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JW and Jerome's Excellent Adventure on the Celebrity REFLECTION!


cruiseguys2009

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The only thing that can make this review funnier than it already is, is to read it aloud to somebody else.

 

I can feel a JW and Jerome podcast coming on :D

 

I'm patiently awaiting Guzda, the Godzilla Monster of Tuscan :eek: :D

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Anxiously awaiting your take on the Tuscan Grill. This was our only sub-par dining experience. We skipped our reservation the last night and went to the Lawn Club for a third time. What a shame, as I had high hopes for it, but I guess after a few visits to Murano, nothing compares! Wish we were all at the Martini bar, you guys, the Saints, Hat Lady throwing ice, and all of those yummy fly boys!

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Anxiously awaiting your take on the Tuscan Grill. This was our only sub-par dining experience. We skipped our reservation the last night and went to the Lawn Club for a third time. What a shame, as I had high hopes for it, but I guess after a few visits to Murano, nothing compares! Wish we were all at the Martini bar, you guys, the Saints, Hat Lady throwing ice, and all of those yummy fly boys!

 

Did you ever get those monkeys for yor dogs?

 

Ed and Donna

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Jerome and I left the Sheraton Casino with our Certificates in hand, and proceeded down the side street from the main entrance. We came upon a beautiful staircase going up to the main shopping street, and of course, this Queen had to have his picture taken like Mary, Queen of The Reflection. (I have this pic, but there are several that I have to wait to post until Jerome comes home. They are on his camera and I am Technically Challenged and do not know the first thing about downloading or uploading or side loading or loading period)

 

Speaking of Mary, we always visit the Catholic Cathedrals at every port of call we come to. It’s one of the things we enjoy doing. The Cathedral in Old San Juan is breathtaking. The Cathedral closes at 5 PM every day, so you have to hurry or you will miss it. One thing I did find neat there, are tons of cats everywhere, and many were sleeping in the pews of the church, and one was even on “Mary’s Altar“. Of course, boob that I am, I did not think about the attire I had on….My tee shirt, remember? “Martini’s Make My Clothes Fall Off!”, how sacrilegious of me. Now if it had said “Wine” instead of “Martini’s, well that would have been more appropriate and pious.

 

Jerome and I are taking in all the magnificent statues, the different Altars, different rooms and they even have a glass enclosed casket with a body entombed in wax. I could not find any signage that I understood, and I did not know if that was the body of Ponce de Leon, or perhaps some other Saint. It was fascinating. In the back of the church is another secret room and it contains a gorgeous life size crucifix. Needless to say, it was a very moving experience and I enjoyed the visit. Oh Look, here come the Three Saints! Gosh this place was full of “Us” Saints! “Hi Boys!” Jerome and I waved.

 

As I was making my way out, I came across a sort of Religious Item Gift Counter, not really a shop, but two very old department store glass counters lined up by the exit. Inside was your standard grouping of Catholic Memorabilia, Rosary’s, Holy Cards and OH MY! “Look at That!” I said out loud thinking that Jerome was right behind me, but no, he had already left the building, and consequently, since the Cathedral was closed, they locked him out and left me inside. “Look at the size of that!” Get your mind out of the gutter, I was not talking about that. It was a gigantic wooden Rosary with hand carved beads that were the size of “Figs” and a two foot long crucifix. How would you hold it to pray the Rosary? Talk about having your “Cross To Bear”. This was huge! (I realize that this is a Catholic moment and many of you are unfamiliar with The Rosary, so I do apologize in advance)

 

The Rosary was spectacular in the box, and I wanted to see it out of the box. There was a lone sales lady, chapel lady, Church Lady tending the counter, and was also the one that locked Jerome out. I wanted to have her open the door to let him in to see this Rosary, “No!“ “No come in after out!“ She said. “Jugo Out?“ “No, Mi Amigo Outside-o Chruch-o” I said in bastardized Spanglish. She waved at me so I just went back to the counter. Now I just love to shop when I have had a few Martini’s. You know where this is going, don’t you? I had Maria Counterlady-o take out the Giant Rosary and we opened the box. Oh My Lord! It was HUGE! It stretched over 8 feet long, and was bigger than I am…..even bigger than Ironside Raymond Burr! I had to have it! “Quando Dollar-o?” I said, oh yeah, I remember my 7th grade Spanish! So I asked “Cuando Dinero Pour Favor?” Oh my gosh I thought I was gonna die! She rattled off fifteen thousand words in Spanish, speaking a mile a minute, “Uno Momento!” I cut in, “How Much?” All I can tell you was, it was A LOT. I bought it.

 

Yep, who else would wear a “Martini’s Make My Clothes Fall Off Tee shirt”, go to the Holy Roman Catholic Cathedral in San Juan, completely Soused, and buy an Eight Foot Long Hand Carved Wooden Rosary? I get to the door, and she unlocks this big monster of a black wooden door, creaking loudly as it opens, I step out into the sunshine with my purchase in the bag, and there is Jerome. He says “I thought you were right behind me, then the door closed and locked. I couldn’t get in.“ He notices the big bag I am carrying, “Uh Oh, what did you buy?”, he says. “Crap JW, that’s a big bag, did you steal a statue or something, You are going to go to Hell!”. “Wait a minute”, he continued, “You didn’t buy a Statue did you?” “JW, What did you buy?”

