Parents... this ? is for you!

[Life without whine]

Almost feel like I should apologize in advance - but what I would like to do is ask everyone to take a deep breathe and consider this ....

 

I met 2 brothers in June of 2005 when they were 10 & 12 years old - they had been in & out of foster care for 8 years. On our initial forays into the public as their adopting parents you would NEVER know by looking at them that they were not our biological children. Their behavior was incredibly bad :mad: - no one had taken the time to give them any social skills. Add that to poorly managed ADHD & somedays it even surprises me that we went thru with the adoption. We were horribly embarrassed on a regular basis - unbelievable stories from those days.

 

Over these few years we have laid down some clear family rules and been in & out of more therapists offices than anyone should ever have to endure. The boy's teacher conferences are next week - always start the year right by opening the door for the teachers. I can't fix what I don't know.

 

Jump to January, 2010 - our first cruise. I expect that I may have to reprimand them for driving each other nuts on a few occasions & they won't like signing the contract drafted on Family vacations website detailing the consequences for things they may consider doing. I welcome & encourage any of you to feel free to correct my boys & find me to let me know.

 

I will also let you also know - in the few short years they have been with us they are now taking honors & college level classes, participating in school sports & band & like every other teenager on the face of the planet - they know everything already - but I am still one proud mama. :o If anyone is thinking about adoption in Florida feel free to contact me anytime.

 

Please think twice before getting too upset with a parent .... they may not be the parent, yet. But any one going thru the system will always welcome wise words if spoken appropriately.

 

On the other hand, since the boys moved in, twice I have found myself telling adults not to cuss around my kids - and I will do it again if it is inappropriate around others ..... but I will be nice about it.:)

[OZjones12]

This is an interesting topic and I have many times said something to kids about "acting up" and my wife laughes because most are terrified when I say something. (I have a TON of tattoos) I never yell I just say hey knock it off and they freeze. not my place to disipline but when i get in an elevator and all the bottons are pushed I am not happy! (:

 

I think the best thing is to hang them over the railing by their ankles, maybe pretend to slip once? wont hurt them...right?

[itchin2cruz]

I wouldn't mind at all if you corrected my child. I believe it takes a village...

on the other hand, I don't let my child have the chance to act out and get on someone else's nerves.

[kdinkus1]

Just when I thought my post had died, it's being resurrected! I better find my bucket of popcorn and lay low... :rolleyes: Seriously though, I think what it comes down to, is that most children on cruises are pretty well behaved. Parents are doing an admirable job keeping them 'reigned' in on ship. With that being said, there are still a few kids who will do whatever they can to bring attention to themselves. As it has been pointed out thru-out this thread, many parents do appreciate the help from others should their kids misbehave. However, there are others who would prefer us to not step in under any circumstances. That doesn't make either group right or wrong. It just makes it more difficult to know the correct thing to do if a child is acting up and no parent is around. So at the risk of getting another post (sorry MP)... my final thought is this: If a child is TRULY misbehaving (not merely a kid being a kid and having a good time!), then we first should see if the parent is around to say something to. If not, then depending on the situation, I might or might not speak up. NO bullying or raising my voice! It is important for the child to know that that kind of behavior is wrong. Especially if it's dangerous to themselves or others. One last thought: most kids know when they are 'acting out'! So if they are reprimanded by another adult, I highly doubt that they will run and tell their parents. Besides which, with over 2500+ on board, it would be difficult to locate the one person who had said something to your child. It would be nice to live in a world where all children were respectful of the rules on board ship (and everywhere else). However, we know that that's just not true. Most people will probably look the other way rather than dealing with these type of situations. Yet there will be others who have had enough with rude and obnoxious behavior and will speak up! Just remember... these are children and not adults when the need to reprimand someone else's child happens. We must be tactful and LOVING in all things! Huge difference between yelling at a child for running into people in the hallways or for asking them to 'slow down' and 'be more careful'.. This is MY way of repriminding other's children...

[MrPete]

MP holds.

[halos]

MP holds.

 

:eek:

 

I must be on the wrong thread.

Last I heard, MP 'removes' :p

[HHIslandGirl]

Just when I thought my post had died, it's being resurrected! I better find my bucket of popcorn and lay low... :rolleyes: Seriously though, I think what it comes down to, is that most children on cruises are pretty well behaved. Parents are doing an admirable job keeping them 'reigned' in on ship. With that being said, there are still a few kids who will do whatever they can to bring attention to themselves. As it has been pointed out thru-out this thread, many parents do appreciate the help from others should their kids misbehave. However, there are others who would prefer us to not step in under any circumstances. That doesn't make either group right or wrong. It just makes it more difficult to know the correct thing to do if a child is acting up and no parent is around. So at the risk of getting another post (sorry MP)... my final thought is this: If a child is TRULY misbehaving (not merely a kid being a kid and having a good time!), then we first should see if the parent is around to say something to. If not, then depending on the situation, I might or might not speak up. NO bullying or raising my voice! It is important for the child to know that that kind of behavior is wrong. Especially if it's dangerous to themselves or others. One last thought: most kids know when they are 'acting out'! So if they are reprimanded by another adult, I highly doubt that they will run and tell their parents. Besides which, with over 2500+ on board, it would be difficult to locate the one person who had said something to your child. It would be nice to live in a world where all children were respectful of the rules on board ship (and everywhere else). However, we know that that's just not true. Most people will probably look the other way rather than dealing with these type of situations. Yet there will be others who have had enough with rude and obnoxious behavior and will speak up! Just remember... these are children and not adults when the need to reprimand someone else's child happens. We must be tactful and LOVING in all things! Huge difference between yelling at a child for running into people in the hallways or for asking them to 'slow down' and 'be more careful'.. This is MY way of repriminding other's children...

