Another Tipping Question

[crzycick]

Good for your mom! How embarrassing for her to give such an amazing gift to find out somebody is being a cheapskate at others' expense.

 

If your sister doesn't do as mom says, I'd be happy to fill in on the next family cruise ;-) There's only 2 of us, we'd be so much cheaper and we understand the importance of paying for the service we receive. We have a very limited income, he's in the military and I'm unable to work, and we scrimp and save to take the absolute cheapest cruise we can. We do not however skimp on the tips and usually give extra because it was well earned.

[bplazo]

I am so happy that you were a "tattletale". I just love your mom.

[H82seaUgo]

She wasn't planning on tipping in cash, just adjusting the daily amount for the kids to 50% or maybe 75% of the original $11.50 per day. Originally she was going to remove the daily charge for the 2 younger kids completely, then after me and my other sister got on her case, said she would tip 50% or 75% for them (although we think she is lying about that).

 

I think I may have finally taken care of the issue by doing what I should have done to begin with. I did what any mature adult would do. I told my mom on her. My mom was pissed to hear my sister would screw over those hard-working employees, especially since that is the only part of the trip she has to pay for.

 

My mom called my sister and yelled at her. Told her she better pay the full $11.50 a day for all 6 of them. My sister complained to my mom saying it was too much money (even though both she and her husband have decent jobs). Of course my mom didn't want to hear that as my parents are paying the cruise fare, airfare, and excursion costs for 14 people.

 

My mom is now making my sister show her the final S&S bill that shows the full tip for all 6 of them, and the credit card statement to match it. If my sister removed any of the tips, that is the last cruise she and her family will get paid for!

 

wild applause!

[Lisl123]

Removing tips just because someone is the 3rd person seems strange logic to me. I've never seen that written anywhere on a cruise website that only the first two receive any service...gosh, think about it on NCL...if you booked the Garden Villa (which sleeps 8) you'd save a bundle for only tipping for the first 2 and stiffing for the other 6.

 

As far as envelopes go, it's very easy to pack a small stack of blank cards and envelopes for the purpose stated. I've done it many times and they are appreciated...but something tells me they appreciate the money a tad more. While in the Garden Villa, of course we left the tips as-is, but then in the cards we put several hundreds in each (butler, concierge, steward). That's the kind of card I bet they really love. :)

 

I am talking about a balcony room with 2 twin beds and sofa - not a Garden Villa. One of us is sleeping on a couch - and not a pull out.

 

I meant doing away with automatic gratuities ... having it be an option you can select as opposed to something you have to retract ... that way if you choose to pay cash, throughout the trip to various employees who make your stay awesome, you do not look like an ogre or a cheapskate ... which, I am not. I give more than the three gratuities for my cabin - but I cannot afford to give all of those plus the cash tips I like to give to improve my service during my stay. To illustrate ... my cabin steard received $100 in CASH tips between my mom and I on our last seven day sailing - PLUS whatever amount he received from two auto gratuities ... I would guess that between my mom and I we also tipped that much or more to servers in bars and restaurants, since we often dined alone and tipped separately. With the child care tip added ($45 - he was there 3 times for 4 hours total) ... they received FAR more than my child's $11.50 per day.

 

So please don't insult me by saying I am cheap or stiffing the crew ... I am doing the opposite. Especially since I usually require far less service than the people I see whining at the purser's desk morning, noon and night while we are off to trivia and tea.

[Lisl123]

She wasn't planning on tipping in cash, just adjusting the daily amount for the kids to 50% or maybe 75% of the original $11.50 per day. Originally she was going to remove the daily charge for the 2 younger kids completely, then after me and my other sister got on her case, said she would tip 50% or 75% for them (although we think she is lying about that).

 

I think I may have finally taken care of the issue by doing what I should have done to begin with. I did what any mature adult would do. I told my mom on her. My mom was pissed to hear my sister would screw over those hard-working employees, especially since that is the only part of the trip she has to pay for.

