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Cruise on anniversary of son's death?


rotu

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I can understand your pain!! I lost my 16 year old son in a car accident on April 15, 2007. We were to take a family cruise in July of same year. We cancelled that cruise because we could not imagine going on that one without him. Our first anniversary of his death we spent at home with the support of friends we were able to get through that day. I think its a very personal decision as to how you want to spend the anniversary. If going on a cruise will make the day easier than I say go for it. No one should judge your decision as to what you do on that day!!

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My 16 year old son was killed in a car wreck Dec 22. My wife and I are trying to decide whether or not to take a cruise on the first anniversary of his death. I would like to be out of town during this time. The last 6 months have been incredibly painful and I don't think I can take the constant reminders. She has mixed emotions about leaving. Our son loved cruising, as we took the kids every year on a cruise. Whatever we do, I dread this day. The reason I am posting, is I would like the opinions of fellow Cruise Critics. Thanks in advance.

 

First of all, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I've lost five family members in the past 20 months, including both my parents, but it's NOT the same as losing a child.

 

I believe that taking a cruise on the anniversary is a great idea. The anniversary will always be difficult, there's no question about that. But doing something your son loved is a wonderful way to "connect" to his memory in a positive way.

 

I truly believe that he would love the fact that you're on a cruise ship that day, it will be a great tribute to his memory.

 

- Sharon -

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I'm so sorry for everyone's losses on this thread. So sad that there are so many, but touching in a way how everyone is gathering together to help out a fellow CC'er.

 

I would probably go, if it were me. Getting away and paying tribute to your son sounds like a good plan.

 

It's also is making me reflect on exactly how many different reasons why different people may choose to cruise. I know it will make me share a few more smiles with my fellow passengers on my next cruise, you never know who may be cruising for this very same reason and could use that extra spot of brightness in their day.

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I'm so sorry for everyone's losses on this thread. So sad that there are so many, but touching in a way how everyone is gathering together to help out a fellow CC'er.

 

 

I feel the same and extend my condolences to each of you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

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I am so sorry for your loss, my dear father passsed on Dec 22 2006, and it is hard, also hard cause Christmas is 3 days later

 

My first year I went to a friends home in the "country" (Ocala fl) to just be away from the house etc

It was good to be away cause that way I didn't have to worry about decorating my house, putting up a tree etc

It really eased the stress on me I think

 

So by cruising at this time of year you would also have a more low key/ship arranged Christmas JMO

and that would be nice

 

 

Whatever you decide I wish you strength and peace and the ability to share the good memories of your dear son.

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SO sorry for your loss -- that's a pain where you never even knew you had a PLACE! First anniversary is always tough -- regardless of where you are and who you are with. I hope your first concern is facing this WITH your wife . . . she is in extreme pain just like you are; would a cruise make her feel worse? better? can you share that day supporting each other regardless of where you are? This is a decision y'all need to agree on, it's a shared, real milestone and hopefully a turning point. One of the most comforting passages in the bible is Psalm 30:5 . . . "weeping may endure for a night, but but joy cometh in the morning." I hope you are reaching towards the end of your night of grief and can regain a measure of joy. And regardless of WHERE you are, I pray you face it together, supporting each other most importantly, and stepping closer to peace and acceptance.

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ROTU -

Take your right arm and wrap it around your left shoulder. Now take your left arm and wrap it around your right shoulder. This is me giving you a hug :p .

 

If your son loved cruising I think that you and your wife should honor him by doing something that he loved to do. In fact this might be hard but take a picture of him with you and leave it, along with flowers, on his favorite beach.

 

And remember that while your son is no longer with you here on earth he will always be with you, in that special little corner of your heart.

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I believe that one can plan a private family rememberance onboard. One (or more) of the officers are usually present while you have the special time with/for your son. I also think that the Captain will sign a certificate of some sort, noting the latitude & longitude of the place where you throw flowers, or as another poster suggested something of his, over into the sea which he loved. I think your travel agent might handle this or an e-mail to Carnival Guest Relations.

No parent fully recovers from the death of a child, because it's so totally opposite to the natural order of things. My condolences to you and a wish for a wonderful chance to remember your son, wherever you may be. :)

Cruzin Lady

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How terrible for your family. For your son....

 

You need to so what your heart tells you . I have lost nearly my whole family in a 5 year span. My Dad to cancer (5 years on the 17th) My beloved and only baby brother and my mom to alzhiemers (Just 7o years old)

 

I am a single parent raising a child with a life-threatening and fatal ilness. Since the death of my brother in 2007. I haven't stayed home for Christmas. It is too hard. He was always with us.....

 

Vacationing, especially cruising at Christmas makes us fill less lonely. It is just my son

(13 years ) and myself.....

 

Take care,

 

Charleyann

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I am so sorry about the loss of your son. I say get out of town, try to be busy- get away. Thats my opinion, but everyone deals with grief/loss of loved ones differently. I personally feel you'd be better off with a boat load of people to make you laugh and eat till your stuffed. Again, sorry for your loss.

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My heart dropped like a rock on this subject, as my only son is a teenager and I can't even process those kind of thoughts. That being said, one of the best expressions I ever heard is "celebrate life"-- if cruising is what makes you feel better in your heart, go do it. Your son would probably wan't you to.

 

Love to you and your family.

 

Andy

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My deepest sympathies for your loss. I can't imagine losing my child & hope I'm never faced with such a great pain. Only you know what will help you but, if I may make a suggestion, since you're considering a cruise book it. However, purchase cancellation insurance as well so, when it gets closer, if you feel you made the wrong decision you can cancel.

