Portable DVD at dinner

[katyjeka]

I've read over my previous post and see no mention as to what is better for your son. I just gave a point of view from one mother to another. I think your son looks adorable, and if you were next to me in the diningroom and he "acted" up, it would not bother us at all. Honest!!! I understand that kids will be kids, and that is what makes them so wonderful and unpredictable. Maybe we've lucked out on all our cruises, but the waitstaff has been so wonderful with the kids, that they couldnt wait to see them every night. They made dinner time so easy. I'm sorry if I came across as a "know-it" all mother, trust me, I've made my share of mistakes, and I'm continually learning. He looks like a fun little boy, and as I said before, have a great time. Janice

[Quilcruisers]

Hi,

 

We didnt take ours to dinner but we sure used it a lot. My son is 4 yrs old and quite active. We let him watch movies in the cabin while getting dressed, we took the DVD player to lunch on the lido deck, we used it at night (after babysitting mind you), my son is a night owl, we would also take it out on the side of the ship while we sat and relaxed, my son would sit in the lawn chair and watch his movies.

 

We also used it while waiting to disembark on the last day.

 

I dont think it would be a problem at dinner, personally, as long as you have headphones or no sound. Especially if you have a table to yourselves (we did).

 

Its quite a lot to have a young child to sit through a 5 course meal every night, and we did not miss our dinners each night and dined at the late seating 815pm.

 

Did I mention that the DVD player was a lifesaver for us!!!

 

Angela

[guk]

we took ours, with the sound down low its no louder than any other conversation so no problem, in fact if anyone has a problem just ask them what they'd prefer a unsettled child or a happy child watching a dvd. We took our and had no rpoblems with other diners or staff, in fact staff would check to see what she was watchiong each nice

[WineDown17]

ok.. maybe the solution is to have family only cruises.. no snarky children haters allowed... with DVDs for all who want them!

 

My guess is that if you put the child between you, and use headphones.. no one would be bothered.. Unless they are snarky children haters, and then even if they were being a perfect angel, you would still be wrong for having the gall to travel with children in the first place... and in that case, you would therfore have nothing to lose because they would complain no mater what!

[tania7424]

Honestly, ds is going to be 8 months when we cruise next month. I never would have thought to bring a portable dvd player. I am so glad I read this thread. Family conversation and good times around the dinner table is not possible with a baby that age. He will happily sit in a high chair, but not quietly by any stretch of the imagination. He's very chatty. That said, time stands still and all is quiet when The Backyardigans comes on. Yep, I'm a horrible mother who keeps Treehouse on in the background while we play. You better believe I'm going to have The Backyardigans on my stepdad's iTouch. :p

[mjmalino]

First let me say, we were not cruising when my kids were little. We would take them with us to dinner unless it would be a long adult dinner, in which case we would find a sitter for the evening. That being said, I don't disagree with a DVD player for younger kids. However, I have been at tables where 10 year olds (both on and off ships) are sitting there with their DS and I personally think that at that age they should not have them at the dinner table. My kids are now 10 and 9 and both times that we have cruised we have given them the opportunity to take a book to dinner. We always use Anytime dining, so if we end up just us, their books give our family the opportunity to talk about their books and such. If we are sitting with others, the books keep our kids occupied during adult conversation. Now, that being said, my kids are only allowed 1 hour of screen time a day at home (that includes tv, computer and video games), but they can increase that time by reading, and even on the ship when they want their Nintendo DS in the cabin, they can increase that time by reading, so it behooves them to read at the table. Let me put a disclaimer on this, we don't have a total iron fist, when we are traveling for long distances via car or plane we usually are pretty lax with those restrictions.

[jtm22372]

i totally agree with the pp:D:D

[queenL]

I agree with cruisinmama "Whatever works". I have never tried this, but I'm thinking about it for the next cruise. I will probably do the head phone thing and just keep it as a back up. If she starts getting out of hand I'm not above "Barneytizing" her. :) I tried the DVD player for the last plane trip we had and then I begin to do it on road trips. It can be a great child occupier. I do think that once she gets 4 or 5 I will expect her to be able to sit through dinner without it, but while they are really young.....TERRIFIC idea!

[awaldo]

I've read all of these posts, and something really strikes me as funny. Unless we have just had really different cruises, the Dinner is always very long for the adults but not for the kids. We have taken DD4 on 4 cruises, and DD1 on 1. Every night at dinner, the kids get their meal with the appetizer for adults, because, I suppose, the servers know kids are not going to do very well with the structure of a 4 course meal. So anyhow, what I'm saying is, by nature the "Dinner" portion for the children usually lasts no more than an hour at best. By that point, we adults are thru our appetizers and salads and are just getting our main courses. So how would anyone expect to be able to have a child, who is effectively "done" with dinner, survive for another hour or so at the dinner table while the adults eat? I mean, we have very well behaved children, IMHO, but frankly, it ain't gonna happen.

