the ship with an automatic fee.

 

I'll just hope that no one at the table I'm sitting at has an issue with it. I have a sneaking suspicion that the little black square they will see (which most likely will be blocked by some sort of centerpiece) will not interfere with their cruise enjoyment. In fact my getting up and down taking the fussy toddler in and out of the dinning room is more likely to interfere with their cruise and dining enjoyment. Of all the cruises I've been on and all the people I've eaten with (and some definetly felt that children don't belong on cruises) I don't think the DVD player would have bothered any of them. We were all to busy talking with each other that I doubt anyone would have even noticed.

 

Are there people who don't like it sure. But I just bet that there are a lot more people who prefer a quiet happy toddler watching Mickey Mouse Club House over a screaming toddler being removed from the dining room. I don't know, just a hunch.

 

Just like when I read reviews about a product online I realize that people are more likely to go through the effort to write a review when they are unhappy then when they are happy and take that into account I think that those without children who come to the family cruising forum are most likely coming here to try and stop families from doing these they don't like. The majority of cruisers, who could care less, don't come to this forum. I was one of the majority for many, many, many years.

[Onessa]

To begin with, I have never brought a DVD player (or allowed my DD to bring her Nintendo DS) to a sit down dinner. But . . .

• If there was a kid sitting near me with one or the other, would I let it bother me? No.
  
• Would I think the parent was a "bad" parent? No.
  
• Would I find it rude? Not really

That being said, when she was younger, I would let her color and play will Polly Pocket toys (when Polly Pocket toys were tiny-weeny, not like they are now) or the like. And now, dependent upon the situation, I will allow her to bring a book to read when she is finished eating.

 

There are those who believe ANY diversion other than eating and civilized conversation at the dinner table is rude. (and to some religious sects, even the civilized conversation is out :D )

 

DH and I set the rules for our family. I will allow you and whomever you parent with (if applicable) set the rules for your family -- with the caveat that I really do expect everyone to remain seated upon their bottoms throughout the meal and that any noise made by any of these diversions be kept to the diversionee. As long as you do not physically abuse your child, and your diversion meets the sitting and no loud noise criteria - I promise I will not judge, deride or mutter under my breath about you or your family.

 

Thanks!

[larronry]

with the caveat that I really do expect everyone to remain seated upon their bottoms throughout the meal and that any noise made by any of these diversions be kept to the diversionee. As long as you do not physically abuse your child, and your diversion meets the sitting and no loud noise criteria - I promise I will not judge, deride or mutter under my breath about you or your family.

 

Thanks!

This statement is a bit confusing so I am just clarifying. I am assuming that you have no problem with a parent removing a child before or when s/he tantrums. I get confused when you say you expect everyone to stay seated. But staying seated and the no loud noise criteria could be a problem if you don't like someone getting up to remove a child who is or is about to tantrum.

[SweetAngel]

It is sad that this thread ever got this long.

Why is it so long?

Well ... Name calling will do it -- bad parents? self-righteous diners?

 

How many of you recognize the child with ADHD or other behavior disorders? He looks like any other child, especially when he has his Gameboy in hand.

 

Judge not ...

 

Sunnilicious, Good idea. Cruise ships have adult pools and adult entertainment. Why not free adult dining? Why not have adult-only cruises for that matter? If enough people asked for it, surely they would offer it. Right?

 

To the offended diners, if there are enough of you, then make your voices heard to the people in charge. Wouldn't the act of sending a bunch of comment cards to the cruise lines be a bit more effective than getting online and trying to correct a world full of "bad parents" yourself?

 

For those of us who do have difficulties controlling our children, life is a day to day struggle ... sometimes a minute to minute struggle ... and complaints about our "bad parenting" doesn't make it any better.

 

Being a single parent is difficult enough. Should I be condemned to my room too? Should I not be allowed to enjoy a formal dinner with my family just because my son might need an unobtrusive aid to get him through quietly? Even if he is 9 ... or 16.

