How are you treated by staff as a solo female?

[WinnieinWA]

I just answered a thread about tipping in specialty restaurants and I replied about my two opposite experiences which were in the same specialty restaurant on two different occasions, one was Jazz Brunch and the other was dinner in the same restaurant, Le Bistro. One meal for two, same additional price, totally different experiences. Brunch was terrible service and dinner was delightful. That server got an additional $20 bucks........the brunch server got nothing extra.

 

My thought, being female, is that some/most waiters have a preconceived idea that females don't tip as well as men and therefore they don't get the same service as, say a couple or a male. I'm very outgoing and make friends with my waiters and I usually get good service but I'm wondering if any of you females have experienced less than stellar service because of your gender and the wait staffs attitude towards females?????????????

 

Let me qualify that by saying that I usually get very good service from all of NCL staff. I've found most of them o be extremely friendly. That's one of the things I keep coming back for.:) The Butler service rocks also!!!!:D

[ruffs]

Excellent thread, but it's a dissapointment that it should even have to be discussed. Treating people differently because of race, gender, etc., should be but obviously isn't long gone. Hopefully our kids (grandkids?) will have a different experience.

 

It would seem that the best fix would be to train the wait staff properly, then monitor their behavior. I would seriously doubt this is done but would rather be wrong.

[dockrocker]

Unless you observed the server treating other women similarly, I wouldn't come to the conclusion that this is gender bias.

[discjoker]

Unless you observed the server treating other women similarly, I wouldn't come to the conclusion that this is gender bias.

 

I agree. Many cases of alleged gender bias, racism, etc are nothing more than the alleged "victim" jumping to an unfair and incorrect conclusion. You hear quite often of people of certain races claiming they were ignored or received poor treatment at a restaurant for example. Other tables are getting quick service but they are almost getting ignored. They jump to the conclusion that it is somehow racism. I am a white guy and have experienced that very thing. Unfortunately I don't have the race (or gender) card to pull and have to chalk it up to poor service (which in the vast majority of cases is all it is).

[Ontheotherhand]

Some claims of bias may well be based on misunderstandings, but others clearly are not--they are based on the preconceived notions of the person exhibiting it. In the case of gender bias, it does occur--I can think of many times that I was at a business luncheon hosted by a woman (who also ordered the wine and otherwise made it pretty obvious that it was her luncehon) yet the waiter delivered the check to me or another male at the table. Is this out of some hatred of women or a deliberate attempt to embarass her? Probably not, but there is a preconceived notion among many that the man is always the host (in some fancier restaurants this even extends to the waiter asking the man what the woman will have to eat--as if she did not have a voice of her own). These are based on long established patterns of behavior and will not go away soon. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be pointed out when they occur; indeed, that's the only way they will eventully disappear.

 

Much of the bias is quite innocent and is based on ingrained notions, but it's silly to say that it does not exist. And it's also wrong to assume the person experiencing it and voicing a complaint is wrong or overreacting.

[discjoker]

:rolleyes:

 

Much of the bias is quite innocent and is based on ingrained notions, but it's silly to say that it does not exist. And it's also wrong to assume the person experiencing it and voicing a complaint is wrong or overreacting.

 

I agree, but in many (dare I say most) instances the person voicing the complaint is wrong or overreacting. Again, I have experienced some pretty crappy service and have chalked it up to, well, bad service. I have nothing to blame it on other than that.

 

These are based on long established patterns of behavior and will not go away soon. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be pointed out when they occur; indeed, that's the only way they will eventully disappear.

 

I see nothing wrong with the man ordering for his female dinner companion, nor do I see anything wrong in pulling out a chair or opening a door for a lady. There was actually a time when that was considered the polite and considerate thing to do. :rolleyes:

[Ontheotherhand]

I see nothing wrong with the man ordering for his female dinner companion, nor do I see anything wrong in pulling out a chair or opening a door for a lady. There was actually a time when that was considered the polite and considerate thing to do. :rolleyes:

 

I agree that there's nothing worng with any of that. But I also agree there's nothing wrong with a lady reusing those courtesies anymore than there is what a man refusing them. And I do think that it's wrong for a waiter to automatically presume a woman will not want to order for herself and just ask the man for her order.

 

And that's the point; the bias based on gender is that a woman will not (or maybe should not?) order for herself. And IMHO that is wrong and I can understand why the woman might complain. Sure it's a pretty small thing in the grand scheme of things, but those small things add up and add to frustration and annoyance.

 

Sure crappy service can occur for many reasons, but one of them is bias based on antiquated notions of how men and women should/must behave.

[discjoker]

I agree that there's nothing worng with any of that. But I also agree there's nothing wrong with a lady reusing those courtesies anymore than there is what a man refusing them. And I do think that it's wrong for a waiter to automatically presume a woman will not want to order for herself and just ask the man for her order.

 

And that's the point; the bias based on gender is that a woman will not (or maybe should not?) order for herself. And IMHO that is wrong and I can understand why the woman might complain. Sure it's a pretty small thing in the grand scheme of things, but those small things add up and add to frustration and annoyance.

