Blazer and Tie okay for Formal Night?

[nycruise]

Living in Manhattan for the past 20 plus years, I can tell you that society in general gets more casual with each passing year. 20 years ago, everyone wore a suit and tie to go out to a better restaurant and Broadway show, particularly on a Saturday night. Today, you'll find anything from jeans and T-shirts to tuxedos, but the vast majority are casually dressed.

Now that Princess offers Personal Choice Dining, it seems to me that it would tend to be more casual, particularly if you are eating in one of the more casual restaurants. IMO, it's only a matter of time before the whole formal thing goes the way of the Oldsmobile.

Thanks again for the perspective

[bdjam]

[QUOTE] Now that Princess offers Personal Choice Dining, it seems to me that it would tend to be more casual, particularly if you are eating in one of the more casual restaurants. IMO, it's only a matter of time before the whole formal thing goes the way of the Oldsmobile. [/QUOTE] [font=Bookman Old Style]Again, confusion reigns. Personal Choice does not mean casual dress. The options the Anytime Dining rooms offer have nothing to do with dress – just with when you dine. The alternative restaurants (for tariff) on board are considered “upscale” according to Princess. The casual alternative – unofficially, as it’s not documented anywhere – is [/font][font=Bookman Old Style]Horizon Court[/font][font=Bookman Old Style]. [/font]

[font=Bookman Old Style]So right, you get some mingling of casual and formal in the public rooms because some choose to eat in the non-formal environment. I would be happy with Princess if they’d stick to the published dress codes in the dining rooms and alternative (for tariff – upscale) venues. Although I’m not comfortable sitting in a show in my tux next to someone in their stinky sweats that have been worn all day, I’d trade it for a formal dining experience.[/font]

[keukamom2]

OK - I have to throw my two cents in here!! I am traveling on the Coral in October with my 78 year old mother, SIL and daughter. My mother has said that if she has to go formal she would prefer to eat in her room alone, she just doesn't like getting that dressed up. I don't know how many more vacations I will have with her and want to enjoy every minute I can. So will I dress down a bit on those evenings to make her more comfortable...you bet I will. If folks get upset....so be it. I fully understand the idea of formal nights, and I hope others evenings won't be ruined by my attired. But I refuse to lose the opportunity to make memories with mom because of a suggested attire!

Just my two cents.
Sarah

[bdjam]

[quote name='keukamom2']OK - I have to throw my two cents in here!! I am traveling on the Coral in October with my 78 year old mother, SIL and daughter. My mother has said that if she has to go formal she would prefer to eat in her room alone, she just doesn't like getting that dressed up. I don't know how many more vacations I will have with her and want to enjoy every minute I can. So will I dress down a bit on those evenings to make her more comfortable...you bet I will. If folks get upset....so be it. I fully understand the idea of formal nights, and I hope others evenings won't be ruined by my attired. But I refuse to lose the opportunity to make memories with mom because of a suggested attire!

Just my two cents.
Sarah[/QUOTE][font=Bookman Old Style]Here’s two more – rather than risk your mother being uncomfortable casually dressed with a formal crowd, how about a nice quiet dinner for two in your room. That’s what I’d do – the quality alone time with my Mom would be worth it. Of course my 82 year old mother wouldn't miss a chance to dress up.[/font]

[srphnx]

[b][color=black]So glad I am going on a cruise on Sunday rather than debating this for the 30th time. Good luck to all involved, my freshly pressed tux is on top of the bag waiting for longshoreman related wrinkles from gentle baggage handling.[/color][/b]

[sultan_sfo]

See -- you have a very good reason -- so in my books you are exempt.
However, as others have mentioned, the formal nite is also an occassion to have formal pictures taken both at the Captain.s cocktail and then the roving photographer in the dining room. If the family is appropriately (not necessarily formal formal) dressed for these "Kodak" moments during that evening, you will never regret it. /Sultan

[bdjam]

[QUOTE] See -- you have a very good reason -- so in my books you are exempt. [/QUOTE] [font='Bookman Old Style']Nope, nope, nope…can’t have exemptions. Then everyone will want one. How about a nice dinner for two and some quality alone time in Horizon Court?[/font]