 

My mom called my sister and yelled at her. Told her she better pay the full $11.50 a day for all 6 of them. My sister complained to my mom saying it was too much money (even though both she and her husband have decent jobs). Of course my mom didn't want to hear that as my parents are paying the cruise fare, airfare, and excursion costs for 14 people.

 

My mom is now making my sister show her the final S&S bill that shows the full tip for all 6 of them, and the credit card statement to match it. If my sister removed any of the tips, that is the last cruise she and her family will get paid for!

 

Good for your mom - If my parents would pay for my cruise (usually the other way around in my case!) I would not only tip the full auto gratuities, but be free with the cash as well ... If you can't even afford tips when there is no airfare or cruisefare involved, I agree - don't go. I have a sneaking suspicion that being able to afford it was not the issue here though ...

[teamkern]

We are doing anytime dining for the first time and usually only go into the dining room 3-4 nights of the 8 days as we will visit the steakhouse twice and be lazy another evening or two and hit the buffet. What is the best way to make sure those who have served us on those evenings get what they deserve for their hard work? If we tip directly after the meal do they have to split up between others?

 

I also think going to the mother was fabulous. I am sure the sister will no longer complain...hopefully.

[dynozone84]

If you cant afford the tips don't go on the cruise. Changing them for bad service is one thing, but just being cheap is another. A cruise is a luxury not a necessity, if you cant pay the tips stay home.Just like you aren't forced to have 6 kids you aren't forced to go on an 8 day cruise and have people wait on you

[luvtheships]

our family of 6 will incur about $800 in tips for our next cruise.....

 

I am not at all happy about how much that comes to..but before anyone starts...I will not be removing anything...

 

however...in defense of larger families...when we go to a hotel...I leave $10 per night..that's it...I do not count up how many we are and then tip per person...

 

When we go to a restaurant...I leave 20% of the pretax bill.....I do not care what that works out to per head....

 

but in the case of a cruise.....face it...and don't be afraid to admit it......and regardless of what you think..OR how much the crew deserves the tips.....or how many meals you eat..in the MDR OR the buffet..OR the speciality restaurants...

 

the tips for a cruise....per person...per day...are definitely more than any reasonable family would be leaving for their hotel maid or waiter...at a land based vacation spot...

 

 

so for our next cruise...I am not leaving anything extra...no extra for the MDR...no extra for the steward.....

 

because as I said.....the suggested:rolleyes: cruise tips per person per day on a c ruise...are more than a land based vacation...

 

but...it is still only a room...and it is still only a meal......so please don't argue about the "poor overworked crew":rolleyes:

 

my $800 is more than sufficient!

 

As for the OP's sister.....I would suggest that she come up with a tip amount that she is comfortable with and then reduce the autotips down to that amount...

 

and fwiw...I hope that Guest Services asks her why she is doing this...because if they asked me.....I would say because the tips are somewhat unrealistic.

 

Please don't go into the breakdown of tips.....because there is no argument that $550 for her family is a lot of money.....

[luvtheships]

She wasn't planning on tipping in cash, just adjusting the daily amount for the kids to 50% or maybe 75% of the original $11.50 per day. Originally she was going to remove the daily charge for the 2 younger kids completely, then after me and my other sister got on her case, said she would tip 50% or 75% for them (although we think she is lying about that).

 

I think I may have finally taken care of the issue by doing what I should have done to begin with. I did what any mature adult would do. I told my mom on her. My mom was pissed to hear my sister would screw over those hard-working employees, especially since that is the only part of the trip she has to pay for.

 

My mom called my sister and yelled at her. Told her she better pay the full $11.50 a day for all 6 of them. My sister complained to my mom saying it was too much money (even though both she and her husband have decent jobs). Of course my mom didn't want to hear that as my parents are paying the cruise fare, airfare, and excursion costs for 14 people.

 

My mom is now making my sister show her the final S&S bill that shows the full tip for all 6 of them, and the credit card statement to match it. If my sister removed any of the tips, that is the last cruise she and her family will get paid for!

well at least your sister knows to keep her business between her and her DH from now on!

