Freedom Review 3/16 (Anytime dining, boxing rings and Men in Speedos)

[mysparky]

What was interesting to me, though, is that on the third day of the cruise, I wasn't in love with it yet. Instead, I was sitting around trying to figure out if the cruise was worth it. I liked the cruise but, at that point, I was certain if it was worth the money. By the end of the week, however, I became an avid fan. I think it just took time for me to figure it all out and to learn how to enjoy it. When I stopped trying to have so much fun, I wound up having a better time. By the end of the week, my favorite thing to do was to sit on the balcony and just watch the ocean go by. Sometimes the simple things are the best.

 

Skipop -

I felt exactly this way on my first cruise for 2 solid days and I really didn't understand what the hype was all about. I figured that I'm so used to going, going, going, that I didn't know how to bring it down several notches! Fortunately, I figured it out by day 3 and now I'm hooked as well.

[kingsgirl]

 

One family had four towels on lounge chairs that were not being used while they also occupied a table 12 feet away so they could play dominoes for over an hour. Pool cop came by, removed their towels when they weren’t looking and we pounced on the chairs. When they saw us sitting there and demanded we give them the chairs back, we just acted like we didn’t understand English. Very effective tool.

 

 

OMG sooo funny!!

[ehfl]

You mentioned not being able to attend many of the shows. Do you think if you had stuck with one of the assigned seating times, you would have seen more?

[OnlyonthursRX7]

 

Why is there a “champagne bar” right across the promenade from the “wine bar”? Should bars really be that specialized? My wife drinks champagne and I drink wine. We didn't see each other all week as a result.

 

Have you ever passed gas in a crowded hot tub just because you could?

 

 

BWHAHAH!! ahh this was hilarious. thank you for the review!!!

[skipop]

You mentioned not being able to attend many of the shows. Do you think if you had stuck with one of the assigned seating times, you would have seen more?

 

It wouldn't have made a diffference for us, but I suppose it could make it easier for some. For us, the issue was that there were so many other things to do, we never made time for the shows. It simply wasn't a priority for us. Also, working out in the gym at 5:00 or 5:30 most nights made it tougher to go to the shows because we wound up eating later. If we had gone to a show earlier in the week and liked it, we probably would have found a way to go to more shows. So, in short, if we had moved it up the list of priorities, me and my blue underwear would have been to more shows.

[RetireeWannabee]

I have no problem with teeny weeny bikinis ("TWB") on any women. In fact, I think we should encourage greater use of such items. God invented tequila for a reason. Tequila provides no help on the speedo problem, but great help on the TWB problem.

 

(All kidding aside, I actually admire people that are that comfortable with themselves that they can bare almost all. The more I can hide of myself, the better I am (and the community as well).

 

I would have to down A LOT of tequila to wear a bikini. I'm not that large (as I am blessed to have a small frame so can fool myself and others while wearing normal clothes) but ... I dunno. The girls like their coverage. Popping out when I sit up or get out of the pool would be a bit too exhibitionist for me. The older I get, the less fun this would be for anyone in range unless they start selling T by the bottle poolside.

 

But it sure is great to read that you are ok with Any Woman wearing a bikini. Next cruise you should prob'ly smuggle tequila cuz you just don't know what a Pandora's Box you may have opened...

[txskier]

most excellent and FUNNY review

[RichardE954]

Tweeney weenie bikinis and light blue briefs, this sounds like quite a cruise! When are the pictures going to be posted?

[skipop]

Tweeney weenie bikinis and light blue briefs, this sounds like quite a cruise! When are the pictures going to be posted?

 

The wife, as the British say, "tends to frown on" me taking pictures of scantily clad bathers, whether such bathers are Paula Abdul or Paula Deen. For those of you who aren't British, "tends to frown on" means "beats the snot out of" in American English. Accordingly, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed had control of the camera most of the week. (P.S. As the "Butt Crack Kid" was under 18 years old, I didn't want to risk taking that picture for obvious reasons).

