The voyage from hell!!!

[garigoun]

The Voyage from Hell!!. Well that got your attention didn’t it? Just returned from a round trip with a five day stay in NYC. 25th June – 12 July. My idea of a perfect holiday.

 

I don’t propose to write a review, that has been done by far more eloquent and experienced posters than myself. Those of you who have been on the boat know all about it anyway. Instead I hope to provide answers to some of the questions which came up recently on the board and information which may be of use to first time Cunarders, together with some musings of mine own.

 

Embarkation. .

 

Arr. Soton a/port 09.35. Coffee/Bacon Butty, Taxi. Taxis from the airport are booked inside the terminal. You go to the desk and get a receipt and are allocated a taxi by number. You can pay at the desk or pay the driver. Pay at desk by Credit Card only for which there is a charge of I think £2. Wait for your name to be called and go to your numbered cab. In our case we did not have to wait but went straight to the taxi. Left a/port at 10.35. Simply asked the driver to take us to the QM2, figuring that if anyone would know where it was it would be a Soton cab driver. The pre-cruise docs. said Ocean Terminal but it wasn’t. In the event it was at the Queen Elizabeth II berth. Good, I like that berth. Cost, which you are told at the desk, is £19.50 plus tip of course. Arrive there 10.55. Dump luggage. Check-in opening was delayed for 25 mins, opened at 11.25. Checked through to lounge by 11.35. Called to boat at 12.10 just had time for a refreshing G&T from the little bar in the lounge area. Cabin by 12.15. Light lunch at Chef’s Galley (Nice hot beef sandwich). Luggage in cabin at 13.15.

 

Good W/bound voyage apart from the weather – There wasn’t any. Disappointingly it was smooth all the way I’ve been on rockier bus trips. . Some fog midway through, fog horn on for a while on a couple of days. Two days out from NYC sunny, People out in the steamer chairs, a few in bathing costumes. One day out, very warm, aft pool in use. Lectures voted very good. (So my wife informed me) Maritime Historian Bill Miller. I’d heard him before. Apparently he is known as ‘Mr. Ocean Liner’ a title he seems rather proud of for some reason. Art Historian Giancarlo Impiglia. And Professor Derek Fraser talking about political history (British) also voted very good by my wife who is the one with the political conscience in our family. Scrimshankers, Sailtrimmers and Lallygaggers to a man in my book – but there.

 

To Business.

 

Somebody asked about the types of tea on board. There are:-

 

Traditional English, English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Lapsang Souchong, Ceylon, Orange Peko, (which is not orange flavoured for those unfamiliar with the blend), Camomile, Peppermint, Green tea, Green tea with lotus flower and orange flower, Darjeeling, Apple Black Tea (don’t ask), Ginger and Orange tea and Earl Grey decaff.

 

Drinks:- All priced in US dollars and attract a 15% service charge.

 

Beer 4.95. Bottles 4.75 – 5.50. Guinness 5.50. Evian water 2.25 – 3.95. Soda 1.95, Coffee (in bars) 1.95. Tea (in bars 1.00). Hot Choc (in bars) 2.95. Elsewhere hot beverages are free. Real Ales selection:- Old Speckled Hen, Greene King IPA, Spitfire, Marston Pedigree ranging in price from 4.50 to 4.75.

 

Martinis 6.25 to 7.25. Cocktails 4.75 to 5.25. Spirits 4.95 to 5.75 . Specials e.g. Johnny Walker Blue range from 12 to 16 dollars. Malts from 6.75 to 22. Champers per glass 5.50 to 15. Wine per glass 5.75 to 8.25. Wine per bottle from 32 dollars to whatever you want to pay.

 

Laundrette. The one on deck 8 which I passed regularly only had anyone in it on two occasions.

 

Cunard laundry prices: Gents. Formal shirt 5 dollars down to 1 dollar for a handkerchief. Ladies 8 dollars for a dress down to 1.50 for tights. 50% extra for express same day delivery.

 

Dry cleaning. Gents 2 piece suit $11. Down to $2.25 for a tie.

 

Ladies $12.00 for a long evening dress down to $2.50 for underwear.

 

Again +50% for same day.

 

Smoking. Extract from Cunard’s Shipboard Information.

 

Please be advised that all public spaces are non smoking except within clearly defined smoking areas. Outside, on the open decks, smoking is only permitted on the starboard side of the aft end of the ship on decks 8,11 & 12. Smoking is permitted on deck 7 aft under the clock only. Inside, smoking is permitted in designated areas of the Golden Lion Pub, the port side of the upper level of the G32 night Club and the Empire Casino. Pipe and cigar smoking is only permitted in Churchill’s Cigar Lounge and on the permitted open deck spaces. Smoking is NOT permitted in any alleyways, inside or outside elevators, during lunch in the Golden Lion Pub, in the Chart Room or in the Commodore Club.

 

Our cabin had had a smoking occupant as indicated by a recent cigarette burn in the carpet. There was however, NO smoke odour at all. Sometimes smoke could be smelled by the elevators by stairway C presumable drawn in from the rear of the Golden Lion Pub. I did feel a little sorry for the poor smokers crowded into this tiny part of the pub and I speak as an ex smoker (25 years and counting) and even so having to endure the exaggerated coughing and nose wrinkling of the people passing through.

 

We were upgraded to a cabin with a restricted view ( I’ll post some pictures when I get the hang of my new photo programme) and it was also a cabin with a communicating door. We never heard a sound on the W/Bound leg. E/bound it was a little different, no NOISE as such but conversation was audible. As we were hardly in the cabin it didn’t make much difference to us. But a word of caution, if you are in one of these cabins, unless you are happy to have perfect strangers privy to the details of your latest surgical procedure or the matrimonial difficulties of your eldest grandson then KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.

