My kid's refused Circle C!

[yoursurfer]

Agree 100%. The kids roaming the ship are the ones running in the halls, sneaking to little known areas etc. On land, they are the ones getting into trouble due to having no supervision.

 

WOW! How do you know this? Very judgmental of you. I have a 14, 19, and24 year old. We are a military family and have lived all over the world. Instead of putting our children in bubble wrap and sheltering them, we have taught them right and wrong AND how to handle themselves. While I agree that dangers lurk everywhere, your child can be the victim of all sorts of things at their own school or yard! I think if my children were the ones you speak of, they would have gotten caught by now, don't you? In my observations it's the parents who overprotect and shelter who generally have the children that rebel and get into trouble. People in glass houses.....

[bluemoon12]

Quick summary of this bizarre thread:

 

-title talks about refusal of Kid club! (Note usage of exclamation point)

-OP states there was drinking and smoking

-However had a great cruise, has another planned

-Someone notes thread starter has 6 posts and went on this cruise last summer, inferring entire post is odd?

-People are debating if the parents suck or is it Carnivals fault that kids were allegedly smoking and drinking.

-obligatory Justin Bieber joke-which made me lol :)

-One poster blames rum runners

-Other posters blame crummy parents who let 12 year olds roam

-Another poster lets her 12 year old roam, but assures us she is not a crummy parent

 

I predict the next poster will claim it's the 12 year old roamers who caused Noro on the RC ship.

 

Sorry to interrupt the thread, just making sure I had it all right. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL...... love, love, love this reply! My dog actually looked at me like I was crazy, with me actually laughing aloud! :D

Edited January 28, 2014 by bluemoon12

[HappyAboard]

I agree with you there, I am astonished that any parent would allow their child under the age of 18 to just roam the ship unsupervised. We've had these kinds of threads before, and it's still an eye opener as to what parents will allow their underage child to do. I don't blame Carnival for anything, I blame the parents.

.

 

I get the point of not letting a 12 year old running around free, but I am surprised to hear that at 16 or 17 kids have cars, have jobs, are thought to be unable to handle walking around a ship by them self? That sounds unrealistic to me that someone would think that a 17 year old needs to be supervised when out in public. Kids with birthdays late in the year start university at 17 and navigate campus's on their own. Yes they should be cautious around strangers and follow an appropriate code of conduct, but supervision? Some might act stupid at 17, but some might also act stupid at 18, and many more act stupid at 35.

[BallFour4]

When you reported this to Carnival on the ship what was the response?

 

Where were these kids drinking and smoking?

[cjknox]

Calling C J Knox you are a teenage Carnival Cruiser, so whats the inside gossip Knoxy are you a Justin B type of guy:)

 

Oh no way!!;) I hate the Beiber.

 

In all seriousness though, I've never experienced any drinking or smoking in or out of the kids club but at the same time I've never really wandered off from the kids club unless there was an outside activity. I was always either in the club or with my parents.

 

Now that I'm 18 it'll be very interesting to see how the cruising experience changes now that I won't be allowed in the kids clubs anymore. I feel that young cruisers my age (18- 20 years of age) are stuck " between a rock and a hard place"'so to speak. :cool:

[Domino D]

Quick summary of this bizarre thread:

 

-title talks about refusal of Kid club! (Note usage of exclamation point)

-OP states there was drinking and smoking

-However had a great cruise, has another planned

-Someone notes thread starter has 6 posts and went on this cruise last summer, inferring entire post is odd?

-People are debating if the parents suck or is it Carnivals fault that kids were allegedly smoking and drinking.

-obligatory Justin Bieber joke-which made me lol :)

-One poster blames rum runners

-Other posters blame crummy parents who let 12 year olds roam

-Another poster lets her 12 year old roam, but assures us she is not a crummy parent

 

I predict the next poster will claim it's the 12 year old roamers who caused Noro on the RC ship.