[catmand]

[font=Comic Sans MS][/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]I spent the morning on another board reading someone who expounded the rational of formal nights as "nothing more than a sham to get people to spend money on photography" and "those of us who truly know when formal wear is proper, laugh at the idea of a formal evening onboard a cruiseship, you have to supply a formal product to warrent formal attire".[/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]and on our board this thread, well I can say I was once again quoted by the only person who has ever insulted me, well at least it hasn't been dull. [/font]

[spongerob]

[quote name='keukamom2']OK - I have to throw my two cents in here!! I am traveling on the Coral in October with my 78 year old mother, SIL and daughter. My mother has said that if she has to go formal she would prefer to eat in her room alone, she just doesn't like getting that dressed up. I don't know how many more vacations I will have with her and want to enjoy every minute I can. So will I dress down a bit on those evenings to make her more comfortable...you bet I will. If folks get upset....so be it. I fully understand the idea of formal nights, and I hope others evenings won't be ruined by my attired. But I refuse to lose the opportunity to make memories with mom because of a suggested attire!

Just my two cents.
Sarah[/QUOTE]
No, I'm sorry, all attempts to pull at our heartstrings and curry sympathy to rationalize behavior that would be considered less than appropriate do not fly. In fact, that argument borders upon manipulative. The statement you have made has no more merit than any other attempts to rationalize your behavior, nor should there be any justification in using your mother's age to knowingly cause offense.

[bdjam]

[quote name='catmand']

[font=Comic Sans MS]I spent the morning on another board reading someone who expounded the rational of formal nights as "nothing more than a sham to get people to spend money on photography" and "those of us who truly know when formal wear is proper, laugh at the idea of a formal evening onboard a cruiseship, you have to supply a formal product to warrent formal attire".[/font]

[font=Comic Sans MS]and on our board this thread, well I can say I was once again quoted by the only person who has ever insulted me, well at least it hasn't been dull. [/font][/QUOTE] [font=Bookman Old Style]No worries Cat – I’ve been insulted by the same poster. I find that if I insult the poster back, he or she goes away. But you my friend are above that…so let it go like water off the duck’s back.[/font]

[font=Bookman Old Style]I like the way the other posters think formal nights are a way to get photos sold – and think less of a formal night on a cruise ship. And they’ve called me elitist. The fact of the matter is that the cruise line [i]is[/i] trying to supply a formal product…it’s the passengers in the high-heel flip-flops that keep messing it up.[/font]
[QUOTE] The statement you have made has no more merit than any other attempts to rationalize your behavior, nor should there be any justification in using your mother's age to knowingly cause offense. [/QUOTE] :D :eek: :D
[font='Bookman Old Style']Where do I go to get the Articulation lessons?[/font]

[bdjam]

[font='Bookman Old Style']Sorry – one post too many... :o [/font]

[spongerob]

Brian, I'm going to book ANY cruise out of SF just so I have a good excuse to go there and buy you a BIG drink.:D

[sultan_sfo]

One objective of these formal / non-formal dress codes discussion can be an effort to persuade the hardnosed to change their views (on either side). We consider the formal portraits as a real bargain -- no charge unless one wishes to buy one. One photographer was so good that we asked him to sign the portrait. Boy -- was he flattered. He got the department to buy a especial silver ink gel pen to sign it. /Sultan

[bdjam]

[quote name='spongerob']Brian, I'm going to book ANY cruise out of SF just so I have a good excuse to go there and buy you a BIG drink.:D[/QUOTE][font='Bookman Old Style']If you book a cruise out of [/font][font='Bookman Old Style']San Francisco[/font][font='Bookman Old Style'], let me know and I’ll book it too. You can buy me a drink at the first formal night. And make it a BIG one too![/font]
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[font='Bookman Old Style'] :D :D <----- me and 'rob...[/font]

[catmand]

[font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]excuse me, am I chopped liver? Many a great cruise sailing out of S.F. only 28 days to go for ours...........I will take a large Dr. Pepper, please. And I happen to have a photo with me, AkaWanda, our grandson, daughter and son-in-law on formal night, and I thought he didn't know how to knot a tie.......everyone cleaned up real nice.[/size][/font]
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[font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]addendum: how is it that bdjam has only 300+ posts?...yes I know we all lost several but come on, an elder statesman with 300+ posts???[/size][/font]

