Cruiselines with the Best Mannered Passengers?

[TexasHorseLady]

Since when do manners have to do with dress? Hello? The sad part about all of this is that you actually think manners have to do with the way a person dresses--that is snobby and without any grace whatsoever! And you work on a ship? Yikes...

 

Manners has nothing to do with how someone is dressed. You can, however, spot good manners by how someone treats other people. If a person is nice to a total stranger, someone they might never see again...that's a sign of good manners. If someone listens to others with sincerity and includes them in the conversation at dinner because they care about that person's feelings...that's a sign of good manners. If a person lets someone go in front of them getting on a tender, a bus, a buffet line, or an elevator...that's a sign of good manners. It's not about what you wear or even how loud you get. People who talk loud and dress wrong for an occasion might be annoying...but those things can be attributed to cultural differences. You can talk loud in bad clothes and still have good manners.

 

 

[TexasHorseLady]

...and we are from NYC...and there are lots of loud people there as well....

 

Too funny. I am thinking of George Castanza's parents, from Seinfeld!! :D

[TexasHorseLady]

The common denominator for better manners on cruise ships does seem to be the size of the ship. I've been on just about every line out there, from the biggest behemoths of Cunard and RCCI to the smallest ships of Seabourn/Sea Dream and I can say that in this case, size does seem to matter. I've encountered very few rude and mannerless passengers on the smaller, luxury lines, while the number of boors goes up on the mass market behemoths. Yes, I know the larger number of passengers does increase the chances of bad behavior exponentially, but it seems that better manners and behavior does appear to go hand in hand with the smaller luxury lines.

 

I just scrolled back and re-read some of the earlier posts in this thread. I saw this one (above) and it really hits the nail on the head. The SMALLER cruises do seem to have the better mannered passengers. Also, I hate to say this but it seems to be true - the luxury cruises seem to have better mannered passengers. Is this because the luxury cruise people come from different backgrounds...or is it because the ships are less crowded?

 

I can tell you from personal experience that we usually cruise Regent but sometimes join friends on other cruiselines. We still act like we're on the smaller ship even when we are on a larger ship. We still smile and say hello to strangers, thank the crew every chance we get, and we always wait for people to go ahead of us on elevators, busses and tenders. On large ships that sometimes means we don't get the best seat on the bus or tender, and sometimes we end up in the back of the theatre. But I would rather have a worse seat than lower my standards and join in all the rude shoving and pushing.

[Leejnd4]

I've been following this thread with interest. As someone who has cruised on a wide range of cruise lines, from RCI to Celebrity to Windstar to Regent, I believe I can speak from some experience as to the differences in passenger behavior. And I will wholeheartedly agree that there was a striking difference in behavior, when taken as a whole, between larger ships and smaller ships. I bolded this line because there were some individual instances of either wildy rude or incredibly gracious behavior on all sizes - but I'm basing this on the overall patterns of behavior that I witnessed.

 

The largest cruise ship I've been on was RCI's Voyager, at somewhere close to 3000 pax, I believe. On that ship, while we met quite a few lovely and pleasant people, there was a "crowd" mentality that we encountered frequently. People trying to cut in long lines waiting for tenders...chair hogs...theatre seat hogs...bands of teenagers roaming the ship unsupervised...people attempting to crowd into elevators without letting people get off - we saw it all on that ship.

 

The smallest cruise ship I've been on was Windstar's Windstar, at about 130 pax. This is not a luxury line - they are not the most expensive cruises out there, and are considered more of a "premium" small-ship cruise line. On that cruise we probably ended up on a first-name basis with almost everyone - except the one incredibly rude, conspicuously wealthy foursome who seemed to feel the ship was their private yacht, and treated the crew like scullery maids with their constant complaints and unreasonable demands. Of course, they ended up being the fun gossip topic for the rest of the pax. :p

 

In the middle but on the smaller, luxury end are Regent's Voyager and Paul Gauguin, at about 700 and 330 respectively. I cannot say if the fact that this is a luxury cruise line made the difference, but I will say that these were by far the most gracious, pleasant, friendly and fun-loving passenger mixes I've ever encountered. The only difference I saw between the two ships was that there were a couple more curmudgeonly couples on the larger ship - but again, they didn't represent the general behavior of the pax as a whole.