 

Sorry to interrupt the thread, just making sure I had it all right. :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOL...... love, love, love this reply! My dog actually looked at me like I was crazy, with me actually laughing aloud! :D

 

I believe you missed the comparison to letting a 9 year old ride the NYC subway alone, complete with accompanying article. I mention this only as a means to assist in your clarity of the thread.

 

May I humbly also suggest you check out the posting about "My 8 day semi cruise from hell on the breeze" posting. Someone posted on Januay 10th about getting deathly ill on a cruise, and has now gone 27 days and 15 pages and still hasn't said what made her sick.

[christmas]

I never said I had a daughter. When my *son was 12 he was a 2nd degree black belt and yes I trusted him to roam around the ship. He is also the type of kid that has never liked to stray far so his "roaming" consisted of going to get a slice of pizza or an ice cream.

 

He's 15 now and we were just talking about how much freedom I've given him and I asked him why he's never taken advantage of it. His reply "I'd only want it if I didn't have it."

 

Good point. My 13 year old is a Sr. Second Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do. It really depends on how your kid is in order to make that decision. I have no problem with him roaming around the ship.

[christmas]

I don't see a problem with my 13 year old roaming the ship alone. He has rules that he must follow to have that privilege since he doesn't do the teens club. He has a 10:30pm curfew (unless he is with me) and must check in every 2 hours. If he doesn't follow those guidelines he has to stay with me the rest of the cruise. It really depends on how your kid is. It also depends on how you as the parent feel about it. :)

[jlindemer]

I believe you missed the comparison to letting a 9 year old ride the NYC subway alone, complete with accompanying article. I mention this only as a means to assist in your clarity of the thread.

 

 

 

May I humbly also suggest you check out the posting about "My 8 day semi cruise from hell on the breeze" posting. Someone posted on Januay 10th about getting deathly ill on a cruise, and has now gone 27 days and 15 pages and still hasn't said what made her sick.

 

 

What does her review have anything to do with this topic?

 

 

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[T. Advisor King]

1. I said parents with attitudes like yours are the first to claim to have watched their kids so carefully IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG, not that you are already saying your watch your kids carefully

2. At no time in your post did you speak of gradually exposing your kids to age appropriate situations gradually. The OP said:

"I've let my 12 year old roam around on land and at sea. That doesn't make me insensible." and you stated "agree" - big difference there

3. Not sure how you could have lost the point on 12 years looking older these days but I was assuming the OPs child was a girl and that young girls look so much older now. Perhaps you haven't seen the Lido deck when folks are drinking too much but it can get a bit rowdy, and yes, even when I've been with my daughter I've seen MUCH older guys try to "hit on her" until they see me coming up behind her.

4. A 12 year old is not a teen so yes I do think offensive language should not be going on around them. I would not personally swear in front of my child so why would I want them in a situation where others are?? Does that mean she's never heard (or even used) a swear word. Of course not, but that still doesn't mean I would want me 12 year old around that

5. I did not say your child should want to be around you 24/7. The OP you were responding to was talking about the child wanting to roam around on their own and you were bashing parents who don't think that is ok. At no time did you say it was for short periods of time. Of course kids should want to have SOME time on their own. There is a time and place for that and many of us simply do not believe that time is while on family vacation. Someone has now conveniently clarified they are only talking about going to get a slice of pizza. OK LOL, quite sure that's not what they were saying initially.

6. Perhaps some parents do measure their self worth by being overly involved in their childs life, not I. Perhaps some other parents make a whole lot of judgements on other parents who believe in watching their children carefully because they themselves are too lazy to do so.

 

I'm reluctant to turn this "discussion" into something that serves no other purpose than being a tit-for-tat retort. So I'll try to show my best restraint.

 

1. I think we agree that the situation you contemplate does not apply to me, so no additional comments are necessary.

 

2. I didn't realize that I needed to describe my parenting philosophy and approach in order to justify my view that a parent isn't, by definition, "insensible" for letting her 12 year old walk unaccompanied on a cruise ship. I think what you are saying is that if I had explained my parenting approach, you wouldn't have taken issue with my post.