 

We were still on the steps of the Cathedral and Jerome was getting testy with me already. “I bought a Rosary.” I said. “JW, bull crap you did!”, he was really snippy thinking that I was lying. He said, “A Rosary fits in your pocket“, “Now tell me, JW what did you buy?” I answered him with a loud “A ROSARY!” I said emphatically. “A Big Gosh Darn Life Size ROSARY!” Jerome goes, “Let Me See it!” We sit on the steps and I pull out the box and open it and he says “Sweet Mother of Gawd, it’s huge! “What in the world are you going to do with that?” “JW, Are you drunk?” The beads are more the size of pong pong balls and each one is ornately carved. And it’s heavy. “JW, all these years I have known you and you still surprise me, never a dull moment.” “Thank you Jerome,” I said, “I will take that as a compliment, now here, carry the bag!” I handed him the bag and he was shocked at how heavy it was, and he handed it back to me saying “Nope, Nada, No way, Ain’t Happenin'.” “I am not lugging that all over San Juan,.” “ You bought it, you carry your Cross!” Oh Jerome, I thought, you actually made a funny!

 

I lugged the Gigantic Rosary as we continued to walk around San Juan and about three blocks from the Cathedral, I exclaim “Oh My Gosh, Look!” Jerome is looking around, annoyed, He says to me, “What JW, What?" "I hate it when you startle me like that!” “OH Look Jerome!”, I say, “MARSHALL’S!” “There’s a Marshall’s in San Juan!” Jerome says, “So?, Why wouldn’t there be, it’s the USA.” “Let’s go in!” I said, “Please, let’s go in!” I got my way, but Jerome was unimpressed, that is until we went inside. At first I thought that it was only one floor, as it was enormous. But this Marshalls was four levels! It truly was like going to Shopping Mecca! I saw that Jerome thought the same and it was truly a sight to see, however, as we were going up the steps to one of the next levels, he said, “JW, I am not buying anything here and neither are you.” “We have Marshall’s at home.” “Yes, Jerome but not Mega Marshalls!” I said, “This is insane!” I did also notice several of our Crew Members from the ship were here, I guess scoping out the deals to bring back gifts to family in Europe, where most of them were from, and also most would be taking their vacations soon, after they sailed the Transatlantic (Which was the cruise following ours).

 

“Where did you go in San Juan? “ “The Fort?” “Bacardi Museum?” “A Fabulous Restaurant?” “No, We went to Marshall’s!”

 

After seeing the Mother ship of Marshall’s , Jerome and I headed towards the bay and we walked along the waterway, on top of the wall, got some great pics of the ship, and yes, I will post them as soon as Jerome gets home and does that tech stuff for me. We came across the famous Ralph Lauren “POLO” shop. It was new and it had moved from the last time we had been here. We entered and saw quite a few things that were on sale, and that we would have like to have purchased, but nothing was in our size. That is why it was on sale! After leaving Polo, we headed towards the ship and several Roll Call members had decided to meet up at Senior Frogs. I was loosing my buzz, so we stopped in, I needed a “pick me up” anyway.

 

We entered into Senior Frogs, and of course the signature balloon hats were in full force. We saw our cruise critic group camped out at a large table, totally schnockered. Oh My Gosh…..There is Hat Lady! At the bar! And she is T-Rashed! Too funny.

 

Jerome and I take a seat at the bar, and I don’t want one of those fru fru cocktails, no, just Goose on the Rocks! Jerome has a beer. When we get our drinks, I engage the bartender in a risqué conversation and, since he knew we were gay, we were having some fun with him. You can’t embarrass a bartender, ever! However I cannot, even remotely post, what our “Adult” Conversations were about. I can only show you the pictures of the hat they “blew” up for me. It came complete with detailed artwork and “Tea Bags”. (If you are unfamiliar with that phrase, then go ask your Mother!)

 

 

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Notice who had the bigger of the two? Hmmm? Art Imitates Life!

 

 

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Everyone wanted to cop a feel! Mayhem ensued and there are pics I cannot post!

 

 

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Hey There1 Happy To See Me?

 

 

It was great fun sporting a big, giant, weenie balloon sculpture on the top of my head. I wore it all the way back to the ship, To the howls and screams and laughter of whoever we walked by. I have no shame nor embarrassment. I want to have fun! You should have seen the security personnel as we got back on board, That was one hat they did not ask me to remove! If only I had seen Mean Rascal Ironside, that would have been a real treat! Here Ironside, sit on this!

 

Ahh, we got back on board went up to our state room, I put the Tallywacker balloon on my lampshade by the bed, to which Corazon, the next morning, commented on it, and how much fun we were, and how the crew is all talking about how crazy Jerome and I are. Really? I had no idea, none at all? You?

