My Daughter Doesn't Like To Cruise!!

[LemurCat]

Shockingly kids have to do things they may not like. If it was up to some they wouldnt' spend a minute with their family. While all opinions should be taken into consideration, no child should be telling their parents where they will and will not vacation. Sorry you don't get to make that decision, that's a parents job.

 

From what I read she didn't hate the cruise, just wasn't thrilled with it. Absolutely fine to feel that way but that doesn't give you a permanent opt out of that family vacation. Just like if a kid decides they don't like Disney, or going on a family drive etc. Sorry it sucks, but that's part of being a family.

 

And she's 17, not twelve. Most 17 year olds in my neighborhood have cars and jobs. Many of them have real responsibilities at home. She's past the age of consent in most states, and can drink in a lot of countries that have cruise ports. If you want kids to start acting like adults, you need to at least look like your making an attempt to treat them like one. That doesn't mean you leave major decisions to them, but the whole "I'm the parent, that's why" stops being a legitimate reason at that age. At least show her the respect of taking her feelings into consideration.

[Vanessa L]

At least she didnt call in a Bomb Threat at the Cruise Terminal like that other 19 year old girl because she wanted to stay home with her Boyfriend.:eek:

 

 

 

Fred

 

OMFG!!! But you could not have given a better example of manipulation. There is a HUGE difference between planning a vacation around a spouse that doesn't like to go somewhere vs. a child. The difference is that an adult is able to voice dissatisfaction about a certain person, place or thing based on that person, place or thing. Teenagers voice dissatisfaction not because of the person, place or thing, but that they'd rather be in their comfort zone, i.e. with friends. I could almost understand the child's whining if they were taking her somewhere for say, 4 months and she was going to have to change schools, etc. But this a short cruise and again, teaches the oh-so-important life lesson of, you are not always going to get your way. In the long run, it also teaches a child to improvise (or continue to sit and pout and whine and miss life, but that is its own lesson) and learn to make the most of a situation.

 

My therapist side is coming out in all of this so I think I'm going to move onto another thread now, LOL!

 

Good luck, OP, with whichever decision you make. :)

[Kurbanfan]

OMFG!!! But you could not have given a better example of manipulation. There is a HUGE difference between planning a vacation around a spouse that doesn't like to go somewhere vs. a child. The difference is that an adult is able to voice dissatisfaction about a certain person, place or thing based on that person, place or thing. Teenagers voice dissatisfaction not because of the person, place or thing, but that they'd rather be in their comfort zone, i.e. with friends. I could almost understand the child's whining if they were taking her somewhere for say, 4 months and she was going to have to change schools, etc. But this a short cruise and again, teaches the oh-so-important life lesson of, you are not always going to get your way. In the long run, it also teaches a child to improvise (or continue to sit and pout and whine and miss life, but that is its own lesson) and learn to make the most of a situation.

 

My therapist side is coming out in all of this so I think I'm going to move onto another thread now, LOL!

 

Good luck, OP, with whichever decision you make. :)

 

I don't think they were dealing with manipulation at all.......more like a loose screw..........

[LemurCat]

I don't think they were dealing with manipulation at all.......more like a loose screw..........

 

ZOMG! She was like totes in LURVE! :eek:

 

;)

[figs]

ZOMG! She was like totes in LURVE! :eek:

 

;)

 

Was she really 19? Why was some parent dragging along a grown adult who didn't want to go? Talk about a screw loose. :)

[RatherBFishin]

... In the long run, it also teaches a child to improvise ... and learn to make the most of a situation.

 

I think that's exactly what CherylRoslyn's DD did, in her own way.

[Cinderose]

I took my daughter on her first cruise when she was just barely 15. Since Im a single mom and she’s an only child I paid for her to bring a friend. They had on a scale of 1 to 10, a 7 in terms of a good time. Said they couldn’t do much on the ship - no casino, couldn’t go into the disco, hot tubs, etc. The teen program only had 3 other teens in it and they had no desire to hang with them. They did have fun sneaking into the so called x-rated midnight comedy show and had a blast doing that. But she felt the ship was boring. Her next cruise was when she was 17, no friend went and she moped around like she had lost her dog or something, acting so bored at everything. At 19 she had a friend go this time with us and they had a blast since they could go off and do things by themselves and didn’t have stick by "mommy". She’s really doesn’t care to cruise but will do it. I think since I feel it’s a luxury to vacation this way I get the most out of cruising. My daughter has never had to save to do a vacation and doesn’t appreciate it yet.