 

I personally would NEVER say that I don't care about your dinner rights. I do. Don't let one negative voice speak for all parents. But do you care about my rights as well? Or is my quiet child with the occassional noiseless gameboy too much of an eyesore that I should never be allowed the privilege of eating a formal dinner with my family in public?

 

For those of you outside the Gameboy generation, nothing, I mean nothing, holds interest like a Gameboy. It is a Godsend to parents of children with behavior disorders. It is a truly amazing invention.

 

To the "good parents", our worlds are opposite. You don't allow the Gameboy at dinner. I don't allow it at home. We both agree that there should be limits and rules. We both strive to raise our children to the best of our ability. However, our circumstances are uniquely different.

 

Judge not...

 

Do you have any idea how many children (and adults) have behavior disorders? Those of you who believe that a child's ability to sit still is a result of parental skill could certainly make a fortune sharing your special parenting techniques with doctors, psychologists and the makers of Ridilin.

 

Also, I'm not sure anyone brought this up, but, not only does Mommy get no fillet minon, no lobster, and no pampering ... but, when at the buffet, she will be the one loading and juggling all three plates with a line of complaining buffet guests waiting grudgingly behind her.

 

Truthfully, I have heard more people complain about children at the buffet than at formal dinners, maybe because I spend more time in there. My children are generally well-behaved (Thank you Gameboy), and still I hear the complaints even when they are on their very best behavior. Just seeing a child sit nearby is enough to strike up complaints from some people. Some people don't want to see a Gameboy at any dinner table, even in the buffet area, especially if their own perfect children never needed one.

 

Oh, and these are not simple stares. These are glares. They are not looking because they want to see which game my son is playing. These glares are often accompanied by overly loud voices describing what a nuisance children are in general, what a nuisance their gameboys are, etc. The comments are not directed at me, but certainly intended for me to hear. I had never known there were so many people who disliked being around children until I took my first cruise. After 3 cruises and a year of reading these message boards, I am used to it. That doesn't mean I like being treated as a second-class citizen. It just means that I can expect it.

 

Have other parents noticed how much friendlier everyone (including ship staff) is to you when the children are not around? It's like night and day. And again, my children are pretty well behaved (At least that's what everyone keeps saying to me). They are not the monsters crank calling rooms, knocking on doors, lounging across public stairways, or screaming and yelling.

 

Don't worry about the child with the DVD.

 

It's a beautiful world out there --

Get out and see it ... live it.

That's what I intend to do ... Gameboy in hand.

[SunniLicious]

Are there people who don't like it sure. But I just bet that there are a lot more people who prefer a quiet happy toddler watching Mickey Mouse Club House over a screaming toddler being removed from the dining room. I don't know, just a hunch.

 

 

Given that choice, sure. But that's such a false dichotomy to set up. There are multiple options along the way, from choosing a cruise line that is kid-friendly (and yes, I read about the circumstances that led you to reschedule on Celebrity, and choose to bring your son on the rescheduled cruise) to choosing a dining location and dining time. You could try to request a table just for your family, or request to be seated with other families with kids. You could choose to use the Fun Factory for your son instead of having him come to formal dinner.

 

The fact a DVD player is "needed" says, to me, that the situation's not child-appropriate in the first place. There are places where other guests/customers DON'T have the right to expect a certain environment: if a child uses a DVD player or Gameboy on a plane, for example, I'd think anyone complaining about the effect of that was ridiculous. Or if he were using it on the Lido Deck, that too I'd expect not to raise any eyebrows at all. But to take electronics to the table at a formal dinner at a white linen restaurant aboard a cruise ship known for elegance when many of the fellow guests will be expecting a certain environment? I guess the real question is, would anyone in this thread bring a toddler and a DVD player to a four-star land-based restaurant? If so, would you expect other customers to be unhappy?

