keeping kids safe on the ship..

[mnh]

On our first Oasis cruise they had the Iphones with the built in GPS.....really loved that....you could keep better track of where they were.....the 2nd Oasis cruise they were no longer available, however we rented a Dect phone from the purser's desk.

 

I think Oasis and Allure are the only ships with the phones and they are limited. I wish all the ships had the phones, I would gladly pay for the rental. It has been a while but I think the phones were $50 each for the week. I also heard that there was a $1000 fee if the phones were lost (not confirmed)......but you know my peace of mind for the safety of my grands does not have a cost!

[jlrn366419]

Love the tobasco in the beverage idea. I need to start a notebook for parenting tips like this!

[praline3001]

Love the tobasco in the beverage idea. I need to start a notebook for parenting tips like this!

 

It is a real eye opener for a 16 year old (or 17 ..18..19...) girl. They can see how fast something can be slipped in their drink.

Has a bit of "they won't forget that one anytime soon" humor as well.

 

For my daughter (who is only 11) I started a bit of a chant with her.

"Out of site. Down the drain" Its a more fun way of teaching her now about keeping safe especially when she gets older and goes off to college.

 

I don't go into detail WHY exactly .. I usually say something silly like, "Knowing your brothers they might have peed in your glass!"

HA HA

[crusingmantenthousand]

I am all about showing rather then telling ...like I said, teens do not listen to lectures.

 

I had a friend with a 16 year old daughter who showed her how fast this could happen. She slipped a half a bottle of Tabasco sauce in her can of coke she left on the counter in their house :p

The lesson sunk in pretty quickly ;)

 

That's brilliant! Although, I think one fourth, or even just one tenth of a bottle of Tabasco sauce would have been enough! :eek:

 

The other thing (if you have more than one kid on the trip) is very simple, Kids always move in groups. Make sure that, if the kids aren't under adult supervision that they're always with a sibling/s or friend/s, there is safety in numbers and if they stay together at least in pairs the chances of something bad happening to them is far smaller. Assign cruise "partners" someone (even another kid) who each kid has to stay with whenever they go out, that way no kids are ever all by themselves.

[notentirelynormal]

This is a "keep it positive" thread of empowering parents and kids and not a tattle tail thread or complaints thread :D It is also not a "My brother's wife's uncle's cousin had this happen to her..." thread lol

 

For you wanting to keep this a positive thread a lot of your posts are pretty doom and gloom ones. Stories about all the drunks, people falling over board, rapes... sheesh. I thought you wanted ideas for ways to make kids aware and keeping them safe, not just telling the same old horror stories that we are all aware of. The stories you are relating are also not first hand (like you requested) but stories from your brother's wife's uncle's cousin.... aren't they?

[praline3001]

For you wanting to keep this a positive thread a lot of your posts are pretty doom and gloom ones. Stories about all the drunks, people falling over board, rapes... sheesh. I thought you wanted ideas for ways to make kids aware and keeping them safe, not just telling the same old horror stories that we are all aware of. The stories you are relating are also not first hand (like you requested) but stories from your brother's wife's uncle's cousin.... aren't they?

 

My people falling over post was in response to a mom giving her kids the fear of God talk about her boys climbing over the rails. It was a concern of hers to scare them enough so they don't climb the rail. I was giving her more ammunition to scare them with as I know how young boys are. It was a story that was shown on 20/20 very recently.

 

I have not related any stories on here as not first hand. 20/20 does have a report about cruise safety. You can find it on google. The guy charged for having sex with a 14 year old is all over the news this week. I posted a link here when I saw the article as the thread moved more towards keeping teen girls safe ... not just on cruises but in general.

 

I don't see where I told a horror story anywhere on this thread. Granted other posters have but I didn't.

[chipmaster]

My 2cents is everyone has to have some balance in prospective.

 

Our kids not given some freedom and choice what will happen when they go to school away in a few years. There between college parties and such I think you will really go crazy.

