Maligator

I'm reminded of the scene in "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" wherein Big Dan Teague, the Bible salesman, draws Ulysses Everett McGill and Delmar to the boonies with his seductive, jocular monologue. Well done, sir. Even for a Canadian.

I had to look up what a lens changer was. Unless I'm mistaken, those were important for film cameras. The only benefit I'd see with modern rigs is limiting exposure to dust. I think if you change lenses fast enough, that's not an issue on a ship.

When I wander, I throw the 8-15mm fisheye in my cargo pocket and shoot the rest with a do-it-all lens, the 28-300mm.

We only book Concierge for the aft cabin locations. I can't say we've ever used the actual concierge; I don't even know what they do. The sparkling wine is wasted on us, as are the afternoon finger foods. As for priority check-in, it seems to depend on the port. In Miami, Concierge was lumped in with Aqua and Elite/Elite Plus. Only Suites and Zenith had any kind of actual expedited boarding.

Occasionally, the concierge comes through with a helipad sail-away party. On Connie, it was Venice, which was superb. That's the only one where that happened for us. Either she was exceptional or such things are just rare, in general. We were invited to one out of St Maarten on Eclipse, but only because I asked the CD. Even then, it was nothing to do with Concierge Class, as it was a Suites event we managed an invitation to, thanks to the aforementioned CD.

The Renaissance has a casino and is within sight of the ship. Across the street is the Seaport Casino. I can vouch for neither.

I've run into a couple of I-Wayans. The one with the cool glasses?

CON074 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Of note, he explained to us that "I-Wayan" basically means "first-born son" and is given to all first-born sons in his region around Bali.

A correction to my post. It's 12 that's covered. Deck 11 has the fraction of a meter "cover."

Probably posting from the bathroom

Not quite sure I agree. On deck 11 they are totally covered (hope you don't like the sun!).

On other decks they are partially covered and offers enough privacy from other decks if you want that. They are really light and airy and real suntraps (if you like the sun!).

 

 

 

Cheers

 

Gerry

Re: Deck 11 being covered, that's what I wrote. And the remainder are "partially covered" by less than half a meter of overhang. That hardly counts.

Probably posting from the bathroom

There are 2 cabins on Decks 6 - 11 at the aft of the S class ships that have larger balconies. They are located in the center and are not suites. The cabins themselves are the normal size but because of a crew storage area the balconies are larger.

We were in 1667, which was a S2 and had a 50% wider veranda, but no deeper. That's it on the S-class and I wouldn't classify it as "extra large."

Thoughts? On deck 9. Extra large balcony at least. ...

"Extra large balcony?" Not on S-class. Only Sky Suite cabins have larger verandas. Do not expect M-class aft verandas. They're also not covered on any deck, except 11.

Noisy? Movement? Crew space? !

No noise. Movement was only noticeable in rough seas. Crew areas are limited to small utility closets.

Learn from my FAIL. (November 2013)

The drive to the helicopter facility was about 10 minutes and upon our arrival, a scale waited for us in the lobby for a last-minute weigh-in. The weight limit was 215 lbs (I think) and my pre-cruise weight was a little north of that, but it’s just an estimate, right? Wrong. Learn from my failure, dear readers. I was called back to the lobby as the others went through the safety video and was told my combined weight (including my photo gear) was significantly off and I couldn’t go. My heart sank and I had to break the news to my wife, who was in tears. This was the one excursion we truly looked forward to. After some discussion, the staff told us they had an open flight later in the afternoon, but we’d have to buy a second seat for the extra 40 lbs of my butt and camera gear.

Great review...we're cruising this in March and enjoyed your take on ports/dining especially. You sound like fun and wasting your talent with the K9's...LOL. I would never have totally read any review that long before but you kept me intrigued as to what would come next with your particular 'slant'..... terrific writing...English major?

Nope. Just a fan. :)

Probably posting from the bathroom

I throw my 8-15mm in my cargo shorts pocket and leave the 28-300mm on my camera, hanging around my neck. I got tired of lugging a bag everywhere.

Were I to need a bag, I'd look at the ones mentioned above, plus Crumpler's offerings. Theirs tend to be less identifiable as camera bags, which might make you less of a target for theft. *Might*

They're almost identical. Eclipse has the Corning Museum of Glass Hot Glass Show on the Lawn Club, whereas Silhouette has the Lawn Club Grill in the same location.

Other than that, I'd say the only other consideration would be the itinerary.

Please forgive my binge-posting. It's hard to pick just a few favorites.

Saguenay Fjord

SAG040 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

l'Île-d'Orléans on the St Lawrence, departing Quebec City

QUE145 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Quebec City's Old Town at night

QUE100 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Entering Charlottetown, PEI

PEI006 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Lepreau Falls, New Brunswick

STJ005 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

We (18 of us) were on the same sailing and enjoyed it as well, well most of it.

We never caught the solo guy (Dallas something?) and what we heard of the duo was instantly recognized as not our thing. The house band (Sea Monkeys, I think) were OK, though I did hear many of the same songs over and over. I was impressed with their "light" cover of Enter Sandman. As we went up in the elevator, I caught the drummer's eye and threw horns \m/. :D I think Celebrity should try to make their musical acts more like a cruise ship's and less like a pretentious coffee house's.

Oh, and the remarks about the bartenders were spot-on. I've never seen such a bunch of emotionless machines behind the bar. The exception for us was the crew in the buffet bar.

Indeed, the last-minute port switch was a massive pain. As I wrote, our excursions were through X, so the impact was not what it could have been. I know there were more than a few passengers with private arrangements who were out their deposits.

Really, how hard is it to count ships and compare to the number of berths? I have at least two pages bookmarked with port schedules that were a year, or more, old. It boggles the mind.

I, for one, HAVE been waiting on pins and needles for this review!

I knew it! Sorry to prolong the suffering.

You (inadvertently) changed my mostly negative, sweeping views on Texas and Texans, too.

