I give up on trying to please everyone!

[Denise2000]

Don't mind me it's been one of those days....time is rapidly approaching and now everyone wants to RSVP when the ceremony is May 4th. So I get 3 different calls today with 3 different complaints but the one that put the icing on the cake was when one of my bridesmaid(FI's cousin) calls me and tell me that my wedding will be an inconvenicece to everyone that will be attending it because we will be docked in Nassau,Bahamas and to get off the boat and come back on is not fair to them. She asked me to change the wedding location to Cococay and also asked if I could just get married while the boat was in motion(WTH):mad: !! The nerve of her! So me being the soft spoken country girl from Alabama calls the WE with her on the line and proceeds to ask about making the changes not realizing that 1 you can't get married while the boat is in the water and 2 they don't do weddings in Cococay, so then she ask the coordinator about the time and she says that they will call me 2 weeks before the ceremony like I've been telling everyone else. I did put in a request for the 9am ceremony but when I called my MI to inform her she said "who is going to eat that type of food at 9 am, that's not breakfast food and then you are having open too, you need to call them back and put in a request for 11 am." I'm at a lost now and don't know what to do! FYI...the boat will be docked from 7 am till 12 am in Nassau.

[Jacky01]

Don't mind me it's been one of those days....time is rapidly approaching and now everyone wants to RSVP when the ceremony is May 4th. So I get 3 different calls today with 3 different complaints but the one that put the icing on the cake was when one of my bridesmaid(FI's cousin) calls me and tell me that my wedding will be an inconvenicece to everyone that will be attending it because we will be docked in Nassau,Bahamas and to get off the boat and come back on is not fair to them. She asked me to change the wedding location to Cococay and also asked if I could just get married while the boat was in motion(WTH):mad: !! The nerve of her! So me being the soft spoken country girl from Alabama calls the WE with her on the line and proceeds to ask about making the changes not realizing that 1 you can't get married while the boat is in the water and 2 they don't do weddings in Cococay, so then she ask the coordinator about the time and she says that they will call me 2 weeks before the ceremony like I've been telling everyone else. I did put in a request for the 9am ceremony but when I called my MI to inform her she said "who is going to eat that type of food at 9 am, that's not breakfast food and then you are having open too, you need to call them back and put in a request for 11 am." I'm at a lost now and don't know what to do! FYI...the boat will be docked from 7 am till 12 am in Nassau.

 

 

Dear Denise, just my 2 cents and no offense.

I guessed you and your partner planned this day months ago, and your friends are very much aware of your plans? ITS YOUR DAY, and not the ones who are invited.

The friends who truely care for you will be there, they love you unconditionally.

Have a beautifull day, enjoy it to the fullest with all your loved ones, and dont change anything.

 

Big hug and congrats on your wedding!

[LarAndShar]

Its time to take a deep breath and RELAX.... This is your wedding and its time to please you and your groom not everyone else...

If they don't like the food, they don't need to eat... if its inconvenient for them they don't need to attend...

This is going to be YOUR special day, don't let anyone take that from you!

 

smile :)

[mrsgomez2011]

This is your wedding. Screw everyone. If those people have a problem with it, then you tell them this is set in stone and you knew this deal with it!

 

The nerve of some people.

[stacyj]

Don't mind me it's been one of those days....time is rapidly approaching and now everyone wants to RSVP when the ceremony is May 4th. So I get 3 different calls today with 3 different complaints but the one that put the icing on the cake was when one of my bridesmaid(FI's cousin) calls me and tell me that my wedding will be an inconvenicece to everyone that will be attending it because we will be docked in Nassau,Bahamas and to get off the boat and come back on is not fair to them. She asked me to change the wedding location to Cococay and also asked if I could just get married while the boat was in motion(WTH):mad: !! The nerve of her! So me being the soft spoken country girl from Alabama calls the WE with her on the line and proceeds to ask about making the changes not realizing that 1 you can't get married while the boat is in the water and 2 they don't do weddings in Cococay, so then she ask the coordinator about the time and she says that they will call me 2 weeks before the ceremony like I've been telling everyone else. I did put in a request for the 9am ceremony but when I called my MI to inform her she said "who is going to eat that type of food at 9 am, that's not breakfast food and then you are having open too, you need to call them back and put in a request for 11 am." I'm at a lost now and don't know what to do! FYI...the boat will be docked from 7 am till 12 am in Nassau.

 

Oh, honey, I think so many of us feel your pain. Feel free to vent any time- if you don't want to post it, my e-mail is stace120@hotmail.com. I'm starting to think about making a journal of the absurdities and atrocities of potential guests. Maybe we should put all of our stories together and write a wedding cruise book.