 

As to ship, I treat it like I treat sending my kids to the mall, the movies, or a friends party. Hopefully over the past decade you've taught them well and they've gotten real world survival skills. If not, well god help you!

[notentirelynormal]

TO PRALINE 3001

These are all comments you have made. I don’t see how these are positive ways to help anyone. Whether it was on the news or not – you have brought up several incidents and little to find a solution that isn’t obvious. You seem to think that the entire ship is just one big drunk fest. While drinking is certainly going on, not everyone that drinks is a pervert or out to hurt children.

 

Your teen girl is in the Teen dance club and during the week has become friends with a young man her age. He asks her to come back to his stateroom with him so he can grab something and he doesn't want to go alone....

So teen girl checks her brain at the door and follows her friend to the stateroom. There she is grabbed, pulled in, doors locked and finds an adult man waiting for her, along with her new "friend". She is assaulted.

 

 

So this is where you teach your children not to go off with strangers.

 

 

Another thing is how your teen girl dresses. I never blame the victim's outfit on an assault. However there is a huge correlation that can't be ignored. So really you ARE blaming the way the teen girl dresses. Do you let your teen daughter wear those cute string bikinis on a cruise? I did it when I was a teen... many moons ago lol so why not my daughter? Let her have fun... right?

 

WRONG! Beaches, pools, stuff back home its fine. On a cruise with 5,000 total strangers many of them drinking heavily its not okay. Many teen girls don't know how to handle an unwanted creepy advance from a man... even if its a casual "brush up against" cop a feel. Teen girls+bikinis+drunks = trouble no matter how you look at it.

 

 

Where do you get that it’s okay to wear skimpy clothes at the beach but if they do it on a ship some drunk will automatically assault a teen girl? Do your kids know everyone at the beach or are they strangers?

 

Also, staff isn't perfect. There have been many cases of 21 year old staff members involved with 16 year old girls on ships.

 

 

Can you back up this statement?

 

I watched a 20/20 special on cruise safety. Here is a ring dinger of a number to scare those adventurous boys with...

 

in 2011 22 people fell over board on cruise ships. Out of those 22 only 2 survived and one of them was a special forces guy who swam for 16 hours before being rescued. Two others were found dead and the rest were never found.

 

How exactly is this a helpful hint to help teach kids, or a positive comment? Scaring children does not teach them a thing, except to be afraid. How about talking to them about the pitfalls of horsing around on deck and the consequences of their actions. Educating your kids is a much more useful tool.

 

On cruise ships the alcohol is ever flowing. Many people go for the "booze cruise" aspect of cruising. You family may not be binge boozers but at least 1/2 the ship will have gotten AT LEAST tipsy once on the ship. For many they will be flat out drunk. LOL

 

So, someone had a drink! Wow! How exactly is this your business or concern?

 

This takes common sense out the window for those who over drink.

Does this mean your 5 year old daughter will get hit on, groped or something like that? I am sure not!

 

If your 16 year old daughter is in a bikini lounging on a chair near the bar area however the line starts getting a little fuzzy for the drunks....Your daughter has a right to lay in the sun in a chair and not be bothered ... however we all know how well this works with drunks

 

Clearly you have a problem with people that drink and think because alcohol is involved all morals go out the door. While you are entitled to your opinion, I don’t think because you are tipsy that you suddenly become a danger to society and suddenly get an urge to molest children or anyone else for that matter.

 

 

There is another news story just today about an employee of RC having sex with a 14 year old girl. He is now facing 15 year prison term (he plead guilty). Could this happen anywhere? Sure.. Its just important enough to bring to our teenager's attention that things do happen on cruise ships and places where alcohol is flowing.

 

What this thread is about are ways we can teach our kids ..or give them a refresher course.. on staying safe while on board. This is a "keep it positive" thread of empowering parents and kids and not a tattle tail thread or complaints thread.

 

 

So I respectively disagree with you that you are being positive and offering how to teach your kids. You are mostly complaining about drinking and how you view it. How is bringing up all these stories in the way you have giving parents advise on how to keep kids safe. Kids and parents aren’t going to change because they are on a cruise. Teaching them all the basics should have been done long before they were left alone on a cruise ship.

