Small Destination Wedding - Large Bridal Shower??

[Collette17n]

We are having a small wedding on a cruise ship (30 ppl) even though I have a very large family back home. What are the "rules" for inviting people to a bridal party back home if they are not invited to the wedding in Florida?

Edited April 28, 2011 by Collette17n

[klauer]

Are you talking about a reception after you get back from your wedding or a bridal shower before the wedding? When I got married it was considered poor etiquette to invite people to bring a gift to a shower if they weren't invited to the wedding, but I imagine that the "rules" may be different now.

[Collette17n]

Are you talking about a reception after you get back from your wedding or a bridal shower before the wedding? When I got married it was considered poor etiquette to invite people to bring a gift to a shower if they weren't invited to the wedding, but I imagine that the "rules" may be different now.

 

I am talking about a bridal shower before the wedding. I thought that it was typically considered poor etiquette but I wasn't sure... thanks for the input!

[underthemoon53]

I invited people to my shower who aren't invite to the wedding. I see nothing wrong with it and as most of friends said they were happy to be a part of anything in the wedding. I think when it comes to a small wedding different rules are to be followed.

[lovepea]

Maybe you can word the invitation so that it is more a celebration of the wedding, versus just a bridal gift shower.

[greendragon133]

It just feels like poor taste to "ask" for gifts if people aren't attending the wedding. Not that that's what you're doing. I would definitely word it that it's more a celebration and gifts aren't necessary. Of course most people will bring a gift. I would, I love giving gifts.

 

We are having a BBQ to celebrate our wedding as soon as the weather clears up. And even then I'm wording it "no gifts".

[canucme_cruisin]

In the destination wedding setting, I don't think it's bad etiquette to invite people not attending the wedding. I invited ALL of my women friends, colleagues, associates - NOT just to give a gift, but to celebrate with me. They all knew we were getting married on a cruise and the invitation for them to cruise with us was "open" but most chose not to for personal/financial reasons, but that didn't mean they didn't want to celebrate with me (and give me a gift)!

[pinkdiamonddolly]

I believe with a destination wedding the rules are totally different, there are many people in my life that I would love to celebrate with and attend their showers, receptions and such, but attending the wedding would be problematic, I think as long as you extend the invitation and let them know the cruise is an open event you are well within the scope of good social graces. :)

[Collette17n]

I believe with a destination wedding the rules are totally different, there are many people in my life that I would love to celebrate with and attend their showers, receptions and such, but attending the wedding would be problematic, I think as long as you extend the invitation and let them know the cruise is an open event you are well within the scope of good social graces. :)

 

Do you mean inviting them to join us on the cruise, just not the wedding? I sort of feel like I don't want a TON of people to come on the cruise, because I still want it to feel like a honeymoon and I am the type of person to do what everyone else wants to do. I feel like if there are a ton of family members on the cruise we won't have any time to ourselves, you know?

 

So what if I only invite the guests who attend the wedding to come on the cruise. Is that rude to have a bridal shower here in Michigan and invite my entire family to it? :( I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. We're young and are going to be moving into our first house shortly after the wedding, so it would be awesome to have a shower. But I don't want to have one if everyone will think it's rude to be invited to bring gifts for us if they aren't invited to the wedding.... Hmmm...

[mrsgomez2011]

We are having a small wedding on a cruise ship (30 ppl) even though I have a very large family back home. What are the "rules" for inviting people to a bridal party back home if they are not invited to the wedding in Florida?

 

I'm having a bon voyage party. It's going to be for everyone who is attending, couldn't be invited, or can't make it to the wedding. It's going to be a cocktail party and wanted to make sure everyone could go since we kept our wedding to the closest friends and family. We don't care if they bring gifts off our registry.

 

I don't like the bridal shower idea and we wanted a party before hand for everyone to attend. So this is it.

[Collette17n]

I'm having a bon voyage party. It's going to be for everyone who is attending, couldn't be invited, or can't make it to the wedding. It's going to be a cocktail party and wanted to make sure everyone could go since we kept our wedding to the closest friends and family. We don't care if they bring gifts off our registry.

 

I don't like the bridal shower idea and we wanted a party before hand for everyone to attend. So this is it.

 

That's a really good idea! Are you providing the drinks? How many people are you thinking will attend?

[mrsgomez2011]

That's a really good idea! Are you providing the drinks? How many people are you thinking will attend?

 

We're having some appetiziers and a small dinner of homemade lasagna and salad. (his mom makes awesome lasagna!) We believe we'll have about 100-120 people attending (only 50 at our wedding though).

 

We are buying drinks but I have 1 friend making pitchers of mojitos and another making pitchers of sangria. We will have some wine, beer, and other liquor there but we wanted to keep it relatively simple.

 

We've kept it to 4 hours and made it in the early evening.

[6rugrats]

I am talking about a bridal shower before the wedding. I thought that it was typically considered poor etiquette but I wasn't sure... thanks for the input!

According to tranditional wedding etiquette, only guests invited to the wedding receive shower invitations. It is because a shower, by it's nature, is for receiving gifts. It would be like saying, "I want your gift, but you aren't important enough to invite to the wedding."

 

A better choice would be a reception after you get home. A reception is more of a celebration than a shower. The bon voyage party mentioned is also a good idea, again more of a celebration than a grab for gifts.

 

Of course, it's your wedding/shower and you may do as you please.

[MidAmericaGal]

Our daughter is getting married on a cruise and only invited her closet friends and pretty much immediate family so about 20 are going. We will be having a full reception upon their return so I am thinking it's ok to invite everyone invited to the reception to a shower. If you think about it I have been to tons of receptions when the couples have had an earlier, private wedding. It's the same think as that situation in my book.;)