 

Disembarkation in NYC – A dream. We went self help and were called while we were still at breakfast. Off boat at 6.50. Through Immigration by 0700. Was hoping to use the Aricebo car service recommended by Capn’ Pugwash but for some reason my mobile wouldn’t lock on to a network. Anyway the Yellow Cab queue was only about 15 yards long and we were in a cab by 0712. Went to west 52nd street Novotel arrived at 0746 and were back out on Broadway by 0800 having dumped our bags with the doorman. Cost of cab $22.30 + tip. Easy peasy............

 

Return leg. Embarkation no problems Yellow Cab to Red Hook, made sure driver knew the way before we got in and asked to go via Brooklyn bridge.. Took a little longer to get there but still only cost $24.10 + tip. Arrive terminal 12.10, in cabin by 12.40, luggage delivered by 13.10. Perfectly painless. Voyage back as before, no weather until one day out of UK when it got a bit windy but no movement to speak of. Deck 11 was closed a couple of days due to wind. Very o/cast and misty all the way though.

 

Lecturers much the same, with Mr. Ocean liner being exchanged for Mr. Maxtone-Graham. Went to his first one but it was the mixture as before, ‘The Only Way to Cross’ part one, and, interesting fellow , charming chap and born raconteur that he is, he does begin to pall after the third repetition.

 

We were placed on the wrong sitting but as we were on first and wanted second the Maitre D welcomed us with open arms. And that was about it. Lovely trip both ways, excellent time in NYC as always, sad to leave both the boat and the city.

 

Disembarkation. As our flight was not until mid afternoon we sat in the Todd English reading the Sunday papers and drinking coffee and eating muffins until two Gurkhas (sp) came and carried us kicking screaming to the quayside. Long line for cabs – BUT – a long line of cabs, we waited just over ten minutes and we were away by 10.50. Driver stated fare as we got in. It was £18.

 

A few points I mused upon while away. One thing I noticed this time which I haven’t before was the extraordinary amount of ‘carry-on’ luggage people take. It was brought forcibly to my attention by being tripped up by some bewildered wight shoving his rollalong between my feet in the waiting lounge. As I looked about me I was astounded by the stuff people were humping about. A rollalong in each hand, some with valise on top; suitcases that would not be allowed in an aeroplane cabin; In one case a suitcase, briefcase and three yes THREE suitcarriers. I don’t understand why people, especially elderly or infirm people, would want to burden themselves like this. Besides which it slows everything down. And why do people have so many questions at check-in? What can you possible want to know at that point that a) shouldn’t have been found out beforehand or b) can’t wait until you get on board?

 

Golden Lion Pub. This has been mentioned favourably for lunch on this board so I tried it. The first time we had a very enjoyable and generous Ploughman’s Lunch. The second time I tried the fish and chips which had also been praised. Oh Dear! The chips looked and tasted as though they had been cooked 3 days earlier. The fish was grey and tasteless and what were described as Mushy Peas arrived as a sad-looking quenelle of green paste of indeterminate origin. If it had been at any time remotely connected to the eponymous legume it was in the far distant past and at least 20 industrial processes ago. Revolting! A travesty of one of our national dishes, enough to put of any foreign tourist for life.

 

I wasn’t going to mention dress but I see that this perennial topic has been resurrected recently. And I do think that anyone who comes to the board for advice on this contentious matter can receive very conflicting views depending on whether it is answered by a dyed in the wool traditionalist or someone with a more modernistic outlook each of who promote their own corner. I have no axe to grind in this matter, most people who read this forum will realise that any comments I make concerning dress are firmly ‘tongue in cheek’ and anyone with an atom of sense will take no notice of them whatsoever. I personally am of the ‘Smart’ brigade. Not that that is any virtue of my own just the result of spending most of my life in uniform of one kind or another and having a father who wore a tie to work every day even though he was a taxi driver, lorry driver, bus driver and latterly a janitor. Neither would he leave the house without a jacket or a spit shine on his shoes. His attitude, not imposed, just rubbed off. So, here are my observations on my recent trip. There is good news and not so good news depending on where you stand on the formality question.

 

Dress at check-in was the usual gallimaufry of styles ranging from blazer and flannels through the ‘Assault on K9’; Gym Kit; and the ever popular ‘Just got up, cleaned out the garage and then came straight down to the docks’ look.

 

Day dress on board. The last time I saw so many badly dressed people gathered together in one place was when I collected my daughter from a student rave in the mid 70’s. What is the imperative that makes people look in the mirror, observe the 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80 year old reflection gazing back at them and promptly dress themselves like a colour blind prepubescent whose taste is entirely located in their mouth. Shorts and flip-flops are almost de rigeur as are grossly oversized basket-ball shirts. There were a few people dressed as adults but the best dressed passengers by far were the kids on board. Most other people seem to have based their ‘Cruise Collection’ on the offerings of that centre of international haute couture Barnsley Market. It is 14 months since I was on QM2 and Cunard definitely seem to have lowered the bar by default. Every day there were people at lunch and breakfast in the restaurant in shorts and flip-slops and even baseball caps.

 

Formal Nights. Traditionalists will be pleased to know that there was almost 100% compliance with the dress code. By far the largest number in black DJ’s a smaller number in cream tux’s some dark business suits with either bow or long ties. There were a few anomalies. Of course we had the mandatory kilts, only one of which appeared to be worn by someone with any idea of how to wear it. One poor soul had what looked like a red tartan travel rug with about 6 pleats draped about his person. To make matters worse it finished about 2 inches above the knee. There was an aged man who wore a uniform which I would swear, although I am no expert on military dress, belonged to a colonel in the union army of the civil war period. Someone who was seated at the next table was dressed in the strange combination of tartan trews, wing collar, bow tie and a bright yellow Chinese style silk jacket, quite bizarre. Unfortunately although the jacket was quite beautiful it fit him only where it touched. Then there were three or four, certainly not more, gents who had to assert their independence and appeared in the Commodore club in sports shirts and chinos. How insecure can you be to take the trouble to flout such a small rule? In the Queens Room lots of men discarded their jackets and ties and rolled up their shirt sleeves.

