Breastfeeding, Just Curious!!

[sas80]

What a nice story! I have been pleasantly surprised by some of the reactions I have gotten from people while breastfeeding. Although I have also experienced the "invisibility factor" more often. PP is right: sometimes people pretend that you aren't there while you are BF. I find it useful to just interject into the conversation if I am part of a group. Most of the time people will pick up on your cue that BF is a normal thing. If you act like it is no big deal, often they will follow suit. If they don't, that is their own problem! I do my best to be discreet and conscious of my surroundings. But if someone is uncomfortable, they can remove themselves if they wish.:)

 

I really feel as if we American women have to take back the right to breastfeed in public...

 

Obviously that is a bigger situation than my mere words can tackle - and maybe it's because I am of a different generation than my mother or grandmother that I thumb my nose at going out of my way to be overly discreet in order to not risk offending anyone BUT breastfeeding should be my right, not something that could be considered socially offensive - like passing loud gas in public. Employers should go out of their way to let lactating mothers have the time they need to pump in a location that is desirable to our sensibilities (i.e: not a bathroom)

 

Okay, I'm down off my soap box. I just wish the topic was something that was "not a topic". We don't debate over someone's right to blow their nose in public.....why does breastfeeding cause such a stir?

[khm1]

I really feel as if we American women have to take back the right to breastfeed in public...

 

Obviously that is a bigger situation than my mere words can tackle - and maybe it's because I am of a different generation than my mother or grandmother that I thumb my nose at going out of my way to be overly discreet in order to not risk offending anyone BUT breastfeeding should be my right, not something that could be considered socially offensive - like passing loud gas in public. Employers should go out of their way to let lactating mothers have the time they need to pump in a location that is desirable to our sensibilities (i.e: not a bathroom)

 

Okay, I'm down off my soap box. I just wish the topic was something that was "not a topic". We don't debate over someone's right to blow their nose in public.....why does breastfeeding cause such a stir?

I agree 150%!!! Right on!;)

[QTMichele]

I just wanted to add my support for you to do what is best for you! If you're comfortable nursing your child in public, then go for it! :D I've nursed my girls anywhere and everywhere (including standing up while waiting in line at Disney World... ugh! A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. :D) and have NEVER regretted it. Instead of feeling like I was the "guilty" party by making someone potentially uncomfortable, I turned the table on that out-of-date thinking by remembering that I would be a horrible mother by NOT nurishing my child. ;)

[niso2]

I did breastfeed my baby on our first cruise and found that it was not at all a problem. No one gave me weird stares or comments- Now, when I went back to work-there have been plently of comments of how "disgusting" women are when they breast feed- I find it annoying and simply crude that our some in our society have that opinion.

I say go for it and have a great time!

[sabbie]

. The only issue I have had breastfeeding in public is the beach. Hot sweaty sandy baby and hot sweaty sandy mommy do not make for a good nursing combination.

While I almost exclusively breast feed, I will be bringing a few bottles of formula for the excursions just in case we can't find a quiet spot.

Some people are idiots though and some will notice what you are doing and some will stare even if you have a cover. I find it helpful to stare right back until they get the message:)

 

 

I just want to say that personally as a FL gal we go to the beach quite a bit and that is the one place I really feel the most comfortable not using something to cover myself. I usually use a wet wipe to clean the major sand off DS face and myself and toss a towel over his head just until we get latched on and then remove it. Half the people are showing more then I am and swimsuits are so easy to just push over and so even if he pulls off I get covered up quickly. Believe me on a beach there is much more interesting things to look at then a women breastfeeding so if they are looking for a show they can find it elsewhere. As a side note to feeding on the beach I don't know what age your child is but DS is 7 months and so we are also doing solid food and we love the Boon Squirt Spoon. Prefill the spoon container and then just squeeze the food out onto the spoon, works great and so much easier then bringing jars along.

[Baxter]

We don't debate over someone's right to blow their nose in public.....why does breastfeeding cause such a stir?

