Teenage Curfew?

[meatball77]

As long as they let you know where they are and who they are with the exact time shouldn't be a problem.

 

However, I'd worry about them staying out to late before port days. You don't want grumpy tired teens when you go on excursions.

[Catnip]

Why would you put a curfew on them? Where could they go?

 

On a cruise 2 years ago, this actually happened. I'm sure their parents thought they were all "good kids" and could not possibly get into any trouble on a ship........:rolleyes: Think again, parents!

 

It was after midnight and I was taking one last stroll on deck before going back to my cabin. I was up on Deck 12 & walked past the Teen Center and out onto the open deck. There was a bunch of teens there with a few pre-teens also. They were sitting on deck chairs by the rail and were laughing and shouting loudly and fooling around. I walked on past them to the end of the pool are and stood at the rail looking out at the ocean. They were shouting & laughing and a couple of the teenage boys grabbed one of the pre-teenage boys and threw him onto the upper railing of the ship and pretended like they were going to throw him overboard! :eek: The kid was screaming and they could have so easily lost their grip on him and he would have fallen overboard and died!

Real funny and cute, eh? :mad:

 

Parents, if you wouldn't let your kids stay out till 2 am in your hometown with no supervision, please don't let them stay out that late on a cruise ship. Let them have fun with their friends during the day and in the evening before midnight. Accidents can happen in a split second.

[babyher]

DW and I were just on the Miracle last week with DD and her GF both 16. They were in the cabin right next to ours. We told them at the beginning to be in by midnight, unless some teen activity came up that ran later or they met some friends for pizza or whatever, we would discuss it as that came up.

 

I think there were 2 nights that they actually wanted to stay out a little later than midnight. They really liked watching the Karoke so they stayed out late for that like two nights, but other wise they were asleep before me and DW :)

 

They went to one of the teen dances and didn't stay long. They said there weren't too many kids their age there (God forbid they hang out with "babies" *LOL*) and the only boys there were "these goofy skater boy types" (You would have to ask them what that means *LOL*

 

Basically they were too worn out after port days and aying in the sun on sea days to do a whole heck of a lot.

[halos]

I took my girls on 2 cruises when they were teens. Both cruises, they were in their cabin when we went in ours for the night. That was the rule.

They also were with us all day and most of the night anyway.

 

They actually like us for some reason. :p

[carriejose]

But he's 17 (probably 17 1/2) not 16. ;) I said 16 wasn't exactly "around the corner".

 

Not that it matters, but as I was changing my post to be more specific, you were responding to mine...and what I was getting at was...for my son at the age of 16 I think college was right around the corner. He was 16 for the first 3 months of his senior year of high school. But again...no big deal:) I do realize that it is not the "norm"

[PINEVIEW01]

making fantastic, logical decisions requires that a person think with the prefrontal cortex ("logic center") of their brain.

 

studies have shown that teenagers do NOT use this area of their brain when thinking. rather they make choices from an area of the brain which is also stimulated during risk taking.

 

kids no not process risks in the same light adults do.

 

i find it negligent to think that a "talking to" is all it takes with kids. evidence backs up that the majority of kids stretch the limits and boundaries set for them, patrticularly teenagers.

 

so in a sense, it is not that there are bigger "problems" if a child defies their parent. that is an age appropriate-inappropriate behavior.

My DD just called home from school this week as she was learning this very thing and that the male's develops even later that the females.

 

So, mom has been saying this for years. But, now she is hearing it from a "profesional" , now its new info:confused: ;)

[themarm]

My DD just called home from school this week as she was learning this very thing and that the male's develops even later that the females.

 

So, mom has been saying this for years. But, now she is hearing it from a "profesional" , now its new info:confused: ;)

 

:D *LOL*

[lovesublime]

I only know that if I had an 18yr old daughter.. 5 minutes out of high school she would not be going 1000's of miles away without one of her parents.. Especially knowing from the brother, who warned her( Natalie's) parents what goes on on this yearly senior trip...:rolleyes:

Poor Judgement on everyone's part..

 

Bad things happen everywhere and using better judgment when it comes to one's children sometimes can prevent these bad things- not all the time but some of the time..

 

16 yr olds know right from wrong but still bow to peer pressure and 'the follow the crowd' mentality.. Chit happens... just try to be there to stop it or prevent it.. dont encouage it with poor judgment..

 

Well, we sent our (then) 16 year old son on a two week trip to Spain and Africa with his Spanish class. A couple of months after that trip we sent him to Florida (alone) to participate in a 3 week long aviation training camp. As a 17 year old in 12th grade we sent him on a week long senior class trip to Disneyworld.