 

Agree with other posters- take a deep breath, sip (or gulp) a glass of wine, and just be happy you don't have to spend your whole trip with that beyotch. Hang in there and good luck!

[mountainbreeze]

Don't mind me it's been one of those days....time is rapidly approaching and now everyone wants to RSVP when the ceremony is May 4th. So I get 3 different calls today with 3 different complaints but the one that put the icing on the cake was when one of my bridesmaid(FI's cousin) calls me and tell me that my wedding will be an inconvenicece to everyone that will be attending it because we will be docked in Nassau,Bahamas and to get off the boat and come back on is not fair to them. She asked me to change the wedding location to Cococay and also asked if I could just get married while the boat was in motion(WTH):mad: !! The nerve of her! So me being the soft spoken country girl from Alabama calls the WE with her on the line and proceeds to ask about making the changes not realizing that 1 you can't get married while the boat is in the water and 2 they don't do weddings in Cococay, so then she ask the coordinator about the time and she says that they will call me 2 weeks before the ceremony like I've been telling everyone else. I did put in a request for the 9am ceremony but when I called my MI to inform her she said "who is going to eat that type of food at 9 am, that's not breakfast food and then you are having open too, you need to call them back and put in a request for 11 am." I'm at a lost now and don't know what to do! FYI...the boat will be docked from 7 am till 12 am in Nassau.

 

Denise ~ I totally agree with the other answers here. IT'S YOUR WEDDING and you get to do it just how you want it!

 

I don't get the bridesmaid's problem. She thinks it will be an inconvenience to get off the ship and get back on? Really?? I would tell her to just stay on the ship by herself if it is so inconvenient for her to come to your wedding in Nassau.

You are way too nice to have tried to call to make changes to your own wedding plans just to suit her. :)

And for your wedding time/food, I really think you will be just fine! All these people will have to be up early to get ready for your wedding. They will probably eat a little something for breakfast long before your wedding ceremony time. By the time your ceremony is over, they will all be hungry!!

I wouldn't change a thing! It sounds like you have a good plan in place. And just like one of the other posters said, she doesn't have to eat if she isn't hungry, or doesn't like the food.

Yes, I agree, some people have a lot of nerve!!!

Congratulations on your upcoming day!

[pinkdiamonddolly]

Tell them to effing get up really early then it will feel like lunch time. I am totally tired of these people acting like brides are an inconveinence to their vacations, seriously if you are so put out STAY HOME!!! Poor baby, don't let anyone rain on your parade.

[stacyj]

Tell them to effing get up really early then it will feel like lunch time. I am totally tired of these people acting like brides are an inconveinence to their vacations, seriously if you are so put out STAY HOME!!! Poor baby, don't let anyone rain on your parade.

 

 

Pinkdiamonddolly- I am starting to think that I wish you could write the words that were going to come out of my mouth for me :-)

 

Hang in there Denise- I really am thinking that there is some value to tossing aside "blushing bride" and replacing her with "bridezilla" in these situations :-)

[Denise2000]

Thank you all sooo much for your feedback. I'm not sure why I even called the coordinator with HER request. I agree with al the previous post and feels so much better after reading them all.

[Artemis908]

OMG I am the same way! I was born in Alabama, maybe it's an Alabama thing ;)

 

We get SO many complaints and requests, it drives me crazy and I have a really hard time saying no to family, especially my mother! She's complained about the food, the seating, the drinks, the bridal shower, UGH! Then my fiancee's stepmother was upset that her son wasn't in our wedding party so we had to suddenly add him as an usher. I've also felt like one or two of my bridesmaids don't like the dress I picked out... it seriously makes me want all of this to be over! Are we married yet? :P

 

It's really hard to not want try to make everyone happy and just say no. At one time I thought I was going to explode and say something that would make my mom not even want to come to the wedding. Finally I just said if someone doesn't like what I am doing they can feel free to not come to the wedding.

[pinkdiamonddolly]

I have a standard response "I am so sorry, but we are already under contract, it would cost X dollars (fill in whatever amount you like) to change that, if its that important perhaps you would not mind absorbing the cost. That tends to shut people up quick. Seriously my sister had a 50,000.00 wedding at Disney World (way overpriced really) and her bridesmaids dresses were platinum column dresses, I am 5 foot tall and not skinny, I looked like a vienna sausage wrapped in tin foil, but you know what I did- I showed up and smiled like it was the best day of my life, because thats what you do when you love someone and want them to have a wonderful day. I just don't for the life of me understand when wedding guests started thinking they could dictate someone wedding REALLY SERIOUSLY JUST NO NO NO!!!