 

After that big long winded explanation, I am fully in the video camp. We purchased our DD4 her own iPod prior to going on her first cruise and it was a lifesaver. She has used both headphones and small attachable speakers that we cannot even hear, so I knowthat no one else is being impacted. She knows that the iPod doesn't come out until after she is done with dinner. SO she eats well, behaves, and then after her meal is done, which is roughly around soup/salad time for us, she gets to watch her ipod. It has worked flawlessly for us each time, and we will continue to use it. At the point she is old enough to enjoy the adult meal "tempo", the iPod will go away without problems. But right now, I can't see it any other way.

[Onessa]

. . . we took an ipod with child friendly earphones for her to watch movies and cartoons on. . . .

 

You modern parents these days iPods! -- back in the late 90s when I was a parent of a little one, we only had "portable" DVD players.:D

 

DD now 14YO had one of the earliest portable DVD players (way back in spring of 1999). It was pretty big, weighed a ton, had a 1.5 hour max battery (so we bought extras to lug around), all sorts of cables, and cost around $500. But traveling across Europe and during the 5.5 hour (one way) trips to Grandma's house, it was a godsend. An iPod would just be so much more convenient!

 

We never used the DVD at the dinner table (really too much bother) -- she generally preferred to read and once she got old enough for the kids club, on ship she'd eat with us and then between our courses one of us would run her up to the kids club.

 

But she did spend alot of time "glued" to the DVD (and in later years to her DS) -- she seems to be growing up just fine. She's 14YO and on our last cruise last year was deemed to be "the most delightful dining companion" that our British tablemates had ever had (in 20+ years of cruising). One of the women confided to me that when she had seen a young teen girl seated at the table the first night, her husband had to keep her from immediately requesting a table change -- and that she was SO glad that he had, because she had never such interesting dinner conversations.

 

Portable video games or video players (with headphones or no audio) are just fine -- most of the GOF (grumpy old farts) who may be cruising with you, probably won't even notice!

[jam82]

No, I really don't think it's OK. However, after all the argument for it, I want to try it. I just still think it's wrong.

[newbiecruiser09]

I also would not be offended by a quiet dvd player at dinner (at my table or anyone elses) but also have never used on with my kids. With my oldest (12) we didn't have them, so we never even thought about this with my youngest (who is now 6). We would always bring books, crayons, small figures, etc to keep them busy. We may not have gotten a lot of adult conversation since we really tried to keep the kids engaged (either in conversation or activities) but at least I didn't cook ro clean up the meal so I was good :). I can see how this may be a bit harder on a cruise where you are seated with others and it may not be possible to really keep the kids involved in the conversations. We also have left (or taken them out) if they misbehaved.

 

I say as long as it does not interrupt others (ie it is muted or kids use headphones) go with what works for you.

[Kingisacruiser]

I never thought of bringing the DVD player to the dining room, but I will try it for the next cruise. On our last cruise we took them to the dining room and after they ate it was hard to keep them from acting the fool (for lack of better terminology), its just too long. After the first two nights we did let them eat with Camp Carnival and they ate with us on formal nights. I'm working with them at home in terms of ettiquette in a dining room (restaurant voices, etc.). Until, I think they can sit through a meal and act in an acceptable manner, I will try anything within reason. Honestly, I don't think they will suffer any developmental delays surrounding socialization, they are just being kids. Now for the 18 mos old. . .I wonder if the DVD player will work for him. He doesn't seem interested in that type of thing. Only one way to find out, break out the DVD player :D.

[lolakat]

Gee, I guess I never realized there was such a contraversy surrounding this issue. My DD is 2 yo. We just got her a portable DVD for our trip to Disney last month. It worked like a charm and I will never travel without it again. I look forward to being able to actual relax a little during our next cruise. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Do whatever works best for your child and your family. Unfortunately the world is full of "haters." Try to ignore them.

[lucigo]

We have had a DVD player in the dining room many times. Once he discovered the gameboy that became the entertainment of choice. I also try to bring a variety of more social table activities.

 

On our last group cruise I brought fun paper and color changing markers and everyone at the table drew fun cruise pictures that we later shared on our web site.

[mary_228]

When our children were little, they were happy to eat at the buffet or pizzeria for an early dinner and then spent the evening at the kids program while we enjoyed a fancy dinner and a show. This works best on a cruiseline with anytime dining (so you don't end up with empty places at the dinner table) which also gives you a chance to dine with other adults! A win-win IMHO! This works especially well on formal nights when the dinner service can be excruciatingly long. We didn't have portable DVD players at the time, however. I'm sure it wouldn't bother me if I was seated at a neighboring table.

[uppitycats]

I don't have kids. I think whatever entertains them and keeps them quiet and not disturbing others at the table is fine. If it's a DVD, or IPod, or some other electronic gadget, so be it!