We're not all what it looks like on the news. Though I confess to half my family being from Licking County, so maybe it was the Ohioan coming out. :D

Jersey City, Manhattan, and Brooklyn in an 8-shot pano

NYCpano1 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Production show on Summit. I always loved how this one came out.

SUM025 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia

HAL013 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Saguenay, Quebec

SAG023 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

SAG029 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Silvestri Craters, Mt Etna, Sicily

CAT015 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Marsaxlokk, Malta

VAL018 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Departing Kotor, Montenegro

KOT046 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Carabinieri motorcycle cops, Ponte Vecchio, Firenze (Florence)

FLO012 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Venezia

VEN092 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

VEN016 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Likely my favorite from 2016: Willemstad waterfront at night

CUR018wm by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Cockleshell Beach, St Kitts. An accidental Fibonacci spiral.

STK002 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Slave huts, Bonaire

BON014 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

BON017 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Salt piles, Bonaire

BON019 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Curacao

CUR004 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

I know everyone has been on pins and needles, waiting on my review, so I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. As you read, keep in mind my comments are meant to inform and entertain, not to offend. Some background on us: We’re DINKs (double-income, no kids) in our early 40’s. I’m a police K9 handler and she’s an environmental geologist and consultant.

On-board Constellation in the Adriatic last year, my wife and I were kidnapped by Future Cruises staff and were forced to book our 2016 sailing. As always, we try to sail over Thanksgiving (the US one, not the Canadian one) to take advantage of the two extra days off from work we get. And like we do every time, we tried to make this a “cheap” year by taking a less-expensive cruise. So we booked a ten-night Caribbean on Equinox to save money for some house projects. If your detective skills had you saying, “But wait…the title says you were on Eclipse!” then you win the prize. Not long after arriving home my wife was already thinking we’d need more than ten nights. A couple of phone calls later, we were booked on Eclipse for four extra nights.

This itinerary was almost identical to our 2013 sailing (also on Eclipse). The differences were that we’d depart Miami instead of Port Everglades, add Bonaire, St Kitts and an overnight in Aruba, and subtract St Thomas, Antigua, and Grenada. We enjoyed Antigua, but weren’t impressed with Grenada or St Thomas, so that wasn’t too much of a hardship. Plus, we’d get to see Bonaire and St Kitts, which we’d never visited.

Our favorite cabins on the ship are the aft-facing rooms and we booked a C1 Concierge cabin, #1670 on Deck 11. Having been in #1667 (S2) in 2003, we knew what we’d be getting, as far as what the location would give us for a view.

Day 1 – IAH to MIA and Embarkation

Sunday 11/13

WX: 60F/cloudy (in Houston), 75F/partly cloudy (in Miami)

With: Norwegian Getaway, Carnival Splendor, Adonia, Norwegian Pearl

In a self-inflicted hardship, we were up at 4:15am to start our day. The cab I’d booked was ten minutes late, which would have been OK, but not only was he slow, he was also directionally-challenged. Even his GPS couldn’t help him. I’m convinced we’d still be driving to the airport if I’d not stepped in and given him directions. Compounding our misery, TXDOT threw us a surprise going away party on the only freeway between our house and the airport and closed the most important interchange for no apparent reason. I sincerely hope their next bowel movement is square. Despite the buffoonery, we eventually got to the airport and check-in at Terminal E for our direct flight was smooth and uneventful.

Once again, TSA Pre-Check was mixed in with the unwashed, saving us only the seconds it would have taken us to take off shoes and belts. One of these trips, getting Pre-Check and Global Entry will save us some time. I just know it. But this was not to be that trip.

Our flight was uneventful, except United somehow managed to get only 2/3 of our bags on our flight, leaving one – the one with all of our toiletries and some other necessities – in Houston.

We, along with 66% of our luggage, were on the next port shuttle, booked through Celebrity. The trip to the port was about fifteen minutes and the place was jam-packed with all manners of buses, taxis, personal vehicles, stagecoaches, and whatnot. The line for check-in was out the door and into the driveway. After a few minutes of hallways, escalators, a corn maze, a connection in ATL, a desert caravan, and a nap, we entered the man check-in hall. Despite one rep’s suggestion that we join the queue for Steerage Class (because there were more windows for them), we stuck with the Concierge Class line. The only other line I saw was for Suites and Zenith and it was almost empty. I think the total time from bus to counter was about 20 minutes, which wasn’t as bad as I made it sound.

We had our fingers crossed for the Upgrade Fairy, but it was not to be on this sailing. Our check-in rep had her manager come over to get our information for when or if United ever materialized with our missing suitcase. On the ship, our first stop was the Guest Relations desk, where Event Coordinator Vera also took our information for the missing bag.

We tried to salvage a good time out of the situation over the Concierge Class lunch in the MDR. We both had what I think was strip steak and French fries. A little after 1pm, the announcement was made that our cabins were ready. We made our way up to our room, which was at the T-intersection of the starboard-side hallway and the aft hallway. As expected, the room was in perfect order. My wife was initially disappointed by the size of the room and I reminded her that we haven’t been in a standard-size room since Millennium in 2010. We were in a wheelchair-accessible C1 on Constellation, a Family Veranda on Summit, a S2 on Eclipse, and a Royal Suite on Equinox. I guess she thought the C1 was bigger.

Cabin 1670 has the bed closer to the glass door with a bench sofa between the bed and the bathroom. The Concierge bathroom is pretty nice, with updated fixtures and a shower enclosure that looks like a phone booth with a drain in the floor. A bottle of sparkling white wine was on ice and took the next 14 days to assume room temperature, as we don’t drink wine.

Later, as the emergency drill in Tuscan Grill was concluding, I noticed we were underway. After booking three specialty dinners (2 Tuscan, 1 Qsine), we scooted back up to the room for sail-away and discovered our wayward suitcase had been delivered. Halleluja! Except for Fathom’s Adonia, we were the last ship in the conga line out of Miami. We passed all the locations my wife recognized from her CSI:Miami episodes, which she thought was pretty cool.

