I'm a paranoid parent.....

[kiraryker]

This will be our 2nd cruise with our kids - last time all 5 of us were in 1 room this time I have booked a balcony for me & hubby and our 10yo daughter and an interior room right across the hall for my 2 oldest 17yo son and 21 yo daughter. We are going on the Dream

 

Well I'm just wondering how have you delt with the idea of knowing your kids are safe in their room at night? I know my oldest is going to want to be out later as she has her cousin and her cousins boyfriend staying 1 level down from us to hang around with and as she has told me many times I am an adult. I just worry about her walking the halls alone. Am I just being too paranoid??? Of course my daughter says she will be fine and knows all the warnings I have told her but still..........

 

Any suggestions for keeping tabs? Or should I just lighten up?? I just told her I don't want to be spending my cruise worrying about her safety. Yes I know I'm overly cautious can't help it.

[uppitycats]

This will be our 2nd cruise with our kids - last time all 5 of us were in 1 room this time I have booked a balcony for me & hubby and our 10yo daughter and an interior room right across the hall for my 2 oldest 17yo son and 21 yo daughter. We are going on the Dream

 

Well I'm just wondering how have you delt with the idea of knowing your kids are safe in their room at night? I know my oldest is going to want to be out later as she has her cousin and her cousins boyfriend staying 1 level down from us to hang around with and as she has told me many times I am an adult. I just worry about her walking the halls alone. Am I just being too paranoid??? Of course my daughter says she will be fine and knows all the warnings I have told her but still..........

 

Any suggestions for keeping tabs? Or should I just lighten up?? I just told her I don't want to be spending my cruise worrying about her safety. Yes I know I'm overly cautious can't help it.

 

 

Your daughter is 21?? She IS an adult. I was married at 21! (no, not a forced marriage. Not pregnant, then or ever.) Many 21 year olds, even if they're not married...live independently in their own apartments, or college dorms.

 

Yes, there are risks on the ship. Just as there are at home in your neighborhood. You've given her "warnings", you need to trust her a bit to heed them.

 

You could have her knock on your door as she's heading back to her cabin, I suppose. Or slip a note under your door. Depends on when you think she'd be coming back, and if you really want to wait up for her!

[okgirl]

This will be our 2nd cruise with our kids - last time all 5 of us were in 1 room this time I have booked a balcony for me & hubby and our 10yo daughter and an interior room right across the hall for my 2 oldest 17yo son and 21 yo daughter. We are going on the Dream

 

Well I'm just wondering how have you delt with the idea of knowing your kids are safe in their room at night? I know my oldest is going to want to be out later as she has her cousin and her cousins boyfriend staying 1 level down from us to hang around with and as she has told me many times I am an adult. I just worry about her walking the halls alone. Am I just being too paranoid??? Of course my daughter says she will be fine and knows all the warnings I have told her but still..........

 

Any suggestions for keeping tabs? Or should I just lighten up?? I just told her I don't want to be spending my cruise worrying about her safety. Yes I know I'm overly cautious can't help it.

 

Yep, you are being a bit paranoid........:o

The ships really are very safe. I'm sure you've taught your daughter not to go into or allow any "new" aquaintances in her cabin.

There are cameras everywhere and a very visable security presence on all of the public decks.

The only time I feel a bit uneasy is really late at night walking on the Lido deck going to get pizza. I don't know why but since all the bars are closed at the midship, I don't like going across that big open deck. So I go to the aft elevators to go up for pizza then the station is right there and there are other people around.

[Nunu]

I suppose there's nothing wrong with worrying. I just don't think you should put that on a 21 yr. old.

[steveNcindy]

If you are worried then either you are way too protective or she is a very immature 21 year old.

 

Just lighten up.

[Joaljoe]

I was married and had my first child at 21..... really, I think she will be fine. :) My concern would be having my 10 year old in there... make sure the two older ones are responsible enough not to leave her in there by herself.

 

I have a 9 year old daughter and what would make me paranoid is having her alone across the hall and wondering if the 17 year old is sneaking out because the 21 year old is out thinking she'll be fine because she's sleeping.

 

But I wouldn't worry about your oldest one... let her have fun! :)

[babyher]

As a parent I understand that you worry .

 

As the parent of a 21 year old son (OK I know different than a girl) You just have to let go and pray that all the things you have taught them through the years actually sinks in.

 

Last year my son moved out to his own place. So far so good he is doing great. This year my 18 yr old daughter moves out of state for school.

 

You just have to hope for the best.