 

FTR, while we're very blessed that my daughter is healthy, I grew up with a brother with severe ADHD, Asperger Syndrome (a form of autism), and multiple learning difficulties. I know what it's like to be part of one of those families. He couldn't handle sitting through a four-course meal, and he was a teenager! He ate in the dining room just once, and we cruised as a family three times.

[Kerry's Girls]

 

I guess the real question is, would anyone in this thread bring a toddler and a DVD player to a four-star land-based restaurant? If so, would you expect other customers to be unhappy?

 

Forgive me for straying from the point - but this made me chuckle. Any time I go to a nice restaurant (or any restaurant) lately a good majority of the adults are playing with blackberries or video ipods or iphones, etc., many with screens that I can see flickering.

 

Ok - sorry for the interruption - please continue...

[larronry]

You could choose to use the Fun Factory for your son instead of having him come to formal dinner.

 

If that were an option I would definetly consider it, however it is not. The Fun Factory does not take children until I believe 3 years old. My son will be 26 months. In room babysitting is a possibility but he's never had anyone but family (people he knows) look after him so most likely it will end up being a complete disaster. (Complaints from the neighbors about the screaming baby) He doesn't do well with strangers until after a significant warm up period. Based on what I've learned on the boards these people have to finish their day jobs first so most likely wouldn't be able to show up early enough for him to get to know him so that I could leave in time for dinner. And truthfully I don't think my husband and I would like a complete stranger in our tiny little room while we are showering and dressing for dinner.

 

 

I guess the real question is' date=' would anyone in this thread bring a toddler and a DVD player to a four-star land-based restaurant? If so, would you expect other customers to be unhappy?

 

Forgive me for straying from the point - but this made me chuckle. Any time I go to a nice restaurant (or any restaurant) lately a good majority of the adults are playing with blackberries or video ipods or iphones, etc., many with screens that I can see flickering.

 

Ok - sorry for the interruption - please continue...

I have gone to a land based nice restaurant. Not sure if it was four star or not as I didn't look it up and brought the DVD player. Oh and guess what? I was on vacation.

[katerkat]

I guess the real question is, would anyone in this thread bring a toddler and a DVD player to a four-star land-based restaurant? If so, would you expect other customers to be unhappy?

 

Actually... I have taken my son to a four-star land based restaurant recently. No DVD player, but between coloring and a small toy (and eating!), we made it most of the way through the 1 hour dinner. Near the end, he got antsy and I handed him my PDA. Instant calm, quiet and butt-in-the-seat. And I don't even have a game for him on there - he likes playing with the calculator and changing my background. Other customers couldn't even see it because we were in a booth.

 

The DVD player isn't a first resort for me. But it is one of the many things - coloring books, the PDA, small animal figures, a small train track with a couple trains, cars - in my arsenal for situations when I need him to be still. (By the way, small toys tend to be worse for him - driving a car around in front of him is a lot louder than a DVD!) I've even taken the DVD player to the gym when he wasn't feeling great, and he sat next to my treadmill and watched Little Einsteins quietly instead of going into the play area. (He wasn't sick, was just having a cling-to-Mommy day. And yes, my gym allows children in the gym.)

 

Granted, we did request a table just for our group (nine people, one of which is almost three and one who will have just turned one) on a fairly family friendly line, and I do plan on keeping the DVD player facing a wall so people aren't bothered by the flickering. But since this is a family cruise, we plan on eating as a family, not sending the kids to a babysitter unless the kids really aren't handling it well. And I consider sitting and watching a DVD quietly handling it well.

[SunniLicious]

Forgive me for straying from the point - but this made me chuckle. Any time I go to a nice restaurant (or any restaurant) lately a good majority of the adults are playing with blackberries or video ipods or iphones, etc., many with screens that I can see flickering.

 

So true - there are many, many rude adults as well. But I'm of the "two wrongs don't make a right" camp. :)

[lexxity]

Have other parents noticed how much friendlier everyone (including ship staff) is to you when the children are not around? It's like night and day.