 

Here's another cruise tip for husbands that I haven't seen on these Boards. Take extra Advil along on the trip for those pains in the neck caused by looking at TWBs in the presence of your spouse while trying not to look like you're looking at TWBs. I found 4 Advil every hour or so took the edge off the strained neck. If you ever get caught looking sideways at TWBs, just turn to the spouse and say "I just don't get why women get fake ones." That's a marriage saver!

[hipster1]

The wife, as the British say, "tends to frown on" me taking pictures of scantily clad bathers, whether such bathers are Paula Abdul or Paula Deen. For those of you who aren't British, "tends to frown on" means "beats the snot out of" in American English. Accordingly, She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed had control of the camera most of the week. (P.S. As the "Butt Crack Kid" was under 18 years old, I didn't want to risk taking that picture for obvious reasons).

 

Here's another cruise tip for husbands that I haven't seen on these Boards. Take extra Advil along on the trip for those pains in the neck caused by looking at TWBs in the presence of your spouse while trying not to look like you're looking at TWBs. I found 4 Advil every hour or so took the edge off the strained neck. If you ever get caught looking sideways at TWBs, just turn to the spouse and say "I just don't get why women get fake ones." That's a marriage saver!

 

 

Bottles of tequilla, tubs of advil, still cant take the pain outta paulaX2 in a TWB!.

[TNT]

Hey, Skipop- How many wearing Speedos also had a mullet? That's always a good look!;)

[Jiffymom]

To bad we didn't get to know each other. Our families had two JS just down from you and we were at all the same outings. Except we went to the Royal Palm beach in Grand Cayman and probably swam with you and the dolphin. We decided would always request deck 9 rather than 10. Yes it was a little to noisy for us. Loved the ship and food. I think we might try anytime dinning next. My grandkids loved the the adventure club, pools and great food service. That was one plus we really got to know our waiter and he would always have chocolate milk waiting for one girl and lemonade for the other girl. fresh chopped lettuce with no tomatoes for the salad, he sure did spoil all of us. He would remember from night to night what our favorites were. They also did some fun magic tricks to entertain the girls while we waited for our meal. This is one reason I am torn between main seating or anytime dinning.

We loved the promenade. Great place for ice cream and people watch. Seattles Best was great good coffee and great goodies.

We are Diamond members and really didn't use the lounge often. I didn't care to go up to the viking lounge just for a cocktail and truthfully she wasn't that friendly. Maybe if I had the late seating I would use it more often. Having to be dressed for 6 o'clock dinner was hard enough but getting ready by 5 just for cocktails was a real hassle. Very few people in the lounge. My husband took advantage and would go while I was finishing getting ready.

Our cabin a JS was beautiful.

[pell]

If you ever get caught looking sideways at TWBs, just turn to the spouse and say "I just don't get why women get fake ones." That's a marriage saver!

Skipop, you are a riot, blue briefs and all!!! Thanks for the great review and for the gut-wrenching laughs.

[skipop]

To bad we didn't get to know each other. Our families had two JS just down from you and we were at all the same outings.

 

I agree, what a shame. We must have seen each other a bunch of times. I was the guy is the speedo with the mullet and the strained neck and my wife was the rather large women in the TWB with the central european accent.

[IBookHePays]

Please...tell me another story...I'm having too good a time for you to stop now......:D

[welove2cruisedou]

HI Skipop,

My email address is wecruise4fun@yahoo.com . If you still want to send me the copies of the cruise compasses. Would love to see what goes on for the week. I would think it would be the same for my May sailing. Your review has me laughing all day.:D

[3brothersboston]

I agree, what a shame. We must have seen each other a bunch of times. I was the guy is the speedo with the mullet and the strained neck and my wife was the rather large women in the TWB with the central european accent.

 

Skipop

 

If you don't already have a career in journalism you should. Seriously. I know the hours at Walmart are good but at least think about it.

 

You slayed me. Very very very funny. I want to pay for you to join us on our next cruise to narrate everything that is going on around us, sort of like Kevin in "The Wonder Years". You give David Sedaris a run for his money.