 

He graduated from college last year and is gainfully employed as an airline pilot. He's never been in trouble a day in his life and everyone who knows him has only wonderful things to say about him. But, I guess we're crappy parents who used 'poor judgement' in letting him travel and do things without us :rolleyes:

[Carnival Game]

...for my son at the age of 16 I think college was right around the corner. He was 16 for the first 3 months of his senior year of high school. I do realize that it is not the "norm"

 

Yes, he must be smart. Most kids turn 16 when they're in 10th grade.

[themarm]

Well, we sent our (then) 16 year old son on a two week trip to Spain and Africa with his Spanish class. A couple of months after that trip we sent him to Florida (alone) to participate in a 3 week long aviation training camp. As a 17 year old in 12th grade we sent him on a week long senior class trip to Disneyworld.

 

He graduated from college last year and is gainfully employed as an airline pilot. He's never been in trouble a day in his life and everyone who knows him has only wonderful things to say about him. But, I guess we're crappy parents who used 'poor judgement' in letting him travel and do things without us :rolleyes:

 

:eek: crikey! you gave birth to jesus deux!

[lovesublime]

:eek: crikey! you gave birth to jesus deux!

 

Ok! No kidding! LOL! What I meant is that we've never had any drug, alcohol, legal, or delinquincy issues. He just never gave us any trouble. No not perfect, but a good kid nonetheless.

[themarm]

Ok! No kidding! LOL! What I meant is that we've never had any drug, alcohol, legal, or delinquincy issues. He just never gave us any trouble. No not perfect, but a good kid nonetheless.

 

;) a lot of kids are darnright good kids. congrats to yours!

[Urban trekker]

" only know that if I had an 18yr old daughter.. 5 minutes out of high school she would not be going 1000's of miles away without one of her parents"

 

So will you be going to Iraq or Afghanistan with her.?

 

Cheers

 

Dennis

[halos]

Well, we sent our (then) 16 year old son on a two week trip to Spain and Africa with his Spanish class. A couple of months after that trip we sent him to Florida (alone) to participate in a 3 week long aviation training camp. As a 17 year old in 12th grade we sent him on a week long senior class trip to Disneyworld.

 

He graduated from college last year and is gainfully employed as an airline pilot. He's never been in trouble a day in his life and everyone who knows him has only wonderful things to say about him. But, I guess we're crappy parents who used 'poor judgement' in letting him travel and do things without us :rolleyes:

*sigh*

That's what happens when you let them go on those trips during high school...they become wanderers!! :eek: :D ;)

 

Our DD went to Costa Rica as an exchage student her junior year of HS. Then she went thousands of miles away to college in KY...while in college she spent a semester abroad in Mexico, with a couple weeks thrown in back in Costa Rica.

After graduating college she's now in Montana working as an Amercorps Vista. She'll be done in June and then plans on moving to Northern California.

*sigh*

The last time I saw her, we were on a cruise. It stopped in Cozumel. She planned her Mexican vacation around our cruise so she could meet up with us in Cozumel for the day. (If she gets her wish, she'd live in Mexico!!)

She's only going to be 23 this July.

 

You feed them, give them a little breathing room, and LOOK what happens!!;) :D

 

 

That's great your son is an airline pilot!! Congratulations!!

[MaryZ]

I only know that if I had an 18yr old daughter.. 5 minutes out of high school she would not be going 1000's of miles away without one of her parents.. Especially knowing from the brother, who warned her( Natalie's) parents what goes on on this yearly senior trip...:rolleyes:

Poor Judgement on everyone's part..

.

 

The very first thing you learn when having children is...

Never say never.

As in... I will never let my kid......My kid will never...

Anyway since you have repeatedly stated you have no children, you don't really have any idea what you would do with an 18 yr old child.

You cannot "suppose" what you would do. You cannot state unequivocally what you would do. Because you have not raised a child, you actually have no possible way of knowing what you would do.

You can't say, well I have nieces, nephews, I see those rotten spoiled children of my neighbors so I know I wouldn't.

Because your child might not be anything like "those" children. And after all, if you are so staunch that you would not let your 18 yr old child go thousands of miles away without one of you....it would be rather obvious you didn't do a good job a a parent raising that child.

Because every single year in august hundreds of thousands of 17 and 18 yr olds leave their homes to go thousands of miles away to college. And the funny thing is, the parents don't not let them go.

The same for spring break trips, senior class trips, a weekend in the city with their friends.

There comes a time when an 18 yr old has to be let to do what they would enjoy doing.

And sometimes, no matter what you have taught them, they make a very bad choice and something terrible happens.

That is life. As much as it sucks. As much as you might spend the rest of your life regretting the day you said you can go. Things happen that are beyond your control. No one can pinpoint why these things happen, but it certainly should not be laid at the parents feet that they didn't do their job.

I'm quite certain every parent of a child who died tragically did not for a moment believe that their one word of "OK" you can go to the store on your bike, you can drive to school today, you can go on your senior trip, would mean death to their child.

