jerseygirl79 Posted September 18, 2009 #1 Share Posted September 18, 2009 DH and I were discussing our 1st anniversary plans for May. We were married on the Miracle this past May and sailed with family. It was his first cruise. In November we're sailing Destiny, again with family including his 5 y/o daughter. I'd would LOVE to cruise on the Pride in May from Baltimore. It's only a 90 min drive, 7 days and 3 ports! He wants to do an all inclusive in Jamaica for 4 nights and $1,000 more :eek:. His reasoning: Jamaica was laid back; he liked being able to lay out on the beach or dine outside and watch the scenery; he enjoyed not running into the same people all day; he felt like we weren't on a schedule. I tried to explain that you set your own schedule on a cruise. But I may be the cause of the problem. Everyday, I get up with Caper in hand and a mission! Also, it's a different experience traveling with family than as a couple. I'm willing to compromise! Hey, we'll get another balcony. There's your scenery! Anytime dining this time! Any other ideas of how to sway him or should we just do the all inclusive in May and book a cruise for later in 2010? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klfrodo Posted September 18, 2009 #2 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Ahhhh marriage. Isn't it wonderful. Hey, life is full of compromises. How far do you take them. Is he a demading arse as a husband? Does he deserve this vacation as much as you? Only YOU can decide these questions. Many people hate this next term , but I love it and use it. I call it the marriage bank. When I make a deposit into the bank ( like wife goes to Las Vegas with the girls), I later get to make a withdrawl ( like a golf trip with my friends) Likewise, if she makes a deposit (taking a land vacation because I want to) later, she can make a withdrawl (like a cruise vacation when I don't want to). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseygirl79 Posted September 18, 2009 Author #3 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Ahhhh marriage. Isn't it wonderful. Hey, life is full of compromises. How far do you take them. Is he a demading arse as a husband? Does he deserve this vacation as much as you? Only YOU can decide these questions. Many people hate this next term , but I love it and use it. I call it the marriage bank. When I make a deposit into the bank ( like wife goes to Las Vegas with the girls), I later get to make a withdrawl ( like a golf trip with my friends) Likewise, if she makes a deposit (taking a land vacation because I want to) later, she can make a withdrawl (like a cruise vacation when I don't want to). hahahaha....Love the bank! We both deserve the vacation and in the end he'd let me decide and go wherever I choose. It is only fair to do what he wants this time around. It's just hard for me to justify the extra money for half the vacation! I love the value of a cruise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klfrodo Posted September 18, 2009 #4 Share Posted September 18, 2009 and I (like him maybe) enjoy the serenity of an AI land vation thrown in once in a while. Mix it up. Have fun with it and ALWAYS remember how blessed you are to be able to have this problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gargoyle999 Posted September 18, 2009 #5 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I have had to agree to land vacations in 2011! :) DW likes to cruise but not as much as me. So in 2011 we are going to Mazatlan in Feb and England/France in Sept. But I already have Feb 2012 reserved for another cruise to the Caribbean! :D She wants to go to Alaska too which I don't since we live in Minnesota and the ground has ice on it 6 months of the year. So as a compromise we will do an Alaska cruise in Aug 2012. Yeah I like to plan ahead... I say let him have his land vacation but look for another cruise later on in the year. Keeps everyone happy in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hazeleyez3 Posted September 18, 2009 #6 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I agree with the others about finding a happy medium. I changed jobs a few years ago and now only have 2 weeks vacation. I want to do a land vacation next year but my husband wants to do 2 cruises. So...we agreed on taking the 2nd cruise (we already have one booked in January) during Thanksgiving week. That way I only have to take 3 days. We are attaching the other 2 to a 3 day weekend, which means we can take a 5 day land vacation and he gets his 2 cruises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lillian marie Posted September 18, 2009 #7 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You'll have a great time on a land or sea based vacation. You could suggest that if you cruise it'd cheaper and you could use the extra $ on some guy stuff that he really wants (ie- flat screened tv, cable sports package or season sports tickets). My daughter sold her husband on a cruise with that idea for her honeymoon. They got a huge flatscreened tv with the difference in cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StillPooh Posted September 18, 2009 #8 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I can't help you, cause I love Jamaica! