Teenagers?

[hate2shop]

A cruise is as safe or dangerous as any other vacation. If you want to find trouble you can, but you can also have a great time with no issues and meet lots of new and great friends. Some of these people make it sound like a cruise is most dangerous vacation you can take and would not do it that is just not the case. It is no different then any place else you go in life.

 

Agree with this :)

My teens had a great time on their first cruise last spring break, so much so we're doing another one this year. They spent almost all their time hanging out with us. After excursions and being in the sun all day they went to bed fairly early, much earlier than at home. Hard to burn the candle at both ends.

There are some things she can do like put a daily spending limit on her S&S card, having her card flagged so she can't debark alone, and having the mini bar emptied if it makes her feel better.

[A&Jfamily]

There really are no limits on a cruise ship for 12+. All the programs are conducted simply by showing up after mom/dad registers them the first day. Mom/dad needs to come up with rules and perhaps check in times and their own curfew with strict consequences. For example my kids are required to have dinner with the family at 6, clean and dressed appropriately. The one time my oldest was not, I confined him to the room for night. If he wanted to eat he had to order room service. He missed out on all the nights activities. Never happened again.

 

My youngest is to back in the room by 10. My oldest, 16, doesn't need a curfew and will bring himself in by 2. But he is the farthest thing from a trouble maker and is very cautious by nature. And for personal reasons he will not touch alcohol.

 

If my child was wilder I would take walkies and set a curfew. The problem is parent is going to have to stay up late if they want to make sure child is in. Many activities that are organized go until 1 or later. Mine are in a separate room so they have to be trusted. With a wilder child they would need to be in the room with me.

 

Hope that helps.

[In2why]

It isn't Carnival specific. It is more a matter of what you said, a teen looking for trouble will find it.

 

The only thing I didn't see mentioned is that I hope she is sharing a cabin with her parents and not siblings or your kids. That seems like a problem waiting to happen.

[arpie05]

My son and I have a rule. He has always gone to the planned Club activities unless he tells me other wise. This can be as easy as going by room and leaving a note that says going to show from 10-11 pm. The kids activities for 15-17 end around 12:30 am so he would have a be in the room by time of 1 am. He came by a few trips at 12:30 and said they were headed for ice cream and pizza and he'd be back by 1:30. I made a point of going by the activities each day at some point to see if he was there. He would never know when I was so it could be 3 pm or 9 pm. I wouldn't even say hi. I just look and see him and not embarrass him by saying anything. Hope this helps.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[KatieBug28]

A cruise is as safe or dangerous as any other vacation. If you want to find trouble you can, but you can also have a great time with no issues and meet lots of new and great friends. Some of these people make it sound like a cruise is most dangerous vacation you can take and would not do it that is just not the case. It is no different then any place else you go in life.

 

I think this is the key. It's just as safe as you make it. I think the issue with cruising is that it becomes a situation where some choose to split up and let their kids go their own way. Which is great! There are tons of awesome activities for teens. But that doesn't mean that you get a complete vacation from being a parent. Yeah, it's a great chance to get a little space from one another, but just like at home, you have to set boundaries and rules. If you know a kid likes to push the limits, you may need to have a stricter set of rules and make them check in more frequently. But they can still have a wonderful and completely safe trip. Mom and Dad just can't expect that the crew and fellow passengers will do their parenting for them. And I think that's the same on ANY cruise line.

 

For what it's worth, we've only had a "party" atmosphere on one of the cruises we've been on, and that one left from New Orleans. I think the port had a lot to do with it. There were a lot of people combining a trip to Bourbon Street with a cruise. But on the others, I haven't noticed it very much at all. In fact, our last cruise out of Long Beach was absolutely full of families! Which was great, as we were cruising in the off season and were worried our kids would be the only ones! Also, longer cruises seem to have less of a party atmosphere, so they may want to look into a week long trip.

[mzloolue]

I don't think a cruise is as safe as a mall.

 

You don't spend an entire week at a mall. A mall doesn't have a couple thousand "bedrooms." Everybody in a mall doesn't have a key to their own "bedroom" right there at the mall. Plus there's lots of alcohol flowing and everybody is in vacation mode on a cruise ship.

 

This is true.

 

I have seen kids smoking something on deck late at night.

And some boys who had bought a blunt in Freeport smoking it on deck, fortunately they dropped it in the water while passing it.

(Kids think old ladies are ignorant. :) Like growing up in the 70s I saw nothing ;))

 

I have also seen them climbing up the front of the ship and standing on the railings.