 

Thanks for making me laugh OUT LOUD this morning. I needed a good laugh when I saw that the snow may impact our departure.

 

You are one funny guy.

[skipop]

Please...tell me another story...I'm having too good a time for you to stop now......:D

 

Alright, I’ll bite. My family’s out of town this weekend, so I’m “Home Alone” waiting until 11:00 am so I can start making Margaritas. My thoughts on the Muster Drill (this being my first one).

 

The Muster Drill. In short, never has something that took so little time been so weird an experience. (Of course, that’s what my wife said on our wedding night. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink)). Since we paid attention to what we were told by the Daily Compass, we dutifully donned our sporty orange vests at the appropriate time and headed down the 37 flights of deck stairs to our appointed station. When we first arrived at our station, there were only about 10 other people there. In front of us, was the crew member assigned to our specific muster station who was supposed to assist us in the event of emergency. Who was it? A female ice skater from Australia who stood about 3 foot 4 inches tall, weighed 65 pounds and was cute as a button. Unfortunately, that’s the description of someone I want to see as “the too drunk girl at the end of the bar,” not someone that’s supposed to help me in an emergency if we have to abandon ship. Personally, I would prefer an East German Swimmer over an Aussie ice skating waif who looked like the poster girl for Les Miserables. What was she going to do in an emergency? Triple Lutz us into the boat?

 

During the muster, we had the usual assortment of people who aren’t the brightest bulbs in the chandelier. These are the types of people who are the reason that companies put directions on shampoo bottles and toothpaste.

 

We had one woman in high heels. I’m talking those kinds of “pumps” that are frequently preceded with a word beginning with the letter immediately following “E” in the alphabet and then the words “me pumps”. [Ed. Note. I’m just testing the censors to see what you can get away with in here before crossing the lines.] We had people taking pictures. Why would you want a picture of the Muster Drill? That’s like the Donner Party saying “let’s get a group shot before we start making dinner.”

 

So, it’s now later in the drill and more people are showing up. We continually and continually have to move closer and closer to complete strangers. By the time every one was there, we were packed in so tightly that the woman in front of me was closer than a lap dancer. In fact, I rolled up a $20 bill at the end of the drill, handed it to her and said “Thanks.” I spent most of the drill talking to the lady on my right who smiled and laughed at everything I said. We had a great time. The women behind was complaining that she couldn’t hear any of the instructions. I reassured her by saying, I wouldn’t worry about it. If anything happens, find me because in the event of an emergency, I plan on plowing down everyone in front of me to get on the life boat. (Speaking of which, are the Coke Cards good on the lifeboat?) So, if you ever find yourself on a cruise with someone named skipop, stand behind him at the Muster station, not in front of.

 

The Muster Drill went on for about 613 minutes. At the end, the Captain comes on the speaker in his reassuring voice and starts discussing the Muster Drill. Only one problem. He had such a thick accent, no one could understand him (other than the two Norwegians on the cruise). In the event of an emergency, I can just see the Captain coming on the announcement speaker saying: “Proceed to your muster station and abandon ship!” which I’ll mistake for “Please come to the pool deck for free Pina Coladas at the bar located by the Butt Crack Kid!”

 

[side note: One nice thing about the Muster Drill deck is that shuffle board courts are located there. So, in the event of an emergency, you’ll have something to do while the ship is slowly sinking. I’m not really sure what I want to be doing when I depart this world (e.g., parachuting, extreme skiing, hang gliding, etc..), but I’m pretty sure I don’t want people at my funeral saying, “At least he went out playing shuffle board.”]