[stargate fan]

This will be our 2nd cruise with our kids - last time all 5 of us were in 1 room this time I have booked a balcony for me & hubby and our 10yo daughter and an interior room right across the hall for my 2 oldest 17yo son and 21 yo daughter. We are going on the Dream

 

Well I'm just wondering how have you delt with the idea of knowing your kids are safe in their room at night? I know my oldest is going to want to be out later as she has her cousin and her cousins boyfriend staying 1 level down from us to hang around with and as she has told me many times I am an adult. I just worry about her walking the halls alone. Am I just being too paranoid??? Of course my daughter says she will be fine and knows all the warnings I have told her but still..........

 

Any suggestions for keeping tabs? Or should I just lighten up?? I just told her I don't want to be spending my cruise worrying about her safety. Yes I know I'm overly cautious can't help it.

 

Since you asked... yes, you need to lighten up. In fact, I would even put the 10 y.o in the cabin with her siblings.

 

If you have taught your children what is right and what is wrong, and they have exhibited their understanding and acceptance of this knowledge, then you should let them be.

 

Our kids have had their own cabins, near ours, since they were 16 and 13.5. I never worried that they would ignore the rules of the ship or the rules they grew up learning. They knew what time to be in their cabins at night. We each had a pad of Sticky Notes for communication. Since we always stayed out later than they did, they left us notes informing us that they were in for the night. We trusted them without fault.

 

The oldest just graduated from college and moved 600 miles away to begin his career and the youngest finished his second year of college a few months ago and is working full time until school starts again. I do not worry about what they do or where they go when they are at their "homes away from home" because DH and I did a great job raising them. I think of them constantly, but I do not worry.

 

Time to trust your kids. (Unless they have given you a reason to do otherwise.)

[RalphWill]

I cruised many times as a teenager and was always able to go out on my own around the ship, and my younger sister was able to do the same. We never had any issues or felt unsafe at all.

[H82seaUgo]

yes, you are a paranoid parent. So am i.

 

i'm assuming they know all the rules, travel in pairs, etc? no different than if you were in a city.

 

but no matter what you do, you will always be worrying. i would have them knock at your door when they are retiring, so you can get a good nights rest from that point on.

 

do not let them sleep in. once their clocks are off where they are coming in at all hours, and getting up at lunchtime, does no one any good.

[DragonMouse]

She's 21??? Oh my...don't worry. Have a good time. If she really wants too she's old enough to cruise by herself.

 

You've done a good job advising her to be "safe" it's her job now to practice it. I really think she's safer on the ship than going out to a night club back home or wherever else she may venture too. At 21 if she doesn't already have her own apartment she'll be getting the "itch" soon enough.

 

Have your 10 year old try out Camp Carnival the 17 year old can try out Club 02...they'll meet a lot of friends and have a blast.

[klfrodo]

Am I just being too paranoid???

 

Any suggestions for keeping tabs? Or should I just lighten up?? .

 

My Opinion? Yes, you're being WAY TOO paranoid and Yes you should lighten up.

 

Your 21 YO IS an adult. Your 17YO? you've already done everything you can do. He/She has already been taught everything you know about responsibility and right and wrong.

 

Keeping Tabs? :eek: Do you want them to run away from you and never trust you? Or do you want them to know that you trust them and they should feel comfortable coming to you anytime they have a problem?

[H82seaUgo]

I cruised many times as a teenager and was always able to go out on my own around the ship, and my younger sister was able to do the same. We never had any issues or felt unsafe at all.

 

Sorry, doll, but telling someone it's safe.....it is not. always be on guard, especially when alcohol is involved.

 

are you aware of the statistics of on board crime?

[klfrodo]

Sorry, doll, but telling someone it's safe.....it is not. always be on guard, especially when alcohol is involved.

 

Are you aware of the statistics of on board crime?

 

While I'm not going to disagree with always being vigilent and always be aware of your surroundings, trying to spout stats is not condusive. We all know that stats are cherry picked to prove the authors point in most cases.

 

Who was it that said there are 2 kinds of statistics. Lies and damn lies.

[kiraryker]

Yes she did go away for college but it's just different when she is around my protection instinct kicks in. I actually slept better at night when she moved out!!

 

She is a very smart girl but I know what can happen and I know they all have had my lectures on all the weirdos and it just worries me more being on a ship and really anyone can throw you over and you wouldn't be found - paranoid I know!!!

 

My 10yo is staying with us - mostly because my other 2 don't want to be babysitting all the time.