Soon enough, it was time for our 6pm seating in the MDR. It’s always a fight for me to eat in the MDR, because my wife thinks it’s a hassle, preferring the casual atmosphere of Oceanview Café. We were assigned Table 603 – a 2-top on the lower deck, close to the wine rack. We were greeted by our waiter, Sherwin, and his assistant, Ade, and by Juan, who would have been our sommelier if we’d needed his services. Sherwin (from Philippines) quickly became one of the best, if not *THE* best, waiter we’ve had in six sailings. I could tell his service was polished beyond the typical excellent service from MDR staff. He told us he’d just come on from Solstice, where he was a waiter in Tuscan.

That night, the wife had her favorite Cesar salad and the spinach & ricotta ravioli, with her favorite chocolate cheesecake for dessert. I had my favorites of escargot and French onion soup, with a pork chop, and crème brulee for dessert.

After dinner, we bar-hopped, trying to find a bartender to latch onto for the cruise. We never did find one we connected with as we did with I Wayan on Constellation.

Exhausted from the day’s travels, it was off to bed.

Day 2 – At sea

Monday 11/14

WX: 80F/cloudy to partly cloudy

With: Unknown Norwegian (Pearl?) and Unknown Carnival (Splendor?)

We awoke around 10am and had a late breakfast at Oceanview. We then went up to the Lawn Club for the first of many Hot Glass shows. The artists on this sailing were Taryn, Kim, and Jeremy. We’re Hot Glass stalkers (my wife more than I) and could probably narrate a good portion of the presentations at this point. From up there, I could see we were flanked by a couple of other southbound ships. I could never tell which ones they were, but on one I could make out the distinctive whale tail of Carnival and some kind of hull decoration on the other that looked like a Norwegian.

The remainder of the afternoon was spent by the pool, reading and swimming. For the third cruise in a row, I noted the canned music playlist had a glitch that repeated most of the songs two or three times before moving on to the next track. I guess the guy in charge of Celebrity’s website also does their music program.

The wife won the dinner venue choice and I had unremarkable Indian and Sri Lankan fare in Oceanview. Afterward, we wandered the ship before going to bed early.

Day 3 – At sea

Tuesday 11/15

WX: 80F/partly cloudy to cloudy with occasional rain showers

With: the Unknown Norwegian and Unknown Carnival

We were up at a more reasonable 8:30am and encountered the horde in Oceanview. After breakfast, we attended the galley tour, which we’ve done to death (my opinion, not hers). As usual, we were led through a small portion of the galley by a chef who’d rather be doing chef things than leading ducklings through his kitchen. The portion we toured wasn’t very busy. It was desserts and bread mostly, plus the area where special diet dishes were prepared away from allergenic ingredients. I swear these tours get shorter every time. Having learned nothing new and having seen nothing of interest, we headed up to the Hot Glass Show.

Lunch was in Oceanview, where we sat with a friendly Canadian couple (is there any other kind of Canadian?). Afterward, we flopped on the Lawn Club grass and listened to the Hot Glass Show. This was our third Solstice-class cruise and the first time I actually laid on the grass. I found it one level softer than if I’d been laying on the steel itself.

Dinner was at Tuscan – a favorite of ours. We were a little disappointed in the changes to the menu. My favorite crème brulee was replaced with a pistachio version that was good, but not like it used to be. Our waitress brought us the antipasti plate as a courtesy. I don’t know why they were doing this, but it looked like all the tables were getting it. Maybe the meat was about to go out of date. It tasted fine. We just didn’t want it. The missus had a crab cake, rigatoni carbonara, and strawberry shortcake. I had calamari, the filet mignon, and new crème brulee. We wound up swapping desserts. My filet was cut-with-a-fork tender.

Stuffed like ticks, we waddled back to the room for the evening. You might have noticed I haven’t written about our evening activities. It’s not that we’re sticks in the mud. But the evening shows were almost all guest acts. I’ll get to the ones we caught later, but nothing on the schedule grabbed our interest.

Day 4 – Willemstad, Curacao

Wednesday 11/16

WX: 85F/mostly sunny

With: none

We were up at 7:30am and done with breakfast by 8:15am. Having been thoroughly disappointed with the Celebrity excursion in 2013, I did some research months ago and booked a local guide named Andy. We walked around the port area some (it’s one of the better ports for shopping right off the pier) until 9:30am, when Andy arrived.

Andy drove to an old fort on Caracas Bay. It was deserted and I was in heaven. There were no hordes of tour buses. We had the place to ourselves. Granted, this wouldn’t be a major draw, but it’s something we didn’t see last time. Down the road a little farther was the Quarantine House, where sick arrivals used to be housed until they either got better or died. It’s not an official tourist stop, being a ramshackle structure, falling apart in places. But again, it’s not on the Celebrity tours.

After driving through some of the higher-end neighborhoods on the east end, Andy drove us along the north side of the island to a national park. The park has a blowhole that shamed the one we’d visited in 2013. Before departing the park, we stopped at the snack stand, where I tasted iguana soup. If you’ve never partaken, iguana is like a nugget of dark meat chicken with a bunch of tiny bones. I did not enjoy it enough to ask for the recipe, but I can now say I’ve had iguana.

Andy took us around the west end of the island, where he grew up. We visited a beach where sea turtles congregate to feast on the fish parts tossed out by fishermen. We didn’t see any turtles on this occasion. The pier was being rebuilt, having been damaged by Hurricane Matthew a few months earlier.

Down the road a bit, we stopped at an outdoor restaurant, Rancho El Sobrino, for lunch. I had a quesadilla and my wife had a plate of fried polenta.

After a stop by another beach, we arrived at a lagoon, where a couple dozen flamingos were feeding in the shallow water. Leaving there, he brought us back to the pier. We dumped our belongings back on the ship and headed out into Willemstad to browse shops until dinner time.