 

Anyway, back to the Muster. We end the Drill and it’s now time for 4,000 people to squeeze through two doors and return to their rooms at the exact same time. My guess is that the end of the Muster Drill is more like what an actual emergency would be like than the beginning. It looked like a giant human hour glass with 4000 humans trying to squeeze through a little hole two humans at a time. During the final moments of the Muster Drill, and while waiting to get back in the ship, I started saying goodbye to the women to whom I had been talking most of the Drill. It was at this point that I realized she spoke no English. I kid you not. I had been talking to some poor women for 15 minutes who had no idea what I was saying. She was just smiling and laughing. Reminded me of the joke in the Movie “Arthur” where Dudley Moore turns to Liza Minnelli in the restaurant and says “You’re a hooker? I just thought I was really doing great.” [Go see the movie to figure that one out]

 

Last thoughts on Muster Drill. Did anyone else find it ironic that on the Titanic, the people staying in the cheaper lodgings were trapped below deck and couldn’t get out, whereas today it’s a short jaunt for them to the life boats. Instead, it’s the people in the more expensive lodgings on the top of the ship that will have to fight their way down to escape. So, be nice to all those people in the Dining Rooms who are wearing T-Shirts. They’ll already be on the life boat having their first Coco Loco by the time you get there.

[IBookHePays]

Thanks for the morning laugh! I think I was talking to the same smiling lady on our last muster drill!

[skipop]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It was fun to write.

 

Over the weekend, I booked our next cruise. Independance in April 2009 (8 night eastern caribbean). I went over to the roll call board to see if anyone had already set up a thread and not only is there already a thread for that cruise, but I think they're on page 6. Good God. I swear you could start a new roll call thread and say your cruising in March 15, 2055 and someone would post within three minutes saying that they were already booked on that cruise and had started to pack.

 

Cheers to all.

[SherriZ366]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It was fun to write.

 

Over the weekend, I booked our next cruise. Independance in April 2009 (8 night eastern caribbean). I went over to the roll call board to see if anyone had already set up a thread and not only is there already a thread for that cruise, but I think they're on page 6. Good God. I swear you could start a new roll call thread and say your cruising in March 15, 2055 and someone would post within three minutes saying that they were already booked on that cruise and had started to pack.

 

Cheers to all.

Similar thing happened to me for IOS on Jan. 10, 2009. We are up to 14 people for the M&M.

[hipster1]

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It was fun to write.

 

Over the weekend, I booked our next cruise. Independance in April 2009 (8 night eastern caribbean). I went over to the roll call board to see if anyone had already set up a thread and not only is there already a thread for that cruise, but I think they're on page 6. Good God. I swear you could start a new roll call thread and say your cruising in March 15, 2055 and someone would post within three minutes saying that they were already booked on that cruise and had started to pack.

 

Cheers to all.

 

 

Talk about nuts..balconys are already SOLD OUT..thats a year away!

[mkca]

Skipop love your stories.

I have something to add for the Muster Drill. We were on the Enchantment in December and grabbed our pretty orange PFD's (Personal Floatation Device) and went out to our assigned area. As we were about to get into the nice neat lines, my husband was told he had to go back to his room and get some shoes on:eek: !!

It seems you are not going to be allowed to get on the lifeboat without shoes!! So if anybody is on a ship when it is sinking, make sure you grab your shoes or they wont let you on!!

We were with another couple and had bets on if my DH would really go to the room and come back up. He was pretty ticked that he had to squeeze back through the door and back to the room fighting the flow of people. All the time wearing his PFD and making sure nobody stepped on his toes!!

Crazy stuff!!;)

[welove2cruisedou]

Skipop-

Thanks for sending me the Cruise Compasses. I really appreciate it. Now I can plan my cruise for each day. Hopefully, my husband and I will have as much fun as you had. But then again what is there not to love about a cruise.

Your pretty detailed about the " Muster Drill" I cracked up laughing reading the whole review. I am usually the one taking pictures, they make for a great laugh. Keep up with the reviews, everyone seems to be enjoying your comedy.:D

[alwayshappytocruise]

"That’s the functional equivalent of a wine lover drinking only Chateau Laffite Rothschild or MD 20-20."

 

Love this quote...ah, the old Mad Dog days, thought I was the only one!! Rubbing alcohol flavored with grape juice if I remember correctly. Now that I'm all grown up and a true wine aficianado (aka wino) I no longer indulge....probably would die a horrible death if I even tried. Thanks for the memory, I was the MD chug queen (not something to be particularly proud of but hey, I was a mere babe only 20 y/o)