 

3. I'm still a little unclear on your point. I think that what you're saying is something along the lines that because 12 year old girls "these days" look 18, they are vulnerable to relatively "innocent" approaches from older men (I say "innocent" because presumably if the girl actually looks 18, then it wouldn't be inappropriate for a 19 or 20 year old to be trying to strike up a social conversation).

 

However, if that is the case, and your point is that the 12 year old girl is at risk because of how she looks, isn't the real problem how she looks? That's not to say that a girl is "inviting" inappropriate attention by the way she dresses, but if a 12 year old is being confused with an 18 year old by the way she appears, I do think there is a larger parenting problem than supervision. You may disagree on that point and I'd like to hear it (i.e., something along the lines of "if she wants to dress the way she wants to dress, I think I'm being a good parent by letting her make that choice and handle the consequences").

 

4. I don't necessarily disagree with you on the point that adults shouldn't be using course or inappropriate language around children. That said, I view that more as a matter of manners than harm. Someone using inappropriate language around children is just poorly mannered. I don't necessarily feel the need to protect my children from bad manners. In some way, it is just a learning experience.

 

5. On the issue of whether a 12 year old should (or should want to) spend her day 24/7 with her parents, you said, " If it's a family vacation, the 12 year old should be with her family, and the fact that she prefers to roam around alone rather than be with her family speaks volumes to me. " I don't know how to reconcile that comment with your first statement on this point above. I stand by my statement that it is healthy for a 12 year old to want to spend some of his or her time doing things without his/her parents, whether on vacation or not. So I think we disagree on the "volumes" spoken by the opposing scenarios.

 

6. Perhaps, as you suggest, some parents use the excuse of "parenting style" to be lazy and not watch their kids, although even that statement seems to imply that not watching your kids is, by default, lazy and not the result of good teaching and a very informed parenting style. However, I rarely see or hear parents coming out of the blue to jump on a parent for being too protective. Invariably, the discussion always starts with a protective parent first criticizing other parents who don't parent the same way they do. Only then do the less actively protective parents come out and defend a more balanced parenting style. To put it another way, I think it is almost always the overprotective parents criticizing first, and the more balanced parents responding.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

I agree with T. Advisor King. This thread started out as a mini-vent (nothing wrong with that), but degraded into something else. The last two pages were all about this: one parent talking about how they got their pre-teen kid under very tight control, and other parents patting that person on the back. Then the roles rotate, and the cycle continues. Nothing really useful or helpful being said. Just through I'd expand on the points T. Advisor King brought up.

 

1. I have nothing to add.

 

2. When I was 14, I was allowed to ride the city's public transportation system pretty much anywhere, as long as I was back to my home train station before dark or 7:00 PM, whichever is later. (I was always good with directions, so I guess my parents trusted me not to go south or west of certain streets.) There's nothing wrong with a 12-year-old walking around by themselves on a cruise ship, as long as it's not the only thing they want to do.

 

3. I'm 30, so I don't make a habit of approaching girls that look 18 (real or fake), other than to ask an innocuous question, like "is this the end of the line?" when waiting for an elevator. Even in clubs on the ship, I only ask women to dance if they look at least early 20's.

 

4. I think it's all about the right time and place. There are places where people should watch their language, and there are places where they don't need to. By the pool during broad daylight, definitely. In the MDR or buffet, definitely. In the nightclub at midnight, probably not. Even in "safe" situations, you can still expect an F-bomb or two, especially when someone trips or drops something heavy on their foot.

 

5. It's all about BALANCE. It's unreasonable to expect a pre-teen to spend the entire with with their parents. Because strict parenting and wanting the child to be around at all times often stems from anxiety, rather than protectiveness. A parent's anxiety shouldn't ruin a child's vacation. It's also unreasonable for them to want to be alone all the time. That's just not how most pre-teens are. If that's the case, it might indicate a neurological condition of some sort, which is beyond the scope of this thread. Circle C still the optimal solution, except in situations that the OP brought up.