After a light dinner in Oceanview (we were too tired to eat in the dining room), I took some long-exposure landscape shots of Willemstad’s famous waterfront from the upper decks of the ship. The Eclipse left around 11pm, by which time we were already in bed.

Day 5 – Kralendijk, Bonaire

Thursday, 11/17

WX: 85F/Partly cloudy with occasional showers

With: none

I don’t recall if it was my choice to do so or that of my wife, but we were up at 7am and beat most of the morning horde in Oceanview. The excursions muster in the theater was well-organized. Today’s excursion had us piled in the back of an old Range Rover with a pair of fellow Texans and a younger couple from Austria. If you’ve never been to Bonaire, there’s not much to the port, as far as shops and things you’d usually expect at a cruise port. Hell, Kralendijk is pretty sparse. Within minutes, we were out of the “urban” area and were rolling through low desert scrub and dusty earth. Like Aruba and Curacao, Bonaire is arid. I describe it as “Arizona with a beach.” Our guide told us to look out for wild donkeys and he wasn’t exaggerating. Scattered along the route were skittish donkeys, of which we were told, there are around 2000.

Look at a map of Bonaire and perhaps one of the most significant geographic features is a large bay on the southeast side of the island. The road we bounced along petered out at the north side of Lac Bay. There was a bar/restaurant and some kayak rental huts and crystal-clear, turquoise water as far as the eye can see. I kicked myself for not bringing swim trunks and snorkel gear, though our time at this stop was not really long enough for that. I gathered some beach sand that had flecks of pink from the coral and the guide pointed out a couple of turtles. Back in our chariot, we were back out on the dusty road, skirting along the west side of the bay, past vacation rentals and small hotels that seemed to cater to divers. On the south side of Lac Bay, we stopped at Sorobon Beach Resort. The resort was more of a beach bar with a long strip of white sand beach and the same clear, shallow water we’d seen from the other side. We spent about 30 minutes there, which would have been enough time for some snorkeling had I been equipped.

From there, we rode along the only road along the south end of the island, past salt lagoons owned by Cargill. We’d stop every so often to look at flamingoes and popular dive spots. Along that south road are the slave huts. These tiny stucco shacks dated back to the 1800’s and were used in the slave trade. I estimate they’re about six feet tall and maybe 6’x7’. The guide said up to seven slaves would be housed in each one, which seems unimaginable. These things are little more than doghouses. Accompanying the two sets of huts we saw were tall pyramidal obelisks we were told acted as markers for incoming ships to identify where they needed to go to offload slaves. Farther on was another significant geographical feature – albeit a man-made one. Cargill’s mountain range of stark white salt dominated the horizon. We paused along the road long enough to take some photos, but entering the property is forbidden. There wasn’t much to see, other than the giant piles of salt.

On the way back into town, we cut through an up-and-coming resort area just south of the port. It was this area where the old Land Rover’s brakes decided to stop working and the guide had to quickly switch to using the manual transmission to keep from colliding with other cars.

As I mentioned, there isn’t much to the port area, as far as shopping goes. None of the ubiquitous port stores were present; just a handful of mom & pop stores selling jewelry and tourist t-shirts. Back on the ship, we lounged by the pool until sail-away. Someone on the island had a drone that chased us out to sea. Upon our return home, I found his video on YouTube, on which you can see myself and the wife on our veranda.

Dinner was in the MDR. She had French onion soup, spinach & gorgonzola pasta, chocolate cheesecake and an unrequested (but not refused) strawberry cheesecake. I had escargot, beef consommé, Australian sea bass, and bananas foster.

Afterward, we browsed the shops and Future Cruises literature, then caught the late hot glass show before heading to bed.

Day 6 – Oranjestad, Aruba

Friday, 11/18

WX: 85F/partly cloudy and humid

With: Freewinds

Having been almost totally disappointed in Aruba in 2013, we chose to sleep-in and take it easy. It was intensely humid and just wandering into the area around the port had me drenched in sweat. Add to it my back was killing me, so after ordering bamboo sheets at Cariloha, we spent the remainder of the day by the pool. Around 5:30p, we gathered on the pier for the one activity we did enjoy three years prior – a sunset catamaran sail. There were about 100 of us, which they split between two boats. I thought it would be too crowded, but once we were underway and folks spread out, it was just fine. A freak tropical storm off Costa Rica cast clouds over much of the sky, so the sunset wasn’t too spectacular. We found a couple from Baltimore and chatted with them and took in a distant lightning storm to our south, over Venezuela.

The only other thing of note on the evening sail was the aft-facing lights were on. I didn’t know these things existed, having never seen them before. But across the stern and below Tuscan Grille are a row of obnoxiously bright LED floodlights. We saw them on a couple of times after, while we were underway. They seem to serve no other purpose, other than illuminating the wake for the benefit of Tuscan diners. I always thought the wall of windows was a bit of a waste, since any views after 5pm were too dark to appreciate.

At some point on this day, someone either on the ship or back at the home office counted on their fingers and toes and determined there were too many ships scheduled in St Lucia, which was four days away on our itinerary. Their solution was to flip-flop St Lucia with Barbados. I’m glad we didn’t have a private tour arranged. It was bad enough with the ship excursions getting rearranged. Our two Barbados excursions (a sunset sail and something else I can’t remember) flat-out canceled and we didn’t feel like re-booking anything. Also affected were our St Lucia and St Kitts excursions. The former moved from an afternoon coastal sail to a morning time, thereby screwing me out of the preferable afternoon angle of the sun. The latter just pushed the same tour back a couple of hours.

Since we’d missed our dinner time with the sunset sail, we grabbed a bite in Oceanview. That evening, we attended the production show “Chandelier,” which was about an eccentric hotel with a large chandelier that eats people it deems unworthy. I likened it to “Little Shop of Horrors” in the “Exotic Marigold Hotel.” That is to say I liked it.