 

We don't debate about the right to blow one's nose in public, but people certainly do pass judgement if it is not done in ways that are deemed socially appropriate (e.g., blowing without a tissue, or blowing too loudly). Don't get me wrong -- I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding wherever the need arises. But I agree with some of the previous posters who've alluded to the fact that it should be done with some consideration to those around.

[kitty9]

HAHAHAHAHA Sas! I agree with what you said but you still crack me up the way you put things. :D

 

I can't see why a breast (feeding a child) is sexual either. And I for one would not like to eat with a blanket over MY head. ;)

 

But I think it all depends on what area you are from as far as comfort level. It seems like southern women have been taught not to just "whip it out". ;)

 

 

HEY, it's the men in American society who make the female breast a sexual object. It sure isn't us women !!!!! Go to Europe or any other non-US country and this isn't even a issue--women's breasts are for taking care of her children. I'll give you all an excellent example of American men and breasts. I was on a ship leaving the port of Monte Carlo. A huge private yacht came along side of our ship (a Seabourn ship that's also quite small with only 180 passengers), and on the top deck of the yacht were four lovely, topless ladies. One American man yelled "topless on the port side". Well, you would have thought these men had never seen a breast before---they literally ran over to the port railings. BUT, it was just the American men. Well, a few minutes after this, the Captain came over the loudspeaker and said "Will the gentlemen who are viewing the lovely private yacht on the port side, please take turns as you're causing a severe list of our ship to the port side".

[Onessa]

My own preference was always to find a quiet spot more for my comfort and for my DD (she was easily distracted while feeding). I took advantange of the "excuse" to find a quiet spot.

 

That being said, I have no problem with other mothers breastfeeding whereever they and their child are comfortable.

[crusinmama06]

Captain came over the loudspeaker and said "Will the gentlemen who are viewing the lovely private yacht on the port side, please take turns as you're causing a severe list of our ship to the port side".

 

OMG I seriously just busted out laughing, to the point that my oldest said to me "Why are you laughing at your computer?" :rolleyes:

 

That is the funniest thing ever!

[wanderingfool]

Go with what you're comfortable with. That being said, you're never going to see any of these people again, and if it bothers anyone so much, they don't have to look!

 

I breastfed my son on the ship, in public, when he was 6 and 9 months old. I did leave the dining room on the first cruise, but only we were seated in the center of the room, next to the Captain's table - not very discreet as people tended to be gawking at the Captain a lot and taking photos. Ugh. So I went to the closest public room (which happened to be a lounge) instead! No one said a thing. :)

 

On the second cruise, I remember being at the pool and pulling a chair into the shade so that my son could have a "snack" and no one minded. He refuses/refused to be covered up but really, you can't see anything anyway. You could see a lot more skin on other ladies due to some of the teeny bikinis they wore to the pool, versus my "exposed" breast which was overtaken by my hungry baby. :)

 

I didn't get any dirty looks, or comments to "cover up", for what it's worth.

[megnsamsgracie]

I never BF a baby on a cruise because all mine were weaned. But I did nurse walking about Walt Disney World for 2 weeks! I had this coverup that had a bit of wire in the top part so you velcro'd it around you and it was VERY lightweight.. the wire made it so you could peek in and see the baby! I LOVED it!

 

I say go for it! I wish I wasnt so nervous nursing my older 2!

[njtwinmom]

I'm fine with women who breastfeed their babies in public if done discretely. I'm not fine when I see a woman expose everything. Once in Disney while we were waiting for a show to start, a woman behind us took off her top and started to BF her baby. People starting snickering and making comments. We moved because we were uncomfortable. I think she did that on purpose to get a reaction from people.