Sometimes destiny just steps inside your world and there is not a thing you can do to change it.

[halos]

The very first thing you learn when having children is...

Never say never.

As in... I will never let my kid......My kid will never...

 

Trock honey, I wouldn't lie to you. What she said is absolutely and unconditionally the truest of all truths.

I've been there/done that. Said the 'nevers', looked like an idiot later on.

I think we've all done it.

 

Truth is you don't know. Life changes, the world changes, you change. Each child is an individual and you cannot in any way make any predictions. All you can have is a basic idea, a basic set of plans but you can't count on any of it. The only thing you can absolutely know for sure is that you're gonna love them.

[lovesublime]

*sigh*

That's what happens when you let them go on those trips during high school...they become wanderers!! :eek: :D ;)

 

Our DD went to Costa Rica as an exchage student her junior year of HS. Then she went thousands of miles away to college in KY...while in college she spent a semester abroad in Mexico, with a couple weeks thrown in back in Costa Rica.

After graduating college she's now in Montana working as an Amercorps Vista. She'll be done in June and then plans on moving to Northern California.

 

*sigh*

The last time I saw her, we were on a cruise. It stopped in Cozumel. She planned her Mexican vacation around our cruise so she could meet up with us in Cozumel for the day. (If she gets her wish, she'd live in Mexico!!)

She's only going to be 23 this July.

 

You feed them, give them a little breathing room, and LOOK what happens!!;) :D

 

 

That's great your son is an airline pilot!! Congratulations!!

 

Precisely! You just can't be too overprotective. Congratulations on your daughter. She sounds like a wonderful and interesting person :) My son just turned 23.

[halos]

Precisely! You just can't be too overprotective. Congratulations on your daughter. She sounds like a wonderful and interesting person :) My son just turned 23.

 

My poor DH...he keeps saying, "We raised her to be independent...but now that we did, we think we may have over-done it!" :eek:

He doesn't handle his baby girl being a Nomad too well.

 

BUT...that being said, if I had young teenagers on the ship, they would indeed have a curfew. I may have allowed my daughters room to grow, but there were boundaries when I thought they were necessary. It's such a hard line to walk. I've said it before on here, being a parent is so freaking difficult.

[trock]

The very first thing you learn when having children is...

Never say never.

As in... I will never let my kid......My kid will never...

Anyway since you have repeatedly stated you have no children, you don't really have any idea what you would do with an 18 yr old child.

You cannot "suppose" what you would do. You cannot state unequivocally what you would do. Because you have not raised a child, you actually have no possible way of knowing what you would do.

You can't say, well I have nieces, nephews, I see those rotten spoiled children of my neighbors so I know I wouldn't.

Because your child might not be anything like "those" children. And after all, if you are so staunch that you would not let your 18 yr old child go thousands of miles away without one of you....it would be rather obvious you didn't do a good job a a parent raising that child.

Because every single year in august hundreds of thousands of 17 and 18 yr olds leave their homes to go thousands of miles away to college. And the funny thing is, the parents don't not let them go.

The same for spring break trips, senior class trips, a weekend in the city with their friends.

There comes a time when an 18 yr old has to be let to do what they would enjoy doing.

And sometimes, no matter what you have taught them, they make a very bad choice and something terrible happens.

That is life. As much as it sucks. As much as you might spend the rest of your life regretting the day you said you can go. Things happen that are beyond your control. No one can pinpoint why these things happen, but it certainly should not be laid at the parents feet that they didn't do their job.

I'm quite certain every parent of a child who died tragically did not for a moment believe that their one word of "OK" you can go to the store on your bike, you can drive to school today, you can go on your senior trip, would mean death to their child.

Sometimes destiny just steps inside your world and there is not a thing you can do to change it.

 

 

Mary you make very very valid points and I concede to alot of them.. I was raised very strict- private schools etc.. It just would not have been something I would have been allowed to do at 18 and if I ever had kids, could not see myself allowing it either.. But you are right.. it depends on the kid.. on the personality.. SO I do concede to all you parents out there.!

 

But I still think pertaining to Natalies parents.. POOR JUDGEMENT! They were warned.. the father did not want her going etc etc

 

and To LoveSublime

Crappy was your word not mine..

Glad your son did you proud..

[MaryZ]

Mary you make very very valid points and I concede to alot of them.. I was raised very strict- private schools etc.. It just would not have been something I would have been allowed to do at 18 and if I ever had kids, could not see myself allowing it either.. But you are right.. it depends on the kid.. on the personality.. SO I do concede to all you parents out there.!

 

But I still think pertaining to Natalies parents.. POOR JUDGEMENT! They were warned.. the father did not want her going etc etc

 

and To LoveSublime

Crappy was your word not mine..