 

 

As a mom to many daughters.....I am appaled at the mother...and go ahead flame away...but for the mother to be able to afford to pay for 14 people and then threaten her DD like that just shows me that the mom is part of the problem and has probably pitted sister to sister for many years........

 

If I were paying this much and one of my DD's felt they couldn't afford to pay $550 in order to get the "gift":rolleyes: I was giving her....I would say OK...I understand and ask how much she could pay and then I would cover the rest....

 

How selfish to tell this DD that if she can't cough up the money it will be the last time she pays for her...

 

This whole thing should have:

1. Been discussed mom to DD...and leave the sister out of it

 

2. a better idea...the sister should have just kept her mouth shut and reduced the tips on the QT

 

methinks the sisters in this family have a bit of competition going on...among a number of other things I am sure...:rolleyes:

[luvtheships]

If you cant afford the tips don't go on the cruise. Changing them for bad service is one thing, but just being cheap is another. A cruise is a luxury not a necessity, if you cant pay the tips stay home.Just like you aren't forced to have 6 kids you aren't forced to go on an 8 day cruise and have people wait on you

the cruise was a gift from the mother...

 

so in order to get this gift...the giftees have to shell out hundreds of dollars in tips...

 

the mom should be paying the tips for this so called Gift...

 

seriously..it is a very nice thing...but to have to pay for a gift is absurd...

 

it is like someone giving you a 1 year membership to a health club...but only paying the first month.....

[cruzinlisa]

I can see why it seems like a lot, because regardless of how you break it down, it seems like a big lump sum of money. I am one of those that would prefer it be built into the the price of the cruise and then leave over and above. But its not that way, so tips have to be paid. My dd is under 2, so apparently tips won't be added for her. If they were, I would just pay them and not remove them for her because we do plan on ordering food for her and she can be messy. Assuming they are not added on, I will tip extra. I don't know that I will tip the full $11.50 per day, but maybe I will. I don't know yet.

[H82seaUgo]

our family of 6 will incur about $800 in tips for our next cruise.....

 

I am not at all happy about how much that comes to..but before anyone starts...I will not be removing anything...

 

however...in defense of larger families...when we go to a hotel...I leave $10 per night..that's it...I do not count up how many we are and then tip per person...

 

When we go to a restaurant...I leave 20% of the pretax bill.....I do not care what that works out to per head....

 

but in the case of a cruise.....face it...and don't be afraid to admit it......and regardless of what you think..OR how much the crew deserves the tips.....or how many meals you eat..in the MDR OR the buffet..OR the speciality restaurants...

 

the tips for a cruise....per person...per day...are definitely more than any reasonable family would be leaving for their hotel maid or waiter...at a land based vacation spot...

 

 

so for our next cruise...I am not leaving anything extra...no extra for the MDR...no extra for the steward.....

 

because as I said.....the suggested:rolleyes: cruise tips per person per day on a c ruise...are more than a land based vacation...

 

but...it is still only a room...and it is still only a meal......so please don't argue about the "poor overworked crew":rolleyes:

 

my $800 is more than sufficient!

 

As for the OP's sister.....I would suggest that she come up with a tip amount that she is comfortable with and then reduce the autotips down to that amount...

 

and fwiw...I hope that Guest Services asks her why she is doing this...because if they asked me.....I would say because the tips are somewhat unrealistic.

 

Please don't go into the breakdown of tips.....because there is no argument that $550 for her family is a lot of money.....

 

if i had a larger family, i would definitely be adjusting the room steward portion of the tips. no matter what they are doing, a family of five paying 17.50 a day is a lot. but i would also wait to see what living in a room of 5 is like!

 

in the meantime, the point is moot.

[bplazo]

If I paid for a cruise for my daughter and her family with the condition that they pay the tips then they better pay the full amount and not be cheap. Pay for your children because the crew are not nice to them because they like them.