 

You did mention that you would be breastfeeding a 17month old. It wouldn't bother me, but you normally don't see many people breastfeeding an older child, so some people might stare or make comments. But, don't worry and do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

[wanderingfool]

I'm fine with women who breastfeed their babies in public if done discretely. I'm not fine when I see a woman expose everything. Once in Disney while we were waiting for a show to start, a woman behind us took off her top and started to BF her baby. People starting snickering and making comments. We moved because we were uncomfortable. I think she did that on purpose to get a reaction from people.

 

:eek: Unless she was feeding twins and using both breasts at once (doesn't sound like it, and even then...), it sounds like her top-removing style was absolutely unnecessary. Episodes like that certainly don't make people any more inclined to be pro-breastfeeding; I think it's quite the opposite. :(

[PrincessYoga]

I just want to say that personally as a FL gal we go to the beach quite a bit and that is the one place I really feel the most comfortable not using something to cover myself. I usually use a wet wipe to clean the major sand off DS face and myself and toss a towel over his head just until we get latched on and then remove it. Half the people are showing more then I am and swimsuits are so easy to just push over and so even if he pulls off I get covered up quickly. Believe me on a beach there is much more interesting things to look at then a women breastfeeding so if they are looking for a show they can find it elsewhere. As a side note to feeding on the beach I don't know what age your child is but DS is 7 months and so we are also doing solid food and we love the Boon Squirt Spoon. Prefill the spoon container and then just squeeze the food out onto the spoon, works great and so much easier then bringing jars along.

 

Thanks for the tips. My daughter is the same age as your son. I am going to get a few of those spoons when I get to America later this month.

[mommiejaxx]

Sabbie: My daughter no longer eats babyfood but I wish I knew about those spoons when she did.. Thanks for the info.. I will be sure to pass it along..

 

njtwinmom: this is most likely my last child and with my other 2 I had them weaned between 12 -18 months but with her I wanted to wait. I read that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until your child is 2 so that's what I figured I'd do. You know.. keeping her a baby for as long as I can.. ;)

That being said I breastfeed everywhere and no one hardly ever knows. The situation you mentioned above is totally not my style. I want people to be comfortable with public breastfeeding, not be an exhibitionist. (if that's the right word).. Maybe she was from another country or something..

 

Anyway, thanks again everyone for all the encouragement and support..

[stbmom]

:eek: Unless she was feeding twins and using both breasts at once (doesn't sound like it, and even then...), it sounds like her top-removing style was absolutely unnecessary. Episodes like that certainly don't make people any more inclined to be pro-breastfeeding; I think it's quite the opposite. :(

 

 

Too funny - because I will be nursing my twins on our cruise in Dec (they will be 14 months). But, I don't tandem nurse in public. My dd is nicknamed guitar because she is always slung across me though. So, I definitely say feed the child. Besides, 100% of people will agree they would rather the child be fed and see a little breast rather than hear a screaming hungry baby all through dinner or any other time.

[meatball77]

People will get much more of a show from the people on the sun deck than from you feeding your child.

 

I wouldn't worry about it. I would wear clothes that make it easier to bfeed. Really, as long as your unused boob isn't hanging out you're good.

[friedoreo]

I have breastfed on all of my cruises and never encountered any problems. Like someone else said-I became invisible to all.

 

On a side note, that comment that the American male has sexualized our breasts...I do agree with that to a certain degree. But when we were in the small beach towns in Europe last year, I made it a point to watch the European males as they walked on the sidewalk (a few feet away from the beach where there were many topless women ranging in ages from 15 to 87). 99% of these local Euro men were staring, commenting, and giggling at the various breasts. Not just teenagers but middle-aged guys too. I was really shocked because over and over I have been told that Euro men don't think naked breasts are such a big deal. This is absolutely not the truth...they enjoy looking at breasts just as much as our men do.

[ElsieToo]

I breastfed my 9 m.o. DS all throughout our cruise last year.