Day 7 – Oranjestad, Aruba

Saturday, 11/19

WX: 90F/partly cloudy and humid

With: Freewinds

This was the second day in Aruba, much to our dismay. With no plans that involved being off the ship, we wandered around on board, visited the shops and Future Cruises office like we always end up doing. Our next stop was the iLounge to research. This cruise was our first experience with the new Xcelerate internet and it is miles better than the previous system. The remainder of the day was spent grazing in the buffet or lounging on the Lawn Club grass. We did sail-away from there before getting ready for dinner in the MDR.

She had her French onion soup, Ceasar, NY strip and chocolate cheesecake. I had the French onion, escargot, chicken Kiev, and a fantastic éclair. The chicken left much to be desired.

The evening show was comedienne and singer, Jayne Curry, whom we thought was a riot.

Day 8 – At sea

Sunday, 11/20

WX: 80/cloudy

With: n/a

After a reasonable wake-up time and breakfast, we took advantage of the sea day by lounging at the pool and taking in more Hot Glass Shows. After the uneventful – but still restful – day of doing very little, we had our dinner reservation at Qsine. She had Lava Crab and the meatballs, while I had the lobster escargot, Painter’s Mignon, and Chinese-tinis. We split a chocolate tombstone dessert. Everything was great, though I’d have skipped the Chinese-tinis in hindsight. Our table for two was inches from the adjacent one, so we might as well have been seated with our neighbors, Patti and Dom, from California. We hit it off and had a very pleasant conversation with them for over an hour.

Day 9 – St Lucia

Monday, 11/21

WX: 80/partly cloudy with showers

With: Viking Star and AIDAdiva

We awoke as Eclipse was pulling up to the commercial berth on the south side of Castries harbor. Since we were the last-minute addition to the day’s ships, Viking Star and AIDAdiva got the preferred berths at the dedicated cruise pier. It was of no real consequence to us, since our excursion was a sailing tour down the west side of the island and it was to pick us up right off the pier.

Our 2013 excursion was a land tour to the “drive-through volcano” at Soufriere, which as OK, if you didn’t take the tour description as literal. Without going into too much detail, it was a bubbling mud pit that reeked of sulfur. So this time, I opted for a sailing tour that would hopefully get us some nice, unobstructed views of the Pitons. Our tour boat was a motorized catamaran with a large covered deck and space at the front and back to sit in the sun. The day had already proven it would be off-and-on showers, occasionally sending passengers scrambling for cover. We set up shop along the starboard side next to a couple from the DFW Metroplex. Leave it to us to find the fellow Texans. It was the standard Caribbean tour boat: local crew doing their best to motivate the reluctant passengers to loosen up and party, the reluctant passengers just sitting there, and loud Caribbean music. The bar soon opened and the steady application of adult libations eventually loosened up the passengers enough that a few started dancing and mingling.

About half an hour after departure, we pulled into a little bay with a beach called Anse Cochon (literally “Beach of Pigs”; where else would you take American tourists?). We pulled up within a few yards of the beach and dropped anchor. A fleet of locals in kayaks sidled up to us, trying to sell trinkets and coconut water. Those who wished to swim could do so and I took advantage. I collected some sand for our collection and enjoyed the feeling of being in the ocean rather than at work. Something brushed against my forearm and I felt a little burning sensation. I didn’t see anything and blew it off, as the pain was minor. Soon, others were complaining of similar symptoms and I got zapped again. That time, I saw the culprit: a chicken egg-size jellyfish floating just below the surface. It was time to get back on the boat anyway, so I left our jellyfish friends behind.

We sailed on to Soufriere and had the unobstructed views of the Pitons I was after, though not the good afternoon light. On the way back north, the captain pulled into Marigot Bay for a quick look, then proceeded back to port. After purchasing a few t-shirts, we got back on the ship, where the missus went to the pool and I stayed in the room for a nap.

The early sunset made for some nice “blue hour” photos of the other ships before it was time for dinner in the MDR. She had the French onion, crab cake, chicken saltimbocca, chocolate cheesecake, and a second unsolicited cheesecake, but with strawberry sauce. I had escargot, Ceasar, chicken saltimbocca, and their magnificent apple tart tatin.

Jayne Curry had an encore performance on this evening. She was just as funny and had fresh material, just the same.

On the way to the Hot Glass Show, we caught the much-hyped “Reigning Rocks” show, featuring the ship’s singers and dancers performing to British music in the Grand Foyer. Every foot of rail space along the upper decks overlooking the foyer was taken. I thought it was mediocre, at best.

We ended the day watching the Houston Texans equally-mediocre performance against the Oakland Raiders.

Day 10 – Barbados

Tuesday, 11/22

WX: 90/partly cloudy with showers

With: Mein Schiff 5, Norwegian Gem, Club Med 2, Star Breeze

As I mentioned earlier, Celebrity jacked with the schedule, which cancelled our booked excursions. We opted to do Barbados on our own, since Celebrity didn’t make an effort to rectify their bungle.

All berths were full on this day to the point Star Breeze had to loiter offshore until something opened up. We were tied up at what must usually be a cargo berth, far from the cruise facility, so they were running a stream of buses. I didn’t know this, but in Barbados their national pastime must be shuttle bus packing. Those things would not move until we looked like a third-world train. I’m sure they thought it was necessary, but they’re wrong.

We found a large board outside the cruise terminal with a list of taxi tours with prices and decided on one that went around the southern end of the island. If anyone reading this is researching for their own trip, know that you can pick whatever you want, but you’ll end up in a van with a bunch of other people on the driver’s own interpretation of the tour you wanted for US$25/each. You don’t know this until it’s too late to go back. There were eight of us from a couple of different ships in the van and we had to accept a compromise that we’d go to some of the places they wanted. That being said, the tour wasn’t bad. I’d have preferred having a taxi to ourselves, but that’s not how they do things unless you’re willing to pay more. Our driver drove us along the coast and stopped at Browne’s Beach, as well as Accra Beach. We didn’t stay long. Mostly long enough for us to scoop some sand and take a few photos. One stop that ended up being more interesting than I anticipated was the Four Square Rum Distillery. Celebrity had a rum tour, too, but for Mount Gay and I hear it was not an actual visit to the distillery; it was more a visitor center where tourists watch videos. At Four Square, the place was all but deserted of tourists and we had the place to ourselves. We also had run of the place with very few restrictions I could see on where we could or could not go. That tour ended with a tasting and an explanation from the barkeep about the different classifications of rum.

