Mothers day Humor, even if you aren't one...

[theawesome1]

New answers to OLD questions...Enjoy.

 

Keep in mind, these answers are from children under the age of 10.

 

 

 

Why did God make mothers?

 

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of "there" when we were getting born.

 

How did God make mothers?

 

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

 

What ingredients are mothers made of?

 

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

 

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

 

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

 

What kind of little girl was your mom?

 

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

 

 

 

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

 

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

 

Why did your mom marry your dad?

 

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

 

Who's the boss at your house?

 

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

 

What's the difference between moms and dads?

 

1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

 

What does your mom do in her spare time?

 

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

 

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

 

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

 

 

 

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

 

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

 

My logo: When we disembark, I just have to book another!

[CaptData]

Cute!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hopfully a Hawiian Cruise

 

 Until we sail away on the ocean blue

 

 

 

Navigator of the Seas Western Crib 08/03

Dawn Princess - Eastern Carb 01/03

Dawn Princess Panamal Canal 11/02

 

[NitaBcruising]

This is great! Thanks for sharing!

 

Nita

[thestokes]

Cute and funny!!!!

[teedee]

Thanks for posting this, it is too funny.

 

Terri

 

Skyward - 1989

Carnivale - 1991

Holiday - 1994

Fantasy - 1998

Century - 2002

Century - 2003

Jubilee - 7/04

Century - 9/04

Coral Princess - 3/05

Valor - 10/05

 

Days til Valor Vampires Cruise

[QueensChick]

Very funny! Thank you for sharing.

 

 

"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking."

-Marcus Aurelius Antonius

 

1. June 2001 Celebrity ZENITH (Bermuda)

2. July 2002 Celebrity MILLENNIUM (Southern Caribbean)

3. January 2003 Carnival CONQUEST (Western Caribbean)

4. August 2003 Celebrity GALAXY (Western Caribbean)

5. September 2004 Royal Caribbean ADVENTURE OF THE SEAS (Southern Caribbean)

6. May 2005 Celebrity INFINITY ()

 

'til my Adventure

 

 

 

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[ebonybee]

I absolutely loved this. There is a lot of truth you can gleam in these replies.

 

It reminds me of when they asked 3 years old for a recipe to bake a cake. All the other kids said you start with a "box." My daughter was the only kid that started with "flour"-that was because I did everything from scratch. However she did add a banana, and I never made banana loaf!

[theawesome1]

Gotta love those "muchkins" as I call them when we talk safety or do a safety day at pre-schools & elementary schools. What they learn from mom & dad in their scooter cars & driving safely, stopping at red lights & going on green. We hear they calling the driver in front a "numbskull" & floored me with a "M>F>" (you know that word).

 

So when they had cookies & milk I decided to have some fun by asking what mother's day meant & then what a mother is. Luckily the teacher was a former secretary with shorthand & she did my notes. I typed it up, sent it ot everyone at CC, put a large hang up at the Justice Ctr & all 6 districts as well as to the school & the teacher as a thank you for a great time. It put the biggest smiles on everyone, as a child's mind is the most precious gift & we hate when folks try to destroy it.

 

Starting tomorrow I work the International Officer's Memorial, celebrating the hard work & lives of those we lost in 2003-2004. After 9/11 & the Memorial over the past 2 years, which were the hardest work I have ever done. Bagpipes from Scotland, Bergen Cty NJ, NYC, Cleveland, Wales, over 250 total & growing............

 

My logo: When we disembark, I just have to book another!