How Old for Kids to Explore on Their Own?

[janetz]

My husband has been in law enforcement his entire career so I tend to look at the world a bit differently.

 

Rather than wondering how my child would behave among 3,000 + strangers.......my concern would be what type of characters would be roaming the ship with my child?

 

I do agree you have to let them grow up, but I personally would not choose to do that in a floating city with 3,000 strangers. The bad people aren't walking around with a sign.....they will look like everyone else.

I

 

 

Well said. :)

[alexspepa]

Having read this thread, a couple of points come to mind:

 

1) A few posters maintain that "things were very different when I was growing up..." They sure were-- things were A LOT WORSE. The creeps and molesters were out there in the same numbers, but IT WAS NEVER DISCUSSED IN PUBLIC-- hell, it was never even discussed IN PRIVATE, at least not with the kids! Now, it's not only a topic of discussion in people's homes, it's all over the news media, with sensational cases like Cleveland's "house of horrors" occupying headlines for weeks at a time. Children realize quickly that the world is not always "sugar & spice and everything nice", even if their parents haven't yet found a way to sit them down and give them a talk about such things.

 

2) A cruise ship is about THE WORST PLACE IMAGINABLE for anyone with nasty intentions toward children-- no dark deserted areas, cameras everywhere, sharp-eyed crew everywhere, and NO PLACE TO RUN OR HIDE after getting done with their theoretical molestation.

 

I was happily running around loose in Paris at 13-- the only one panicking was my mother, who had nearly forgotten what the correct day was to meet up with me there after the rest of my school group had left for the airport that morning. Please try and keep things in perspective. If kids know proper boundaries, (and also know better than to press all the buttons in the elevator,) everything should be just fine.

 

Like!

[Blk_Amish]

I agree with many of the other commenters. However something you should talk to your kids about - if i see misbehaving (according to my conservative opinion) i do not hesitate to discipline other peoples kids, IFTHE PARENTS are not about. If the parents are about, i talk my issue to the parent. How would your kids handle a non parent discipline. Remember, everyone has their own parenting standards. Mine are strict. Running and yelling (including loud talking) would get my attention as well as the typical childhood pranks. When i see well behaved kids, i usually thank them so that they know us adults appreciate it. If they and you are not prepared for my discipline/actions, then dont let them roam outside your oversight.

 

I am actually surprise to read this on these boards after reading again and again, what kids do is none of my business. I was on a Spring Break crusie where I suspected teens were drinking and later confirm by my teenage son. I witnessed many very young children roaming around late, way past midnight, unsupervised. I posted this information on the Carnival board and was mercilessly flamed for not minding my business. The comment that made me cry was a poster who said, don't breed it don't feed it. Just the mentality that if the predator has more of a go at our kids is simple because so many parents are only concern with the ones they breed and have to worry about feeling, or in the case protect. Yeah, times have changed but many more from the aspect of who cares and why!

 

If a parents can't keep their child in check, I am willing to help. The predator knows if I am around he/she has to go through me to get to any child, mine or yours. Yes she, several female teachers had 'relations' with teen boys in my school district last year. Even with these cases, I am not convinced our society has become a cess pool of predators verse the time I grew up. Then again I thought it was natural for people to care about kids, which is not the case.

 

I am glad to see your mindset still exists. My kids know if they go to sleep and dream about talking to me a certain way, they need to wake up and apologize. If they climb over the rail, they need to pray the sharks get to them before I do. The rails is someplace they don't belong and therefore it was no accident. Be respectful of adults because some waited a lifetime for the vacation I dragged their butts to sometimes.

 

Pauline

Edited December 6, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Blk_Amish]

having read this thread, a couple of points come to mind:

 

1) a few posters maintain that "things were very different when i was growing up..." they sure were-- things were a lot worse. The creeps and molesters were out there in the same numbers, but it was never discussed in public-- hell, it was never even discussed in private, at least not with the kids! Now, it's not only a topic of discussion in people's homes, it's all over the news media, with sensational cases like cleveland's "house of horrors" occupying headlines for weeks at a time. Children realize quickly that the world is not always "sugar & spice and everything nice", even if their parents haven't yet found a way to sit them down and give them a talk about such things.

 

2) a cruise ship is about the worst place imaginable for anyone with nasty intentions toward children-- no dark deserted areas, cameras everywhere, sharp-eyed crew everywhere, and no place to run or hide after getting done with their theoretical molestation.

 

I was happily running around loose in paris at 13-- the only one panicking was my mother, who had nearly forgotten what the correct day was to meet up with me there after the rest of my school group had left for the airport that morning. Please try and keep things in perspective. If kids know proper boundaries, (and also know better than to press all the buttons in the elevator,) everything should be just fine.

 

+10

[AlkiRagdoll]

Pauline - there are many adults like me who have little hesitation for disciplining the children of others. It is unfortunate that others gave flammed out on you on other posts as i suspect many support the "it takes a village" philosophy, but dont want the flames.

I learned a the hardest of all lessons by losing a child (not on a cruise ship). No parent should ever be in my shoes. I could only dream that someone might have intervened and prevented his accident. My intervention is no longer limited to safety, but to also any disturbance. Kids need to know that there are adults that can and will help them, but more importantly protect them. However, i have had kids freak out when i have intervened, and thus it is why i asked - how will your kids react if another non parent adult counsels them? I will have NO hesitation to invoke my right to have the entire party put off at the next port. We all learn differently, and i learned an intolerable lesson 15 years ago....i only wish it had been as easy as being removed from a ship.

[Karysa]

Many posters on cc post scarey things not to warn others but to scare them off. There are so many kid haters on this site that pretend that they are concerned about your child getting molested when they are actually concerned that your child is going to splash them in the pool or knock on their door at 2 a.m. and run away laughing.