[cherbear4000]

Whoa! I don't see why people are insulting my family now. I now feel compelled to explain the situation better. We started doing the annual family cruise about 20 years ago. This is when us 5 siblings were younger, not married yet. My parents did pay for the tipping (back in the days of the cash envelopes). As we have gotten older, married, some us of (not me yet) having children, we siblings continue to ask that we still go on the family cruise. My parents are still gracious enough to pay. Not only do they pay for us, they pay for our spouses and children.

 

Because we all have good jobs and us siblings range in age from 29 to 47, my parents decided a few year ago, that if we still wanted to go every year, we should pay some of the cost. They deciced that we are responsible for our daily service charge and bar tab. That's it. We all agreed to this arrangement as we all felt this is more than fair.

 

I am in charge of planning the cruise each year. I sent an email to everyone going that the new service charge is $11.50 so there would be no surprises. My sister replied about how she was going to remove them for the kids. We were going back and forth about it on email. I felt my sister was wrong for wanting to remove them. If she couldn't afford them, I never would have said anything about it to her. She can afford it. That is not the issue.

 

I think my mom has every right to make sure my sister pays the tips. We all agreed we would pay our own years ago. My sister was just being selfish and my mom called her on it. My mom never would have done it if my sister couldn't afford the cost. When my brother lost his job, my parents paid the tips for his family.

[luddite]

Whoa! I don't see why people are insulting my family now. I now feel compelled to explain the situation better. We started doing the annual family cruise about 20 years ago. This is when us 5 siblings were younger, not married yet. My parents did pay for the tipping (back in the days of the cash envelopes). As we have gotten older, married, some us of (not me yet) having children, we siblings continue to ask that we still go on the family cruise. My parents are still gracious enough to pay. Not only do they pay for us, they pay for our spouses and children.

 

Because we all have good jobs and us siblings range in age from 29 to 47, my parents decided a few year ago, that if we still wanted to go every year, we should pay some of the cost. They deciced that we are responsible for our daily service charge and bar tab. That's it. We all agreed to this arrangement as we all felt this is more than fair.

 

I am in charge of planning the cruise each year. I sent an email to everyone going that the new service charge is $11.50 so there would be no surprises. My sister replied about how she was going to remove them for the kids. We were going back and forth about it on email. I felt my sister was wrong for wanting to remove them. If she couldn't afford them, I never would have said anything about it to her. She can afford it. That is not the issue.

 

I think my mom has every right to make sure my sister pays the tips. We all agreed we would pay our own years ago. My sister was just being selfish and my mom called her on it. My mom never would have done it if my sister couldn't afford the cost. When my brother lost his job, my parents paid the tips for his family.

 

I note that you call it a service charge and not tips. Which is correct thinking. Once you quit calling them tips and realize that it's how the crew gets paid there is no problem nor question about the need to pay the service charge. For every passenger.

[jdvmd]

Whoa! I don't see why people are insulting my family now. I now feel compelled to explain the situation better. We started doing the annual family cruise about 20 years ago. This is when us 5 siblings were younger, not married yet. My parents did pay for the tipping (back in the days of the cash envelopes). As we have gotten older, married, some us of (not me yet) having children, we siblings continue to ask that we still go on the family cruise. My parents are still gracious enough to pay. Not only do they pay for us, they pay for our spouses and children.

 

Because we all have good jobs and us siblings range in age from 29 to 47, my parents decided a few year ago, that if we still wanted to go every year, we should pay some of the cost. They deciced that we are responsible for our daily service charge and bar tab. That's it. We all agreed to this arrangement as we all felt this is more than fair.

 

I am in charge of planning the cruise each year. I sent an email to everyone going that the new service charge is $11.50 so there would be no surprises. My sister replied about how she was going to remove them for the kids. We were going back and forth about it on email. I felt my sister was wrong for wanting to remove them. If she couldn't afford them, I never would have said anything about it to her. She can afford it. That is not the issue.

 

I think my mom has every right to make sure my sister pays the tips. We all agreed we would pay our own years ago. My sister was just being selfish and my mom called her on it. My mom never would have done it if my sister couldn't afford the cost. When my brother lost his job, my parents paid the tips for his family.