 

Sure crappy service can occur for many reasons, but one of them is bias based on antiquated notions of how men and women should/must behave.

 

I think we are pretty much on the same page.

[ma_t_gus]

You also have to understand that these employees are from different countries and cultures. What Americans might consider rude, they might consider as normal in their country.

[RnGram]

I spent 5 weeks solo on the old NCL Dream 2 years ago and I felt that I got fantastic service! Sometimes I felt they were treating me special because I WAS a solo female. I may be a little older and in the countries that many of the staff come from, older ladies are treated with more respect than in the USA. (Gosh I hated saying that) I am inclined to think that the day in question for you, the waiter was just having a bad day and maybe wasn't up to par with anyone, male or female. :)

[Ontheotherhand]

You also have to understand that these employees are from different countries and cultures. What Americans might consider rude, they might consider as normal in their country.

 

You are correct, but then it is up to their employer, the cruise line, to properly train them as to what behavior their customers, or many of their customers will appreciate and what they will consider rude of offensive. After all, the cruise line exists to serve its customers and make sure they have a good time, so this training is important in many areas.

[coralreef62]

I will be taking my first solo cruise next May so I can't answer specifically about the wait staff on cruise ships. I have traveled extensively and I notice I don’t get the same service as larger parties. The server will take the order for a larger party before me, even if I was seated first and am ready to order. The larger party will get their drinks first, refilled more frequently, the server is more attentive to larger parties. I have waited more than once for a check after I indicated to the server I would like the check. I am treated as an afterthought. It has happened to many times in too many parts of the country to say it is poor service. I never attributed the discrimination to being a female but because I am solo diner and solo diners tip less than larger parties.

[MrLee]

I will be taking my first solo cruise next May so I can't answer specifically about the wait staff on cruise ships. I have traveled extensively and I notice I don’t get the same service as larger parties. The server will take the order for a larger party before me, even if I was seated first and am ready to order. The larger party will get their drinks first, refilled more frequently, the server is more attentive to larger parties. I have waited more than once for a check after I indicated to the server I would like the check. I am treated as an afterthought. It has happened to many times in too many parts of the country to say it is poor service. I never attributed the discrimination to being a female but because I am solo diner and solo diners tip less than larger parties.

 

I have to agree. On our HAL cruise we ended up with a table for 2 and our waiter, who also had 3 tables for 8, never even gave us menus. After 45 mintes we left. Same thing next night. To make a long story short, we never ate in the MDR at all on a 14 day cruise.

[jp2001]

I spent 5 weeks solo on the old NCL Dream 2 years ago and I felt that I got fantastic service! Sometimes I felt they were treating me special because I WAS a solo female. I may be a little older and in the countries that many of the staff come from, older ladies are treated with more respect than in the USA. (Gosh I hated saying that) I am inclined to think that the day in question for you, the waiter was just having a bad day and maybe wasn't up to par with anyone, male or female. :)

 

I can totally relate even if I am younger (I was around 28 for my NCL solo cruise) and had great service, they tried hard to please me and I think it was due to being solo. On another cruise, I was travelling with my sister-in-law and we had great service too (sometimes the male staff might have been flirting with us just a bit too but it was not rude, annoying or anything – the female staff also gave great service and looked happy to see us every night).

 

I don’t think this issue has anything to do with tips either because they cannot be sure how much (or not) you will tip before the meal is over and, personally, I don’t give a tip for every meal in the DR. I give tip in the specialty restaurant (only about 5$ pp since I figure they already get to share the tipping pool) and in the DR I will sometimes throw in an extra 2-5$pp but not every time, just if I had a special request or the waiter went an extra mile to do something special for me.

 

It has nothing to do with the fact of being a man or woman but I think the waiters make an extra effort when you dress nicely (skirt with cute top or a dress), than when going casual. It might only have been a coincidence but the only times I felt as I got just ‘’ok’’ service was when I was dressed casual (capris with a polo shirt for example), I think the staff takes pride in their dinning room/restaurant and that they appreciate when we make an effort to show ourselves at our best.

[AFT_LOVER]

I am very happy to state that NCL trains their wait staff very well. Rudeness is not tolerated and they have plenty of spies around the dining room & specialty restaurants. When a gal dropped a plate on the way to the dining room, it was recovered by an Officer who showing out of the air, as it seemed. I have had the Food & Bev Director stop to inquire how service & food was. We enjoyed that.

 

Tips are last night, or in our case added to our bill last night. Then the OBCs credit that. May I also remind you to buy a deposit for your next cruise onboard, so you get a $100 OBC & the deposit is $250 for your next cruise. You can buy more than one if you might book more than one cruise, as we did last month. $250 deposit was for one & we paid $500 deposit for the other.

 

Enjoy NCL, who I find the best cruiseline out there in our book. And we have sailed 30 cruises on Carnival, Princess, Celebrity, RCCL Radisson 7 Seas & NCL. And a touch of humor that is reality. SEAGULL is a term of a female sailing solo that trails officers for a date. Some Officers as well of fellow sailers, take advantage of the free "hooker" and walk away at the end of the sailing leaving her getting off the ship to her flight home. My husband & I enjoyed this term & description from the Captain who happened to have a live onboard & we told him to call us to accompany him. What a show we watched & I felt for him & the rest of the great gentleman who worked so well with him.