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klfrodo Posted September 18, 2009 #9 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I also have to speak about Jamaica in particular. If you are basing your concerns about Jamaica because of your bad experience visiting from a cruise excursion,,, throw it out the window. I did a land based vacation in Jamaica a few years back and loved it. The a couple of years later I was excited because one of our cruise stops was Jamaica. :eek: I was horrified by the experience and so was my wife. I knew something wasn't right and wanted to go back but really had to empty out my marriage bank to get my wife to visit for a land vaction. She has now seen the other side of Jamaica. The beauty, the friendlyness of the people, etc,etc. Just research and find the best AI resort for you. I once stayed at a small hole in the wall called Runaway Bay. Lot's of great people, lot's of activity, adults only so tops were optional, great diversity. Great time. Then stayed at Sandals in Ocho. Adults only also, but no tops optional. Very high end with great food but this place was very quiet. No music by the pool. No late night activites. Sandals is geared toward quiet, romantic, one on one time. Great for some, not so much for us. Next door to us was a RUI. That place was jumpin from 10am to 2am. Family oriented though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earthworm Jim Posted September 18, 2009 #10 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I wouldn't push him too hard over it. It sounds like he's already gone along with your wishes twice and gone on cruises, so you sort of owe him one. (Or two, actually) Besides, you wouldn't want him to feel he was being forced into taking a cruise. That might make him resent it even more the next time you want to go on one. On the other hand, if you're lucky after the Jamaica vacation he'll think it was nice, but the cruise is a better deal for next time. Either way, you can't go wrong really. It's not as if a trip to Jamaica is a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseygirl79 Posted September 18, 2009 Author #11 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I also have to speak about Jamaica in particular. If you are basing your concerns about Jamaica because of your bad experience visiting from a cruise excursion,,, throw it out the window. I did a land based vacation in Jamaica a few years back and loved it. The a couple of years later I was excited because one of our cruise stops was Jamaica. :eek: I was horrified by the experience and so was my wife. I knew something wasn't right and wanted to go back but really had to empty out my marriage bank to get my wife to visit for a land vaction. She has now seen the other side of Jamaica. The beauty, the friendlyness of the people, etc,etc. Just research and find the best AI resort for you. I once stayed at a small hole in the wall called Runaway Bay. Lot's of great people, lot's of activity, adults only so tops were optional, great diversity. Great time. Then stayed at Sandals in Ocho. Adults only also, but no tops optional. Very high end with great food but this place was very quiet. No music by the pool. No late night activites. Sandals is geared toward quiet, romantic, one on one time. Great for some, not so much for us. Next door to us was a RUI. That place was jumpin from 10am to 2am. Family oriented though. We went to Sandals OR May 08 and he LOVED it. So the next option is Sandals Whitehouse, which I know he'd love. Like you I feel they were really nice, but a bit to quiet for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerseygirl79 Posted September 18, 2009 Author #12 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I wouldn't push him too hard over it. It sounds like he's already gone along with your wishes twice and gone on cruises, so you sort of owe him one. (Or two, actually) Besides, you wouldn't want him to feel he was being forced into taking a cruise. That might make him resent it even more the next time you want to go on one. On the other hand, if your lucky after the Jamaica vacation he'll think it was nice, but the cruise is a better deal for next time. Either way, you can't go wrong really. It's not as if a trip to Jamaica is a bad thing. Very true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonnie&clydecruzers Posted September 18, 2009 #13 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Well I wouldn't force him to go on a cruise cuz like said before he may resent you. But I would also consider that going on a cruise by yourselves compared with the whole family, will be a different experience. You guys will truly be on YOUR own schedule. Also I'm not sure if you two are the type who are attached by the hip (like me and my fiancee) or if you like to go about your own ways atleast for a little while? If thats the case if you want to go out and do lots of activities, you can while he just sleeps in and then drink by the pool bar. I think that is the great thing about a cruise ship. There is so much different things to do. I do like land vacations but there are way more expensive and times are rough right now. Cruising is a cheaper option when you just need to have a vacation...like I do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocF Posted September 18, 2009 #14 Share Posted September 18, 2009 We have cruised with relatives and alone. We prefer alone as we can do what we want when we want. If you go with relatives, you feel obligated to get involved in mass activities. Yuck. Now if you can go with relatives and each family unit do its own thing.............................. Doc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shipshape7 Posted September 18, 2009 #15 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Here's a compromise nobody has mentioned. How about a cruise to Bermuda out of New York on NCL Dawn or out of Bayonne on Explorer of the Seas? I think Celebrity's Summit might be going next Spring too out of NY. Bermuda can feel like the best of both worlds because you spend 3 days in a row in port so you are able to be totally free of that schedule-minded, rushing