[praline3001]

I have no issue with alcohol. My hubby and I drink on cruises.

 

The guy who posted before me mentioned the fact that some 12 year olds look like adults. I am sure most parents would agree that a 16 year old girl in a sting bikini hanging out next to the bar pool is not a good idea.. no matter where that bar pool is.

I never called anyone a pervert for hitting on or flirting with an underage girl. The guy poster was right when he said it is hard to tell age at times when sober.

 

Can you back up this statement?

 

If you read the news link I had posted which you brought to my attention as being a doom and gloom post, that is what happened with the guy who is now pleading guilty and will go to jail. He befriended the 14 year old and they wrote notes back and forth to each other for the trip.

 

 

I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I was just thought it would be a good idea to share thoughts and ideas on how to keep kids safe from all kinds of things on a cruise.

[gigi1313]

TO PRALINE 3001

These are all comments you have made. I don’t see how these are positive ways to help anyone. Whether it was on the news or not – you have brought up several incidents and little to find a solution that isn’t obvious. You seem to think that the entire ship is just one big drunk fest. While drinking is certainly going on, not everyone that drinks is a pervert or out to hurt children.

 

Your teen girl is in the Teen dance club and during the week has become friends with a young man her age. He asks her to come back to his stateroom with him so he can grab something and he doesn't want to go alone....

So teen girl checks her brain at the door and follows her friend to the stateroom. There she is grabbed, pulled in, doors locked and finds an adult man waiting for her, along with her new "friend". She is assaulted.

 

 

So this is where you teach your children not to go off with strangers.

 

 

Another thing is how your teen girl dresses. I never blame the victim's outfit on an assault. However there is a huge correlation that can't be ignored. So really you ARE blaming the way the teen girl dresses. Do you let your teen daughter wear those cute string bikinis on a cruise? I did it when I was a teen... many moons ago lol so why not my daughter? Let her have fun... right?

 

WRONG! Beaches, pools, stuff back home its fine. On a cruise with 5,000 total strangers many of them drinking heavily its not okay. Many teen girls don't know how to handle an unwanted creepy advance from a man... even if its a casual "brush up against" cop a feel. Teen girls+bikinis+drunks = trouble no matter how you look at it.

 

 

Where do you get that it’s okay to wear skimpy clothes at the beach but if they do it on a ship some drunk will automatically assault a teen girl? Do your kids know everyone at the beach or are they strangers?

 

Also, staff isn't perfect. There have been many cases of 21 year old staff members involved with 16 year old girls on ships.

 

 

Can you back up this statement?

 

I watched a 20/20 special on cruise safety. Here is a ring dinger of a number to scare those adventurous boys with...

 

in 2011 22 people fell over board on cruise ships. Out of those 22 only 2 survived and one of them was a special forces guy who swam for 16 hours before being rescued. Two others were found dead and the rest were never found.

 

How exactly is this a helpful hint to help teach kids, or a positive comment? Scaring children does not teach them a thing, except to be afraid. How about talking to them about the pitfalls of horsing around on deck and the consequences of their actions. Educating your kids is a much more useful tool.

 

On cruise ships the alcohol is ever flowing. Many people go for the "booze cruise" aspect of cruising. You family may not be binge boozers but at least 1/2 the ship will have gotten AT LEAST tipsy once on the ship. For many they will be flat out drunk. LOL

 

So, someone had a drink! Wow! How exactly is this your business or concern?

 

This takes common sense out the window for those who over drink.

Does this mean your 5 year old daughter will get hit on, groped or something like that? I am sure not!

 

If your 16 year old daughter is in a bikini lounging on a chair near the bar area however the line starts getting a little fuzzy for the drunks....Your daughter has a right to lay in the sun in a chair and not be bothered ... however we all know how well this works with drunks

 

Clearly you have a problem with people that drink and think because alcohol is involved all morals go out the door. While you are entitled to your opinion, I don’t think because you are tipsy that you suddenly become a danger to society and suddenly get an urge to molest children or anyone else for that matter.