 

6. The debate between hyper-permissive parenting and maximum-security parenting is a very old one. The hyper-permissive style, which took root in early 80's, is more common today, although it seems like the pendulum is just starting to swing in the other direction.

 

Maybe I'm just lucky, but I never saw truly misbehaving teens. (And talking loudly while sitting in an empty buffet at night doesn't count as misbehavior in my book. In the cabin hallways, that's a different story.)

Edited January 29, 2014 by LandlockedCruiser01

[Thommy_Boy]

I believe you missed the comparison to letting a 9 year old ride the NYC subway alone, complete with accompanying article. I mention this only as a means to assist in your clarity of the thread.

 

May I humbly also suggest you check out the posting about "My 8 day semi cruise from hell on the breeze" posting. Someone posted on Januay 10th about getting deathly ill on a cruise, and has now gone 27 days and 15 pages and still hasn't said what made her sick.

 

But they have stated it wasn't anything on the ship that made them sick.

 

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[Domino D]

But they have stated it wasn't anything on the ship that made them sick.

 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Forums mobile app

 

It was her gallbladder. And I posted that note here about her post, because I found it amusing that these two blogs have so much activity. Both are entertaining reads.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile a

[Kova15]

Well this thread has been my entertainment for the morning! I am 26 years old and I have a 10 year old step daughter (and a year old son). So it wasnt all that long ago that I was a teenager and I am about to have one here shortly.

I think that it completely depends on the child. When I was 10 years old I was able to roam the mall with a friend by ourselves. And when we went on vacation my brother and I were able to roam the campgroup (we didn’t cruise) or walk over to the store by ourselves, roam around state fairs pretty much do whatever we wanted as long as we checked in. I had A LOT of independence. More than I would probably give my own children. My parents were leaving me home alone at 8. However, this independence made me who I am today.

Do I plan on giving my step daughter the same independence? No, but here is why. My step daughter is sweet and smart. But she does not have common sense (turns out common sense isn’t so common!) I would give her a little freedom getting Icecream or running to the room to grab something, then increasing her independence as she gets more comfortable and more aware. We are planning a vacation next year with Friends who have a daughter her age and I would allow her to roam the ship with her friend for a short amount of time maybe 30 minutes. But I trust the 2 of them together. DH and I would not let her roam free in port. The point of family vacay is to spend time with each other.

I think each child is different, and each parent is different. We all decided to parent our children different ways. Just because a parent allows their child to roam at 12 doesn’t make them a bad parent. Nor does the parent who bubble wraps their child. As a parent we do what we think is best for our children. Everyone will not agree with us and that’s OK! Having a 1 year old I have been on a lot of baby forums, people argue about vaccination their child, Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, making your own food. We all have our own opinions on these subjects and we will always have them, but it’s not worth the argument.

“Our job is not to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. Our job is to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” L.R. Knost

[Cruisin 4 Ever]

Well this thread has been my entertainment for the morning! I am 26 years old and I have a 10 year old step daughter (and a year old son). So it wasnt all that long ago that I was a teenager and I am about to have one here shortly.

 

I think that it completely depends on the child. When I was 10 years old I was able to roam the mall with a friend by ourselves. And when we went on vacation my brother and I were able to roam the campgroup (we didn’t cruise) or walk over to the store by ourselves, roam around state fairs pretty much do whatever we wanted as long as we checked in. I had A LOT of independence. More than I would probably give my own children. My parents were leaving me home alone at 8. However, this independence made me who I am today.