 

Everyone grieves differently. There's no right or wrong way. Perhaps you'll find a way to celebrate his life & cruising may be it. Talk about him and his life to your friends and family. What helps me when a loved one dies is to try to incorporate a part of what I admired most about that person into my own life, thereby keeping a part of him alive. Or doing deeds in honor of that person, something I know he would have done but I typically would not have done.

 

Whatever you decide, as 1 parent to another, hugs to you.

Dorothy

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I too, lost the eldest of my 2 sons in a car crash. We remember his birthday and we remember his life. We do not hold the day he died in any special significance. That simply was a very bad day, best forgotten.

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I too, lost the eldest of my 2 sons in a car crash. We remember his birthday and we remember his life. We do not hold the day he died in any special significance. That simply was a very bad day, best forgotten.

 

OP's son died on his Mom's birthday. :(

 

So sorry for your loss and for all who have posted. You're in my prayers.

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My heart dropped like a rock on this subject, as my only son is a teenager and I can't even process those kind of thoughts. That being said, one of the best expressions I ever heard is "celebrate life"-- if cruising is what makes you feel better in your heart, go do it. Your son would probably wan't you to.

 

Love to you and your family.

 

Andy

 

Took the words right out of my mouth. I would deff go, celebrate his life, remember the good times, toast a drink to his life. He would not want you guys to be at home and sad. I think it's a great way to remember him.

 

After my mom passed away, me and her best friend went to Mexico on her bday and had a remember mom week as she always wanted to go.

 

Hugss

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My 16 year old son was killed in a car wreck Dec 22. My wife and I are trying to decide whether or not to take a cruise on the first anniversary of his death. I would like to be out of town during this time. The last 6 months have been incredibly painful and I don't think I can take the constant reminders. She has mixed emotions about leaving. Our son loved cruising, as we took the kids every year on a cruise. Whatever we do, I dread this day. The reason I am posting, is I would like the opinions of fellow Cruise Critics. Thanks in advance.

 

---I am so sorry for your loss, Im sure you are devastated to say the least.

I agree with many others here, Go for the cruise, he would likely want you to---

God bless you and your family through this difficult time in your life.

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My heart aches for you....

 

Although I have not suffered your loss I did help a dear cousin through the loss of her son and he was buried on Mothers Day. She has a younger son and it was really tough on him as well even though he didnt want to show it.

 

I can say that we took our 1st Christmas cruise last year after a really rough year with the pressures of sick parents and it was the best thing we could have done.. It was such a relief to not have the pressures of decorating, cooking, gifts etc... We had a wonderful time and would love to do it again. Your daughter would also have the chance to escape the constant memories by going to the teen club and hanging out with other teens that are there withouth them knowing all the details of the importance to your family of the date.

 

This would also be a good opportunity for your family to start making "New" memories that will help put the smiles back on your faces.

 

I pray that where ever you are on that date you receive the peace Grace has to offer...

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I am so very sorry about your son and you have my deepest sympathy.

 

Go on the cruise, get your own balcony and have a short remberance for him on that day and do something special during the rememberance like tossing 16-white carnations into the sea.

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Perhaps you may want to plan your own private way to celebrate his life while on the cruise, or by doing something special at each port you visit. A small donation to a school in each port, or a trinket you bury on each beach, whatever will represent his life on that.

 

My prayers for peace and guidance for you as you make this decision.

 

This is exactly what I was thinking! I don't think I'd want to be home on the first anniversary and so close the Christmas. I would go and do something at each port to celebrate his life and joy of cruising.

 

Another thing is you have a younger sibling and it will be hard on her as well. However, she will probably be able to have fun in Camp Carnival ect. because she is a child still, while you and your wife can use that time to cry, grieve and be with each other by yourselves and allow her to be a child and not feel guilty for having fun.

 

Just my thoughts. I have a 16 year old son and I can not even imagine the pain if I lost him. Many hugs to your family.

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We lost our middle daughter July 2003 to a car accident. She was the light of our lives. Our family unit was now changed and we all had to regroup as a family. My husband suggested a cruise ( which is something we had done before kids). So the following March (2004), my husband and I, our two other daughters embarked on our first cruise. We all felt that Kim was with us (we did bring her picture and put it in our cabin). It was very comforting to us to be together at sea for a week together. In this day and age, our lives are so busy that meals together and just time together is hard to come by. Being at sea allowed us to heal together. It has been so successful that we are still going every year.

 

Time heals somewhat but it never gets easier. It's 7 years for us and somedays it feels like just yesterday. Other days it seems like a hundred years ago. I will tell you that each year is different. But take comfort in knowing that your child is safely in God's home and no further harm can ever come to him. We are the ones that suffer not them. Go on that cruise and find comfort in each other.

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To everyone here who lost a loved on....my condolences.

Rotu= son

Akeelah= son

DeltaDear= daughter

Anamanxs=son

Crabbdock= son

NYGirl1002= husband

Abilenecruiser= wife

SteelerJen= mother

3Hearts= brother

IIachance= nephew

Frankiesmom= brother

Spleenstomper= father

OSUcruiser= father

Hazeleyez23= aunt

Redskin80= father

SandyJabs= father

Kjunea= father

Grandmotherof3= niece

Margienj= daughter

Dan40= son

Jabberjaw070596= son

JTM22372= daughter

DustyRoad= son

 

that makes 10 on this tread who lost a child.

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thoth.

thank you for the post. we all have suffered a trmemdous loss at some time in our lives but no parent should outlive our children. when my son died in april, 1999 there were 4 other sons lost in a 7 month period within a 25 mile area. we are a small country area so we all knew the children and parents. us mothers formed a '' moms club '' and gathered together at a local place one saturday a month for a few hours of talking and helping each other as much as we could. we all had huge shoulders for others too cry on. it was so helpful. there were tears, smiles and wonderful rememberances of our lost loved ones. to all the others here who have had a tragic loss, my heart goes out too you .

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