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Did you ever get those monkeys for yor dogs?

 

Ed and Donna

 

 

I am glad you reminded me of that story. That's got to be include on St Kitts day. I have to write that down, part of the endless Martini Bar conversations!

 

Hey everyone, Go Noles is Straight Saint Edward and his wife Donna. Sorry there was never a Saint Donna, I Googled it. Ed and Donna were our Drinking Buddies the whole week and experienced most of what I am writing about! New that they would be reading this, and I am including them in an upcoming chapter.

 

There is so much more kookie stuff with kookie 1,2,3, drunk people. Enjoy!

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JW how far is the Cathedral from the pier in San Juan? I'd like to check it out when we arrive in December

 

 

About a 20 minute walk. Go straight from the pier, cross the street, walk down the street in between the Sheraton Casino and another building, it looks like an alley, but its a street. Then you will come to that staircase I mentioned. Go up the stairs, to the shopping street and then go to the left. And then follow the map that they give you right at the pier as you got off the boat. It's about 8 blocks down from there, and you will pass the Marshall's, then its about five blocks to the right. The Cathedral is at the back end of the gorgeous central park area that, on the day we were there, was a mini-festival going on with food, dancing, costumes and shows. Great fun!

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I am just at the beginning of page 2 and have already "LOL"d so many times, I would like to thank you in advance for such an entertaining review! Can't wait for more details and smiles. In fact, let me get back to it . . .

 

:p

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I am just at the beginning of page 2 and have already "LOL"d so many times, I would like to thank you in advance for such an entertaining review! Can't wait for more details and smiles. In fact, let me get back to it . . .

 

:p

 

 

Thanks and I am writing this each day as we go along so I tinkle along with the rest of you. There was so much fun to be had without trying! I have officially become a Celebrity Sailor For Life! Our Best Cruise EVER! The Best Cruise Line Ever!

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My hubby and I will be booking a cruise for next summer on celebrity. we have been cruising with princess and Hal recently. you brought back all the memories and reasons why we loved Celebrity so much!! Thank you...how about joining us in Bermuda June 2014? Would love to join you guys in the Martini Bar...Not to be repetitive, but you tell one hell of a story..keep it coming!! Thanks again, Vickie

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JW you are more of a time traveller than Marty! You left the ship at 3.30pm got run over by the rascal, spent three hours in the casino and made it to the cathedral to buy your ping pong rosary all before it closed at 5pm :D

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My hubby and I will be booking a cruise for next summer on celebrity. we have been cruising with princess and Hal recently. you brought back all the memories and reasons why we loved Celebrity so much!! Thank you...how about joining us in Bermuda June 2014? Would love to join you guys in the Martini Bar...Not to be repetitive, but you tell one hell of a story..keep it coming!! Thanks again, Vickie

 

 

Bermuda is NOT Ready for me! Trust me! I think it's the only country where they enforce the NO MO laws. As in No Homo! There is a web of secret underground clubs and bars that change each week. The "Underground" Society like Bellmen, Concierges, and Front Desk Associates are kept abreast of the "Happenings", but a foreigner does stand a good chance of getting arrested.....OH MY! No weenie balloon hats in Bermuda! Consequently there is no Senior Frogs either.

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JW you are more of a time traveller than Marty! You left the ship at 3.30pm got run over by the rascal, spent three hours in the casino and made it to the cathedral to buy your ping pong rosary all before it closed at 5pm :D

 

 

Okay, so I am on Martini time.....I tinkled, I played, I signed up for a Casino Card, I won, I lost, I thought it was like three hours, but your are right.........I just asked Jerome, we were in the Casino for just about an hour. No see below. Well, drop my drawers!

 

It's the first place we are going to in November!

 

Update: Jerome just reminded me that the Cathedral closed at 6PM and he recanted, we were at the Casino for more than an hour, and we went back after Senior Frogs. Oh I forgot, "Did I have the Hat on?" I asked Jerome. "Yes, you did, and they loved it!" Jerome continued, "If you so remember, JW, That's when they gave us the Certificates." "Remember, we had 8:30 Reservations at The Lawn Club so we had time to kill" "No, I don't remember, but if you say so", I just said to him.

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Okay, so I am on Martini time.....I tinkled, I played, I signed up for a Casino Card, I won, I lost, I thought it was like three hours, but your are right.........I just asked Jerome, we were in the Casino for just about an hour. Well, drop my drawers!

 

It's the first place we are going to in November!

 

Lol now you've got me all disappointed because I thought you were a time traveller :) time flies when you are enjoying yourself xx

 

Loving the review, if you ever come to Scotland pop in and see me and Nessie :D (my job is to look after her)

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Lol now you've got me all disappointed because I thought you were a time traveller :) time flies when you are enjoying yourself xx

 

Loving the review, if you ever come to Scotland pop in and see me and Nessie :D (my job is to look after her)

 

 

Read the follow up I just posted to the original. I am a Martini Time Traveler!

 

Oh and here we go...Nessie's Caretaker................now I have to Tinkle!

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