(I just asked them if they had thought about how far away the emergency room was when they fall and break something. They got down, but who knows for how long)

 

And when cruising with my daughters I warned them numerous times about the buddy system and that any one of those doors could be into the bedroom of a pervert.

Edited February 24, 2015 by mzloolue

[amberxob]

Being honest I just turned 20 I've been cruising my whole life and I'll Tell you from experience. I know there's a lot of parents that think no not my kid but the truth is the teen clubs are horrible I've seen and know of alcohol poisoning, sex in the theater, fights, and drugs people sneak on in tampons the whole nine yards and stealing alcohol right out of the gift shops. The kids can get off the boat I have gotten on and off With my friends since freshman year of high school. And senior frogs and margaritaville serve who ever if you tip to be honest. On carnival there's no curfew and I've been on cruises that have them they say go back to your room and we say okay and walk away and go hang out some where else. It's up to the parents to control their kid just like you said kids can find trouble anywhere it doesn't matter on what cruise line.

[minnesotamamafish]

I have to commend you and her mother for planning ahead and asking for advice to prevent any problems before they occur. Too many times it is after the fact that something needs to be solved.

 

I suggest you search on the internet for "teen cruise contract." This question has been asked before, even on other message boards, and there are many possible answers out there. There are sample contracts to adapt to your situation that can be written out, discussed, and signed by the teen in advance.

 

The best idea I've seen is to have a specific list of rules and a specific set of consequences. That way, she knows what the rules are and she knows what will happen if she breaks them. I would use three strikes. First rule broken, "so and so" happens; second, worse consequence; third, she's glued to mom's hip for the rest of the cruise. Of course, if the rule breakage is bad enough, mom has the authority to jump to strike three!

 

It gives the teen full responsibility and the ability to think in the adult manner, "Is my potential punishment for doing this really worth it?" (I would also like to suggest, if she is behaving well she should get rewards, or positive reinforcement, for doing so. Seems only fair.)

 

I like the others' ideas to clean out the mini bar, flag card so she can't get off alone, and put a spending limit on her card. I would add to lock her phone in the safe without her having the access card or number. Kids these days are addicted to their phones and the web, but they are not aware how high a phone bill can get roaming internationally!

 

Good luck with all of this and I hope she is able to prove she can be trusted from now on. Happy cruising!

[ThePNVT]

Lots of helpful responses, guys, thank you!

 

Minnesota... This family has positive experiences with contracts and I was already talking to the mama about making one with her, I'm excited that there are samples online too and I'm gonna use lots of the advice from this thread to help her tailor one.

 

Just for clarification: this mama and her daughter are going on their own and sharing a room. I'm not going, just helping cause I'm a cruise geek :p;):cool: It's 20 below without the windchill here this morning. I wish more than anything I was going!

[minnesotamamafish]

Glad I was able to help!

 

At the risk of sounding like a therapist...

A teen is more likely to follow a rule put in place for a reason she understands versus a "stupid" rule she doesn't see the reason for. Make sure mom discusses the why's and what-ifs.

 

And make sure mom meets the kids she is hanging out with. If their energy is positive it will go a long way in making mom more comfortable when teen is out of sight. (Not foolproof against problems, but helpful.)

 

I wish them both the best!

[BK512]

I cruised last week with my 17yo son. He is, by and large, a rule follower. He met some great kids in the kids club, and they hung out all week. I'd walk through the Lido deck in the evening, and they'd be sitting out there, or in the buffet area, chatting and playing cards and such. He was allowed to hang out as late as 1am, and the last night 2am, because I know he isn't a drinker and has a level head. He was also given some guidelines as to expectations. Besides, 1am pizza on vacation? Sure!

 

However, on one of the sea days, I went in search of a quiet place to read. As I sat reading, a couple of girls and a younger boy sat near me. They were talking about another boy on board, and how cute he was. (not my son...they used a name). The younger boy said "Are you going to have sex with him?" and the girl replied "Not right away, but maybe later". The other girl said "What about your boyfriend at home?" and the girl said "One boyfriend here, one at home...they don't have to know"

 

When I related this conversation to my son, he knew exactly who the two girls were...he had avoided them for the most part all week.