 

Senior Officers’ Cocktail party (held at 11.30 now) some men arrived in short sleeved shirts. Semi formal nights should be renamed Fairly Scruffy nights around the ship though the restaurant wasn’t too bad. Elegant casual nights pretty good response to this code.

 

So if you are one whose enjoyment depends on what other people wear then it’s not so good news. If you are of the casual persuasion it’s good news. I don’t care one way or the other.

 

For the hankerers after the Age of Elegance however, I’m afraid that the barbarian is at the gates. The Tracys and Waynes and the Bubbas and Shirleen Mays are in the ascendance.

 

But the Martinis are still as good, the sea is still outside the window and a W/bound TA is an is unbeatable way to get to a fabulous city.

 

The End (at Last)

 

An At Home Gari.

[pepperrn]

Orange Peko, (which is not orange flavoured for those unfamiliar with the blend)

"OP" is not a "blend"... it is a grade of tea. Bottom grade is "BOP" or "Broken Orange Pekoe".

 

An even better grade is FOP or Flowery Orange Pekoe.

 

The best grade is is "FTGFOP" or "Finest Tippy Golden Flowery Orange Pekoe" (the more letters a grade of tea has, the better the tea).

[Ericktina]

The Voyage from Hell!!. Well that got your attention didn’t it? Just returned from a round trip with a five day stay in NYC. 25th June – 12 July. My idea of a perfect holiday.

 

I don’t propose to write a review, that has been done by far more eloquent and experienced posters than myself. Those of you who have been on the boat know all about it anyway. Instead I hope to provide answers to some of the questions which came up recently on the board and information which may be of use to first time Cunarders, together with some musings of mine own.

 

Embarkation. .

 

Arr. Soton a/port 09.35. Coffee/Bacon Butty, Taxi. Taxis from the airport are booked inside the terminal. You go to the desk and get a receipt and are allocated a taxi by number. You can pay at the desk or pay the driver. Pay at desk by Credit Card only for which there is a charge of I think £2. Wait for your name to be called and go to your numbered cab. In our case we did not have to wait but went straight to the taxi. Left a/port at 10.35. Simply asked the driver to take us to the QM2, figuring that if anyone would know where it was it would be a Soton cab driver. The pre-cruise docs. said Ocean Terminal but it wasn’t. In the event it was at the Queen Elizabeth II berth. Good, I like that berth. Cost, which you are told at the desk, is £19.50 plus tip of course. Arrive there 10.55. Dump luggage. Check-in opening was delayed for 25 mins, opened at 11.25. Checked through to lounge by 11.35. Called to boat at 12.10 just had time for a refreshing G&T from the little bar in the lounge area. Cabin by 12.15. Light lunch at Chef’s Galley (Nice hot beef sandwich). Luggage in cabin at 13.15.

 

Good W/bound voyage apart from the weather – There wasn’t any. Disappointingly it was smooth all the way I’ve been on rockier bus trips. . Some fog midway through, fog horn on for a while on a couple of days. Two days out from NYC sunny, People out in the steamer chairs, a few in bathing costumes. One day out, very warm, aft pool in use. Lectures voted very good. (So my wife informed me) Maritime Historian Bill Miller. I’d heard him before. Apparently he is known as ‘Mr. Ocean Liner’ a title he seems rather proud of for some reason. Art Historian Giancarlo Impiglia. And Professor Derek Fraser talking about political history (British) also voted very good by my wife who is the one with the political conscience in our family. Scrimshankers, Sailtrimmers and Lallygaggers to a man in my book – but there.

 

To Business.

 

Somebody asked about the types of tea on board. There are:-

 

Traditional English, English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Lapsang Souchong, Ceylon, Orange Peko, (which is not orange flavoured for those unfamiliar with the blend), Camomile, Peppermint, Green tea, Green tea with lotus flower and orange flower, Darjeeling, Apple Black Tea (don’t ask), Ginger and Orange tea and Earl Grey decaff.

 

Drinks:- All priced in US dollars and attract a 15% service charge.

 

Beer 4.95. Bottles 4.75 – 5.50. Guinness 5.50. Evian water 2.25 – 3.95. Soda 1.95, Coffee (in bars) 1.95. Tea (in bars 1.00). Hot Choc (in bars) 2.95. Elsewhere hot beverages are free. Real Ales selection:- Old Speckled Hen, Greene King IPA, Spitfire, Marston Pedigree ranging in price from 4.50 to 4.75.

 

Martinis 6.25 to 7.25. Cocktails 4.75 to 5.25. Spirits 4.95 to 5.75 . Specials e.g. Johnny Walker Blue range from 12 to 16 dollars. Malts from 6.75 to 22. Champers per glass 5.50 to 15. Wine per glass 5.75 to 8.25. Wine per bottle from 32 dollars to whatever you want to pay.

 

Laundrette. The one on deck 8 which I passed regularly only had anyone in it on two occasions.

 

Cunard laundry prices: Gents. Formal shirt 5 dollars down to 1 dollar for a handkerchief. Ladies 8 dollars for a dress down to 1.50 for tights. 50% extra for express same day delivery.

 

Dry cleaning. Gents 2 piece suit $11. Down to $2.25 for a tie.

 

Ladies $12.00 for a long evening dress down to $2.50 for underwear.

 

Again +50% for same day.

 

Smoking. Extract from Cunard’s Shipboard Information.