True there isn’t that much a kid can do on the ship at 17 - but they can’t expect everyone to entertain them - they have to go entertain themselves. I now realize without her ever having said it to me - that she was at that age where they just don’t want to hang with the parents(s) and by having someone of their own age that they know with them will make quite a difference in their attitude about being on a "family" vacation. Also found that if I cruise during holiday or "FUN" times makes a difference also. My daughter will be 21 when we do Mardi Gras and our Halloween cruises coming up and is now looking forward to doing those things - but not necessarily the cruising thing.

Take her and I promise her attitude will be as if she doesnt want to be there - but shes getting her independence - let her go out and explore things. Take her a friend and you will see a difference in her attitude!

[Cinderose]

Wow. At least she is honest. My brother-in-law does not like to cruise. On his first cruse, he slept for the entire cruise. I guess crusing is not for all people. I love crusing!

 

We also have one couple in our group that goes - that her husband all he wants to do is sleep too. She said she wasnt paying that kind of money to have him sleep his vacation away. I told her to just let him sleep - if thats what a vacation means to him and lets him lie back and relax by sleeping - then hes entitled to spend it how ever he wishes. Now they go on our trips without fighting and she goes off and does the excursions while he stays on the ship and sleeps. Both are happy. No two people are alike and you just have to find what best suits the needs at the time.

[misguidedangel]

I suggest you do what my parents did when I said during Spring Break when I was 14 and we were going to fly out to BC to go spring skiing. I didnt want to go skiiing, but I wanted to go explore the ski resort and someplace new. THEY LEFY ME AT HOME WITH MY GRANDMOTHER!!!! Needless to say, my brother go to go cuz he wanted to go skiing.

 

If she doesn't want to go, be fair and leave the kids at home with granny and gramps and enjoy a relaxing week away from the little monsters, er darlings...

[Wants2cruise]

Did you drive cross country before and he didn't like it or was this a new experience for him? If it is a new experience for our family then I would get their input on what they wanted to include in the trip and have everyone go. However in this case she tried cruising and did not enjoy it. Why force her to do it again if she knows she won't enjoy it and will be unhappy therefore making you unhappy and making everyone's trip unenjoyable? I will say again you can not force someone to enjoy something. It is personal thing whether you enjoy doing something or not. If you haven't tried it yet is another story. You need to experience it first before you can decide if you enjoy it or not.

 

 

For the record, we had done several road trips as a family in years past with no problems. Like I said, I am willing to bet that this is an age thing. I have been through this twice now with both sons. The Carnival (I think) commercial that shows the sullen teenager smiling on the jet-ski adventures says it all.

 

The others have that suggested allowing her to bring a friend is a great idea.

 

I understand that cruising is not for everyone. But unless she gets severely seasick, I say that a 17 yo doesn't get to make family decision as to whether they cruise.

[RatherBFishin]

The Carnival (I think) commercial that shows the sullen teenager smiling on the jet-ski adventures says it all.

 

That's Royal Caribbean.

 

It's not very realistic though. She actually cheers up after that and isn't pounding her annoying little brother. Plus it never shows her sneaking out of her cabin at 2am to hook up with the dude she's flirting with on the jet-ski.

[Warm Breezes]

For the record, we had done several road trips as a family in years past with no problems. Like I said, I am willing to bet that this is an age thing. I have been through this twice now with both sons. The Carnival (I think) commercial that shows the sullen teenager smiling on the jet-ski adventures says it all.

 

The others have that suggested allowing her to bring a friend is a great idea.

 

I understand that cruising is not for everyone. But unless she gets severely seasick, I say that a 17 yo doesn't get to make family decision as to whether they cruise.

 

I guess DH & I just have a different relationship with my kids. We consider a family vacation a vacation for the family and we value input from our kids on where they would like to go. They do not make the decision - we all do together.

[mommyloons2009]

I think the teenagers of today are spoiled. They need to experience everything by the time they are 21. I didn't take my first cruise untill I was 26, Flew at 17 for the first time, etc. They think if they don't spring break in Cancun they have never been anywhere.