 

 

There is another news story just today about an employee of RC having sex with a 14 year old girl. He is now facing 15 year prison term (he plead guilty). Could this happen anywhere? Sure.. Its just important enough to bring to our teenager's attention that things do happen on cruise ships and places where alcohol is flowing.

 

What this thread is about are ways we can teach our kids ..or give them a refresher course.. on staying safe while on board. This is a "keep it positive" thread of empowering parents and kids and not a tattle tail thread or complaints thread.

 

 

So I respectively disagree with you that you are being positive and offering how to teach your kids. You are mostly complaining about drinking and how you view it. How is bringing up all these stories in the way you have giving parents advise on how to keep kids safe. Kids and parents aren’t going to change because they are on a cruise. Teaching them all the basics should have been done long before they were left alone on a cruise ship.

 

BIG DITTO!! You wrote everything I was thinking!

[angelndscz]

I am a sexual assualt victims advocate for the military. Things happen no matter how careful you are. The best solution is the buddy system, the trick is to pick a buddy who you can trust not to leave you in any bad situations.

 

My daughter is very independent. Now I am very thankful she was not my first kid, but my 4th after 3 sons. :p

 

I found out last month that my husband has started allowing her to wander around the hotels that they stay in almost monthly.... with her group of besties. I am not 100% happy about it as she just turned 9 last weekend. However, I do know the girls and parents of the other girls she is spending time with and these girls are not going to leave each other's side. A few "new" moms to the cheer gym were very concerned about the girls they saw walking without parents, but my husband was comfortable with her going to different parts of the hotel (other girls room mainly) in her group of friends. She is never alone at anytime or anywhere, she also has her own cell phone. Her group of besties that I am referring to from her cheer gyms are also 1-4 years older than her. The girls are told to stay together. We always book hotels with the other parents but the rooms are not always on the same floor. We have 9 competitions a season and about half require hotel stays.

 

I have already stated I do not plan on using the kids club (unless she asks, which I doubt she does). I am sure my kids will stay in the cluster with their siblings and our BFF kids that they we always vacation with. The 14 year old with us is also a girl. The 19, 18, 18, and 10 year old are boys and are very protective of the girls. My 19 and 18 year old are use to keeping an eye on the little ones, they take them to the mall, movies, and restuarants with them already without us parents. The younger ones have never been kids to wander away from anyone. I tell them to stick to our side or a brother's side and they will stay within 2-3 feet of them without fail. I don't allow them to go to the bathroom by themselves. A brother has to go with the younger ones. For the girl, they have to stand at the door.

 

My oldest son will be 20 this summer. He went to Miami two weeks ago with his friends. DH sat down and talked to him as well just as if he was a girl about not taking open drinks, leaving drinks, etc. Boys can be victims just like girls.

[notentirelynormal]

Now your post was useful. I have to admit at first I thought 9 was pretty young (and let's face it, it is) and then I looked at the way you have raised her. The values you have instilled are what will protect her. Like manners, you start when they are young and they know as they get older.

 

I am a very protective mother. I remember when my daughter was younger (many moons ago) and we were in a Pizza Hut. Except for our table, there was only one other table occupied. It was a group of kids around 10 years old that were left there for hours. I was horrified. The parents weren't in the restaurant at all. My daughter looks at me and says "mom, just be quiet, you can't stop the parents from letting them come here alone". I had to let it go but I know my kids would never be allowed in a restaurant by themselves for hours at that age.

 

Now on the cruise, they were given some latitude. We were cruising long before they had kid's clubs on much smaller ships. She did a lot of hanging out in the restaurants learning how to fold napkins as that was about the only organized event they had. The crew was pretty protective of the kids back then and we have remained friends with some of them for over 25 years. That does not mean we let them out and about on their own. We knew where they were at all times. My rule was you can go where you want but if I come looking for you and you're not there - watch out.