 

Please be advised that all public spaces are non smoking except within clearly defined smoking areas. Outside, on the open decks, smoking is only permitted on the starboard side of the aft end of the ship on decks 8,11 & 12. Smoking is permitted on deck 7 aft under the clock only. Inside, smoking is permitted in designated areas of the Golden Lion Pub, the port side of the upper level of the G32 night Club and the Empire Casino. Pipe and cigar smoking is only permitted in Churchill’s Cigar Lounge and on the permitted open deck spaces. Smoking is NOT permitted in any alleyways, inside or outside elevators, during lunch in the Golden Lion Pub, in the Chart Room or in the Commodore Club.

 

Our cabin had had a smoking occupant as indicated by a recent cigarette burn in the carpet. There was however, NO smoke odour at all. Sometimes smoke could be smelled by the elevators by stairway C presumable drawn in from the rear of the Golden Lion Pub. I did feel a little sorry for the poor smokers crowded into this tiny part of the pub and I speak as an ex smoker (25 years and counting) and even so having to endure the exaggerated coughing and nose wrinkling of the people passing through.

 

We were upgraded to a cabin with a restricted view ( I’ll post some pictures when I get the hang of my new photo programme) and it was also a cabin with a communicating door. We never heard a sound on the W/Bound leg. E/bound it was a little different, no NOISE as such but conversation was audible. As we were hardly in the cabin it didn’t make much difference to us. But a word of caution, if you are in one of these cabins, unless you are happy to have perfect strangers privy to the details of your latest surgical procedure or the matrimonial difficulties of your eldest grandson then KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.

 

Disembarkation in NYC – A dream. We went self help and were called while we were still at breakfast. Off boat at 6.50. Through Immigration by 0700. Was hoping to use the Aricebo car service recommended by Capn’ Pugwash but for some reason my mobile wouldn’t lock on to a network. Anyway the Yellow Cab queue was only about 15 yards long and we were in a cab by 0712. Went to west 52nd street Novotel arrived at 0746 and were back out on Broadway by 0800 having dumped our bags with the doorman. Cost of cab $22.30 + tip. Easy peasy............

 

Return leg. Embarkation no problems Yellow Cab to Red Hook, made sure driver knew the way before we got in and asked to go via Brooklyn bridge.. Took a little longer to get there but still only cost $24.10 + tip. Arrive terminal 12.10, in cabin by 12.40, luggage delivered by 13.10. Perfectly painless. Voyage back as before, no weather until one day out of UK when it got a bit windy but no movement to speak of. Deck 11 was closed a couple of days due to wind. Very o/cast and misty all the way though.

 

Lecturers much the same, with Mr. Ocean liner being exchanged for Mr. Maxtone-Graham. Went to his first one but it was the mixture as before, ‘The Only Way to Cross’ part one, and, interesting fellow , charming chap and born raconteur that he is, he does begin to pall after the third repetition.

 

We were placed on the wrong sitting but as we were on first and wanted second the Maitre D welcomed us with open arms. And that was about it. Lovely trip both ways, excellent time in NYC as always, sad to leave both the boat and the city.

 

Disembarkation. As our flight was not until mid afternoon we sat in the Todd English reading the Sunday papers and drinking coffee and eating muffins until two Gurkhas (sp) came and carried us kicking screaming to the quayside. Long line for cabs – BUT – a long line of cabs, we waited just over ten minutes and we were away by 10.50. Driver stated fare as we got in. It was £18.

 

A few points I mused upon while away. One thing I noticed this time which I haven’t before was the extraordinary amount of ‘carry-on’ luggage people take. It was brought forcibly to my attention by being tripped up by some bewildered wight shoving his rollalong between my feet in the waiting lounge. As I looked about me I was astounded by the stuff people were humping about. A rollalong in each hand, some with valise on top; suitcases that would not be allowed in an aeroplane cabin; In one case a suitcase, briefcase and three yes THREE suitcarriers. I don’t understand why people, especially elderly or infirm people, would want to burden themselves like this. Besides which it slows everything down. And why do people have so many questions at check-in? What can you possible want to know at that point that a) shouldn’t have been found out beforehand or b) can’t wait until you get on board?

 

Golden Lion Pub. This has been mentioned favourably for lunch on this board so I tried it. The first time we had a very enjoyable and generous Ploughman’s Lunch. The second time I tried the fish and chips which had also been praised. Oh Dear! The chips looked and tasted as though they had been cooked 3 days earlier. The fish was grey and tasteless and what were described as Mushy Peas arrived as a sad-looking quenelle of green paste of indeterminate origin. If it had been at any time remotely connected to the eponymous legume it was in the far distant past and at least 20 industrial processes ago. Revolting! A travesty of one of our national dishes, enough to put of any foreign tourist for life.

 

I wasn’t going to mention dress but I see that this perennial topic has been resurrected recently. And I do think that anyone who comes to the board for advice on this contentious matter can receive very conflicting views depending on whether it is answered by a dyed in the wool traditionalist or someone with a more modernistic outlook each of who promote their own corner. I have no axe to grind in this matter, most people who read this forum will realise that any comments I make concerning dress are firmly ‘tongue in cheek’ and anyone with an atom of sense will take no notice of them whatsoever. I personally am of the ‘Smart’ brigade. Not that that is any virtue of my own just the result of spending most of my life in uniform of one kind or another and having a father who wore a tie to work every day even though he was a taxi driver, lorry driver, bus driver and latterly a janitor. Neither would he leave the house without a jacket or a spit shine on his shoes. His attitude, not imposed, just rubbed off. So, here are my observations on my recent trip. There is good news and not so good news depending on where you stand on the formality question.

 

Dress at check-in was the usual gallimaufry of styles ranging from blazer and flannels through the ‘Assault on K9’; Gym Kit; and the ever popular ‘Just got up, cleaned out the garage and then came straight down to the docks’ look.