 

I have a 15 year old wonderful daughter who at 12 informed me that she doesn't go anywhere because we weren't going to cancun on spring break. By the time she was 10 she had been to Florida and Colorado several times. She went on a cruise and to Cape Cod. She had been to the beach in Maryland but this child never goes anywhere. Since then she went on another cruise, to Disney to Daytona and to the beach a few times a year. LOL. They make me laugh these kids because they need to experience!!!!!! Gotta Love them.

[Ship Addict]

That's Royal Caribbean.

 

It's not very realistic though. She actually cheers up after that and isn't pounding her annoying little brother. Plus it never shows her sneaking out of her cabin at 2am to hook up with the dude she's flirting with on the jet-ski.

 

LOL RBF! Sadly, your version of the commercial would probably be more accurate with a lot of teenagers!

 

I am so lucky my 16yo loves to cruise and really does behave -- but we did have to go hunt her down twice on the last cruise. Luckily we found her both times just hanging out, not doing anything we wouldn't approve of! (It's the younger one I'm going to have to watch like a hawk when she's older!)

[Stircrzy]

We just had our first cruise ever on Freedom.....GREAT time. I was just planning our second cruise and my oldest daughter tells me..."Dad, I don't really like to cruise...I just like to experience things...you know". I said..."No I don't know....I just spent $7,000 so that you could "experience" something.....?".

 

Maybe I will just plan a cruise with guys....or better yet, just a girl!!

 

I know the agony.

 

Hubby took one cruise 15 years ago and didn't hate it but never wanted to go again.

 

I'm taking my 20th cruise in October.

[figs]

I think the teenagers of today are spoiled. They need to experience everything by the time they are 21. I didn't take my first cruise untill I was 26, Flew at 17 for the first time, etc. They think if they don't spring break in Cancun they have never been anywhere.

 

Then why does the older generation work so hard to "give their kids the chance to experience things we never got to!"? Please don't make that sound like a poor decision - it's not! Cruising would be a great idea for any younger kids, and DEFINITELY any kids who would want to go (of any age!).

 

My parents worked their butts off (and are still working their butts off!) to take me places as a kid that would broaden my horizons. Until I got to the age where I wasn't JUST their "child" anymore, it worked wonderfully. I am grateful to them for everything they've done.

 

But you shouldn't confuse your child's spoiled attitude with experience. By the time I was 25, I'd been to Germany, England, Ireland, Italy, 34 US States, and Canada. I flew for the first time when I was 6 months old. I've seen the statue of David, Hyde Park, Yellowstone, Hollywood, and Niagara Falls.

 

All of those experiences made me who I am today, and my parents are proud of who that is, so their efforts weren't wasted. Plus, my parents never had to drag me along to any of these adventures. I'm sorry that your child has gotten some strange ideas in her head, but please don't say that's due to getting cool experiences as a youngster. It's just not true.

[Chief Cruiser]

We just had our first cruise ever on Freedom.....GREAT time. I was just planning our second cruise and my oldest daughter tells me..."Dad, I don't really like to cruise...I just like to experience things...you know". I said..."No I don't know....I just spent $7,000 so that you could "experience" something.....?".

 

Maybe I will just plan a cruise with guys....or better yet, just a girl!!

 

She can stay home: I love to cruise so I'll go in her place. How about that? I'll even act and dress like her. Except the part about not liking to cruise. No...wait. I'll act and dress better than she does!!!! Yeah, I'll be the "perfect" daughter! Now, when do we leave?

[figs]

She can stay home: I love to cruise so I'll go in her place. How about that? I'll even act and dress like her. Except the part about not liking to cruise. No...wait. I'll act better than she does!!!! Yeah, I'll be the "perfect" daughter! Now, when do we leave?

 

Please tell me that you are a full-grown adult male, and that you'd be willing to take pictures of this. I might send you along with jbroons on my dime! :D

[Cinderose]

You have to remember kids of today dont know what is like living without color tv, a remote control, cordless phone with caller ID, Computers, high tech video games and toys that would have us the envy of the neighborhood back in our day. They just dont know how to have fun without the companionship (friends) to share it with. I remember vacations in my day of driving accross the country riding in the back of a camper in the hot summer heat to a place called Iowa for a week with grandma! No theme parks, no swimming pools, no buffets or someone that made your bed for you. Our mind sets are different from the youth of today. We give them too much and want them to be happy. Deep down I think they are happy to be as the girl in the comercial shows it - riding jet skis or picking up sea shells - but do think they want you to know it - heck no. 17 toay is just so different from when we were 17.