[Karysa]

I remember when the voting age was 21 and sending 18 yr olds to war without having the privilege to vote was a travesty. They can now vote and kill or be killed as a member of the armed forces. Eighteen is still the age our society deems appropriate for lots of freedom though 21 is for additional freedom. Our brains are still developing until 22.

 

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So if our brains are not developed until 22 is that why 18 is the age when you can sign up for the armed forces because if the law was 22 there would be a lot less people making that decision? This actually makes a lot of sense to me.

[Blk_Amish]

AlkiRagdoll- so sorry to hear about your lost. It's hard to imagine that kind of lost. This year our school and district was hit hard with kids tragedies. Two kids committed suicide, online bullying was a factor in one, another in a car crash as a result of texting. I knew kids well, and met the parents. Then there was the student/teacher 'relations'.

 

I fear more for my kids with some posters than I could ever with a predator. On another thread got toasted for simply saying tips should be included in the fare. Like the other thread, I thought that was a good thing but the flamers disagreed, hooey! The risk is not always about strangers but who we trust our kids with or around. However, I believe there are many parents who do care about the well being of kids beyond their own.

 

NO, NO, NO, Hillary Clinton was not the one who came of the "it takes a village" philosophy":D:D We are from different cultures and take our parenting and adult responsibilities differently. I will look out for your kids as I do mine. By golly, if I am not putting up with it from kids, I am not taking it from yours. Yes Maam and No Sir, are alive and well in my kid's world.

Edited December 7, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[Pennstateman]

My kids will be 12 when we go on our first cruise next year. They are asking me if they can explore the ship by themselves. I'm thinking no, but I wonder how other parents feel. Do the lines have an official policy? We'll be on Celebrity.

 

Wait until they're about 30

[jimicaj]

As a school psychologist, I often spent my Mondays dealing with the aftermath of parents dropping their adolescent of at masks, skating rinks, and other "safe" locations. I got to deal with sexual harassment and assault, bullying, drug use, etc. The police got to deal with the other things like shoplifting.

 

Adolescents aren't ready for that kind of freedom. They are easy targets because they are easily manipulated and on their own come up with some stupid stuff. They are impulsive and lack understanding of the long term effects of their actions. I can only imagine how this would translate with the excitement of vacation with people you will never see again.

 

Should an adolescent be allowed to hang out at the big pool while mom is nearby at the adults only pool (and laying eyes on their hormone ravaged teen every once in a while)? Sure! Can they go to a meal with new friends and meet their parents immediately after for a show? Yes! Can they roam the ship for hours at a time unsupervised? H### NO.

 

(This is assuming your child typically makes good choices and is well behaved generally and is typically developing) only you know your child and can set appropriate limits for them.

 

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[jimicaj]

As a school psychologist, I often spent my Mondays dealing with the aftermath of parents dropping their adolescent of at masks, skating rinks, and other "safe" locations. I got to deal with sexual harassment and assault, bullying, drug use, etc. The police got to deal with the other things like shoplifting.

 

Adolescents aren't ready for that kind of freedom. They are easy targets because they are easily manipulated and on their own come up with some stupid stuff. They are impulsive and lack understanding of the long term effects of their actions. I can only imagine how this would translate with the excitement of vacation with people you will never see again.

 

Should an adolescent be allowed to hang out at the big pool while mom is nearby at the adults only pool (and laying eyes on their hormone ravaged teen every once in a while)? Sure! Can they go to a meal with new friends and meet their parents immediately after for a show? Yes! Can they roam the ship for hours at a time unsupervised? H### NO.

 

(This is assuming your child typically makes good choices and is well behaved generally and is typically developing) only you know your child and can set appropriate limits for them.

 

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*OFF AT MALLS

Sorry for the typo

 

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[katrocity1]

Thanks everyone! This is a great discussion. I think we are going to go with periods of limited freedom, but with check-ins built-in and very strong rules about no going with anyone into their cabins etc. Some stranger danger reminders but turned up a notch!

[Karysa]

Thanks everyone! This is a great discussion. I think we are going to go with periods of limited freedom, but with check-ins built-in and very strong rules about no going with anyone into their cabins etc. Some stranger danger reminders but turned up a notch!

 

Sounds very reasonable! Have a wonderful cruise:)

[dsrdsrdsr]

As a school psychologist, I often spent my Mondays dealing with the aftermath of parents dropping their adolescent of at malls, skating rinks, and other "safe" locations. I got to deal with sexual harassment and assault, bullying, drug use, etc. The police got to deal with the other things like shoplifting.

 

Adolescents aren't ready for that kind of freedom. They are easy targets because they are easily manipulated and on their own come up with some stupid stuff. They are impulsive and lack understanding of the long term effects of their actions. I can only imagine how this would translate with the excitement of vacation with people you will never see again.

 

Should an adolescent be allowed to hang out at the big pool while mom is nearby at the adults only pool (and laying eyes on their hormone ravaged teen every once in a while)? Sure! Can they go to a meal with new friends and meet their parents immediately after for a show? Yes! Can they roam the ship for hours at a time unsupervised? H### NO.

 

(This is assuming your child typically makes good choices and is well behaved generally and is typically developing) only you know your child and can set appropriate limits for them.

 

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I agree with a lot of this, but not the conclusion. Children should be given some freedom before adolescence, because that's when they will be most likely to believe Mummy/Daddy knows best. Then it can be built up throughout adolescence until they set off for college.

 

Yes, there are dangers. But there are also dangers in giving your son his first freedom on the day he waves goodbye to your home and heads off to college - he really needs to learn how to behave on his own before that date. (And so does your daughter. :eek:)