[deepnite10]

there must be a NCL rep that ll come across this thread..and a few weeks later some kinda memo will go out .:rolleyes:

[buckirj1]

I've experienced this on land, but thankfully never during a cruise. Hope I never do.

[Sparkylok6]

And a touch of humor that is reality. SEAGULL is a term of a female sailing solo that trails officers for a date. Some Officers as well of fellow sailers, take advantage of the free "hooker" and walk away at the end of the sailing leaving her getting off the ship to her flight home. My husband & I enjoyed this term & description from the Captain who happened to have a live onboard & we told him to call us to accompany him. What a show we watched & I felt for him & the rest of the great gentleman who worked so well with him.

 

Quite honestly I don't know why anyone would post this on a public forum, not to mention how it is insulting to the "good" people on the ships. Sorry but I don't find anything humorous about this post.

 

So what you are saying is the Officers and sailors "share" this person for an entire cruise? :eek: :rolleyes:

 

The Captain actually called you to accompany him???? What kind of "show" could there really have been?

 

Kinda makes me wanna go.....huh????:rolleyes:

[WinnieinWA]

Quite honestly I don't know why anyone would post this on a public forum, not to mention how it is insulting to the "good" people on the ships. Sorry but I don't find anything humorous about this post.

 

So what you are saying is the Officers and sailors "share" this person for an entire cruise? :eek: :rolleyes:

 

The Captain actually called you to accompany him???? What kind of "show" could there really have been?

 

Kinda makes me wanna go.....huh????:rolleyes:

 

Yeah, I didn't understand that either. It isn't humorous to me either.:rolleyes:

 

Thanks to all who posted. A lot of answers gave me a good deal to think about. :) For the record I believe NCL has the friendliest and warmest crew of 4 lines I've been on.

[orangeh3]

Quite honestly I don't know why anyone would post this on a public forum, not to mention how it is insulting to the "good" people on the ships. Sorry but I don't find anything humorous about this post.

 

So what you are saying is the Officers and sailors "share" this person for an entire cruise? :eek: :rolleyes:

 

The Captain actually called you to accompany him???? What kind of "show" could there really have been?

 

Kinda makes me wanna go.....huh????:rolleyes:

 

I wonder what she would say if she knew what The Staff on the ships say about the people coming back to CC and posting incorrect information and lies? :rolleyes:

[WinnieinWA]

I wonder what she would say if she knew what The Staff on the ships say about the people coming back to CC and posting incorrect information and lies? :rolleyes:

 

Magpie, perhaps? Or a crow at least.

[flashdog_1]

On our first NCL cruise my husband was so happy that he did not have to be at a meal at any particular time that he just hung out listening to music etc. So when I was hungry, I'd go to the dining room alone.

 

My server made conversation with me (without asking why I was alone), took my order FIRST and then got the orders from the adjacent table. He must have placed all orders at once because there was no delay between service to my table and theirs. As a matter of fact I got mine first.

 

I made note of his name and wrote a little review of him for the front desk since I was so impressed.

 

BTW when I'd run into DH later I'd ask if he'd eaten and he invariably would not have, so I'd go to the buffet and make him a plate and take it to him so he wouldn't starve. ha

 

Now he will go to the dining room with me as along as WE choose the time.

[AuntieBon]

I'm offended that, even if true (and I doubt it), AftLover posted such a comment that would reflect poorly on the staff and captain & find it totally inappropriate. A captain doesn't obtain his status with loose lips so unlikely that he would say such a thing. :rolleyes:

 

The only time I've been treated poorly by wait staff was at a land restaurant but have been treated poorly on a ship by other diners after I was seated at a table with 7 family members. One of the younger folk made the comment "that she doesn't belong with us" at which time her grandmother (who paid for the cruise) told her to hush and spoke to me the entire meal.:p

[sunshine nana]

We've never cruised with our grown sons, but have found extra good service in land restaurants from young women servers when one or both or them were with us! Can't say I blame these young women!

[pixiedustdawn]

And a touch of humor that is reality. SEAGULL is a term of a female sailing solo that trails officers for a date. Some Officers as well of fellow sailers, take advantage of the free "hooker" and walk away at the end of the sailing leaving her getting off the ship to her flight home. My husband & I enjoyed this term & description from the Captain who happened to have a live onboard & we told him to call us to accompany him. What a show we watched & I felt for him & the rest of the great gentleman who worked so well with him.

 

 

Wow!!! Loose lips, do sink ships and jobs can be on the line.

 

I am more than sure NCL reads these forums. This was a disgraceful posting.

 

It's a little hard to believe that a woman would pay double occupancy fees just to chase after men in uniforms!!!

 

Answer to the OP's question. I do not travel solo, but I do travel with my young daughter. I have always found service to be just fine, and don't see any difference because I am alone with a child, or even when I sometimes dine alone without her.