 

Day dress on board. The last time I saw so many badly dressed people gathered together in one place was when I collected my daughter from a student rave in the mid 70’s. What is the imperative that makes people look in the mirror, observe the 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80 year old reflection gazing back at them and promptly dress themselves like a colour blind prepubescent whose taste is entirely located in their mouth. Shorts and flip-flops are almost de rigeur as are grossly oversized basket-ball shirts. There were a few people dressed as adults but the best dressed passengers by far were the kids on board. Most other people seem to have based their ‘Cruise Collection’ on the offerings of that centre of international haute couture Barnsley Market. It is 14 months since I was on QM2 and Cunard definitely seem to have lowered the bar by default. Every day there were people at lunch and breakfast in the restaurant in shorts and flip-slops and even baseball caps.

 

Formal Nights. Traditionalists will be pleased to know that there was almost 100% compliance with the dress code. By far the largest number in black DJ’s a smaller number in cream tux’s some dark business suits with either bow or long ties. There were a few anomalies. Of course we had the mandatory kilts, only one of which appeared to be worn by someone with any idea of how to wear it. One poor soul had what looked like a red tartan travel rug with about 6 pleats draped about his person. To make matters worse it finished about 2 inches above the knee. There was an aged man who wore a uniform which I would swear, although I am no expert on military dress, belonged to a colonel in the union army of the civil war period. Someone who was seated at the next table was dressed in the strange combination of tartan trews, wing collar, bow tie and a bright yellow Chinese style silk jacket, quite bizarre. Unfortunately although the jacket was quite beautiful it fit him only where it touched. Then there were three or four, certainly not more, gents who had to assert their independence and appeared in the Commodore club in sports shirts and chinos. How insecure can you be to take the trouble to flout such a small rule? In the Queens Room lots of men discarded their jackets and ties and rolled up their shirt sleeves.

 

Senior Officers’ Cocktail party (held at 11.30 now) some men arrived in short sleeved shirts. Semi formal nights should be renamed Fairly Scruffy nights around the ship though the restaurant wasn’t too bad. Elegant casual nights pretty good response to this code.

 

So if you are one whose enjoyment depends on what other people wear then it’s not so good news. If you are of the casual persuasion it’s good news. I don’t care one way or the other.

 

For the hankerers after the Age of Elegance however, I’m afraid that the barbarian is at the gates. The Tracys and Waynes and the Bubbas and Shirleen Mays are in the ascendance.

 

But the Martinis are still as good, the sea is still outside the window and a W/bound TA is an is unbeatable way to get to a fabulous city.

 

The End (at Last)

 

An At Home Gari.

Thank you for a VERY amusing review!! Loved the characterizations of the dress, although sad and funny at the same time !! Barbarians at the gates?? I fear it is largely the fault of my countrymen in general--so sorry. (I will be chastised for that, I know). The only dressing up that seems to go on here is at a teenager's prom night!! Then the wedding--and then, the end--forever!! Cunard is not for everyone--the formality is an integral part of the experience, and it is a shame that more each year miss that. We DO cruise on other lines, and always have a wonderful time. Just a different experience. Hope we meet onboard someday.

[njguy_south]

Great review. Thanks!

 

But ErickTina, I must state that it is not simply Americans who are dressing down these days. I was on a cruise through the Med. last summer. The ship carried about 2,400 passengers. On that ship were 65 Americans and almost 2,300 Brits. I am not saying who was dressed how, but you should have seen the people coming to dinner in t-shirts, shorts, even pajama bottoms. So it is not only Americans who are dressing that way.

 

Why does everyone always knock Americans as being a country of slobs?

[bobby1119]

The Voyage from Hell!!.

 

It caught my attention indeed!

I don't know whether I loved your review or diction more. I can't wait to use 'gallimaufry' in a gathering.

Well done and spot-on, as you say.

Bobby

(at home, 11 miles from NYC, in dreaded shorts & flip, flops...martini nearby)

:rolleyes:

[Cruise Liner Fan]

On my back2back QM2 transatlantic crossing from June 19th to July 1st thankfully I do not think I did see anyone dressed as a slob whether during the day or in the evening.If anyone who lives in the UK is ever interested to see disgusting dress,when the next time you are in New York City after a QM2 Westbound Crossing around in Midtown Manhattan you would probably see a lot of young American men from teen-aged to probably in their thirties wearing very baggy jeans in which top part of the baggy jeans don't even end at their waistline.The top part of the baggy jeans ends about several inches below the waistline and their underwear rises above the top part of the baggy jeans.Many times almost the entire underwear is exposed.These American young men who dress this way well there is only one word to describe them.They are SLOBS who have no shame and who also think that exposing their underwear is cool.Regards,From an very disgusted American,Jerry

[cruisegal101]

Gari, great review in a style as only you can do!

[guernseyguy]

Gari - great review - how was the food & service? The July 4th cruise has had its usual slating......so I wondered if that was the rule or the exception.....?

 

Peter

[lord of the seas]

Gari,wonderful review with great humour.

I am afraid that when you step out of your QG environment on such a large vessel then the Tracy and Wayne brigade are in abundance.

The peasants are revolting is the cry.

I will stick with Seabourn in the future.

[lord of the seas]

Gari - great review - how was the food & service? The July 4th cruise has had its usual slating......so I wondered if that was the rule or the exception.....?

 

Peter

 

Peter,It's the thin end of the wedge :eek:

[capnpugwash]

Gari, welcome home... what a nice review, succinct, concise and apart from your unforgiveable Orange Peehole error, reasonably accurate. All words which one immediately associates with your works. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Cruachan]

The Voyage from Hell!!.

 

 

Oh... your back!

 

J

[soletread]

The Voyage from Hell!!. Well that got your attention didn’t it? Just returned from a round trip with a five day stay in NYC. 25th June – 12 July. My idea of a perfect holiday.