We stopped at St John’s Parish Church, too. It was a great old church, high on a hilltop and had a fantastic view of the southeast coast. From there, it was back to the port.

The rain was just beginning to fall as we boarded our sardine can for the short ride down to the ship. A few of us were rather ripe and even though it was raining, the windows were all open wide for ventilation.

Dinner was in the MDR. My bride had her usual. I had the escargot, strawberry soup (one of my favorites), crab-crusted flounder, and crepe Suzette.

The evening show was a comedy magician. I don’t recall his name, but he was pretty funny.

On the way to the Hot Glass Show, we stopped and did an open booking for an as-yet-to-be-determined 2018 cruise. More on that later.

Day 11 – St Kitts

Wednesday, 11/23

WX: 80/partly cloudy with showers

With: Royal Princess

Day Three of the bollixed schedule had us arrive in St Kitts a little after 9am. With nothing on our schedule until mid-afternoon, we grabbed a taxi with a few other sun-seekers and headed to Cockleshell Beach at the far southern tip of St Kitts. Once again, foolish me didn’t come prepared to swim and I regretted my decision the entire time I was there. Will I ever learn? The same cabbie took us back to port, where we browsed shops and had lunch on the ship.

Our afternoon tour met just outside the secure area of the port and we boarded small tour buses for the trip to meet the train. Our guide didn’t run out of information to impart to us for the 45 minute trip north, along the coast.

For those who’ve never been on the St Kitts Scenic Railway, it’s a narrow-gauge route that was built in the early 1900’s to carry cane. But since the cane industry ended here, it now spends its days hauling tourists around the perimeter of the island. We were in the fourth of five cars, which were 2-level, with the lower half an enclosed area and the upper half open-air. There was a waitress assigned to each level on each car and ours kept the libations flowing throughout the trip. A guide was in the first car and a trio of local girls moved from car to car, singing hymns and such. The ride was very pleasant and lasted almost two hours. There were a few times when the tracks were maybe a bit rickety and there was more than substantial swaying. At times, the right-of-way was tight and we could have shaken hands with people in their homes.

The same guy who drove us to meet the train picked us up at the station to bring us back to the pier. After a little more shopping, we were back on board for sail away. Royal Princess was across the pier from us and was close enough that we could hear their passengers’ conversations and their Captain’s announcement that they’d be leaving before us. I was wholly unprepared for what happened next. Royal sounded her horn three times like they all do. Eclipse responded with three. Then Royal played the first few notes of the theme from The Love Boat. We were floored. Cheers erupted from both ships and I had the feeling that we’d been seriously outclassed. I heard later that they returned to port shortly after we left due to a medical emergency on-board.

For dinner, we decided to give Sushi on 5 a try. We were among those who were extremely disappointed in the decision to replace Bistro on 5 with a sushi joint. Neither of us cares for sushi and we only learned to love Bistro on Connie in 2015. But looking at the menu for Sushi, I saw there were non-sushi choices that looked OK, so we gave it a try. We both had an order of shrimp & lobster dumplings, which were delicious. We could probably make a meal out of those, alone, though we’d need multiple orders. She had the lobster ramen and I had the shrimp & scallop dynamite. We ended up swapping entrees. Although I managed to choke down the shrimp and scallops from mine, I found the cream dynamite sauce was not to my taste. I can’t accurately describe why I didn’t like it and I can’t say I hated it. It just didn’t appeal. My wife traded with me and she killed it off while I enjoyed the remainder of her ramen. One more note about Sushi on 5. I remember hearing the chief reason behind shuttering Bistro was that no one but officers ever ate there. Well, my observation was that the same amount of passengers were using it as I ever saw in Bistro. As a matter of fact, while we were dining, there were two other couples, plus a table of three senior officers. The numbers may tell a different story, but I’m just going off what I saw with my own eyes.

Later, while wandering the ship, I somehow got suckered into joining a Port vs Starboard “Name That Tune” competition in Celebrity Central. I maybe recognized two or three of the fifteen songs and was little help to Team Starboard.

Day 12 – St Maarten

Thursday, 11/24 (US Thanksgiving)

WX: 85/partly cloudy with showers

With: Silhouette, Equinox, Nieuw Amsterdam, Carnival Vista, Allure OTS

Having been here before and experiencing the queue for taxis when multiple ships are in port, we made sure we were among the first to get off. Turns out, we were the first passengers from our ship to disembark. Only Silhouette was with us at that point, with the others trickling in throughout the day. The lady running the cabs hailed the first one in line. He was obviously not enthused about only taking two people, but that was his problem. It took us about 20 minutes to get to Maho Beach in what qualifies for St Maarten’s rush hour traffic. Being early paid dividends, as we arrived at the Sunset Bar to find the attendant just setting out the lounges and umbrellas and the beach was completely empty. We paid the attendant $20 and settled in. Within an hour, it was crowded and after two hours, it was packed. Air traffic was disappointing. Aside from a Gulfstream and the Insel Air MD-80, the remainder of the incoming traffic was limited to island hopper props. We left around noon to beat the rush back, as Nieuw Amsterdam and Vista were scheduled to depart at 4pm. The return taxi driver packed his van to capacity and was trying to jam another couple in until our protests convinced him to send them elsewhere. In hindsight, I’d have offered to find another cab, because this guy was awful. He knew how to mash the accelerator and stand on the brakes, with nothing in between. Despite his best efforts to kill us, we arrived at the pier in one piece.