 

No! I think you might want to try another line if this is what you are finding! We had the dining room staff begging us to bring our son to dinner and in the lido the assistant Maitre'D would help us get a highchair, carry our trays, anything to make our lives easier.

 

And I have had one, yes one negative comment about my son and he is no angel.

[bplazo]

I think that all electronics should be left at home. I have seen so many adults with computers and their cell phones in restraunts that they do not pay attention to the children. No wonder the children need a dvd.

[larronry]

I think that all electronics should be left at home. I have seen so many adults with computers and their cell phones in restraunts that they do not pay attention to the children. No wonder the children need a dvd.

Well I don't use electronics at the table and I talk to my son, but I do need a break to put a bite of food in my mouth and chew it. I won't talk with my mouth full and well my son won't always tolerate even that much. Just depends on his mood. The ever changing moment to moment who knows what causes it moods of a two year old.

 

No! I think you might want to try another line if this is what you are finding! We had the dining room staff begging us to bring our son to dinner and in the lido the assistant Maitre'D would help us get a highchair, carry our trays, anything to make our lives easier.

 

And I have had one, yes one negative comment about my son and he is no angel.

I do have to agree with that. On Princess last year I put my photo album of my son on the night stand and the Stateroom Attendant couldn't believe we left him at home. He warned us there would be babies our sons age all around us. A lot of the staff seem to like children. That was my experience on Celebrity last time I sailed as well. It was before I was a mom and the staff seemed to cater to the little ones.

[BellaWood]

I personally keep my PDA loaded with a couple of kids movies to entertain grandkids, kids visiting at work when no other provisions are available. So for a child who isn't use to a 2 hour dinner, go for it.

 

I didn't have those type of aides when my 24 year old was little and she went to many a nice restaurants. We had a rule. If they have cloth napkins it's a nice restaurant and we use our very best manners (talk softly, no eating with fingers and such). McD's was different you could use your fingers and talk in a normal voice.

 

Anywho to lighten things I just had to tell this little funny.

 

One time while traveling on the road with DD (she was 5 at the time) we stopped at a truck stop. After the waitress took our order my daughter said to her "Excuse me, what are your appetizers". I said "Sweetheart they don't have appetizers"

 

Then she said "Momma, but they have cloth napkins".

[Onessa]

. . . .with the caveat that I really do expect everyone to remain seated upon their bottoms throughout the meal and that any noise made by any of these diversions be kept to the diversionee. As long as you do not physically abuse your child, and your diversion meets the sitting and no loud noise criteria - I promise I will not judge, deride or mutter under my breath about you or your family.

 

This statement is a bit confusing so I am just clarifying. I am assuming that you have no problem with a parent removing a child before or when s/he tantrums. I get confused when you say you expect everyone to stay seated. But staying seated and the no loud noise criteria could be a problem if you don't like someone getting up to remove a child who is or is about to tantrum.

 

At SOME point everyone needs to get off of their bottoms -- or otherwise we'd all be living the rest of our lives in the Dining room. So Perry Mason:D , if someone excuses themselves to use the restroom, or to take a diversionary walk, or to leave altogether -- true, they will be temporarily off their bottoms -- but whilst at the table, everyone should be sitting "on their bottoms" -- not bouncing up and down off their chair to visit with someone on the other side of the table, not laying on the floor, not half-standing on their chair or otherwise precariously balanced, and denfinately not swinging from the chandoilers (sp??) --

And hey! if that means that your child, your teen, or your significant other needs a diversion (electronic or other) so be it! No complaints from this quarter!

[larronry]

. . . .with the caveat that I really do expect everyone to remain seated upon their bottoms throughout the meal and that any noise made by any of these diversions be kept to the diversionee. As long as you do not physically abuse your child, and your diversion meets the sitting and no loud noise criteria - I promise I will not judge, deride or mutter under my breath about you or your family.

