Would This Make Me A Bad Parent?

[Onessa]

Just had parent/teacher confernces last night -- all of my DDs teachers mentioned something positive about our Thanksgiving cruise (DD was out of school for 4.5 school days) -- even her Phy.Ed teacher.

[Onessa]

Just don't do it the way my parents did (they yanked me out of school semi-regularly with little regard for what I might be missing, and no discussion with me or my teachers, even all the way through high school).

 

I often wonder if the method you describe would have been better or worse than what my parents did -- they went off together without me leaving my older sister the responsibility to take care of her much younger sister (7Y difference).

 

Left me with a vague sense of not really being wanted and certainly did not endear my to my sister (who wants to be a high school or college student who has to put all of her activities on hold for two weeks at least twice a year to be saddled with a irratating little kid?)

[poppan]

I often wonder if the method you describe would have been better or worse than what my parents did -- they went off together without me leaving my older sister the responsibility to take care of her much younger sister (7Y difference).

 

Left me with a vague sense of not really being wanted and certainly did not endear my to my sister (who wants to be a high school or college student who has to put all of her activities on hold for two weeks at least twice a year to be saddled with a irratating little kid?)

 

I'm so sorry Onessa -- definitely better to feel learning is unimportant, than to feel unwanted.

[ntengwall]

Well, I may be the minority here but having been a public school teacher before having kids and now being a homeschooling mom of 3 kids...I feel that a vacation with their parents will teach them WAY more than they would learn in the classroom. I cannot believe how strict the schools are with telling parents they can't take their own kids on a family vacation! I had one friend who wanted to take their kids to Italy for 9 days and the school said no. I'm sorry, but are you seriously going to tell me that kids won't learn MORE on a trip to Italy than they would sitting in a classroom??? I'm all about real-life learning and I happen to believe that THOSE are the "facts and information" that truly stick with kids...not memorizing the periodic table of elements LOL

[Eclipsepearl]

I don't know how much learning gets accomplished at Disney World :p Washington D.C. or anywhere historical, I would say yes...

 

To the U.K. parents, be glad you're on that side of the Channel. I took my kids out of French school for a week, not for a cruise or Disneyland but to see my family and country, 11 1/2 hours away and I got a nasty letter from the school authority! The director is more understanding. She told me if I take them out for no more than a week, to see family, the week before a vacation, she wont tell the authorities :rolleyes:

 

I didn't send my 5 year old to preschool for a week last September and the school called me. Why isn't she in school? Flipping pre-school folks! Not even required by law in France! Well, I have swine flu, I told them, and have had a non-stop fever for 10 days, day and night and no, I can't get out of the house to take my kid to school (the two older ones were sent by taxi but the youngest has to be marched up two flights of stairs to the classroom, which a cab driver obviously couldn't do lol!)

 

They bought that one and left us in peace!

[pg.]

Seems like you have found a solution. I do want to add that I often took my children out of elementary school but once the hit middle school, even one or two days out of school my children would fall hopelessly behind. Because my kids are good students, they are in advanced classes and really it is awful for them to miss even a day or two of school. There is no way I would take kids ages 12 and 14 our of school for a week, let alone 2 weeks. Even the very best students would not be able to catch up.

 

My tongue in cheek response to parents who think it would be ok to take a teen out of school for 2 weeks: If your kids can miss 2 weeks of school without any trouble, you need to find a better school because you kids must be wasting their time there anyway!

 

My serious respons, enjoy traveling in the off season when your kids are young. It is too much pressure to expect older kids to miss school and have to struggle to catch up for a vacation.

 

Good post,, I too tend to think if missing two weeks of high school does not seem to mean much,, then perhaps the kids are not really learning much in that two weeks AT school.. LOL

 

I would consider a two week absence only under a few conditions.

 

Child was in elementry school,, (under grade 7 here).

 

Child was a strong student.

 

Trip had actual value,, ,frankly I don't know if I could count most cruises( there are definately a few exceptions) ,, UNLESS I did some homework looking up the history and government of the stops we went to,, and made it really educational.( I mean, come on,, how educational could a person make a port stop in Grand Cayman,, LOL ,, yes, its a banking center, but,, ) This would involve a certain amount of work for parents. I think a land trip to Washington DC or Rome , or even Africa sounds a lot more like it would be worth missing school for.

 

I have taken kids out for one week. I really feel two weeks is pushing it. They were younger. Last time we did that oldest son was 13,, just starting high school and it was HARD catching up,, our semester system means he only takes each of his courses for 5 months of the year,, so missing two weeks is like missing four weeks of normal classes. He actually said he wouldn't want to miss more school again after he got back.

 

OP I don't think you are horrible parent at all,, a horrible parent would not have any dilema at all, they would just do whatever they wanted without exploring the repercussions for their child,, you obviously DO care very much. Congrats on working out something that will be good for your family .

[GDoll]

I am taking my kids out of school next month for two weeks -- one week on either side of their March break. I too have people appalled that I would take them out for that period but I feel that if a week and the end of one term and one week at the beginning of another would make them fail, then there are very big problems at school. Yes, they will have to catch up and maybe do an assignement while on holiday, but many life lessons are learned away from school.