 

I once took my 18 YO niece on a cruise with us. The first night out I went looking for them at the disco where they said they would be. My DD says, she met a group of boys and they went up on deck. Ummm, not where she was supposed to be. I found her and let her know that we weren't in Kansas any more and she could not do that. She was very naive and but she got the message. After that it was the buddy system all the way.

 

Keep in mind that it was me that followed up. My responsibility was watching over her and I believe parents should not let up just because they are on vacation. Like Angelndscz I believe teaching and reinforcing safety rules are the best way to insure your child's safety.

[angelndscz]

Yes, I agree 9 seems young without knowing her. I have friends who have 9 year olds that is the only child or oldest sibling and I would say they would not be mature enough to do some of the things my daughter does. My daughter went to sleep away camp last summer for the first time with 2 of her older cheer friends. My niece (two months older than my daughter) is very different from my daughter. When they were younger, I always labeled my niece as the "type" that would be most inclined to open the cabinent under the kitchen sink and drink anything (she never did, but I put child locks on when she visited). She would also just run outside the house without permssion, or run ahead of the adults and jump into the deep end of the pool with no one around, and then realize she was not wearing her arm floats. Whenever she is around I take extra safety precautions because I just never knew what she was going to get into. Every child is different in their maturity levels.

 

We do teach appropriate and inappropriate behavior. The "stranger danger" is not what we teach our kids. Statistics show that most of the time the victim knows the assalant. At my daughter's old cheer gym there was a coach that was having an inappropriate relationship with a minor. My daughter is flyer in on an all star cheerleading team, which means she is practicing with other girls, teen boys, and male coaches. To put her in the proper positions in the air, they do have to touch certain areas of her leg and butt but she knows what is appropriate and inappopriate. She also is never alone in the gym and our gym has CCTV which is displayed in every room of the gym on monitors so parents can watch from the parent room, front desk, or kitchen.

 

I don't think I have to worry about my kids being lured away as I don't see them falling for any "can you help me find my puppy" stories, which we have talked about these scenarios. But if someone was to run up and grab them and drag them away, that a different story. I have also talked to them about escape techniques. For example, they say that if you are put into a trunk to kick out the tail lights (I am not sure if this works on new model cars) because if you kick hard enough in the corner of the trunk the tailight will pop out and you can stick a leg or arm out to get attention.

[praline3001]

as I don't see them falling for any "can you help me find my puppy" stories,

 

My husband and I are scout leaders. Boy Scouts but when our kids were younger we were leaders in the cub scouts. We were doing a safety program with the local DARE officer about many topics: drugs, walking off with strangers and that kind of thing along with fingerprinting.

 

The officer was female and she wanted to try something with the boys. Every parents had full knowledge ahead of time. We let the boys (ages 9-10 ish) play on the playground unsupervised while all of the parents were pretending to be busy inside the church. She walked up in plain clothes and used the "Can you guys help me find my puppy" story. Now every one of those boys had heard that line a 100 times. Every one of them swore a million times they were never fall for a stupid story like that.

Every parent's jaw hit the ground as she was able to "kidnap" all of them and took a nice long walk away from the playground with them. Not one of the boys thought to tell a parent.

 

After the experiment was over there were some pretty upset parents! Some of the boys actually tried to say "Well she was a girl. Girls don't kidnap kids only men do that."

I was one of those parents that knew my kids would never fall for something like that. :rolleyes:

 

I am not saying your daughter would fall for it. It was a exercise the officer wanted to go through with the kids to show them how easy it is to be lured away. It shocked all of us.

[angelndscz]

My husband and I are scout leaders. Boy Scouts but when our kids were younger we were leaders in the cub scouts. We were doing a safety program with the local DARE officer about many topics: drugs, walking off with strangers and that kind of thing along with fingerprinting.