[Denise2000]

Pinkdiamonddolly I wish I would have read this an hour ago...this is very stressful! Can't wait until this is all over with, LOL.

[Denise2000]

I have a standard response "I am so sorry, but we are already under contract, it would cost X dollars (fill in whatever amount you like) to change that, if its that important perhaps you would not mind absorbing the cost. That tends to shut people up quick. Seriously my sister had a 50,000.00 wedding at Disney World (way overpriced really) and her bridesmaids dresses were platinum column dresses, I am 5 foot tall and not skinny, I looked like a vienna sausage wrapped in tin foil, but you know what I did- I showed up and smiled like it was the best day of my life, because thats what you do when you love someone and want them to have a wonderful day. I just don't for the life of me understand when wedding guests started thinking they could dictate someone wedding REALLY SERIOUSLY JUST NO NO NO!!!

 

 

Hiliarious @ " I looked like a vienna sausage wrapped in tin foil" No one is willing to compromise on NOTHING. I asked the Bridesmaids months ago to wear some type of pin up for their hair...2 weeks prior to the wedding they are all coming up with all types of dilemnas!!! I have been beyond stress with this entire process and can't wait back to reflect at the end and say "wheew it was all worth it!" :o

[mrsgomez2011]

YOU DON'T NEED TO COMPROMISE!!!!!! It's your wedding and if they don't like it tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. You tell them what YOU want.

 

Remember this is your wedding, don't stress about making other people happy because at the end of the day, you are the one that needs to be the happiest. :)

[pinkdiamonddolly]

Ya'll are so sweet really, maybe because this is my second wedding and I am older. I really don't give a crap about others expectations. I don't know if I could have done a cruise wedding the first time, I was young, I had 850 people coming I was BRIDEZILLA LOL, that is not a good thing and I hated that my wedding turned me into that. I was so anal that I bought the BM's jewelry, shoes, gloves and hats (I am still so sorry to my bridesmaids for those big ole picture hats). You should care about the people you love and if you can make small accommodations why not? HOWEVER guests attitudes are way way out of control and I am at a loss as to why some people would act that way. Just don't forget this day is a beginning, its an event, but its not a marriage that is daily effort. I got so wrapped up in the wedding I totally forgot about the marriage and I woke up the day after the wedding sobbing uncontrollably, I was so depressed that my big day was over. Just remember the most important thing is your love and commitment to each other.:)

[Denise2000]

Ya'll are so sweet really, maybe because this is my second wedding and I am older. I really don't give a crap about others expectations. I don't know if I could have done a cruise wedding the first time, I was young, I had 850 people coming I was BRIDEZILLA LOL, that is not a good thing and I hated that my wedding turned me into that. I was so anal that I bought the BM's jewelry, shoes, gloves and hats (I am still so sorry to my bridesmaids for those big ole picture hats). You should care about the people you love and if you can make small accommodations why not? HOWEVER guests attitudes are way way out of control and I am at a loss as to why some people would act that way. Just don't forget this day is a beginning, its an event, but its not a marriage that is daily effort. I got so wrapped up in the wedding I totally forgot about the marriage and I woke up the day after the wedding sobbing uncontrollably, I was so depressed that my big day was over. Just remember the most important thing is your love and commitment to each other.:)

 

OMG you are really good at this(advising others):o I have found out that this wedding planning can consume your life it you let it. My entire weekends are planned around wedding coordinating and I can wait for things to go back yo normal.

 

Did you say you had 850 guest?!? Now that's a wedding!

[Denise2000]

YOU DON'T NEED TO COMPROMISE!!!!!! It's your wedding and if they don't like it tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. You tell them what YOU want.

 

Remember this is your wedding, don't stress about making other people happy because at the end of the day, you are the one that needs to be the happiest. :)

 

You are absolutely correct. I'm so focus on trying not to "ruffles any feathers" that I find myself doing things I don't want to do. No more these last 2 weeks it's going to be about what me and FI want and bump everyone else:D

[pinkdiamonddolly]

OMG you are really good at this(advising others):o I have found out that this wedding planning can consume your life it you let it. My entire weekends are planned around wedding coordinating and I can wait for things to go back yo normal.

 

Did you say you had 850 guest?!? Now that's a wedding!

 

 

God you have no idea, it just spiraled out of control. This time around I am way more excited. I am still an OCD control freak, but I am so much more excited about the marriage than the wedding (but I will still debate someone on the difference between eggshell and ecru LOL) This time around I want intimate and special. I guess I am totally old school because I could/would never dare to call a bride to complain. I feel so sorry for anyone who has to go thru that drama. My special advise to you-take at least 30 minutes a day to have a glass of wine and do something totally non-wedding related, it seems impossible right now, but I promise you need it.:)

[jko5261]

Denise,

I agree with what all the previous posters have said. My husband is a pastor and we have done quite a few weddings, the stories that some of the brides have told us about what their "friends" and family have said or done is incredible!

