Sabre407

Why was this shadow banned?

Yes! The elevator would finally show up and be filled to the brim. I’m not squeezing into that thing. Have to wait for the door to close so you can wait for yet another elevator.

I was just in sister ship Horizon, and YES. It was nearly impossible to get away from people, thankfully we had a balcony. The elevators were always a congested nightmare and so was the buffet. I know it’s a lot of people, but damn.

Oops, forgot a big one: The Theater: Why are there columns in the theater? Why does the floor not gradually rise up so people in the back can see the stage? We went to “Love and Marriage” and heard the jokes and their filthy stories, but barely saw the actual couples. What in the heck were they thinking?

Cruise: 6 nights to Ocho Rios, Grand Cayman and Cozumel First impression walking onto Horizon: It was hot. Very hot. The atrium was stifling, so we went to the congested elevator bay where it was even hotter. We had a hard time escaping the heat that week on Horizon, and it wasn’t even hot outside. Even Jamaica in December wasn’t hot. The main dining room was hot. The elevators were hot. The hallways were hot. The arcade and casino were hot. Our cabin, thankfully, was comfortable. The elevators: While we’re on the subject, Horizon has the dumbest elevator concept I’ve ever seen. It’s great in theory, horrible in person. You press a menu to tell the ship what deck you want and it tells you which elevator to wait for. During this time, you may be standing there for 10 minutes and watch as the other three elevators come by and leave you. Multiple times. Did the passengers stand for this? No. People began just hopping on and hopping off trying to get as close to whatever deck as they could. The best thing about the elevators is we used the stairs a lot more. This is where my friend fell after a few drinks at Havana. The food: Lunch options were amazing. The free pasta bar was awesome. Blue Iguana is on another level. I was excited to eat buffet cake every single day. Dinner was just…ok. Edible. We began skipping the MDR because the food was always lukewarm and mediocre and rushed. The buffet wasn’t much better. Jiji was so exceptional that we went twice. The alcohol: There is genuine alcohol in the drinks at Havana Bar. There is not alcohol in the drinks at any of the three pool bars. I’m happy we didn’t get the drink package because the drinks overall just weren’t worth what they were charging. The seating: We HATED the table situation on Horizon. In the MDR, Jiji for lunch and Cucina for lunch, the tables are inches apart. You’re not technically sitting with strangers, but you are absolutely sitting with strangers. It’s hard to explain the awkward energy that hangs in the air when a couple is laughing mid-conversation and goes completely silent when they see you being seated with them even though there are tons of open tables that are more private. We stopped going to brunch/breakfast in the MDR because the experience is too uncomfortable to brave before coffee. I have trauma regarding this due to an unfortunate experience on the Monarch of the Seas (RIP) in 2009 where a couple stared at us uncomfortably for the entirety of dinner. Do all Carnival ships have this co-eating situation going on? The vibe: Off. Hostile. At Bingo, a woman called a false bingo. As she was taking the embarrassing walk of shame back to her chair, the crowd began booing. These weren’t light-hearted boos. This was like Ted Cruz at a baseball game in New York level of booing. When somebody won, the theater would fill with “F$CK!!!!!!” and the sound of silence as nobody clapped. Bingo was tense, y’all. I heard these same expletives at the pier runners in Cozumel. People were just angry. The Sky Ride: Amazing. It only ran once, while we were docked in Cozumel, so we rushed to ride it. Do so if you get the chance. I hate heights and didn’t find it scary in the least. After Dark: The hot tubs on Serenity were closed after dark. Night time is the only time I want to be submerged in hot water. Dumb. The comedy theater kept the same weird vibe as the rest of the ship. The comedian realized it was a tough crowd, nixed the sex jokes and had to resort to cat jokes. Deck 5: The “lanai” deck outside was an amazing place to lie down on a comfy bed and look at the sky at night. Great concept. We often felt like we had this deck to ourselves and it was blissfully quiet. The Shower: It didn’t drain. We told our stewardess, but it still didn’t drain. We got in the habit of stopping the water midshower so we could scoop the water into the drain behind the toilet. Afternoon Tea: This was delightful. The crew was actually very nice to us and the little cakes and pastries were delicious. It actually felt refined and unrushed. Light jazz played and I felt so relaxed. It was so poorly attended that I need you to start going so they don’t get rid of it. The Crew: Mixed. Some were nice. Many were surly. It felt more like a Busch Gardens experience than a Disney one. Debarkation: The night before, our cruise director excitedly told us we’d be arriving at the new Celebration terminal. We groaned, knowing this meant we’d have to haul suitcases for a half mile to get to our parking garage. Getting off the ship was fine, but the terminal was a nightmare. Pure chaos. There were two lines and nobody telling us which one to get in. Finally, I asked. The long, LONG line was people without passports. The shorter, faster line was for people with passports. Thank god I asked. We went to the passport line, smiled at a facial recognition machine, and walked out while leaving the birth certificate passengers behind to rot. Rumor has it that they’re still standing there. Overall impression: Horizon was alright. We were never bored, but we were often hot. Uncomfortably, terribly hot. I enjoyed this class of ship and would consider Vista, but likely won’t seek out Horizon again. We’re definitely not going bigger than Horizon if we can help it. Felt less like a boat and more like a mall at many times.

I would do it at a discount, but the total price for us was $720, or $360 per person. That’s 25 drinks I’d have to consume in six days just to break even. We have three ports where we’ll be off the boat from morning until late noon. The math isn’t mathing.

My partner doesn’t drink. Cheers requires both of us to participate. I’m not somebody who has mimosas with breakfast or needs a cocktail with lunch. I definitely should not buy Cheers.

I’m not buying Cheers. Will an automatic gratuity be added to the price of the drink, or do I add a tip to the slip?

Our check in time is 12:30-1 for this reason. We’re carrying soda and wine on and I have back issues. We figure by the time we park, get through security and get onboard, our cabin will be ready. Making it to lunch by 2:30 on the first day isn’t a huge priority.

Has anybody found a Bushwacker onboard?

Thanks for the tip! I wouldn’t even think to look at a buffet for peanut butter and jelly. Seems too basic, but god is it comforting.

I wouldn’t even begin to know how to eat that, but I’ll give it a try.

Thanks, guys! Will make reservations for Cucina and Jiji, skip the steakhouse and teppanyaki and possibly save sushi for a night where the MDR menu doesn’t look great (and having looked at the menus, so far it looks like many nights).

We’re going on Horizon in December and I didn’t even know about the teppanyaki. The amount of food choices is insane!

Thanks! For the price, we’ll probably be doing this and Jiji. The others don’t seem to have a great price point so we’re a bit iffy.