Glad your son did you proud..

 

I feel badly for Natalie's parents. I cannot imagine their grief.

 

The second thing you learn having children...

go with your gut feeling.

 

The third thing you learn having children....

Sometimes you just have to be the bad guy or parent as it is typically known.

The gut thing and the parent thing are tied together.

You don't want your kid to go...then you have to say no and accept that your kid hates your guts for a few days or weeks. And believe me, it's very hard.

Even when it's easy, it's hard.

By easy I mean, it is against your belief that your child would be safe. But the hard part is dealing with your teens disappointment. Parents enjoy seeing their children experience the wonders of growing up. But there are times that you have to make a decision based on the parents beliefs, which often do not match what the teen thinks should be.

I think overall, for the case of Natalie, her parents were ultimately won over by the fact it was her senior class trip and she would be with her peers. Most kids at that age are well aware of all the dangers of going off alone with men they don't know. But...bad things happen. Unfortunately her friends didn't use good judgement either by not staying with her. And Natalie made the ultimate choice which led to her death.

My heart just breaks for her parents.

I am happy our school does not do this kind of thing. I am worried enough about prom weekend with our daughter. And we already know all her friends and what they will be doing. Us parents have gotten together and we have all made reservations to bring our rv's down to the beach for the beach weekend. So although they will be having a beach party weekend, us parents will be in and out. Fortunately, all our kids like us so they don't mind :D But still, you just never know.

[lubyshell]

We have been on 2cruises and 1 coming up where my son will be 15 daughter 3 dont ask, long story LOL, anyway we have a rule that my son checks in every other hour, if we are not at cabin he leaves a note as to what time he checked in on a sticky and places it on mirror, where he is going, etc,etc, It has worked on cruises in past, he has never had a real curfew and if i have to go look for him he will lose that privelege, he probably should have some type of curfew but he is usually home by 2 or 3, never to my knowledge has done any stupid things on board. He has been told many times about avoiding strangers especially the over served ones, when i do run into him late at night they are usually on lido deck which is where our room always is eating pizza ans bs ing with other kids, i have never caught him doing anything dumb but again he knows what the wrath of pissing off dad and ruining a vacation will bring to him and he doesn't want to do that. LOL

[halos]

The second thing you learn having children...

go with your gut feeling.

 

.

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!

The first thing kids should be taught is for them to be aware of their gut feelings and to listen to them as well.

My girls are 20 and going on 23 right now. I remind them of this as often as I can. Those nagging feelings in their stomach and the hairs raising on the back of their neck is not to be ignored EVER.

[nothomeonacruise]

Me, too Halos! I've taught my daughter to be aware of her surroundings and to trust her instincts.

 

Fred's post up there is scary. Every parent should read it.

 

I'll keep my peace of mind and keep the curfew. I'm like the mom up there who can't sleep without knowing where my child is located.

[Crusin6]

Well put. I have held the reins tight and my dd, who is 19 is a wonderful, respectfull, kind, well rounded young woman.

This is about the kids staying safe too. :)

In total agreement. DH and I are raising 4 very bright, nice, well-rounded, pleasant daughters aged 7 to 18. We have held the reigns tight but not tight enough to choke them. The result, great kids that are achieving their dreams and who enjoy being with us on family vacations not newly found "best Friends"

[trock]

I feel badly for Natalie's parents. I cannot imagine their grief.

 

The second thing you learn having children...

go with your gut feeling.

 

The third thing you learn having children....

Sometimes you just have to be the bad guy or parent as it is typically known.

The gut thing and the parent thing are tied together.

You don't want your kid to go...then you have to say no and accept that your kid hates your guts for a few days or weeks. And believe me, it's very hard.

Even when it's easy, it's hard.

By easy I mean, it is against your belief that your child would be safe. But the hard part is dealing with your teens disappointment. Parents enjoy seeing their children experience the wonders of growing up. But there are times that you have to make a decision based on the parents beliefs, which often do not match what the teen thinks should be.

I think overall, for the case of Natalie, her parents were ultimately won over by the fact it was her senior class trip and she would be with her peers. Most kids at that age are well aware of all the dangers of going off alone with men they don't know. But...bad things happen. Unfortunately her friends didn't use good judgement either by not staying with her. And Natalie made the ultimate choice which led to her death.

My heart just breaks for her parents.

I am happy our school does not do this kind of thing. I am worried enough about prom weekend with our daughter. And we already know all her friends and what they will be doing. Us parents have gotten together and we have all made reservations to bring our rv's down to the beach for the beach weekend. So although they will be having a beach party weekend, us parents will be in and out. Fortunately, all our kids like us so they don't mind :D But still, you just never know.

 

I am just 'paranoid'

I worry about everything! Its amazing I have low blood pressure LOL