 

 

 

At SOME point everyone needs to get off of their bottoms -- or otherwise we'd all be living the rest of our lives in the Dining room. So Perry Mason:D , if someone excuses themselves to use the restroom, or to take a diversionary walk, or to leave altogether -- true, they will be temporarily off their bottoms -- but whilst at the table, everyone should be sitting "on their bottoms" -- not bouncing up and down off their chair to visit with someone on the other side of the table, not laying on the floor, not half-standing on their chair or otherwise precariously balanced, and denfinately not swinging from the chandoilers (sp??) --

And hey! if that means that your child, your teen, or your significant other needs a diversion (electronic or other) so be it! No complaints from this quarter!

OK got it and I agree I don't like to see children running around a table either. Although I have to admit I have held my son on occasion (after the meal when everyone is chatting) usually he stays in his high chair.

[Kerry's Girls]

 

Have other parents noticed how much friendlier everyone (including ship staff) is to you when the children are not around? It's like night and day.

 

Not at all - at least not on Princess or Carnival so far. To tell you the truth, I swear it takes us an extra 20 minutes to get from one end of the ship to another because we keep getting stopped by passengers who want to talk to my daughters. As for the staff - so many of them are missing their own children that they adopt mine for the week.

 

Best,

Mia

[kaseykahnefan]

I just love it when parents think the whole world should cater to them because they have children and to *#@! With what anyone else thinks. No matter if other people's dinner in a nice resturant is disturbed. No matter if anyone else's feelings are stepped on as long as they made their point and get to do whatever they want with no regards for anyone else.

Some people on this thread are so obnoxious trying to make sure thei point is made out to be the right one they insult the ones agreeing with them.

You knew what you were doing booking a cruise, you knew there would be nice dinners and you knew people would not want to hear your kid scream but you bring them into the dining room anyway and expect everyone to cater to you. If ur kid cant handle do something else and wait until they can before bringing them in the dining room. But what does it matter what anyone says as long as they agree with you. Because od course you have kids and the world should be at your beck and call. This is the attitude i get from here.

[Onessa]

I just love it when parents think the whole world should cater to them because they have children and to *#@! With what anyone else thinks. No matter if other people's dinner in a nice resturant is disturbed. No matter if anyone else's feelings are stepped on as long as they made their point and get to do whatever they want with no regards for anyone else.

Some people on this thread are so obnoxious trying to make sure thei point is made out to be the right one they insult the ones agreeing with them.

You knew what you were doing booking a cruise, you knew there would be nice dinners and you knew people would not want to hear your kid scream but you bring them into the dining room anyway and expect everyone to cater to you. If ur kid cant handle do something else and wait until they can before bringing them in the dining room. But what does it matter what anyone says as long as they agree with you. Because od course you have kids and the world should be at your beck and call. This is the attitude i get from here.

 

Deep cleansing breath - IN and now OUT! Now that the poster has gotten that out of his/her system (oddly enough, reading it through, THIS mom interprets this post as a temper tantrum -- hopefully, kaseyfan person doesn't swear in the dining room!) -- perhaps we can get back to the original point at hand - "Is a DVD player terrible in the dining room?"

 

Kaseyfan person didn't really seem to vote on the DVD player issue, but to summarize some of the other posts, there seems to be a bit of a split as to whether a DVD player (or other electronic devices) are appropriate in the dining room. Most posters seem to feel that some diversionary devices are "ok", but some seem to draw the line when it comes to electronics.

 

Some important "take aways" from this discussion:

1. whatever diversion you may decide is appropriate for your child and your situation, be certain that it does not infringe upon others. Headphones for any electronic device or volume off. If there is an electronic display, make certain that the screen is turned away from other diners so that flickering is not an issue.
   
2. Be certain to watch your child for any signs of a "meltdown" and attempt to deal with them pre-emptively. If your diversion(s) of choice are not working, be certain to remember it is your responsiblity to "cut and run" at the first sign of problems.
   
