Teenage Curfew?

[Megnolia]

Ok, I obviously don't have teenaged children, so here's my opinion for what it's worth.

 

For those who say that as long as your children aren't bothering anyone, they are ok... how do you know they aren't bothering anyone? :rolleyes: I definitely mean that in a tongue in cheek way, but unless you can see them, you can't know what they or the group they are hanging out with are doing. I'm sure I did plenty of "bothering" as a teen sitting in a restaurant with 20 other teens laughing and getting noisy.. (but adults do it, too... so ...)

 

I would think that if your teen is at a known location - ie. club O2, teens dance, or in the cabin of a friend you've met, then I would have no problem letting them stay out as long as you would let them stay out in a similar place at home. The rest of the ship I would treat no differently than your local "downtown". Would you let your teen spend the evening wandering the streets where you know adults are coming and going from nightclubs? By 19, sure, no problem, (at 19 I WAS one of the adults coming and going from nightclubs!) but at 13 - 14, I would not be comfortable with that.

[DocF]

For what its worth, our youngest daughter is 31. Therefor, I am officially older than dirt. ;)

 

I have no real problem with a 2AM curfew for your daughters if you trust them. I also would remind them that this curfew is contingent upon continued good behavior and you may well check on their whereabouts at any time of the night.

 

I know all about all the awful things that can happen to a young lady, but kids have to learn to be responsible for their actions and the consequences there of.

 

Turn 'em loose, but be ready to jerk them back in if necessary.

 

Doc

[LHP]

I think it truly depends on the maturity of the child.

 

Some 16 years are not ready for that responsibility and some 20 year olds are not ready for that responsibility.

 

I hate to sound sexist (since I have raised two boys) but I have to admit that I would be more attentive to daughters than sons in this situation.

 

We all know the staff and crew have been thoroughly checked out...but we never know who is in the cabin down the hall.

 

I know it is easy to get in what I call the "Disney state of mind" where we are on vacation in this perfect place and nothing bad can happen...but sadly that just is not true.

 

The same things can happen that can happen in a small town. So you have to ask yourself...how comfortable are you allowing your teenage daughters to wander around a deserted small town by themselves where most of the people they are going to meet at 2am have been drinking all day?

 

I would think as long as Club O2 is open (which is usually past midnight most nights)... then they can stay out. But when Club O2 shuts down...it is probably time to head to the cabin.

 

Again, I am just so glad that my oldest son is now 20. He has never given us a minutes hesitation. Chemical Engineer Major (full academic scholarship) ... well rounded...and was one heck of a Ricky Martin in the Legends Show in May!!!!

[ready2sail76]

Well Fred, I tend to agree with that too, because I'm a daddy's girl and a morning person. If my dad took me on a cruise I'd rather sit on the bed with him and watch movies than go out and party at the clubs!!! (I'm a dream daughter NOW, but you shoulda seen me when I was younger WOOO I probably gave my dad heart attacks!!) But if these girls are used to having a late-ish curfew and are responsible enough to actually ASK for a curfew extension instead of just sneaking back out after they got to their cabin and mom checked on them, then they deserve a little more freedom just for that.

 

I know that as a CO (that's right isn't it??) you are automatically on edge because you see the scumbags every day, but that also means that you raised your children to know how to be safe. My daddy wasn't a CO or anything like that but he WAS paranoid (HAHA he would say "alert" but I say paranoid) so he taught me how to be observant and aware. I feel safe in some of the most dangerous situations becuase I know how to take care of myself and most importantly I know when a situation is going to get too dangerous and I leave. The best way to be safe in a dangerous situation is to not put yourself there.

 

SO I totally respect your point of view, but there are certainly times in a persons life when that extra freedom and responsibilty are needed. I moved out when I was 17. If something had happened to me my dad COULD'VE said, "It was all my fault, I shouldn't have let her go." but he knew that in reality the same things could happen with me living in his house and by his rules.

 

Oh and a little off topic... If you people consider a cruise ship a "small" city I don't know what you'd do in the town I live in now?? I think the population is 1000 maybe??? That would include everyone within this zip code including those under 18. HAHAHA

 

What date where you on the Elation. We were on there in Nov of 06.

[Hurricane Girl]

What date where you on the Elation. We were on there in Nov of 06.

 

So were we out of PC. Loved it!!!

[The_Answer_Is_42]

Just a thought...

 

Why not try using the same rules at home as you do on Vacation? I would think that continuity would be a good thing, right?

 

Either way, there isn't a whole lot that you can do on the ship after 11 or so if you're a kid anyhow... and it's not like they're going to be "roaming the streets" or some such thing. If they try to get into a club, they're likely going to be turned away, and if not, the action is probably pretty tame anyhow.

 

If you want, you might want to make it a date-night where everyone goes out and tries to shut down the bars. :D just make sure the kids are drinking the caffeine free diet cokes ;)

 

Good luck!

[yearnin4cruisin]

My youngest has to stay with me, but my rules for the older teens is that they MUST stay together and they can't be out on a deck by the railing. They either hang out by the pizza, karaoke or people-watch on the Promenade. I haven't set a specific curfew but they always seem to wander back to the cabin by 1 a.m. on their own.

[Tgreene]

Well seeing as this thread is quite older, I still want to give my input for maybe parents who are still undecided about this.

 

I am 22 soon, so I am not too far from this age that the teenagers are. Granted, I don't have kids, so I have no idea the attatchment one adult may have with his/her kids.