 

Do I plan on giving my step daughter the same independence? No, but here is why. My step daughter is sweet and smart. But she does not have common sense (turns out common sense isn’t so common!) I would give her a little freedom getting Icecream or running to the room to grab something, then increasing her independence as she gets more comfortable and more aware. We are planning a vacation next year with Friends who have a daughter her age and I would allow her to roam the ship with her friend for a short amount of time maybe 30 minutes. But I trust the 2 of them together. DH and I would not let her roam free in port. The point of family vacay is to spend time with each other.

 

I think each child is different, and each parent is different. We all decided to parent our children different ways. Just because a parent allows their child to roam at 12 doesn’t make them a bad parent. Nor does the parent who bubble wraps their child. As a parent we do what we think is best for our children. Everyone will not agree with us and that’s OK! Having a 1 year old I have been on a lot of baby forums, people argue about vaccination their child, Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, making your own food. We all have our own opinions on these subjects and we will always have them, but it’s not worth the argument.

 

“Our job is not to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. Our job is to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” L.R. Knost

 

 

Wow I absolutely love that quote. I have never heard it before but it's so excellent.

I think alot of what has happened on this thread is too many generalizations. When someone says they let their child roam around, I interpret that (perhaps incorrectly) to mean off wandering around alone for long periods of time. An OP later came back and said they only meant to go off and get a slice of pizza. I don't think too many parents would have a problem with a child going to get a slice of pizza, or running back to the cabin to pick something up. To me, that was not the original message that was being posted. Anyway, to each their own. According to some on these boards, I would be seen as an "overprotective" parent because I rasied my child to WANT to be with her family, and not to feel the NEED to be away from us all the time. She did spend time with friends away from us, and on her own, travelling with the school on trips, but always preferred to be with family. She is turning 20 next month and is in University. She is incredibly street smart, has tons of friends, bit still loves to come home often. She is doing a semester abroad in Europe next year and while I will miss her horribly I have encouraged her to do so as it's the experience of a lifetime. If anyone can call this an overprotective parent raising their child to live in fear and be dependent just because I wouldn't agree to have my child "roaming " around a ship at 12 years of age, then guilty as charged.

[T. Advisor King]

Well this thread has been my entertainment for the morning! ...

 

I think each child is different, and each parent is different. We all decided to parent our children different ways. Just because a parent allows their child to roam at 12 doesn’t make them a bad parent. ...

 

Ultimately, this was the point made by an earlier poster that I agreed with and with which some took issue, resulting in a long debate. Needless to say, I agree with you!

[Kova15]

Boyle- Your daughter will be fine in Europe. I went when I was in college I lived in Sweden for a semester and it was the best time in my life! Just remind her to always be aware of where she is and the people around her and she will be fine! Good Judgement and awareness goes a LONG way.

[mum2bradley]

We were on the Breeze over Christmas. My son is 15 and went to Club 02. He is on the shy side so it took him a while to find other kids like him.

 

There were kids (not my son) that were drinking, but they were not drinking in the Club they were doing it else where and then hanging out on the ship. While we were in line to go snorkelling in Aruba one of the kids from camp, my son didn't know him, was in line behind us talking to how they were going to try and smuggle booze back on the ship. My son said it was the same kids over and over that would brag in camp the next day how they had been drinking the night before.

 

My son hung out in camp quite a bit or they would go to the library and play cards, domino's, board games or be somewhere eating. He had a curfew of 12:00 each night and obeyed it. He came back one night and asked to stay out till 12:30. His group was pretty quite and I never saw them disturbing anyone as I would not tolerate it. I don't understand how these parents do not know their kids are sneaking booze on and drinking. But some of them were taking it from their parents so maybe they don't care.

 

I wouldn't put any of the blame on Carnival.

[pecandelight]

While walking on deck at night we saw two older kids (18-19) smoking weed. No biggie to me - to each his own. Kids will find a way to drink or smoke if they want.

[gracie65]

Was Justin Bieber the activities director?

 

 

OMG I am glad I didn't have anything in my mouth as it would have come flying out and hit the computer screen it made me laugh so hard!!

Where is that LIKE button when you need it!!