3. Whatever you choose to do, do try to prepare yourself and your child for the dining experience. Determine what your child is capable of understanding and be certain that your child knows what is expected of him or her.

To everyone with or without kids planning a cruise, a vacation, or just a nice dinner at a "sit down" resturant - I hope you enjoy yourselves!

[kaseykahnefan]

To Onessa: If you have time to go back and read this entire post you will see that on more than one occassion I, kaseyfanperson, in fact did vote on the DVD player issue.

Onessa bring up some good points that apparently she thinks is the greatest ideas on earth and no one has ever thought of them before even there there are pages and pages of these thought.

No onessa I was not having a "temper tantrum" merely stating my opinion. Is that not allowed in the family cruise board. Or can people only state opinions that say your screaming child is the most lovely kid I have ever seen, do you think you can get him/her to scream even louder. Oh that is not quite high pitched enough, get them even louder, cmon you can do it. now turn up the volume on the dvd player so it will drown him out... okay that didn't work, hand him/her some forks and knives and spoons to play music with the water glasses. there ya go, jr. motzart.

 

So in case you don't have the time or the energy to go back and read what I wrote I can reinterate.... DVD players are okay if the the kid is small and needs something... would i bring it in, no... but am i going to care... oh darn it.... i am not going to go back and say all this again if you can't be bothered to read the entire thread and see what i said....

 

how come that one lady can say I will tell them to MYOB if bring my loud dvd players into the dining room and it bothers someone and every one goes bravo... it is because people on here seem to feel like they have kids therefore all things should be catered to them.. they should come first. and to gosh golly darn heck with everyone else. there you onessa.. is that better for you.

 

so lets make sure we encourgare jr. motzart and hand him/her our water glasses and spoons too.

[nosmothj]

I have a 3yo and a 6yo and I would never allow them to watch movies or play video games at the dinner table; at home or on a cruise. I purposely waited to cruise with my kids until they were able to go to the kids clubs. (Or I would have used the in-room babysitting.) I don't expect my kids to be able to sit quietly and still during a long, fancy dinner. (They do just fine during a casual dinner). So, I'll take the kids to dinner at the Windjammer early and then send them to AO while DH and I eat at the late seating. That way they can feel comfortable eating and then later DH and I can relax and enjoy our dinner.

 

All well and good but your kids are not hers. Are you suggesting she not cruise until later?

[kaseykahnefan]

sounds to me like she is just saying what she would do... but only she can answer that...

 

it does not appear at any point in the thread does she attempt to say the poster should leave her kid at home.

 

but way to read into it....

[larronry]

Deep cleansing breath - IN and now OUT! Now that the poster has gotten that out of his/her system (oddly enough, reading it through, THIS mom interprets this post as a temper tantrum -- hopefully, kaseyfan person doesn't swear in the dining room!) -- perhaps we can get back to the original point at hand - "Is a DVD player terrible in the dining room?"

 

Kaseyfan person didn't really seem to vote on the DVD player issue, but to summarize some of the other posts, there seems to be a bit of a split as to whether a DVD player (or other electronic devices) are appropriate in the dining room. Most posters seem to feel that some diversionary devices are "ok", but some seem to draw the line when it comes to electronics.

 

Some important "take aways" from this discussion:

1. whatever diversion you may decide is appropriate for your child and your situation, be certain that it does not infringe upon others. Headphones for any electronic device or volume off. If there is an electronic display, make certain that the screen is turned away from other diners so that flickering is not an issue.
   
2. Be certain to watch your child for any signs of a "meltdown" and attempt to deal with them pre-emptively. If your diversion(s) of choice are not working, be certain to remember it is your responsiblity to "cut and run" at the first sign of problems.
   
3. Whatever you choose to do, do try to prepare yourself and your child for the dining experience. Determine what your child is capable of understanding and be certain that your child knows what is expected of him or her.

To everyone with or without kids planning a cruise, a vacation, or just a nice dinner at a "sit down" resturant - I hope you enjoy yourselves!