 

In the middle but on the larger, mass-market end is Celebrity's Mercury - I believe around 1800 pax. That ship was similar to RCI's in that we met some of the most wonderful people - especially our tablemates at our large table! But there were issues with rude behavior whenever there was crowding, and there was a large group of inconsiderate passengers who seemed to feel that the size of their group meant that they had first rights to everything. But this was also the cruise on which I had two bad things happen to me, followed by incredbly gracious behavior - a small child spilled her red juice all over my brand new white linen outfit, and her whole family was just so gracious and apologetic, and we ended up befriending them for the rest of the cruise! Later, I fell while making my way down the stairs in the theater, scraping my leg badly - and there must have been 20 passengers that rushed to help me, and then made a point of checking on my wellbeing for the rest of the cruise. :)

 

I'm about to take my first cruise on Crystal, which is a medium-size ship in the luxury market - about 900 pax, I think. I've read numerous reports that, as a whole, their pax mix tends to be very pleasant and polite. Is that due to the fact that it's a more expensive cruise, or because, as a luxury product, you simply don't encounter the crowding aspects of the mass-market cruises? It'll be interesting to see.

 

Anyway, I can make no final conclusions from all this, except to say that I agree with TexasHorseLady that the size of the ship makes a big difference, as does whether or not there are issues of crowding, as unmanaged crowds simply lends itself to bad behavior.

 

Finally, one small comment on ibfern's assertion that the clothes one wears have nothing to do with etiquette - I respectfully disagree. When there is a clearly stated, well-known "dress code" for an event, such as formal night on a ship, and someone chooses to attend the event dressed in completely inappropriate attire, that IS inconsiderate to their fellow passengers. I am not one to give two hoots what others are wearing, and my reaction when I see this is more of a eye-roll then anything else - but it is simply a fact that it is poor etiquette to not respect the dress code of any event - whether it's on a ship, or on land.

[ibfern]

 

Finally, one small comment on ibfern's assertion that the clothes one wears have nothing to do with etiquette - I respectfully disagree. When there is a clearly stated, well-known "dress code" for an event, such as formal night on a ship, and someone chooses to attend the event dressed in completely inappropriate attire, that IS inconsiderate to their fellow passengers. I am not one to give two hoots what others are wearing, and my reaction when I see this is more of a eye-roll then anything else - but it is simply a fact that it is poor etiquette to not respect the dress code of any event - whether it's on a ship, or on land.

 

Be careful of quick judgments because you don't always know the circumstances. I was thinking about my Goddaughter who, when recovering from Leukemia and a Bone Marrow Transplant, couldn't wear restricting dressy clothing. We all would not dress up so she did not feel uncomfortable. This is a reflection of compassion, not poor manners, as I am sure you would agree. Next time you roll your eyes at somebody who is not dressed to code, think about that!

 

Amelia

[greatam]

Be careful of quick judgments because you don't always know the circumstances. I was thinking about my Goddaughter who, when recovering from Leukemia and a Bone Marrow Transplant, couldn't wear restricting dressy clothing. We all would not dress up so she did not feel uncomfortable. This is a reflection of compassion, not poor manners, as I am sure you would agree. Next time you roll your eyes at somebody who is not dressed to code, think about that!

 

Amelia

 

Your example is 1 in a 100. And true compassion is needed in your situation. BUT the MAJORITY of poorly dressed pax do NOT have medical issues. They just don't care about anything except THEMSELVES and CHOOSE to ignore the feelings of other guests AND the host.

[timetraveler9]

Perhaps if you tried a cruise line that caters to non-Americans.