 

 

 

I don’t propose to write a review, that has been done by far more eloquent and experienced posters than myself. Those of you who have been on the boat know all about it anyway. Instead I hope to provide answers to some of the questions which came up recently on the board and information which may be of use to first time Cunarders, together with some musings of mine own.

 

 

Embarkation. .

 

 

Arr. Soton a/port 09.35. Coffee/Bacon Butty, Taxi. Taxis from the airport are booked inside the terminal. You go to the desk and get a receipt and are allocated a taxi by number. You can pay at the desk or pay the driver. Pay at desk by Credit Card only for which there is a charge of I think £2. Wait for your name to be called and go to your numbered cab. In our case we did not have to wait but went straight to the taxi. Left a/port at 10.35. Simply asked the driver to take us to the QM2, figuring that if anyone would know where it was it would be a Soton cab driver. The pre-cruise docs. said Ocean Terminal but it wasn’t. In the event it was at the Queen Elizabeth II berth. Good, I like that berth. Cost, which you are told at the desk, is £19.50 plus tip of course. Arrive there 10.55. Dump luggage. Check-in opening was delayed for 25 mins, opened at 11.25. Checked through to lounge by 11.35. Called to boat at 12.10 just had time for a refreshing G&T from the little bar in the lounge area. Cabin by 12.15. Light lunch at Chef’s Galley (Nice hot beef sandwich). Luggage in cabin at 13.15.

 

 

 

Good W/bound voyage apart from the weather – There wasn’t any. Disappointingly it was smooth all the way I’ve been on rockier bus trips. . Some fog midway through, fog horn on for a while on a couple of days. Two days out from NYC sunny, People out in the steamer chairs, a few in bathing costumes. One day out, very warm, aft pool in use. Lectures voted very good. (So my wife informed me) Maritime Historian Bill Miller. I’d heard him before. Apparently he is known as ‘Mr. Ocean Liner’ a title he seems rather proud of for some reason. Art Historian Giancarlo Impiglia. And Professor Derek Fraser talking about political history (British) also voted very good by my wife who is the one with the political conscience in our family. Scrimshankers, Sailtrimmers and Lallygaggers to a man in my book – but there.

 

 

 

To Business.

 

 

Somebody asked about the types of tea on board. There are:-

 

 

Traditional English, English Breakfast, Earl Grey, Lapsang Souchong, Ceylon, Orange Peko, (which is not orange flavoured for those unfamiliar with the blend), Camomile, Peppermint, Green tea, Green tea with lotus flower and orange flower, Darjeeling, Apple Black Tea (don’t ask), Ginger and Orange tea and Earl Grey decaff.

 

 

 

Drinks:- All priced in US dollars and attract a 15% service charge.

 

 

Beer 4.95. Bottles 4.75 – 5.50. Guinness 5.50. Evian water 2.25 – 3.95. Soda 1.95, Coffee (in bars) 1.95. Tea (in bars 1.00). Hot Choc (in bars) 2.95. Elsewhere hot beverages are free. Real Ales selection:- Old Speckled Hen, Greene King IPA, Spitfire, Marston Pedigree ranging in price from 4.50 to 4.75.

 

 

Martinis 6.25 to 7.25. Cocktails 4.75 to 5.25. Spirits 4.95 to 5.75 . Specials e.g. Johnny Walker Blue range from 12 to 16 dollars. Malts from 6.75 to 22. Champers per glass 5.50 to 15. Wine per glass 5.75 to 8.25. Wine per bottle from 32 dollars to whatever you want to pay.

 

 

 

Laundrette. The one on deck 8 which I passed regularly only had anyone in it on two occasions.

 

 

Cunard laundry prices: Gents. Formal shirt 5 dollars down to 1 dollar for a handkerchief. Ladies 8 dollars for a dress down to 1.50 for tights. 50% extra for express same day delivery.

 

 

Dry cleaning. Gents 2 piece suit $11. Down to $2.25 for a tie.

 

 

Ladies $12.00 for a long evening dress down to $2.50 for underwear.

 

 

Again +50% for same day.

 

 

 

Smoking. Extract from Cunard’s Shipboard Information.

 

 

 

Please be advised that all public spaces are non smoking except within clearly defined smoking areas. Outside, on the open decks, smoking is only permitted on the starboard side of the aft end of the ship on decks 8,11 & 12. Smoking is permitted on deck 7 aft under the clock only. Inside, smoking is permitted in designated areas of the Golden Lion Pub, the port side of the upper level of the G32 night Club and the Empire Casino. Pipe and cigar smoking is only permitted in Churchill’s Cigar Lounge and on the permitted open deck spaces. Smoking is NOT permitted in any alleyways, inside or outside elevators, during lunch in the Golden Lion Pub, in the Chart Room or in the Commodore Club.

 

 

 

 

Our cabin had had a smoking occupant as indicated by a recent cigarette burn in the carpet. There was however, NO smoke odour at all. Sometimes smoke could be smelled by the elevators by stairway C presumable drawn in from the rear of the Golden Lion Pub. I did feel a little sorry for the poor smokers crowded into this tiny part of the pub and I speak as an ex smoker (25 years and counting) and even so having to endure the exaggerated coughing and nose wrinkling of the people passing through.

 

 

 

We were upgraded to a cabin with a restricted view ( I’ll post some pictures when I get the hang of my new photo programme) and it was also a cabin with a communicating door. We never heard a sound on the W/Bound leg. E/bound it was a little different, no NOISE as such but conversation was audible. As we were hardly in the cabin it didn’t make much difference to us. But a word of caution, if you are in one of these cabins, unless you are happy to have perfect strangers privy to the details of your latest surgical procedure or the matrimonial difficulties of your eldest grandson then KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.