 

I think you did a nice job summarizing some things other people have said. Thank you.

 

To Onessa: If you have time to go back and read this entire post you will see that on more than one occassion I, kaseyfanperson, in fact did vote on the DVD player issue.

Onessa bring up some good points that apparently she thinks is the greatest ideas on earth and no one has ever thought of them before even there there are pages and pages of these thought.

No onessa I was not having a "temper tantrum" merely stating my opinion. Is that not allowed in the family cruise board. Or can people only state opinions that say your screaming child is the most lovely kid I have ever seen, do you think you can get him/her to scream even louder. Oh that is not quite high pitched enough, get them even louder, cmon you can do it. now turn up the volume on the dvd player so it will drown him out... okay that didn't work, hand him/her some forks and knives and spoons to play music with the water glasses. there ya go, jr. motzart.

 

So in case you don't have the time or the energy to go back and read what I wrote I can reinterate.... DVD players are okay if the the kid is small and needs something... would i bring it in, no... but am i going to care... oh darn it.... i am not going to go back and say all this again if you can't be bothered to read the entire thread and see what i said....

 

how come that one lady can say I will tell them to MYOB if bring my loud dvd players into the dining room and it bothers someone and every one goes bravo... it is because people on here seem to feel like they have kids therefore all things should be catered to them.. they should come first. and to gosh golly darn heck with everyone else. there you onessa.. is that better for you.

 

so lets make sure we encourgare jr. motzart and hand him/her our water glasses and spoons too.

 

Onessa in no way said they were her ideas and in fact stated " Some important 'take aways' from this discussion" which I interpret to mean she took them away from things people were saying in various previous posts.

 

kaseykahnefan you may not be meaning to but you come off very abrupt and even a little nasty in several of your your posts. Something very easy to do on a message board without intending to and that may be the case in this situation.

 

As far as your statment "it is because people on here seem to feel like they have kids therefore all things should be catered to them.. they should come first. and to gosh golly darn heck with everyone else" I don't think anyone here feels that way. People are coming here to find the best way to cruise with their children and have them behave the best they can get them behave by getting advice from parents who have done it before them and not to be attack by those that think that parents don't care if their children misbehave.

 

As I said on another thread if out of 1000 children 5 of them have parents who don't parent them and they are out of control (or in the case of this thread don't care about the rights of the non parents) all 1000 of them will be blamed for being out of control because all people will remember is the 5.

[CanadianTwosome]

I am disgusted by ball caps in restaurants. It is a direct violation of everything I know about etiquette, and yet I see it all the time, including the dining room on my last cruise. Oh... a couple of them were being worn by adults, not just condoned by parents. Oh well, good thing I only glimpsed them on the way in or out and was completely oblivious to them while I enjoyed my delicious four course meal with my family!!

 

As someone else mentioned, if given the choice between a loud altercation resulting in a child being carried out or a quiet child being occupied by a dvd player or other electronic device... who would choose the loud disturbance? I guess I just don't understand why anyone cares so much about what other people do when it has no effect on them... unless their practice during a formal dinner is to spend their time looking at all the other patrons rather than paying attention to their companions. Even on formal nights, when I LOVE looking at what people are wearing, the only outfits I can remember are those of people walking in and out. I pay exactly ZERO attention to other, QUIET, diners. The loud ones I remember - both big and small.

 

I also thought the mention of pdas and blackberries was an interesting one. As I mentioned, I don't even notice the people around me in a restaurant that are being quiet (including children, whether amused by electronics or not), but I definitely notice when I'm conducting a presentation and I can see people texting or otherwise using their personal electronics. For those of you who do this, don't kid yourself, holding the device down low doesn't fool anyone! :p The big difference is that in a restaurant when a dvd is being used to ensure my comfort I appreciate it; when someone I expect to be paying attention to me is texting their buddy about Friday's golf game, that's rude.