 

I think your parents are incredibly generous. I can't believe some of the comments especially the one likening the cruise to paying one month at a fitness center and that your parents should be paying the tips because it isn't a real gift. I also can't believe the attack on you and your siblings relationships.

I hope it all works out the way it should and everyone can have a wonderful time on the cruise.

[AKCoachie]

we recently cruised on Magic. Switched room occupants on embarkation. Parents were two doors down from kids. Our room steward was great. We got 5 towel animals and 5 mints every night, pull- down bed was put away for DD every morning, kids mini-bar was emptied, both ice buckets were kept full, both rooms, and bathrooms, spotless. MDR staff was great. We were served right away, after first night, fruit plate was brought to DD right away. Service couldn't have been more pleasant. We are not financially "rich" people, $66.x5=330 in tips + $1 per person for room service was well earned and well worth it to us. Just (MHO), I would hope others feel the same way, for the sake of the great service crews who work so hard so that everyone has a great vacation.:D

[skylock]

Jesus, with a sister like the OP who needs enemies?

 

It is none of your business how your sister handles her tips. NONE. It is also none of your parents business how she handles her tips. If you and your parents feel the full $11.50 per person per day should be paid and she doesn't, then you pay it.

 

I can't even imagine being given a gift with strings attached.

 

I am sure you feel so proud of yourself for "tattling" on your sister. I think you need to grow up and start minding your own business. In fact, if you were my sister, you would probably be limping about now. Not only did you tattle to mommy on a grown woman with 4 children on something that is not your business, but then you come on here and "tattle" again. Absolutely amazing. Am I picking up some jealousy towards your sister or is it something else.

 

I bet this message does not get read to sister.

 

Personally I would lop off at least two of the kids tips, then adjust as needed as decided by ME.

[cherbear4000]

Jesus, with a sister like the OP who needs enemies?

 

It is none of your business how your sister handles her tips. NONE. It is also none of your parents business how she handles her tips. If you and your parents feel the full $11.50 per person per day should be paid and she doesn't, then you pay it.

 

I can't even imagine being given a gift with strings attached.

 

I am sure you feel so proud of yourself for "tattling" on your sister. I think you need to grow up and start minding your own business. In fact, if you were my sister, you would probably be limping about now. Not only did you tattle to mommy on a grown woman with 4 children on something that is not your business, but then you come on here and "tattle" again. Absolutely amazing. Am I picking up some jealousy towards your sister or is it something else.

 

I bet this message does not get read to sister.

 

Personally I would lop off at least two of the kids tips, then adjust as needed as decided by ME.

 

Wow! I told my mom about it because I knew that my mom would want to know if one of her children that was getting an expensive vacation for basically nothing was refusing to pay the one thing she was supposed to. How that makes me jealous I don't know.

 

I also told my mom because I am sticking up for the cruise employees her selfishness would be screwing over. They work 7 days a week with no day off for months on end, half way around the world from their families. They work so hard to make our cruise as enjoyable as possible. Imagine what it would be like to spend day after day catering to us passengers. I understand that no one makes them work on a cruise ship, but at the same time, I understand they do it to be able to support their families.

 

My siblings and I are extremely lucky to be able to grow up the way we did. My sister's attitude made me angry. My sister and I get along great. Even now, we are not fighting at all. She's not mad I told my mom that she was planning to remove the tipping. I think she knows she was in the wrong. We all know that by going on this trip paid for by my parents, that my parents expect we pay the full service charge.

[bplazo]

Jesus, with a sister like the OP who needs enemies?

 

It is none of your business how your sister handles her tips. NONE. It is also none of your parents business how she handles her tips. If you and your parents feel the full $11.50 per person per day should be paid and she doesn't, then you pay it.

 

I can't even imagine being given a gift with strings attached.

 

I am sure you feel so proud of yourself for "tattling" on your sister. I think you need to grow up and start minding your own business. In fact, if you were my sister, you would probably be limping about now. Not only did you tattle to mommy on a grown woman with 4 children on something that is not your business, but then you come on here and "tattle" again. Absolutely amazing. Am I picking up some jealousy towards your sister or is it something else.