 

Our 15 day Panama cruise is important time for us together as a family and a chance for them to see a completely different lifestyle (we are Canadian).

 

I say go for it!

 

GDoll

[dreaminofsun]

Wow! Count me as another parent that is happy to be Canadian. We have taken our kids out of school plenty for family vacations and it's never been a problem. What happens when kids are sick in the states? Especially, these days with all the pandemic scares we are encouraged to keep our kids home when they are sick. I for one would be pretty annoyed if my kid got sick because another parent sent their kid to school sick rather than risk their perfect attendance record!

Some of you have talked about excused absences. If your child is sick do you have to get a doctors note? Even if they just have a cold or the flu? There have been plenty of times my kids have been too sick to go to school but not sick enough to go to the doctor. What do you do if your kid gets chicken pox or something that requires at least a week off?

[Edug8r]

I notice some mention their children missing school before/after school vacation weeks. Many times those vacation weeks are at a time in the school year calendar when we are ending/beginning a grading period. We (teachers) have deadlines for entering grades, end of term test scores, etc. into a computer system. When a student is not there to take a test and the deadline passes, that leaves his/her grade possibly inaccurate. Eg: I had a student recently miss the first three weeks coming back from winter break with a trip to Mexico. The family asked for her to make up her work (I was not notified of the trip beforehand). Yes, she could do some of the handouts for the practice, but we closed out a grading period while she was gone. I had to determine some of her nine weeks indicators (off/on level) without a couple of final test situations.:o

[beachchick]

I notice some mention their children missing school before/after school vacation weeks. Many times those vacation weeks are at a time in the school year calendar when we are ending/beginning a grading period. We (teachers) have deadlines for entering grades, end of term test scores, etc. into a computer system. When a student is not there to take a test and the deadline passes, that leaves his/her grade possibly inaccurate. Eg: I had a student recently miss the first three weeks coming back from winter break with a trip to Mexico. The family asked for her to make up her work (I was not notified of the trip beforehand). Yes, she could do some of the handouts for the practice, but we closed out a grading period while she was gone. I had to determine some of her nine weeks indicators (off/on level) without a couple of final test situations.:o

 

The other thing I think some parents don't consider is how much extra work it can be for the teacher(s), both in advance and after the student returns to school. OTOH, many people think teachers work 7 hours a day, 9 months a year and really have no clue that it's more like 10-12 hours a day, often 6 days a week, 10-1/2 months a year (not including continuing education). Then, of course, there's the mandatory testing which adds to every teacher's workload. If parents are willing to work with teachers, rather than assuming it's no big deal to expect the teacher to add 20 hours to their work schedule, then most teachers are willing to work with the families.

 

I say this as the daughter of two teachers, the sister of a college teacher, and as someone who taught grade school for 3 years before bailing for the private sector. Both my parents had no problem with students missing school at times for family trips, depending on how long the trip was, how quickly a student could catch up, how confident they were that assigned work would be completed before they returned, and whether they felt the student would need extensive individual tutoring later. For my mom, it also depended on whether the parents were willing to help their child do a special travel project (a daily notebook, pictures, personal observations about they did and what they might have learned) to turn in when they returned. Sometimes, she would accept that in lieu of certain class assignments because she felt that travel was an important part of education and that not all learning happens at school. Of course, that was back in the days when teachers actually had some control and some say over how their classrooms were run and what/how they taught.

 

It's important to be considerate of teachers, IMO, and not expect them to be personal tutors for each child. Unfortunately, it's impossible when they have 30 children per class (and want to have a life outside of work).

 

beachchick

[Onessa]

1. check your school district's and government's policy before planning the trip. If the policy is NO vacations, don't bother to plan it!
   
2. Avoid state mandated testing periods or those times right at the end of a grading period. Talk the absense over with your child's teacher(s) WAY before the trip and remind them about 2weeks before.
   
3. Get any "make" up assignments and make certain that your child completes them in the time frame that the teacher has requested them
   
4. If you say you are going to make the trip "educational" make certain you do it, not just say it.
   +In many cases it is simply the parent justifying the trip. I know my 14YO neice's trip with her recently divorced mother to Mexico could only have been considered "educational" in the sense that the girl was exposed to a whole lot of excessive drinking and some questionable "sleeping" arrangements from her mom. (even though mom justified the trip to her daughter's school as "educational")
   +In other cases it IS educational. We took a Med cruise this Tgiving -- we toured the Acropolis in Athens, Colesium in Rome, Medivieal walled city in Rhodes, the ancient city of Ephesus, etc. I KNOW DD remembered something because she correctly answered "doric" while playing "Are you smarter than a Fifth grader" video game with her cousins over Christmas :D
   +Her science teacher was SO glad she went because he had a curriculum mandatated assigment for the Tgiving break -- each student had to write a 2-page essay on their observations of a material going from one state to another -- he read 37 accounts of ice cubes melting, two (God as my witness!) accounts of paint drying!, and my DD's account of the "Hot Glass Show" on the Solstice of the Seas -- silly man, he thought molten glass solidifying was FAR more interesting!
   

If everyone shows some consideration and understanding, family vacations (whether billed as educational or not) can be a great opportunity for the family, for the child, and a positive experience for the teacher as well!