We had an invitation on our door to attend a sail away this evening with the Suite guests. I was very impressed that CD Eddy remembered my request from the Cruise Critic Connections event and added us to the list despite our Concierge booking. The weather was perfect and we all looked forward to a beautiful sail away, but we couldn’t get out. Vista was delayed; my wife offered that maybe they couldn’t get it started. Silhouette was in a similar situation, as Nieuw Amsterdam had them blocked in, too. Nieuw Amsterdam sat there, blowing it’s horn for twenty minutes. We passed the additional time chatting with the other guests and making fun of Carnival. We weren’t even on their ship and they somehow found a way to ruin our evening. By the time Vista got a jump-start, it was almost dark, ruining the opportunity for evening photos.

We made it to the MDR in time for dinner. We both had the turkey and dressing offering, which was pretty good. It wasn’t enough to enter a tryptophan coma, but it was nice of them to do it for us. They even had pecan pie as one of the dessert options.

After dinner, we watched part of the Cowboys/Redskins game, then caught the evening show, which was a comedian ventriloquist, Gareth Oliver. He was amazing. And I don’t use that term often, as it’s often overused for incidents that do not amaze. He ended his show with an audience member (a pre-arranged plant?), on whom he placed a device that looked like a CPAP mask, only with a mouth. It had an attachment that he used to operate the mask as though the guy were a human ventriloquist dummy. The guy acted out the comedian’s dialogue and the act had the whole audience rolling with laughter.

Day 13 – At sea

Friday, 11/25

WX: 80/cloudy with showers

With: Carnival Vista, Allure OTS trailing

We slept in as much as we could; partially because we were a couple of days from going back to reality and partially because the seas were a bit rough. Despite the rough seas and rain, we attended our last glass show where they actually made stuff. The bulk of the day was taken up with cramming in as much rest and relaxation as we could, knowing we’d soon be back in the real world.

Dinner was in Tuscan and we had a different server. No complimentary antipasti that night, which reinforced my theory that they were getting rid of old stuff about to expire. The wife had her carbonara again, with crème brulee for dessert. I had the calamari, chicken parmagiana, and spumoni donuts.

We ended the night in the room, watching college football.

Day 14 – At sea

Saturday, 11/26

WX: 80/cloudy

With: Carnival Vista, Allure OTS

We spent much of the morning packing our suitcases, which is always depressing. In between the sunny spots, we could see Vista and Allure trailing on the horizon.

Shortly before lunch, we attended CD Eddy’s “10 Things You Didn’t Know About Ship Life,” which was both informative and pretty funny. Eddy has a dry humor I really enjoyed. His presentation was a behind-the-scenes photo tour, with descriptions and anecdotes about some of the activity passengers never see.

After lunch, we went back to the theater for a matinee Broadway performance that wasn’t anything more than the performers taking turns singing. No costumes. No dancing. No aerials. More of a concert than a production show. I found it underwhelming.

Up next was the auction for hot glass in the Grand Foyer. Some of the pieces went for over $1000, which is too rich for us.

Back in the room, we packed the last of our bags and lounged until it was time for dinner in the MDR for our final service from Sherwin and Ade. On the way down to eat, we stopped Muamad and Ida to thank them for taking such great care of us with a little gratuity.

In the dining room, the wife had her usual. I started with my usual and had the chateaubriand for the main course, as well as the chocolate bombe for dessert. We had Sherwin and Ade come to the table at the end to thank them and pass them a gratuity, as well.

At the World Class Bar (which – on a side note – looked like a bust, looking to be replaced eventually), we attended the Meet The Artists event with the glass artists and other hot glass show groupies. We arranged with Taryn to do a commission piece when she returned from her contract as a memento of our trip.

As we walked around to kill time before the late-night show, I noticed ship lights rather close on the starboard side. It seems we’d caught up with and were passing Silhouette. The horizon was dotted with other cruise ship lights and Vista had just about caught up to us on the port side. Vista looked like Las Vegas compared to Silhouette, that looked more like Des Moines.

Late that evening, we attended “Liar’s Club.” We first saw this show (for lack of a better term) on Summit in 2014 and were sore from laughing. It was done again on Connie in 2015, but with the same words and a lackluster panel. CD Eddy promised he had new words and that he’d be joined by the ventriloquist, Gareth, and his wife, Alice. This show redeemed our faith in the concept and we laughed until we cried.

Day 15 – Miami to Houston

Sunday, 11/27

WX: (in Miami) 85/partly cloudy

With: Vista, Splendor, Disney Magic, Navigator OTS, Norwegian Getaway

We were up at 6am, hoping to beat the rush to breakfast. While the wife finished getting herself together, I enjoyed the sail-in. We’d just been through a thunderstorm – which we didn’t know until we stepped onto the veranda – and the lightning show was spectacular. I took some video and some morning blue hour shots of the other ships as we passed.

After breakfast, we went to the Concierge waiting area in the dining room to wait for our group to be called. We were in Group 1, since we were booked on a Celebrity airport transfer. Any time we were saving with this was wiped away by a clumsy luggage retrieval system, similar to an airport carousel, as well as our coach driver waiting for God-knows-what before he finally got moving. I don’t know that we’d ever do the transfer with Celebrity out of Miami again based on this experience. Not all of our problems were Celebrity’s doing. MIA has a low-clearance that doesn’t allow coach buses to enter the drop-off areas, so he had to drop us at the ends of each terminal. United long ago became MIA’s red-haired stepchild and their counters are about eleven miles from the bus drop-off. After walking through six counties and the outskirts of suburban Houston, we made it to our counters and checked our bags.

Once again, TSA Pre-Check were funneled into the line with the unwashed, though we didn’t have to shed shoes and belts. And like always, the wife’s backpack was flagged for hand-screening due to the jars of sand. After all that effort, it was still an hour until boarding. Ah, the joys of traveling with an over-cautious companion.

Our flight home was unremarkable. I started watching “Hail, Ceasar!” but switched to “SPECTRE” a few minutes in and finished it with minimal fast-forwarding just in time to land.