[keukamom2]

[quote name='spongerob']No, I'm sorry, all attempts to pull at our heartstrings and curry sympathy to rationalize behavior that would be considered less than appropriate do not fly. In fact, that argument borders upon manipulative. The statement you have made has no more merit than any other attempts to rationalize your behavior, nor should there be any justification in using your mother's age to knowingly cause offense.[/QUOTE]

I take HUGE issue with your telling me I would in anyway use my mother's age to rationalize my behavior!!
Think what you will, I was simply putting a different spin for those who don't dress to the nines for formal nights. I have no intentions of eating in my room or in the Horizon Court, I am one of those who will wear a nice short dress on formal night but not glitz. My mom will wear a nice pants suit and we will eat in the dining room where she prefers. If Princess has an issue with the way we are dressed, I am sure they will address it with us.

[Kami's pal]

I travelled with my 76 year old mother. She loved getting dressed up but was afraid that her formal, a long brocade dress with jacket, would look dowdy. In her words, "this looks like what my mother wore!" This was 2001 on Alaska cruise. She wanted to hide in her room. My daughter, a slim marathon runner, mountain climber outdoors type also felt uncomfortable donning cocktail gown. She wore sarong type skirt, sleeveless silky camisole, borrowed jewelry from Mom and Gram, and a lacy wrap. I wore a back velour pant suit with bare shoulders and a lacy top. Applying make up was fun. Doing each others' hair, zips, eyes, blush, perfume (SUBTLE!) etc was fun. Yes, we were not as glamorous as the beaded, sequined, low cut sheath designer gowns, on high heels, but they were conspicuous (rightly so) and we blended in quite comfortably.

Hiding away from the formal dining experience, when the dining room looks so special, and missing the special menu, the flaming dessert parades, the extra "entertainment", the festive ambiance would be a shame! Try to encourage your mother to go. When everyone dresses for the evening, a magic fantasy atmosphere is created. In my experience, this livens a sea day. If you can, book a hair/pedicure/manicure appointment for mom, (or all the women), add a massage on the next formal day, well you get the picture. As a senior I find I feel intimidated by the youthful beauty. Your insistence that mother is lovely will help her feel cherished and special.
Yes, it's all very frivolous, but we so seldom get to indulge.

And, there is something special about having your partner take off his dinner jacket to place solicitously around your shoulders as you go to watch a spectacular sunset on deck. AS the song says, "Memories are made of this." Dancing, if you are lucky enough to still have your partner, seems so glamorous in fancy ball room dress. There definately is a party atmoshere. Check out the dinner show, the lounges, the late night buffet. Don't be in a hurry to change back into something casual. Try on the outfits to ensure they are comfortable. The days of girdles, corsets etc. are gone. We can find glamorous party dresses that fit. If your mother can no longer suffer the high heels, bring a dressy low heeled sandle.
Enjoy.

[spongerob]

[quote name='keukamom2']I take HUGE issue with your telling me I would in anyway use my mother's age to rationalize my behavior!!
[/QUOTE]My apologies then. The information was included, I assume, for a reason. These arguments always seem to follow the same path. Sooner or later someone has to rationalize their disregard of the formal night guidelines with some kind of excuse, such as, it's just, "suggested," or, "I dress up for work and don't want to during my cruise." The fact is, I have much more respect for those who are forthright enough to state that they don't want to play the game but will respect the wishes of the staff and crew who are trying to put on the event, versus those who demand to participate on their own terms using whatever justification they can dredge up.

None of us know for sure how many vacations we have left. That's why I approach each one as if it were my last.

[spongerob]

[quote name='catmand'][font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]excuse me, am I chopped liver?[/size][/font][font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]??[/size][/font][/QUOTE]
There's a Pittsburg in California? Well, I'll be. Sure, come along, bring the wife.:)

[Ethel5]

Isn't this what it boils down to?