 

On our Celebrity cruise we had Asians butting in line at the buffet and running into people without saying "excuse me". At a resort in Mexico last year we contended with queue jumping Russians and Italians who were extremely loud and would take up an entire sidewalk and literally shove people out of their way and a French family who brought their loud toddler to an adults only pool and generally made it miserable for all those around them. On a trip to Costa Rica we had Spaniards seated at an adjacent table ruin a meal with their loudness and they were extremely rude to the waitstaff. In Banff, we were run off a hiking path by a group of loud Eastern Europeans who threw their cigarette butts into the bushes as they passed. And in Banff townsite an Asian woman actually gave me a bruise she bumped into me so hard because she was busy talking to her friends and not watching where she was going. No excuse me or aplogy was offered. And here in Miami I've had Latin Americans shout to their family across a room while standing right next to me- so loud my ears hurt. And that happens all the time. Not to mention blatant queue jumping. Sadly, bad manners are not the sole province of Americans.

 

I always find it amusing when people talk about Americans' lack of manners. My (non-American) husband and I have traveled extensively and have learned from experience that actually Americans are among the better mannered occupants of the world, relatively speaking. Actually, the only place I have seen manners that would better Americans are in the U.K. and in Canada. Of course it isn't politically correct to criticize certain groups, so Americans become the whipping boys for those who still choose to harbor prejudices...

[Leejnd4]

Your example is 1 in a 100. And true compassion is needed in your situation. BUT the MAJORITY of poorly dressed pax do NOT have medical issues. They just don't care about anything except THEMSELVES and CHOOSE to ignore the feelings of other guests AND the host.

 

Thank you for stating the obvious. And I would say it's probably closer to 1 in 1000. Of all the passengers I have seen and read about who did not dress appropriately for dinner on a cruise ship, I highly doubt that there were many, if ANY, of them who had a valid excuse. The example given, while heartrending, is simply so rare as to be statistically negligable. Not to say it doesn't happen - I'm sure it does. But the possibility that there might be one sick child among thousands of passengers does not give free reign to everyone to ignore such a basic rule of etiquette as dressing appropriately for an occasion.

 

And even someone who cannot wear restrictive clothing for medical reasons can easily wear something that would still be considered appropriate that isn't restrictive, if only to feel "in the spirit" of the event. A simple, brightly colored scarf over a loose-fitting outfit would suffice. And I have a hard time believing that an entire family has to come to formal night dressed in sweats, t-shirts and sneakers to make one person with a medical condition feel okay.

 

As for my eye-rolling, being the polite person that I am, I most certainly always keep it to myself. And I am quite confident that I have yet to roll my eyes (secretly, of course) at anyone who actually had a valid reason to be dressed inappropriately. Sorry, but the dude sucking down beers in the ripped jeans and wife-beater t-shirt on formal night was, I'm quite sure, not recovering from anything worse than a hangover. :rolleyes:

 

But that's all I'm going to say about the dress code. There are probably hundreds of dress code threads on Cruise Critic - if someone wishes to continue that discussion, there are probably better threads for that elsewhere.

[ibfern]

Your example is 1 in a 100. And true compassion is needed in your situation. BUT the MAJORITY of poorly dressed pax do NOT have medical issues. They just don't care about anything except THEMSELVES and CHOOSE to ignore the feelings of other guests AND the host.

 

I was only sharing an experience I had, not condoning nor condemning the dress standards.

 

Thanks for responding directly to me! :)

 

Amelia

[linda_22003]

If so, that makes sense. I like 'real' people too, by that definition. Some people do try to pretend they are better off than they are...and that is annoying. I don't like being around people like that either.

 

But to be honest, I have never seen that on any Regent cruise. They're all really casual, they treat each other and the crew well...and they don't go around talking about what they own or bought or how much money they have. They're just low-key regular people having fun on a cruise!