Completely off topic to the OP...is Gammy what your grandkids call you? I called my paternal grandmother Gammy and I have never heard anyone else use it before! Apparently, as a very little girl I thought "Gammy" sounded like "funny" and that's what I started calling her!

Now, related to the topic at hand...if a child cuts in front of me on the buffet or splashes me in the pool or otherwise behaves rudely, they're going to hear about it. I'm not going to snatch someone's kid up by the hair or anything like that...but kids don't always remember their manners when they're excited or in a hurry.

If a grown-up cuts in front of me in line or splashes me in the pool or whatever...I'll call them out on it too...

[MrPete]

:eek:

 

I must be on the wrong thread.

Last I heard, MP 'removes' :p

 

Now you've done it! You made me spit out Ovaltine!

[bplazo]

If my daughter acts inappropriately I would like someone to tell me so that I can correct the problem. Although, sometimes what I think is ok someone else might think that it is wrong. I remember when my daughter was in 2nd grade her teacher sent me home a letter that my daughter was stealing. Turns out that she put some sand in her pocket from the sandbox.

 

As far as someone splashing me in the pool, as much as I hate being splashed you have to expect it because you are in there to get wet.

[halos]

Now you've done it! You made me spit out Ovaltine!

 

as long as you keyboard is ok, it's all good :D

 

 

Ovaltine ???????? LOL!

[MrPete]

 

 

Ovaltine ???????? LOL!

 

OK. Absinthe. ;)

[Nunu]

We were watching Mad Men last night and as it's set in the early 60's? it showed a man at a kids birthday party slapping the face of a young boy (not his) after he had dropped something on the floor by accident. Times have changed...

[minncruisers]

I also believe there is a right and wrong way to discipline someone else's child(ren). I've seen many adults rudely reprimand a child that isn't theirs. How many on here have had that experience in their lives over something that was obviously trivial? I know I did when I was younger. Like one other poster said "What's appropriate to a parent may not be appropriate to someone else" and as long as you tell a child their behavior is unacceptable in a decent, respectful way then I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

 

My entire family and I will never forget a pair of young boys on our Mayan ruin excursion who ran all over the place and well out of sight of their parents several times. The parents just smiled when the boys ran across the field to the top of the big ruin. The boys were around 6 and 7 years old. We kept shooting the parents one of those "hey your kids are misbehaving, are you for real?" looks but it was obvious the parents thought their boys were angels. They were definitely little demons.:mad: My girls were 13 and 16 at the time and definitely thought the same thing as DH and I. Our girls talk about those awful kids and parents to this day. I'm tempted to say which cruise it was and where the family is from but I'll refrain.:rolleyes:

[Martini Mom]

Our kids respect authority and respond to "the look". However, if someone caught my kids being unruly (home or abroad), I wouldn't mind a "Hey, shhhh", "you need to get down from there", or "you need to go find your parents". Those are things I would say to a stranger's child. Many kids these day ignore adults, but I would try anyway. I would draw the line at any physical contact, of course.

[halos]

OK. Absinthe. ;)

 

I kinda like Ovaltine (from what I recall. It's been a zillion years since I've had it) :p

 

IMy entire family and I will never forget a pair of young boys on our Mayan ruin excursion who ran all over the place and well out of sight of their parents several times. The parents just smiled when the boys ran across the field to the top of the big ruin. The boys were around 6 and 7 years old. We kept shooting the parents one of those "hey your kids are misbehaving, are you for real?" looks but it was obvious the parents thought their boys were angels. They were definitely little demons.:mad: My girls were 13 and 16 at the time and definitely thought the same thing as DH and I. Our girls talk about those awful kids and parents to this day. I'm tempted to say which cruise it was and where the family is from but I'll refrain.:rolleyes:

 

That's one of the times when I would definitely say something. Those ruins are sacred and kids running amok is just plain disrespectful.

[kdinkus1]

Completely off topic to the OP...is Gammy what your grandkids call you? I called my paternal grandmother Gammy and I have never heard anyone else use it before! Apparently, as a very little girl I thought "Gammy" sounded like "funny" and that's what I started calling her!

Now, related to the topic at hand...if a child cuts in front of me on the buffet or splashes me in the pool or otherwise behaves rudely, they're going to hear about it. I'm not going to snatch someone's kid up by the hair or anything like that...but kids don't always remember their manners when they're excited or in a hurry.

If a grown-up cuts in front of me in line or splashes me in the pool or whatever...I'll call them out on it too...

 

Yes... my grandkids call me Gammy! I love it because it is so different than 'grandma' or 'grammy', etc... I love your story about your gammy's name too. :)