 

 

 

Disembarkation in NYC – A dream. We went self help and were called while we were still at breakfast. Off boat at 6.50. Through Immigration by 0700. Was hoping to use the Aricebo car service recommended by Capn’ Pugwash but for some reason my mobile wouldn’t lock on to a network. Anyway the Yellow Cab queue was only about 15 yards long and we were in a cab by 0712. Went to west 52nd street Novotel arrived at 0746 and were back out on Broadway by 0800 having dumped our bags with the doorman. Cost of cab $22.30 + tip. Easy peasy............

 

 

Return leg. Embarkation no problems Yellow Cab to Red Hook, made sure driver knew the way before we got in and asked to go via Brooklyn bridge.. Took a little longer to get there but still only cost $24.10 + tip. Arrive terminal 12.10, in cabin by 12.40, luggage delivered by 13.10. Perfectly painless. Voyage back as before, no weather until one day out of UK when it got a bit windy but no movement to speak of. Deck 11 was closed a couple of days due to wind. Very o/cast and misty all the way though.

 

 

Lecturers much the same, with Mr. Ocean liner being exchanged for Mr. Maxtone-Graham. Went to his first one but it was the mixture as before, ‘The Only Way to Cross’ part one, and, interesting fellow , charming chap and born raconteur that he is, he does begin to pall after the third repetition.

 

 

We were placed on the wrong sitting but as we were on first and wanted second the Maitre D welcomed us with open arms. And that was about it. Lovely trip both ways, excellent time in NYC as always, sad to leave both the boat and the city.

 

 

Disembarkation. As our flight was not until mid afternoon we sat in the Todd English reading the Sunday papers and drinking coffee and eating muffins until two Gurkhas (sp) came and carried us kicking screaming to the quayside. Long line for cabs – BUT – a long line of cabs, we waited just over ten minutes and we were away by 10.50. Driver stated fare as we got in. It was £18.

 

 

 

A few points I mused upon while away. One thing I noticed this time which I haven’t before was the extraordinary amount of ‘carry-on’ luggage people take. It was brought forcibly to my attention by being tripped up by some bewildered wight shoving his rollalong between my feet in the waiting lounge. As I looked about me I was astounded by the stuff people were humping about. A rollalong in each hand, some with valise on top; suitcases that would not be allowed in an aeroplane cabin; In one case a suitcase, briefcase and three yes THREE suitcarriers. I don’t understand why people, especially elderly or infirm people, would want to burden themselves like this. Besides which it slows everything down. And why do people have so many questions at check-in? What can you possible want to know at that point that a) shouldn’t have been found out beforehand or b) can’t wait until you get on board?

 

 

 

Golden Lion Pub. This has been mentioned favourably for lunch on this board so I tried it. The first time we had a very enjoyable and generous Ploughman’s Lunch. The second time I tried the fish and chips which had also been praised. Oh Dear! The chips looked and tasted as though they had been cooked 3 days earlier. The fish was grey and tasteless and what were described as Mushy Peas arrived as a sad-looking quenelle of green paste of indeterminate origin. If it had been at any time remotely connected to the eponymous legume it was in the far distant past and at least 20 industrial processes ago. Revolting! A travesty of one of our national dishes, enough to put of any foreign tourist for life.

 

 

 

I wasn’t going to mention dress but I see that this perennial topic has been resurrected recently. And I do think that anyone who comes to the board for advice on this contentious matter can receive very conflicting views depending on whether it is answered by a dyed in the wool traditionalist or someone with a more modernistic outlook each of who promote their own corner. I have no axe to grind in this matter, most people who read this forum will realise that any comments I make concerning dress are firmly ‘tongue in cheek’ and anyone with an atom of sense will take no notice of them whatsoever. I personally am of the ‘Smart’ brigade. Not that that is any virtue of my own just the result of spending most of my life in uniform of one kind or another and having a father who wore a tie to work every day even though he was a taxi driver, lorry driver, bus driver and latterly a janitor. Neither would he leave the house without a jacket or a spit shine on his shoes. His attitude, not imposed, just rubbed off. So, here are my observations on my recent trip. There is good news and not so good news depending on where you stand on the formality question.

 

 

Dress at check-in was the usual gallimaufry of styles ranging from blazer and flannels through the ‘Assault on K9’; Gym Kit; and the ever popular ‘Just got up, cleaned out the garage and then came straight down to the docks’ look.

 

 

Day dress on board. The last time I saw so many badly dressed people gathered together in one place was when I collected my daughter from a student rave in the mid 70’s. What is the imperative that makes people look in the mirror, observe the 40, 50, 60, 70 and 80 year old reflection gazing back at them and promptly dress themselves like a colour blind prepubescent whose taste is entirely located in their mouth. Shorts and flip-flops are almost de rigeur as are grossly oversized basket-ball shirts. There were a few people dressed as adults but the best dressed passengers by far were the kids on board. Most other people seem to have based their ‘Cruise Collection’ on the offerings of that centre of international haute couture Barnsley Market. It is 14 months since I was on QM2 and Cunard definitely seem to have lowered the bar by default. Every day there were people at lunch and breakfast in the restaurant in shorts and flip-slops and even baseball caps.

 

 

Formal Nights. Traditionalists will be pleased to know that there was almost 100% compliance with the dress code. By far the largest number in black DJ’s a smaller number in cream tux’s some dark business suits with either bow or long ties. There were a few anomalies. Of course we had the mandatory kilts, only one of which appeared to be worn by someone with any idea of how to wear it. One poor soul had what looked like a red tartan travel rug with about 6 pleats draped about his person. To make matters worse it finished about 2 inches above the knee. There was an aged man who wore a uniform which I would swear, although I am no expert on military dress, belonged to a colonel in the union army of the civil war period. Someone who was seated at the next table was dressed in the strange combination of tartan trews, wing collar, bow tie and a bright yellow Chinese style silk jacket, quite bizarre. Unfortunately although the jacket was quite beautiful it fit him only where it touched. Then there were three or four, certainly not more, gents who had to assert their independence and appeared in the Commodore club in sports shirts and chinos. How insecure can you be to take the trouble to flout such a small rule? In the Queens Room lots of men discarded their jackets and ties and rolled up their shirt sleeves.