The OP wanted to know if a blazer was OK. Isn't he really saying "I don't want to conform to the rules so do I have permission to ignore them."

So while we're exploring this avenue, what about all those ladies who feel it's OK to wear a bikini even though they have enough fat to be mistaken by the whale watching tour guide?

And how about the smokers who feel they can light up anywhere just because they paid for a cruise and I can just not breathe?

Let's not forget the ones who marinate themselves in perfume thus making my dinner taste like Obsession.

OK, I used to be one that wore formal and changed after dinner but after reading these boards (Thanks BDJAM) I stay dressed all night because that's what the rules require.

[WillB]

[quote name='Ethel5']The OP wanted to know if a blazer was OK. Isn't he really saying "I don't want to conform to the rules so do I have permission to ignore them."[/QUOTE]

Naw, he didn't want any advice. He was already was anti-formal. Look at his post at the top of page three. He had a definite opinion from the get-go and just thought it would be fun to be an O'agent provocateur.

By the way, someone asked what a dinner jacket is. It's an off-white jacket worn over black tuxedo slacks. When I go on a cruise that is more than two formal nights, I usually take that in addition to my tux, just to break things up.

[Opinions]

[quote name='WillB']

By the way, someone asked what a dinner jacket is. It's an off-white jacket worn over black tuxedo slacks. When I go on a cruise that is more than two formal nights, I usually take that in addition to my tux, just to break things up.[/QUOTE]
Back in the seventies and eighties dinner jackets came in all different colors...I had a pale blue one also a paisley jacket...They were quite acceptable then...Now they are complaining about a blue blazer.

[woodofpine]

I cruise with my elderly mom too. She loves it. She's a double amputee, toting both colostomy and super-pubic catheter bags. She wouldn't think of dressing inappropriately on formal night. Neither should you; your mom suggested room service - Go for It!

[keukamom2]

[quote name='woodofpine']I cruise with my elderly mom too. She loves it. She's a double amputee, toting both colostomy and super-pubic catheter bags. She wouldn't think of dressing inappropriately on formal night. Neither should you; your mom suggested room service - Go for It![/QUOTE]


My mom didn't suggest room service - someone on this board suggested that she should not go to the dining room. I'm glad your mom enjoys the glitz and glamour, mine doesn't. Enough said!

[bdjam]

[quote name='keukamom2']My mom didn't suggest room service - someone on this board suggested that she should not go to the dining room. I'm glad your mom enjoys the glitz and glamour, mine doesn't. Enough said![/QUOTE] [font=Bookman Old Style][size=2]Well, not quite enough…you did indicate your mother would rather eat alone in her room than dress and come to the dining room. And my suggestion – since you were concerned of quality time with her – was that you join her for some one on one time.[/size][/font]

[font=Bookman Old Style][size=2]But another poster did mention something interesting, which shows that women, unfortunately, have an advantage when it comes to formal dress. There’s much more latitude in women’s clothes to make something casual look dressy. Take for example the woman on my last Regal Princess cruise who wore black slacks and a white blouse, which she tied up with a bow tie – that’s it…she looked pretty darn formal compared to some on board.
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[QUOTE] OK, I used to be one that wore formal and changed after dinner but after reading these boards (Thanks BDJAM) I stay dressed all night because that's what the rules require. [/QUOTE] [font=Bookman Old Style][size=2]You’re welcome, but I hope I haven’t put upon you anything you want to do. I think Princess is trying to provide a cruise experience that will appeal to the more formal of us and the more casual of us. My friend ‘rob has stated my feelings about the whole formal night issue – passengers who disregard the wishes of those who want to involve themselves in a formal event, or who put it on, and then try to come up with some viable justification for doing so.
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[QUOTE] [font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]excuse me, am I chopped liver?[/size][/font][font=Comic Sans MS][size=3]??[/size][/font][/QUOTE] [font=Bookman Old Style][size=2]Absolutely not, Cat…I just lost my mind when I saw the offer for a free drink! You come right along…I’ll pick you up and drive us to the pier![/size][/font]
:D :D :D[font=Bookman Old Style] <------ a portrait of Cat, 'rob and me on formal night...[/font]
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