My dughter went to Disneyland 4 times before she was 10 yrs old and actually she doesnt remember a one of those trip - she only relives it through the photos taken. I say take her and take lots of photos - if you can aford to take her a friend and you wont feel her as a downer on the vacation. Dont let her know it bothers you that she doesnt want to go, just smile and say when your 18 you can pick your own vacations.

[poobears]

And she's 17, not twelve. Most 17 year olds in my neighborhood have cars and jobs. Many of them have real responsibilities at home. She's past the age of consent in most states, and can drink in a lot of countries that have cruise ports. If you want kids to start acting like adults, you need to at least look like your making an attempt to treat them like one. That doesn't mean you leave major decisions to them, but the whole "I'm the parent, that's why" stops being a legitimate reason at that age. At least show her the respect of taking her feelings into consideration.

 

 

If you read what I wrote I said take all opinions into consideration but parents make the final decision. Sorry if you don't agree to that but that's what opinions are for.

 

I'm the parent is a very legitimate reason until they get their butts out of the house and pay their own way, like adults. My kids get all the respect in the world but when it comes down to it. My house, my rules, they don't run the house or make parental decisions but are more then welcome to voice their opinion and discuss anything.

[o2banotter]

I was like her at that age, my parents went to Hawaii when I was about that age but I wanted to stay behind and hang out with my friends. I finally went to Hawaii for my honymoon and at that point regretted not going with my parents the first time.

 

Here's an idea, leave her at home and tell her to "experience" having a job and "experiencing" exactly how much work it takes to be able to pay for these vacations. ;)

 

Excellent idea! Nothing like having a job to make you appreciate the better things in life. Especially when someone else is paying LOL

[GAMOM4]

I have two children one is a 20 year old daughter and the other is a son that will be 16 in June. When we were growing up we went on family vacations every year -- we stopped going when I turned about 15 or 16 -- I guess my parents didn't want to hear me and my sister complain that we didn't have a friend with us or whatever...I just always "assumed" it would be the same way with my kids - that once they graduated from high school that they would do things with their friends or spouses or whatever. Well I guess it is kind of working that way with my college age daughter because she goes and does all the time with her friends - we didn't take a vacation last year - she went on several - when I went to book the cruise this year I honestly wasn't going to take her - not that I didn't want her to go - but she is at a point in life that she enjoys things better without us - and believe me when one person is miserable on a trip or anywhere else it can make everyone miserable...but she insisted on going - actually she is dropping one of her summer classes to get to go - not that she "wants to go with us" she just loves to go. Everyone I work with are really big into these beach vacations where there children, parents, brothers, sisters everyone goes - that is fine for them - that is not me at all. I wasn't brought up doing that and I prefer just the four of us and thought the number would eventually dwindle down to the two of us when our children are grown. (But that may not happen). My son wants to go as long as we aren't gone to long (4 days is really to long for him). I guess I'm just typing this to say that families are so different and the way they do things and the way they want to do things are so different - I guess there is no wrong or right. I took a group of teenagers on their senior trip a couple of years ago and it was a cruise - there were a couple of them that said they would NEVER get back on a ship again - so it is not for everyone - and being miserable is no vacation for anyone - it may make memories - but it may not be the kind of memories you want.

[Trplnckl]

jbroons, are you beginnig to doubt the logic behind posting this thread??? LOL

[trailercruiser]

I guess DH & I just have a different relationship with my kids. We consider a family vacation a vacation for the family and we value input from our kids on where they would like to go. They do not make the decision - we all do together.

 

 

I think I saw your kids on a cruise years ago. They were pushing elevator buttons for every floor. I know , I know you had a talk and the kids voted that pushing elevator buttons was fun so they got to push buttons. How sweet of you to take a family vote on pushing elevator buttons. ;) It sounds like whatever the kids want to do for vacation they get. Gee it is wonder why kids today are so spoiled and have no manners. NOT ALL kids. When you have parents acting as friends is there a wonder why so many threads on kids misbehaving on cruises. :eek:

[LADYBUG34113]

Would she be any happier if she would have a friend go along with her?