 

As a 16/17 year old, on a cruise ship, I do think that a 2 am curfew is applicable. I'll give my reasons.

 

First, It is a cruise ship and there isn't much space to go "off property" so to speak. I hope you can understand what I mean by that.

Also, It is probable that they won't stay out till 2. I remember when I was on vacation, I BEGGED for a later curfew. When I finally earned it, I was also able to stay out till 2. I think I actually stayed out once that late.

 

 

I think vacation is a great time to be a bit more free and relaxed.

 

I don't know, I am sure I have more reasons. Probably because my mentality is still young, and curfew was the death of me.

 

If you think your kids can be responsible, I say go for it. You can also set up a time they must knock on the door. I had to do that, and i had to wait for my mom to say Hello Trevor through the door. She was pretty much up till i actually came in anyway, so the knock just gave her the security that I was okay.

 

I'm sure my view would differ as an adult, but meh! Teenage years are about memories! I still have plenty from my cruises when i was younger.

[jandjfun]

Nobody knows your girls like you do. And if you say they are good kids and have good heads on their shoulders then I believe you. Do you also know the other kids that well? Do you know that a date rape drug won't be introduced into one or both of you girls drinks? Any bad thing that can happen, can happen before midnight as well. I would make sure your girls know never to leave a drink unattended, and never sitting on a table. Always get their own drinks as well. I would give them each a small whistle to wear concealed, just in case, and I would make sure they never leave each others side. Other than that, you have to trust them. And those they choose to be around. BUT where will you be? I think that when you are done, then they also should be done. Also, one other thing. How crabby are they going to be the next day when they have to get up at 7 am for an excursion?

[kaylahszoo]

On every cruise I have been on, I go at least one time a cruise, late at night, searching for my now 16 year old. I have to say that every time I do, she is just sitting somewhere talking with new found friends. I still do the 'search & find' mission. But I have yet to see her doing anything wrong. It's not that I don't trust her judgement, it's the other 2000 people I mistrust some of the time.

[Sprint]

We usually set 1:00 a.m. on most nights.....it also depends on the excursion the next day and then later for the last night of course. They do their Camp Carnival activities and then hang out on the Lido Deck with all their kids. That being said, you have to know your own kids. My kids are close in age and tend to hang out together. Our next cruise there are 5 of them (friends) and all parents will decide "together" on an appropriate curfew for all of them.

 

This is my fifth cruise (March Break) and the first time my teens have their own cabin.....woo hoo!

[futaba951]

I never had a curfew growing up. Most nights I was home by 9 or 10 or even earlier. I just never found anything worth staying out for any later than that. My sister had a curfew and our house was always a battle ground over the time. She had to be in by 10 on weeknights and 12 on weekends. I think that issues such as this need to viewed on the needs of the child. My sister is a night person and is worthless in the morning. I am a morning person and now in my 40s I may fall asleep watching the 6 pm news and when I wake up Conan is going off the air. I have 6 hours of sleep before I ever go to bed. I am used to waking at 4 am and getting my day going. When in HS I was on the wrestling team and used to get up at 3 am to run and train for a couple hours. I used to work for a bakery and had to get up at 2 am and be at work by 3 am. By 9 or 10 am I was done working. Like the old army commercials, I did more work before 9 am than most people do all day. I did that for 10 years and it suited my schedule perfectly. I can say after working that job that there is very little going on in the world at 2 and 3 am that is worthwhile. Most of the people I ran into at that hour were dopers, drunks, transvestites and hookers. (There's nothing that will get your day going quite like seeing a group of men in fishnets, 7 inch pumps and pleather mini skirts with a 5 oclock shadow.) Now, I have to say that some of these folks were actually quite nice people and for the most part didn't bother anyone that I know of. I got to know some of them pretty well because I ran into them regularly. There is just a whole other subculture that hangs out at that time of the morning. Some folks are just night people. I don't know if I would fall into that category, because 3 and 4 am is not far removed from 2 am but would consider myself an extreme early morning person. I've never understood the attraction of staying out late. I guess my parents realized that and never hobbled me with a curfew that would have been irrelavent anyway. My sons have never had a curfew and they are 23 and 20 now. They both still live at home and most nights both are home and asleep before 12. I am so ready for them to move out. I told my wife that if they don't start thinking about moving out on their own soon, we may have to just buy another house and leave them behind. Curfews may be neccesary for some kids. I think it should be child specific because all kids are different. If your child doesn't really need a curfew, setting one may just be an artificial threshold that they will want to challenge just because it's there.

[babyher]

On every cruise I have been on, I go at least one time a cruise, late at night, searching for my now 16 year old. I have to say that every time I do, she is just sitting somewhere talking with new found friends. I still do the 'search & find' mission. But I have yet to see her doing anything wrong. It's not that I don't trust her judgement, it's the other 2000 people I mistrust some of the time.

 

 

I have a16yr old DD myself, like you I do the surprise drop ins when she is out and about on sip.

 

Same as you there is usually a group of kids sitting around talking.

 

At that age they just like to hang out and talk with their friends. maybe get a soda or a piece of pizza, ice cream, whatever.

 

Even when I am not cruiseing with my kids, I notice, the kids tend to find a little nook or a table on Lido and just stay there.

They aren't hurting anyone.

 

I agree you should know your kids and take that into consideration when setting curfews and limits