 

I know I need to lighten up - I like the idea of getting the knock on the door when she returns at night -

 

She will just be turning 21 2 months before our trip - and yes I've given her all the warnings about alcohol - just the idea of being on the ship I think makes me worried.

 

I will try to lighten up - I know I need to so I enjoy this trip also.

[H82seaUgo]

While I'm not going to disagree with always being vigilent and always be aware of your surroundings, trying to spout stats is not condusive. We all know that stats are cherry picked to prove the authors point in most cases.

 

Who was it that said there are 2 kinds of statistics. Lies and damn lies.

 

yes, statistics mean nothing to that girl coming around a corner where someone's waiting on her, but to say "it's safe" is outright irresponsible.

[Joaljoe]

Oooops!!! Sorry, totally misread that! If your 10 yo is staying with you then I would have no worries at all. Just let her know what you expect, tell her you have lots of faith in her and too be careful when she's drinking.

 

The knock on the door sounds like a great idea but you probably won't be getting any sleep because you'll be waiting for it. And if she ever forgets... your night is over. lol

[LHP]

I would be concerned about your parenting skills if you were NOT at all concerned.

 

Worrying about our kids is a condition that we get when they are born.

 

Now, the key is balancing that "concern" with "common sense".

 

She is 21. And only you know IF she has given you REASON to be concerned in the past.

 

If she has given you reason to be concerned...than your response should be measured to the amount of past irresponsible behavior.

 

If she has NOT given you reason to be concerned...than trust that her future actions will be as good as her past actions.

 

My oldest is 22 and a boy ( as the earlier poster said...totally different than a girl) ... when we are on a cruise.... (BECAUSE he has proven himself in the past) ... his only rule is that he had better not wake me up when he gets in.

 

IF she has been responsible in the past, just give them all the "group" talk about staying together and using "common sense"....

[arush5268d]

Way way way paranoid.

[Soonerbaby]

We will be cruising for the first time in October. We are taking, our DD - 21, DD boyfriend - 21, DD - 18, DD friend - 18, DS - 17 and DS - 12. There is no such thing as being paranoid when it comes to your kids safety, no matter how old they are. All of our kids will be required to check in, and never go anywhere alone. They are all responsible and great kids, but I think I would be a little nervous, even if they were all 30! They will not be required to stay with us all of the time, but we need to know that they are safe and making good choices....at home or on a cruise ship.

[Upandadam]

A while back we took 4 of our kids in a blended family on a cruise ages 17-21. They were in two separate rooms a way down the hall from us.

 

Never worried about them once and they had a blast. So did we.

[kiraryker]

I know I would feel better if her cousin was staying with her I don't know why just the idea she has to walk back to her room alone - Maybe I could ask them since her cousin's boyfriend is along if they would walk her to her room when they are done for the night??

 

I will lighten up - She is a very tough girl and like her dad says if anyone took her once she opens her mouth they certainly would return her!! HA HA

[babyher]

I know I would feel better if her cousin was staying with her I don't know why just the idea she has to walk back to her room alone - Maybe I could ask them since her cousin's boyfriend is along if they would walk her to her room when they are done for the night??

 

I will lighten up - She is a very tough girl and like her dad says if anyone took her once she opens her mouth they certainly would return her!! HA HA

 

 

 

 

*LOL* Thats what we say about our DD(18) . She ever gets kidnapped within a half hour they will be calling us with an offer for us to take her back. I tell my wife to start negotiations at $100,000 :)

[linda_22003]

She will just be turning 21 2 months before our trip - and yes I've given her all the warnings about alcohol - just the idea of being on the ship I think makes me worried.

 

 

Then the solution to that is to leave 'em at home.

[notme1955]

You are being waaaayyyy too paranoid.

 

When my oldest son was 21 he was in the Army and had a wife and toddler and was on his way to living in Germany for a year. He's 34 now and on his way to Afghanistan. We're going next week to say goodbye to him. It's his third time in the Middle East.

 

I only wish he were going on a cruise with us.

 

I guess it's all perspective, but at 21, I would be aware, but wouldn't voice it to the extent that I'd want my adult child to feel they had to check in with me. Sometimes, we just have to trust them to make their own choices and to take care of themselves. I've learned a big part of parenting is letting go.

 

Maybe I'm reading more into what you've posted, but it almost sounds like you are afraid of cruising, or at least afraid of the ships. Have you had an incident that makes you uncomfortable in feeling like your children will be safe on a cruise ship? Just curious.