 

The officer was female and she wanted to try something with the boys. Every parents had full knowledge ahead of time. We let the boys (ages 9-10 ish) play on the playground unsupervised while all of the parents were pretending to be busy inside the church. She walked up in plain clothes and used the "Can you guys help me find my puppy" story. Now every one of those boys had heard that line a 100 times. Every one of them swore a million times they were never fall for a stupid story like that.

Every parent's jaw hit the ground as she was able to "kidnap" all of them and took a nice long walk away from the playground with them. Not one of the boys thought to tell a parent.

 

After the experiment was over there were some pretty upset parents! Some of the boys actually tried to say "Well she was a girl. Girls don't kidnap kids only men do that."

I was one of those parents that knew my kids would never fall for something like that. :rolleyes:

 

I am not saying your daughter would fall for it. It was a exercise the officer wanted to go through with the kids to show them how easy it is to be lured away. It shocked all of us.

 

 

Except the story DID happen to my kid. Kindof. When he was in middle school he was walking our dog. A guy stopped his truck, got out with a camera and said something like how he use to have a dog just like that and wanted to take a picture. My son was standing right near my house on a public sidewalk so he took the picture. My son came back inside immediately and told the Nanny what happened. The Nanny called me immediately (I was on my way home from work). I talked to my son and asked what kind of camera was it (professional, digital, disposable) to try to see if he worked with the newspaper, etc. My son said he told him he lived at the end of the street on the cul-de-sac. We drove there and no black truck (later learned he kept it park in the garage). We tried to file a police report but the police said he did nothing wrong since it was a public sidewalk and he did not touch my kid or ask my son to get in the truck. I was like are you kidding me, he was obviously trying to feel my kid out on how approachable he was.

 

Anyways, 2 months later as another middle school boy got off the summer school bus (our bus stop, he was only kid getting off bus cause of summer) the same guy offered him a ride home. The boy refused and felt threatened and started running. The man chased him but was an out of shape overweight guy, and the boy got away. Our neighbor, a middle school teacher, saw the boy talking to the cops and told us she was worried. My boys found our same day what happened because this was their friend. I immediately called the detective of this case and told him how I tried to file a report on the same guy 2 months earlier. We were witness on the trail that got delayed for 2 years for various reasons. The guy never did any jail time. Him and his wife I belive are divorced but he never bothered anyone again. I am not sure if he even lives in the same house. He tried to claim he was very religious, a childless couple, and just liked being around kids. Really? Then volunteer with your church youth group and stop approaching kids.

 

This brought things home to us and taught our kids a lesson on being apporached by wierdos.

 

Oh and we are a boy scout family too. My son is a Life Scout (the one approached). Just missed the deadline for his Eagle project becuase he has a school senior project that is taking all his time (required for graduation), so he is helping his BFF with his Eagle project. I wish he had done his Eagle project but he will be 18 in 2 weeks.

[JP4GA]

Here's one I have NOT seen mentioned and may not be popular.... but at least one adult needs to be sober at ALL times. Nothing can get a kid hurt like a non sober parent. When your kids come to ask something at least one of you need to be thinking clearly. DH and I will not be enjoying as many drinks on this cruise since the kids will be with us. That may actually save us a little money.

 

Our punishment for not reporting or checking in or breaking the rules means the next day the kid has to spend the ENTIRE day with US. Our kids have NEVER been late checking in and have not gotten into any trouble.

 

Our basic rules are: follow all ship rules, respect other passengers, never go into any other cabin but ours, don't invite others to our cabin and have FUN.

 

We also make it a rule to have breakfast together (to plan the day) and dinner together to talk about our days. We ask probing questions and do not allow only yes/no answers.

[Warm Breezes]

I have a DD(15) and DS(17). They have been on 9 cruises in the last 11 years. DD is 5'11" and a competitive dancer. DS is 6'8" and protective of his little sister. I don't worry about her on a cruise. First she rarely does the kids clubs and she prefers to hang out with us or her brother. Second I always book rooms close to the stairs so they can take the stairs from the public floors and not have to walk down hallways of rooms. Third we have a rule that we always let each other know where we will be and if that changes, we let the others know by going to where they are and telling them. This is a rule for adults and kids. Fourth the only times she heads out on her own is to run and get a snack or a drink. Any other time she is with us or her brother. Fifth she knows not to leave her drink unattended. Sixth she knows not to go with any stranger anywhere. Seventh being a dancer she can give a strong well placed kick anywhere she wants to....head, groin whereever.