 

Well.... remember, we don't have Hairy Chest contests. :rolleyes:

[sapper1]

I do believe that for the most part and almost get depressed wishing I was born many years ago. And then I saw the movie "Titanic", became obsessed with it and did research on the real incident. Did you know that when 1500 people went into the sea, of 30 lifeboats floating nearby only own bothered to come back to try and save some people? It should also be noted that the boats were drastically under-filled and capable of holding around 70 men, yet some held just 12-20 people. They reference this in the movie and after some thorough studying up on it, I have found this to be very close to the truth. So I guess maybe we are not all that bad these days. I am certainly not disagreeing with what you said but just want to say that every time I feel sad and imagine how better it would have been years ago, I think of that and in a strange way it makes me feel a little better. I've also been barelled over and insulted by a few elderly people who were born years ago in a different time and really should know better. Society as a whole does need a big improvement. Always has and always will.

I believe I read somewhere that the reason the decision not to come back was made was because they would have been swarmed by the panicky people in the water and everyone would have drowned---including the ones safely in the lifeboats. Sometimes harsh decisions have to be made in extreme conditions. I know that sounds heartless (I'm not--I was moved to tears in the Titanic graveyard)-- but sometimes you just have to have been there-----it's easy to judge after the fact.

[cruzin w chris]

Yes, I did see your disclaimer saying "not all". But you did say you wanted to stick with RCCL and Carnival where all the real people are.

 

I was just wondering what you meant by 'real'.

 

By real, do you mean down-to-earth and unpretentious? If so, that makes sense. I like 'real' people too, by that definition. Some people do try to pretend they are better off than they are...and that is annoying. I don't like being around people like that either.

 

But to be honest, I have never seen that on any Regent cruise. They're all really casual, they treat each other and the crew well...and they don't go around talking about what they own or bought or how much money they have. They're just low-key regular people having fun on a cruise!

yes thank you texas you did hit the nail on the head, that is exactly what i meant by that. i like being around fellow hard working stiffs that just want to let off steam on a fabulous vacation. however i have seen people on carnival that do act as if they are above many others and that is just not my cup of tea. so i do apologize if my statement was misunderstood.

[ibfern]

...and we are from NYC...and there are lots of loud people there as well....

 

Too funny. I am thinking of George Castanza's parents, from Seinfeld!! :D

 

Well...something like that! Okay exactly like that! :o

[moniquet]

Well the Americans are the most polite, followed by Canadians and British. All the Europeans fall short on manners. The Spanish have taken pushing and shoving in to an art form.

 

Have noticed though when DH steps back to allow someone on an elevator there is then a free for all. A couple of times he has been left standing an had to walk.

[usha]

I have to say that, by far, the most polite passengers we ever had the pleasure of sharing a ship with were on X's Galaxy for a 15 night transcanal cruise in 1999. There were about 600 Brits onboard, who really made the cruise so much more pleasant because they were there:D. They were courteous, funny, interesting, and interested in others. Honestly, if I knew of another cruise that was booked to the gills with Brits, I'd book it in a heartbeat; that's how much DH & I enjoyed their company for that wonderful two weeks & a day on Galaxy.

[MDC]

I've had some very pleasant experiences with Holland America. Last year over a summer cruise the ship was full of families and a lot of kids, but everyone seemed well mannered for the most part. Even during those "rush to eat" times at the buffet.

[timetraveler9]

I have to say that, by far, the most polite passengers we ever had the pleasure of sharing a ship with were on X's Galaxy for a 15 night transcanal cruise in 1999. There were about 600 Brits onboard, who really made the cruise so much more pleasant because they were there:D. They were courteous, funny, interesting, and interested in others. Honestly, if I knew of another cruise that was booked to the gills with Brits, I'd book it in a heartbeat; that's how much DH & I enjoyed their company for that wonderful two weeks & a day on Galaxy.

 

Yes, it has been my experience that the Brits have the best manners of all nationalities (obviously generalizing here). I have had the pleasure of traveling there and experiencing many other encounters with them here in the U.S. and at various places abroad. A great example of their excellent manners occured at that dreaded place of bad crowd behavior: Disney World. We happened to go to Disney World on a day when it was packed with Brits- during one of their national holidays, I believe. It was so nice sharing a crowded park with them as opposed to people from other places who seem to frequently indulge in queue jumping, jostling and bumping, invading personal space and loud behavior. We didn't even get rammed with strollers once. The world could learn a lot from them!