This is your and your fiancé's day. Make it special for you! May I also recommend that you and your fiancé set aside time with each other now and don't talk about the wedding at all. Remember the wedding is a day but your marriage is for a lifetime! Congratulations and best wishes on a happy life together!

 

Kelly

[Denise2000]

Denise,

I agree with what all the previous posters have said. My husband is a pastor and we have done quite a few weddings, the stories that some of the brides have told us about what their "friends" and family have said or done is incredible!

This is your and your fiancé's day. Make it special for you! May I also recommend that you and your fiancé set aside time with each other now and don't talk about the wedding at all. Remember the wedding is a day but your marriage is for a lifetime! Congratulations and best wishes on a happy life together!

 

Kelly

 

Aww thanks Kelly for the advice.

[Lipz]

Here's a little New York advice...

Never mind, CC would give me the boot.

At any rate, everyone here has given you great advice.

This is YOUR wedding. There is no such thing as pleasing guest. In fact if you try to please guest you might come to find out you wouldn't be getting married in the first place. There are haters in every crowd.

Have YOUR day, and screw who doesn't show.

[crys050]

Don't mind me it's been one of those days....time is rapidly approaching and now everyone wants to RSVP when the ceremony is May 4th. So I get 3 different calls today with 3 different complaints but the one that put the icing on the cake was when one of my bridesmaid(FI's cousin) calls me and tell me that my wedding will be an inconvenicece to everyone that will be attending it because we will be docked in Nassau,Bahamas and to get off the boat and come back on is not fair to them. She asked me to change the wedding location to Cococay and also asked if I could just get married while the boat was in motion(WTH):mad: !! The nerve of her! So me being the soft spoken country girl from Alabama calls the WE with her on the line and proceeds to ask about making the changes not realizing that 1 you can't get married while the boat is in the water and 2 they don't do weddings in Cococay, so then she ask the coordinator about the time and she says that they will call me 2 weeks before the ceremony like I've been telling everyone else. I did put in a request for the 9am ceremony but when I called my MI to inform her she said "who is going to eat that type of food at 9 am, that's not breakfast food and then you are having open too, you need to call them back and put in a request for 11 am." I'm at a lost now and don't know what to do! FYI...the boat will be docked from 7 am till 12 am in Nassau.

 

OH MY GOODNESS. When I read this I started to get so angry, my blood pressure went up. This is terrible. Never set aside your wants and needs because someone might be "Inconvenienced" on your wedding day. I agree with every one else. Get off the boat and stay off the boat, if you dont like it you dont have to be there. This is your day and never let anybody ruin it or stress you out!

[Denise2000]

Thanks everyone! I felt sorry for myself too that day. Haven't heard from her since that day nor do I care too. I can't believe that I even considered changing the smallest detail to accommodate her(mind u she got married at the JOP) maybe that's why she's trying to control MY WEDDING. Once again thanks everyone for your support in what has been a very stressful time for me.

[JulieRose]

I chose a Princess wedding at sea just to avoid this sort of situation where people would be "missing" a port of call. HOWEVER, the way she is acting is just unacceptable. It's none of her damn business what you do. If she didn't want to be a bridesmaid and didn't want to outwardly act as a BRIDES MAID then she shouldn't have accepted the invitation. Don't worry about her. Do what you have planned. Let her do what she wants to do and if she embarrasses herself by acting like that, let her embarrass herself. That bit isn't your problem.

[ToBeWed]

Wedding planning can be very stressful if we let it become that way. I agree with Kelly and the others that emphasize the marriage not the wedding day. I know plenty of people who had beautiful wedding days where everything went smoothly and very bumpy marriages that ended in divorce. (Not to say you can't have a beautiful day and a wonderful marriage because that is what we all hope and pray for.)

 

Overall I have found that planning my wedding has been most stressful when I have to deal with people I care about trying to add in their 2 cents......lol BUT..... from the day I became engaged and we started planning our wedding I decided that I was not going to allow the desires, opinions, and attitudes of others to influence how we decided to celebrate our love. Especially since we are paying for everything ourselves. I don't know your financial situation but I am one of those people that feel that it gives me more ammunition to do as I please when I am paying for it. I understand people are paying to come on the cruise but no one held them at gun point. Lol So...... If it is too much of an inconvenience or they don't like how things are planned they don't have to come.

 

Good luck with everything and God Bless you and your fiancé.:)