 

I bet this message does not get read to sister.

 

 

 

Personally I would lop off at least two of the kids tips, then adjust as needed as decided by ME.

 

You are just unbelivable. The mom and the sister did the right thing in regards to making sure that the crew gets paid. It is so amusing how you poor tippers stick up for each other.

 

Thank goodness there are some good people in this world.

 

Thank you, OP for doing the right thing.

[skylock]

Wow! I told my mom about it because I knew that my mom would want to know if one of her children that was getting an expensive vacation for basically nothing was refusing to pay the one thing she was supposed to. How that makes me jealous I don't know.

 

I also told my mom because I am sticking up for the cruise employees her selfishness would be screwing over. They work 7 days a week with no day off for months on end, half way around the world from their families. They work so hard to make our cruise as enjoyable as possible. Imagine what it would be like to spend day after day catering to us passengers. I understand that no one makes them work on a cruise ship, but at the same time, I understand they do it to be able to support their families.

 

My siblings and I are extremely lucky to be able to grow up the way we did. My sister's attitude made me angry. My sister and I get along great. Even now, we are not fighting at all. She's not mad I told my mom that she was planning to remove the tipping. I think she knows she was in the wrong. We all know that by going on this trip paid for by my parents, that my parents expect we pay the full service charge.

 

Again, not your business what your sister tips. PERIOD.

 

If I was your sister, you could not drag me on that boat with you.

[mikel24m]

Jesus, with a sister like the OP who needs enemies?

 

It is none of your business how your sister handles her tips. NONE. It is also none of your parents business how she handles her tips. If you and your parents feel the full $11.50 per person per day should be paid and she doesn't, then you pay it.

 

I can't even imagine being given a gift with strings attached.

 

I am sure you feel so proud of yourself for "tattling" on your sister. I think you need to grow up and start minding your own business. In fact, if you were my sister, you would probably be limping about now. Not only did you tattle to mommy on a grown woman with 4 children on something that is not your business, but then you come on here and "tattle" again. Absolutely amazing. Am I picking up some jealousy towards your sister or is it something else.

 

I bet this message does not get read to sister.

 

Personally I would lop off at least two of the kids tips, then adjust as needed as decided by ME.

 

This post shows alot about your character as a person(thank god im not one of your siblings i would not like to be beat up or limping for opening my mouth). people like you should just go camping

[bplazo]

This post shows alot about your character as a person(thank god im not one of your siblings i would not like to be beat up or limping for opening my mouth). people like you should just go camping

 

Like

[skylock]

You are just unbelivable. The mom and the sister did the right thing in regards to making sure that the crew gets paid. It is so amusing how you poor tippers stick up for each other.

 

Thank goodness there are some good people in this world.

 

Thank you, OP for doing the right thing.

 

Speaking of unbelievable. Who said I was a poor tipper? What I tip is my business and most assuredly not yours.

 

And I will point out to you once again, I do not pay the crew, because I do not employ them. I thank them with a tip when they do that job and I decide what that amount will be.

[cdamion]

Jesus, with a sister like the OP who needs enemies?

 

It is none of your business how your sister handles her tips. NONE. It is also none of your parents business how she handles her tips. If you and your parents feel the full $11.50 per person per day should be paid and she doesn't, then you pay it.

 

I can't even imagine being given a gift with strings attached.

 

I am sure you feel so proud of yourself for "tattling" on your sister. I think you need to grow up and start minding your own business. In fact, if you were my sister, you would probably be limping about now. Not only did you tattle to mommy on a grown woman with 4 children on something that is not your business, but then you come on here and "tattle" again. Absolutely amazing. Am I picking up some jealousy towards your sister or is it something else.

 

I bet this message does not get read to sister.

 

Personally I would lop off at least two of the kids tips, then adjust as needed as decided by ME.

 

Everyone, meet the sister.