 

I remember when Amy Carter brought a book to a state dinner and the "kid bashers" were aghast!!! Hey...she ate, she sat quietly a read, what's the big deal??

 

But once the child is a bit older than 2, I do think the movie-player might be a "last resort"...start with teaching good table manners, and while it lasts, enjoy the child. Then when it starts getting overly long for her/him...whip out the movie.

[ruready]

For me, that would be crazy (bring a dvd to a dining room). We will be on a cruise in a couple of months and we will have our just turned 3 year old with us. If he starts to act up, we will take him out and eat at the buffett. Same thing we currently do at someone's house for dinner or at a nice restaurant (done the waiter "check pronto" a couple of times). This doesn't bother us at all... we knew this be the way of life during our son's baby/toddler years. Never would have dawned on me to bring a DVD player :D (we have one but never use it -- given as part of a Christmas gift from my husband's employer a several years ago -- not sure where we even have it stored). However, I do not think my son will interrup too much (hoping :eek:). We eat most of our meals at the dining table right now and many times my husband, son and I will sit there for awhile, so my son it already pretty use to dining for extended times.

 

This converation is so funny to me (not sure why). I will have to tell my mom... she would get a kick out of what people do with their kids nowadays :)

[Mimmsf]

I am traveling with 3 kids, ages 8, 7 and 2 and the 2 older ones will have their IPods and a DS and we'll have a DVD player for the little one. anything to make dinner more enjoyable.

I make sure it's not too loud for the next table to hear but other than that why would anyone care what is keeping my kids quiet.

just my 2 cents

Mimma

[AQW]

My kids are 7yo and 4yo; we've cruised with them for the past two years. Would I bring a DVD player to dinner? No. No DVD player, no game system, no iPod, no electronics. That's just my personal standard. But I don't expect my kids to be little robots either... they each have their "journal" (a notebook in which to write or draw), and I wouldn't mind if they brought a book.

 

Would it bother me if somebody else brought a DVD player for their child? No, if it was muted or had headphones. If it was using the external speakers, yes, that might annoy me, but not enough to say anything. Not my kid, not my problem. I tend to figure parents are just doing the best they can - if their methods don't infringe on my experience, no skin off my nose!

[leighi123]

Really? Your kids cant tear them self away from the tv long enough to eat dinner? Wow.

 

How about some crayons or something? Or maybe have a conversation with them? sheesh.

[ckekjhaze]

my two cents- my girls are 13 and 11 now, I wish i had a portable dvd player when they were tots- we went to all inclusives every year and always ate at the buffets. I definitely would have tried a sit down dinner in an a la carte if they had something to help them stay still

 

do whatever works - you won't see anyone on the ship again, so who cares what they think:):)

[IBoz]

My kids are 15 (DS) and 9 (DD), and we have done cruises and all-inclusives since DS was about 2. Just to add my two cents...

 

I agree with the posters that have said kids are kids, not small adults. That is, IMHO, completely true. They do, however, need to learn to BE adults at some point, so I do try to teach them the correct way to do things. They need to learn that there are certain standards they must meet if they want to be treated like big kids, or in the case of DS, young adults.

 

So, even when they were small children, we would take them to the dining room for dinner. No games, books, DVDs, nada. If the child couldn't handle the situation, then DH or I would take him/her out. If we wanted a leisurely dinner and adult conversation, then the kids went to the kids dinner. If we wanted a family dinner and the kid wasn't doing a good job in the dining room, then we went to the buffet.

 

I've found that they like the opportunity to dress up and go to the dining room, and they have enjoyed being included in the table conversation and being spoiled by the wait staff. They have also enjoyed eating at the buffet, where it is more casual. They each learned, at a very early age, that the different dining venues required different behavior.

 

And last, please let me say that my kids weren't toilet trained at 2 months, didn't sleep through the night at 1 week, and are not early admits to Yale. They are normal, noisy, occasionally smelly, kids. I wouldn't have them any other way. But they can, on occasion, do a good impression of a human, and I like seeing that, too.

[5waldos]

I say go for it. Engaging your young child at dinner is a great and wonderful thing but adults often like to linger, and children do not. Nobody is saying that the DVD is out for the entire meal. You begin all together and then flip on the distraction when child has really had enough. I took my 3 kids around the world and brought the computer. Movies and games kept me sane. They all know how to behave quite nicely- but with the distractions dinner can go on for longer than would be reasonable for a wee thing. It is not one or the other. And for those saying- things were different when my children were young- does anyone remember that children used to have the children's table? When I was young, and it was quite some time ago now, children often did not eat with adults. They ate at a seperate table or at a seperate time. And it was very very rare to see a young child at a good restaurant. It simply wasn't done.

[A&Emom]

It depends on the age of the child. Under 3yo, fine. Older than that, I feel it's time to learn how to socialize with others, not just stare at a screen.