 

We live in a rural town in the country. About 2 weeks ago a high school boy got approached by a man in a blue car wanting help to find his dog. This was a boy walking home from his bus stop. Which is also my DD's bus stop only walking in the opposite direction. The boy ran home and they called the police. Whether going on cruise or living in a small town, all kids need to be taught what to do if a stranger comes up to them. Their life may depend on it.

[praline3001]

Oh and we are a boy scout family too. My son is a Life Scout (the one approached). Just missed the deadline for his Eagle project becuase he has a school senior project that is taking all his time (required for graduation), so he is helping his BFF with his Eagle project. I wish he had done his Eagle project but he will be 18 in 2 weeks.

 

Thats great! Life scout is nothing to frown on, it takes a lot of effort to get that far. My oldest just finished his project and we are planning his Eagle Court of Honor. He has prom this weekend as well.. makes me kind of sad :(

[CocaCola19]

Set rules, set consequences, and stick with them. If your child doesn't already know how to handle herself then a cruise is a not a place to learn it. My brother's class (he is 16) has gone on a class trip for the past few years. One of the rules is they MUST stay in groups of 3. If they are found alone or only with 1 other person then they get into big trouble. This school does a good job at keeping dozens, and sometimes 100's of students in line. The kids know the rules, and know the consequences. No excuses accepted.

[emelvee]

Even though we've been on several cruises, the above information is very helpful. Our daughter (now 11 1/2) has been on all of our cruises. She's never been on her own - either with us or in the kids club. Even on our last cruise, IIRC she could have signed herself out but said she didn't want to. I plan to go over the list of "rules" with her...as she gets older and gains more independence.

[JMHAM1]

I am all about showing rather then telling ...like I said, teens do not listen to lectures.

 

I had a friend with a 16 year old daughter who showed her how fast this could happen. She slipped a half a bottle of Tabasco sauce in her can of coke she left on the counter in their house :p

The lesson sunk in pretty quickly ;)

 

This is an EXCELLENT way to demonstrate this. It is a huge fear of mine. I feel like that I was always diligent when I was a teen and a young woman in her 20s. A friend and I went out in New Orleans when we were about 24 y/o and both of us had stuff put in our drinks. A guy friend of mine saw that I was acting strange and took me home. My friend was not so lucky. She woke up in a hotel room with a stranger. Firsthand, I know what can happen and I understand your fear.

 

That being said, my first cruise was when I was 15 (years ago--size 4 with a D cup already and blonde-only child with over protective parents blah blah blah). I was extremely "good" on board. No drinks, no going into rooms, no funny business. In fact, I spent a good portion of the trip hanging with my parents. I think you have to set up your expectations and consequences clearly and then follow up frequently. If you can, meet her cruise friends for peace of mind and relax as much as you can.

 

We are taking all six of ours on a cruise next year ranging in age at the time of the cruise from 3 - 15 years old. I think we are most worried about the 3 y/o and he will never be out of our sight.

 

Once you return, be sure to come back and let us know how it all turns out. Good luck!

[higgib]

My husband and I are scout leaders. Boy Scouts but when our kids were younger we were leaders in the cub scouts. We were doing a safety program with the local DARE officer about many topics: drugs, walking off with strangers and that kind of thing along with fingerprinting.

 

The officer was female and she wanted to try something with the boys. Every parents had full knowledge ahead of time. We let the boys (ages 9-10 ish) play on the playground unsupervised while all of the parents were pretending to be busy inside the church. She walked up in plain clothes and used the "Can you guys help me find my puppy" story. Now every one of those boys had heard that line a 100 times. Every one of them swore a million times they were never fall for a stupid story like that.