[BroncosFan2010]

Perhaps that's because the people traveling on the upscale lines are not the "I wants" kind of people, they're the "I already haves" kind of people. Or maybe, they'e just people with decent manners.

 

Bad mannered people come from all social classes! It does not matter how much a person has, they still find an opportunity to complain and be rude.

Sad, but I think this is just how our society is going. I miss the days where men could hold open car doors for women, and it was appreciated (not looked upon as a woman being helpless). I miss dressing up to go out to dinner. I miss people having the decency to say "please" and "thank you".

 

Maybe the few of us who still appreciate these things can bring them back to ALL cruise lines... not just the super fancy....

[timetraveler9]

Bad mannered people come from all social classes! It does not matter how much a person has, they still find an opportunity to complain and be rude.

Sad, but I think this is just how our society is going. I miss the days where men could hold open car doors for women, and it was appreciated (not looked upon as a woman being helpless). I miss dressing up to go out to dinner. I miss people having the decency to say "please" and "thank you".

 

Maybe the few of us who still appreciate these things can bring them back to ALL cruise lines... not just the super fancy....

 

Well said. And I agree with you about the money part: some of the tackiest, rudest, loudest and pushiest people are millionaires. As my mom always said "Money doesn't buy class." Class isn't spending lots of money or wearing designer clothes- it is treating others with respect and dignity and behaving with restraint. And as some others on the this thread have noted, education doesn't buy class either. Some of the most vulgar new homes in our neighborhood were built by doctors.

 

And a great anecdote illustrating the lack of connection between money and class: Look at Donald Trump. I confess to enjoying The Apprentice.:-) I always cringed when I heard one of the contestants say he had class.

[usha]

Not thinkin' I agree with the MONEY-connection to good manners...:eek:

Some of most mild-mannered individuals I've ever met are NUNS,

and everybody KNOWS they take a vow of POVERTY.:cool:

[Dorset Cruiser]

I have to say that, by far, the most polite passengers we ever had the pleasure of sharing a ship with were on X's Galaxy for a 15 night transcanal cruise in 1999. There were about 600 Brits onboard, who really made the cruise so much more pleasant because they were there:D. They were courteous, funny, interesting, and interested in others. Honestly, if I knew of another cruise that was booked to the gills with Brits, I'd book it in a heartbeat; that's how much DH & I enjoyed their company for that wonderful two weeks & a day on Galaxy.

 

 

 

Sea Princess is usually packed with us Brits:D

[Sirdar]

Perhaps if you tried a cruise line that caters to non-Americans.

 

From what I've read on Costa reviews, Italians are even worse than Americans in terms of pushiness.

[ovccruiser]

I have to say that, by far, the most polite passengers we ever had the pleasure of sharing a ship with were on X's Galaxy for a 15 night transcanal cruise in 1999. There were about 600 Brits onboard, who really made the cruise so much more pleasant because they were there:D. They were courteous, funny, interesting, and interested in others. Honestly, if I knew of another cruise that was booked to the gills with Brits, I'd book it in a heartbeat; that's how much DH & I enjoyed their company for that wonderful two weeks & a day on Galaxy.

 

Well thanks for those few words:D I have cruised with a few differing cruise lines and, yes, we Brits are skilled at queueing:D it comes with having all these old buildings that we like to visit with doors that are a bit small. :D

 

Back to original, I am not sure if the size of the ship does make a big difference, I do, however, firmly believe in the space per PAX ratio or is it tonneage per PAX? For example, the P & O ship Oceana carries a maximum of about 2300, the sister ship, which is I believe with Princess only carries 1900, both ships are about 77000 tonnes. QM2 carries maximum 3300, but with only 2 per cabin is about 2400 and is 155000 tonnes. Don't hold me to the figures, it is for example, but they are not too far out. Crowding can cause friction, as we all know, so maybe the more space on some of the larger ships as opposed to more passengers makes the cruise more enjoyable. I do get along with most and I am alway happy to chew the cud over lunch with anyone. I am, I suppose fortunate, not to have met anyone objectional yet, but I guess my time will come.:(