The cab driver we picked up at the baggage claim was by far the best of the trip and we were waist-deep in happy dogs in no time.

RATINGS

Ship Condition: A

I didn’t see anything glaring that needed attention. Someone was always cleaning or maintaining something.

Officers and Staff: A

Officers were always around. Event Coordinator Vera was magnificent in helping us with our missing bag.

Cruise Director: A+

Eddy was approachable and wrote down our room number when I inquired about a helipad sail away, which resulted in our invitation later in the cruise. I expected to be forgotten. He was genuinely funny and never went “too long” with his speeches. Taking initiative to freshen “Liar’s Club” was a plus.

Cabin Attendants: A

We never found ourselves in need of anything that should have been there. If we needed something special (beach towels, a marker to label sand jars) they were quick to deliver. Fine examples of the polished service that first attracted us to Celebrity.

MDR Food: A

There were a couple of misses for me, but I chalk that up to my personal preference. Nothing was under/over-cooked. The turkey & dressing option on Thanksgiving was appreciated.

MDR Waitstaff: A+

I could tell Sherwin had more than just MDR experience and he confirmed that he was a Tuscan waiter on Solstice. He’d be in Tuscan on Eclipse the following week. Assistant Ade wasn’t very talkative, but he was just fine. Again, they were examples of classic Celebrity service.

Specialty Restaurants: A

Qsine may be losing its original luster, but the food and service were fine. A sommelier even took it as a challenge that I didn’t like wine, finding a white zinfandel that wasn’t awful. Can’t complain about the complimentary antipasti in Tuscan, even if we didn’t eat much of it. Service was polished and the rest of the fare was very good. Sushi on 5 was a surprise for us and we’ll be back in the future. The Gastropub has a variety of beers, yes. But the food is laughable. I couldn’t see trying to eat in that space. Swing and a miss, Celebrity. Pull the plug on Cellar Masters and turn it into a proper pub instead of cramming it into Passport!

Oceanview Café: A

Cleanliness and attentive staff pulled this rating up from an otherwise “B” for variety. Again, it may be my personal taste skewing my opinion, but I think they leaned on Indian/Sri Lankan fare a bit too much. Breakfast was always stocked and delicious.

On-board Activities: B

Other than the Hot Glass Show and Eddy’s “Ten Things” presentations, there wasn’t a lot going on that appealed. Fortunately, we’re fine with reading in a comfortable chair somewhere.

Theater Shows: C

Out of 14 nights, there were only a couple of production shows, with the remainder being guest acts. Maybe some of the budget trimming went too far. I don’t need Cirque du Soleil every night, but I’m certainly not into a steady diet of comedians and magicians, no matter how great they are.

Itinerary: B-

I’d have preferred any other stop for the overnight over Aruba. Bonaire and St Kitts were new stops for us and we really enjoyed them.

Ship Excursions: B

It was the 2013 cruise on a nearly-identical itinerary that made us seriously consider alternate options for excursions. I maintain that private excursions generally give you more bang for the buck. While none were as disappointing as the last time, there was still a rushed feel. We’ll continue to explore private excursions before Celebrity’s.

Embark/Disembark Experience: C

The queue for check-in was abysmal and poorly organized. Suites and Zeniths had their own line that could have eased the burden on the steerage lines if they’d allowed Elites to use it. The maze of halls, stairs, ramps, rope ladders, and fireman poles to get into or out of the terminal…well…whoever thought that up should be kicked squarely in the groin once for every passenger who has to endure it.

Celebrity MIA Airport Transfer: B

The only thing saving it from a lower rating is that it isn’t Celebrity’s fault MIA was designed without considering coach buses. Organization at the terminal on embarkation day was non-existent, leaving our driver to wait for a spot like a Christmas shopper at the mall on Black Friday.

On-board Internet: A+

Finally! Usable internet! No more waiting ten minutes to download a single page! And no smarmy Apple elitist working in the iLounge!

Pool: A

Chair hogs were omnipresent, but manageable. We never had to look long for adjoining chairs. They did run out of pool towels a few times and didn’t replenish for a considerable amount of time. Someone needs to fix the canned music program that repeats songs two or three times in a row.

That’s all til November, 2017! Hope you enjoyed it.

After three years away from S-class, we returned this November and found Tuscan re-vamped their menu. While it wasn't "bad," it certainly wasn't what it once was. Gone were our favorite desserts - hers was the chocolate fondue, mine the creme brulee (which was still there, albeit in a different recipe). The service was still polished and they added the "reverse lights" to illuminate the wake, which were a nice touch.

We found skim, half & half, and whole milk in small insulated pitchers or tall dispensers by the Oceanview beverage stations each night.

Guess you could say we are part of the older generation (Seniors) that actually know how to set our clocks :). In fact, we can even figure out how to manually set our iPhone clocks :).. But we do understand there are many out there who know longer know how to set clocks, use stairs, speak on a cell phone (they only text), etc. Lots of old skills are quickly disappearing :). And just imagine not being "connected" for a few days or weeks. We can do this with a smile and not even have any withdrawal symptoms. We even know how to dine (for hours) at a large table and carry on a conversation...without having to text. Oh my!

 

Hank

Knowing how to do it and remembering to do it are apples and oranges.

I was eager to check out the Gastrobar on Eclipse in November, but what I found was disappointment. Sure, there were a few coolers full of craft brews. And there were two TVs showing a game if one was on. But the ambiance was severely lacking. The bartenders were handling food orders and when we were there, it was busy with people ordering drinks. As a matter of fact, I didn't see anyone with food the half-dozen times we were there. We looked at the menu and the prices and fare sent us upstairs to Oceanview.

Another problem was noise. While I understand a pub environment is inherently noisy, I recall there was some sort of event in the Grand Foyer and the associated noise from that made any conversation around the Gastrobar impossible.

Meanwhile, Cellar Masters was just a dressed up space with no function.