Every parent's jaw hit the ground as she was able to "kidnap" all of them and took a nice long walk away from the playground with them. Not one of the boys thought to tell a parent.

 

After the experiment was over there were some pretty upset parents! Some of the boys actually tried to say "Well she was a girl. Girls don't kidnap kids only men do that."

I was one of those parents that knew my kids would never fall for something like that. :rolleyes:

 

I am not saying your daughter would fall for it. It was a exercise the officer wanted to go through with the kids to show them how easy it is to be lured away. It shocked all of us.

 

Totally agree. I am a facilitator at local authority Junior Citizen events. Kids aged 10/11 take part in 8 or so scenarios around safety, eg, fire, 1st aid, buses, trains etc. They work in groups of up to 10 kids. At the beginning they are told not to go with anyone unless they are school staff that they know, or are wearing a uniform eg, police, fire officer, bus staff etc. In one scenario a plain clothes police officer asks the kids to help them move some chairs from outside the building, or to help carry some boxes from their car boot. in EVERY group of 10 kids, at least 3 or 4 kids will go, somtimes its more. Even scarier, when questioned by a uniformed police officer, most are unable to describe the p/c officer, even though they saw them 5 mins ago, and sometimes even when the person is still in the room with them! Hopefully after our input it is a lesson they do not forget.

[scarlett81]

As to the OP mentioning specific things like drinks, how her kids will dress (bikinis or skimpy dresses), theft, etc..my general feeling is that this doesn't happen anymore on a cruiseship than it does in any major city, busy hotel, or theme park. That being said, I wouldn't leave my valuables around in any hotel or vaca place I'm in.

Kids mature at different paces. If your daughter is 'blossoming' (like I did quite early too), then assess whether or not she's ready for the occasional unwanted attention that comes from people/esp creeps. If she's not ready, go shopping for a cute trendy bathing suit that covers more up! She won't die! :)

 

I'd teach my teens to be aware of their surroundings regardless of the setting. You can let your guard down in a party at your hometown and bad things can happen.

#1 is supervision...you say there are teen programs, but you don't have to allow your teen to participate in that. If you don't necessarily trust your kid for the time being, don't let them go. Or if there's others you don't trust, don't let your kids go. I do believe in the old "NO", still. You can offer an alternative too...maybe you'll have to give up something that you'd rather do, but your teen will still feel like they're doing something special.

 

Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Trust no one. Somewhere in the middle seems to be a good way to deal with the stranger thing.

 

I like the illustration of the apple. The shiniest, reddest, most delicious looking apple can be full of worms. And the one that has bruises, cuts, and is bumpy can be the best tasting. You just can't tell whats good or bad from the outside.

[dsrdsrdsr]

A cruise ship tends to be a lot safer than the outside world, simply because from the crook's point of view he's trapped. There's no escape. If you assault anyone, or in the case of a crew member have consensual sexual intercourse with anyone, then you're stuck in the same environment where you may be seen and recognised by the victim. A cruise ship is an awful place to plan an assault, so they don't do it. Being on a ship might make little difference to spur of the moment assaults.

 

Groups of children are almost always safe, unless they're too young/immature to be safe on their own. You can't kidnap several children at once quietly.

[fun!melis]

This is great all the way around!

 

Here's one I have NOT seen mentioned and may not be popular.... but at least one adult needs to be sober at ALL times. Nothing can get a kid hurt like a non sober parent. When your kids come to ask something at least one of you need to be thinking clearly. DH and I will not be enjoying as many drinks on this cruise since the kids will be with us. That may actually save us a little money.

 

Our punishment for not reporting or checking in or breaking the rules means the next day the kid has to spend the ENTIRE day with US. Our kids have NEVER been late checking in and have not gotten into any trouble.

 

Our basic rules are: follow all ship rules, respect other passengers, never go into any other cabin but ours, don't invite others to our cabin and have FUN.

 

We also make it a rule to have breakfast together (to plan the day) and dinner together to talk about our days. We ask probing questions and do not allow only yes/no answers.