around, don't miss the ship thing. The scooters are so much fun and the pink sand beaches are drop-dead-gorgeous. You also get a full sea day sailing there and then another full sea day before you return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eggypann Posted September 18, 2009 #16 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I just don't see why anyone would want to spend $1K more for 4 fewer days - but then that's just MY opinion. Since he wants to have some down beach time - how about offering that every other port (or so) you'll go hang all day at one of the all-inclusives that let cruisers use their facilities for a small fee (some free - as long as you're buying their food and drinks. You can get couples massages, eat, drink and just people-watch - and then get back on the ship at the end of the day (or evening). Then you'll have the best of both worlds. Good luck - whatever you decide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gtalum Posted September 18, 2009 #17 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I just don't see why anyone would want to spend $1K more for 4 fewer days - but then that's just MY opinion. Perceived quality over quantity... Remember too that the all-inclusive covers a lot mroe than cruise fare, so that probably offsets a lot of the difference. We love to cruise but we're taking a 7 day vacation in Costa Rica in February and after everything's figured in it'll cost double what we'd spend on a cruise. A full vacation value proposition is not just days divided by dollars. If it was, we'd all be taking "staycations". ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bplazo Posted September 18, 2009 #18 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I suppose you could be fair and let him have a say on where you go on vacation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bplazo Posted September 18, 2009 #19 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I suppose you could be fair and let him have a say on where you go on vacation. I let my husband choose my last vacation and all though it was better than a day at work, I did not enjoy it as much as cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myacuna Posted September 18, 2009 #20 Share Posted September 18, 2009 So, here's my two cents.... We got married at an All Inclusive in Jamaica in May. We went on our Honeymoon on the Carnival Legend in July-Aug. There are SO many pros and cons to both, that I could be here forever. Overall, with costs and relaxation in mind, the AI was cheaper and WAY more relaxing for us (even with a wedding!!!). Pros of a cruise: Different locations Great variety of food Being out in the middle of nowhere Casino!! Pros of AI: Good food (usually) FREE DRINKS Fresh water pool...ocean a few steps away Opportunity to really check out a location Not having the urge to go go go...becuase you might miss out/miss something. Now, obviously, this is an opinion of mine and my husbands. We are 27 and 29. We travel enough to know what we like and don't like. We were both super excited about the cruise and REALLY liked it a lot. But in terms of costs, we could have done 2 AIs and had money to spare with the cost of one AI and one cruise in this year.... We won't close the door on cruising. We might go if we have a group to go with. But our vaca next year will most likely be an AI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonniemari Posted September 18, 2009 #21 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Did this subject not come up in pre marital counseling? I say not wanting to cruise is grounds for divorce-JUST KIDDING!!!! Its all about compromise. My DH likes to cruise-just not as much as I do. So I take a couple or three cruises a year without him and I go on land vacations with him a couple of times a year He cruises with me a couple of times a year. For instance he wanted to go see a Cardinal-Cubs baseball game and I wanted him to go on a cruise with me in November. So I bought the tickets for the game, made hotel reservations (this Sunday night) and then told him since I was going to suffer through the baseball game I really wanted him to go with me in Nov. since several of our friends are going. Guess who is crusing in Nov. with me-my DH of course. Since you have (or will have) done 2 cruises I say keep the peace and go on the land vacation. We spent 10 days in Jamaica for our honeymoon (many years ago) and I enjoyed every minute of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amethyst08 Posted September 18, 2009 #22 Share Posted September 18, 2009 If all else fails...CRY!!! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hill6 Posted September 19, 2009 #23 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Maybe tell him that you think the ocean is very romantic and that you want to spend time with him out on the water. Crying is also a very good option. Since our first cruise we have only done two other locations for land based vacations - Vegas and Disney. We both feel we would go nuts being stuck somewhere for a number of days. As DH says he cannot lay out on the beach for 4-5 days and do nothing else. He loves cruises. Sitting on the balcony, gambling, art auctions, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy cajun Posted September 19, 2009 #24 Share Posted September 19, 2009 We are not beach people and we quit drinking two weeks ago. so an AI is not on our radar. On a cruise, there is so much more to do than drink an get sand in my shorts. Besides by not having a $1200 bar tab we can take an extra cruise each year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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