 

 

Senior Officers’ Cocktail party (held at 11.30 now) some men arrived in short sleeved shirts. Semi formal nights should be renamed Fairly Scruffy nights around the ship though the restaurant wasn’t too bad. Elegant casual nights pretty good response to this code.

 

 

So if you are one whose enjoyment depends on what other people wear then it’s not so good news. If you are of the casual persuasion it’s good news. I don’t care one way or the other.

 

 

For the hankerers after the Age of Elegance however, I’m afraid that the barbarian is at the gates. The Tracys and Waynes and the Bubbas and Shirleen Mays are in the ascendance.

 

 

But the Martinis are still as good, the sea is still outside the window and a W/bound TA is an is unbeatable way to get to a fabulous city.

 

 

The End (at Last)

 

 

An At Home Gari.

 

 

 

Hi Gari

 

great report very interesting I'm taking the TA westbound on November 11th First time TA first time Cunard

 

You have really confirmed what I expected to find so expect no disappointments

 

I'm a big beliver in its better to be over dressed than under dressed in certain situations and although I live and die in jeans most of the year never take them on a cruise holiday

 

Firstly I like a break from denim secondly I don't feel there approriate

 

Good to hear that generally the formal dress code is upheld as the dressing for dinner is a large part of the cruise experience for my wife and I

 

What I find odd about observing passengers on a cruise through all parts of the day and evening is that people don't seem to understand you can look casual without looking like a complete Rat bag

 

And to confirm what another member said above its not always the kids and the young that look the worse I have spotted some real fashion horrors in people who are deffinitely old enough to know better

 

Keep up the good work

 

Soletread

[GAV BOY]

Oh... your back!

 

J

 

I never even realised he had gone ! :eek: :rolleyes:

[Dorchester]

Glad that you had a great time Gari, and many thanks for the concise report in your usual amusing style, coupled with your witty use of English grammar. Keep up the good work!

 

Thanks & regards,

David

[garigoun]

"OP" is not a "blend"... it is a grade of tea. Bottom grade is "BOP" or "Broken Orange Pekoe".

 

An even better grade is FOP or Flowery Orange Pekoe.

 

The best grade is is "FTGFOP" or "Finest Tippy Golden Flowery Orange Pekoe" (the more letters a grade of tea has, the better the tea).

 

Oh Dear. Pep. Do you always have to be so predictable?

 

Peccavi. Mea Culpa.

 

A Teabag Using Gari.

[garigoun]

I never even realised he had gone ! :eek: :rolleyes:

Cruel Gav. Uneccessarily cruel as I am suffering from Post Cruise Stess disorder.

A Hurt Gari

 

 

oH hell! I meant Post Crossing Stress Disorder. Sorry Pep. Don't chastise me any more today.

G.

[phillipahain]

Sloppy dress , Barberians and the Waynes and Traceys of this world are indeed spoiling so many aspects of cruising which so many of us enjoy

 

We love to dress up and have the opportiunity to wear nice clothes

We like to eat in a decent restuarant with civilised table manners and use of cutlery

 

Sadley the cheaper cruises become especially in the final sell off at any price scene the USA cancel just before final payment situation causes ..............the more plebs there are getting onboard and the more those of us who care about standards retreat ...........OK if one can afford the likes of Seabourne etc but many cannot

 

Why cant the Barberians stick with the likes of Carnival and NCL and leave the rest of us to enjoy what little is left of the ambience of old style cruising

[GAV BOY]

Cruel Gav. Uneccessarily cruel as I am suffering from Post Cruise Stess disorder.

A Hurt Gari

 

 

oH hell! I meant Post Crossing Stress Disorder. Sorry Pep. Don't chastise me any more today.

G.

 

Sorry Gari, i was only joking :p :rolleyes:

 

glad you had a great time :D

 

Gav ;)

[The Real PM]

 

We like to eat in a decent restuarant with civilised table manners and use of cutlery

 

Sadley the cheaper cruises become especially in the final sell off at any price scene the USA cancel just before final payment situation causes ..............the more plebs there are getting onboard and the more those of us who care about standards retreat ...........OK if one can afford the likes of Seabourne etc but many cannot

 

Why cant the Barberians stick with the likes of Carnival and NCL and leave the rest of us to enjoy what little is left of the ambience of old style cruising

 

I am just curious just what you mean when you speak of the "use of cutlery". Do you mean that passengers eat like cavemen? Or are you referring to the way American passengers use utensils?

[southwestie]

Oh Dear. Pep. Do you always have to be so predictable?

 

Peccavi. Mea Culpa.

 

A Teabag Using Gari.

 

 

Welcome back, pleased you had a great time, i too didnt know about the tea, but you know with people , there is a saying, we can all be teachers, at least he didnt put a red ring around it lol

[southwestie]

I am just curious just what you mean when you speak of the "use of cutlery". Do you mean that passengers eat like cavemen? Or are you referring to the way American passengers use utensils?

 

 

I dont think gari means the way you use your fork lol, no problems there, but I have to say the last crossing and the Norway cruise this year has seen a hugh drop in standards as cabins are being sold off for next to nothing

[garigoun]

Oh... your back!

 

J

What about my back?

G.

[cruisegal101]

What about my back?

G.

 

Can't you read?:confused: Your back.;)

[Cruachan]

I never even realised he had gone ! :eek: :rolleyes:

 

You mean to say you didn't notice how quiet it had been!?

 

:)

 

J