 

Personally, once he hit right around 6 months I found it easiest to go somewhere private or at least somewhere removed from the main action and use a cover-up because he was soooo interested in everything going on all around him that he would literally pop off the breast every few seconds to take a look around. And when he did pop off I became very exposed since I have a large chest, which wasn't something I was comfortable with. It was just easier to go somewhere quiet if I wanted him to eat enough to tide him over for more than a half an hour at a time...

 

I agree that you should feed your child wherever you want, but I also believe that by taking into consideration the wishes and desires (for me to be discreet) of my fellow passengers was a way of showing I had respect for them. For me it's kind of like why we tell our kids they have to dress up at formal nights - not necessarily because their comfort is the most important, but because it's important to be courteous to the other diners who also want to have a good experience on board.

[PrincessYoga]

This a wee bit off topic but still related to breastfeeding while travelling. I hope that you will indugle me for a minute. Those you who breastfeed in public how have you managed feeding on an airplane especially during takeoff.

[ElsieToo]

Well, I'm no longer nursing (I weaned him just after he was 13 months), but I found nursing on a plane to be very easy. I made sure to always take a window seat when flying, so I just used a cover-up to ensure privacy from anyone looking from down our aisle towards the window. I did purposely hold off of nursing him for a while to make sure he was hungry and would get in a good nursing session during both take-off and landing. I had no problems with either. Good luck to you. :)

[Ula]

I can't stop myself. I see this thread and remember the nice lady I worked with that breastfed her son till he was five years old. He was in kindergarten.

He did not have food allergies, she just really was into breastfeeding. One of those unique things. With a five year old you will get more of a reaction in public than an infant.

An infant it is not noticed, at the age five it is more noted. Nothing wrong with it, just more a wow thing.

[mommiejaxx]

Well the World Health Organization reccommends breastfeeding until 2 years old, so I think that's as old as I am going.. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable nursing a 5 year old but that's just me.. (in the words of Seinfeld "not that there's anything wrong with it")

[Eclipsepearl]

On the airplane, don't nurse during take-off, keep you baby well safe in his car seat! There is no reason to remove him during the most dangerous part of the flight.

 

Actually, that business about nursing during take-off and landing is a bit of an old wives' tale. Just have them awake about an hour before landing, not on touch-down. Going down in more difficult than up. I never fed any of my three children, who staying in their car seats for all take-offs and landings. They flew between Europe and California about twice a years since each was 4 months old and we never, ever had any ear problems.

 

Also, I never took a window seat. How inconvenient with a baby! I hate the idea of climbing over one or two strangers to get to the restrooms. I try to sit at bulkheads.

 

I used a sling for ages. It was really good at not only covering us up but elimiated the problem of positioning. I didn't have to fiddle with pillows, etc. to get them in the right place.

 

In my 13 years as a Flight Attendant, no one ever complained about a breastfeeding woman and I flew with two American companies.

 

A funny story about discretion. One of my coworkers worked for one of the Middle East companies. She told me how women would board in chadors and masks, totally covered. Babies started to cry and they'd WHIP it out, no hesitation. Another similar story I read elsewhere was a foreign doctor over in the same part of the world, who walked by some breastfeeding women in the hospital. They panicked, grabbed their head scarves, covered their hair but keep feeding their babies.

 

So funny how different cultures view the same thing...

[Travelitis]

I agree that you should feed your child wherever you want, but I also believe that by taking into consideration the wishes and desires (for me to be discreet) of my fellow passengers was a way of showing I had respect for them. For me it's kind of like why we tell our kids they have to dress up at formal nights - not necessarily because their comfort is the most important, but because it's important to be courteous to the other diners who also want to have a good experience on board.

 

Bravo!! Very eloquently put! I am so tired of the one note song - me, me, me!

 

I BF my children, too, but I would remove myself from certain settings, and a restaurant was one of them. Just because I'm not offended by BF doesn't mean the people at the next table aren't. I also found a quieter location made for a pleasanter nursing experience. Yes, there were times when I missed out on things, but was I really missing out? I have years to eat in restaurants and chat idly. The precious baby months are fleeting.