 

So, bottom line, know your kid. Give them a realistic set of guidelines/consequences, but also remember that it is vacation. No going into cabins. No hanging out in the bars. Stay with a friend. Report back regularly...if you're not there, a post-it note on the mirror saying where you are is good. No getting off the ship without you. remind them that other countries have vastly different laws, and jails in those countries are ugly places to be. Encourage them to hang out with kids who aren't rule breakers. Or, get them one of those wrist leashes and let them be with you all week ;)

[bandnurse]

Here are the rules (cut and pasted from a post my DH made about rules for kids) that we laid down for our kids. Now they are 19 and 21, but most of the same rules apply (the 21 yo can go to serenity and they are old enough to go on the decks after dark without us)

 

I will add that we told the kids that if a guy you don't know starts a conversation ask him "what high school do you go to?"

 

Believe it our not, my DH got flamed in that thread, people saying we were too strict and the kids would not have any fun. Well, they had a blast and we feel that these are for their safety. They are great kids, but you never know what another persons intentions are toward your child!

 

My daughters were 14 and 16 on our first cruise. Here are the rules we set.

 

1. Use the buddy system.

2. Never go to someone’s room and especially never go in someone’s room.

3. Never let someone in our rooms.

4. Do not roam the state room parts of the ship. Stay in the public areas.

5. Treat the halls like a hotel. Be quiet. Don’t let the door slam.

6. Remember elevator etiquette.

7. Use the stairs if only going up 1 deck, or down 2 decks.

8. Dress to go in the dining areas. Use a cover over bathing suites.

9. Stay out of adult only areas. May walk through casino, if necessary.

10. Never take a drink from any one.

11. Never leave your drink unattended. If you do get a new drink.

12. Not allowed on the exposed decks after dark.

[fishinjunkie]

I am replying to this on my mother's account to help clarify these misconceptions. I am a 17 yr.girl and have been in over 10 teen clubs on cruises. If your child Is responsible and is trustworthy then you will have no problems. On all th cruises I have been on I have seen no teen drinking through the teen club or drug use. I find it easy to stay out of trouble. Whereas trouble is everywhere a teen goes. Those who say things about meeting older guys, that happens everywhere and you honestly can't control it. My last point mostly is few teens I making it a bad name for the rest of us. If you have anymore questions feel free to comment.

[SlotCarKing]

If the girl lost her folks' trust at home, I don't see any reason she should get it back just because the family is on vacation. And a ship is a terrible place for a troubled teen, basically infinite spots for misbehavior. Your friend will need a super tight leash and some extra eyes.

[ThePNVT]

Still reading, thanks for the input, I'm keeping notes. Great to hear from an actual teen, fishinjunkie, thanks!

[cruizinisthebest]

If she's a behavior problem at home, she'll be a behavior problem on vacation. ANY vacation. Has nothing to do with cruises specifically.

 

All kids do things. But if you have to put feelers out ahead of time to see just how much trouble can find, that's a problem.

 

We took 4 girls on a convention in Orlando about 8 years. One of them I knew should not have been allowed to go. But everyone went over my head and allowed her to go anyway. She was trouble the entire time. Made the trip miserable for everyone else. Not sure why anyone thought she would be better away from home than she was AT home. If a teenager or any other person is determined to find trouble, they will. There are tons of safe, fun, wholesome things to do onboard if she wants to. She can also go and be a complete PITA.

[jp30338]

LOL, all the gloom and doom of a teen on a cruise, lmfao!!

 

You people act like its a free for all alcohol induced orgy/sex club for teens with pedophiles lurking around every corner, when its clearly not! R E L A X- As per the great Aaron Rodgers would say.

 

You people do realize that drinking, drugs, and sex happen in real life too not just cruises....:rolleyes: And it is far less likely to happen on a cruise line just due to the amount of families and confined spaces with LOTS of adults and staff.

Edited February 25, 2015 by jp30338

[Cruising4]

Just off the Breeze with a 15 and 16 year old.

 

They were booked into an inside cabin across the hall. Their mini-bar was LOCKED, I was going to empty it and noticed it was locked.

 

In the mad crush of humanity getting off the ship in Aruba all four of us were separated; just a few people in between each of us. DS15 was the last of our group to get off and was stopped by security asking where were his parents. DH and I were just past the security checkpoint and said he was with us. The 16 year old was not stopped. The security guy told me to "make sure we stay together when getting off the ship".

 

No curfew for teens like on NCL which has and enforces a 1 a.m. curfew.

 

If the kids are in a different cabin you can get additional room keys from guest services.

[SadieN]

For our kids in a different cabin we had them call when they got back to the cabin. We called back immediately to confirm they were actually IN the cabin.

 

On road trips the HS marching band parents would put tape on the kids' doors and doorjamb. If the tape was not attached in the morning there were penalties.

[dave_k58]

I think this is the key. It's just as safe as you make it. I think the issue with cruising is that it becomes a situation where some choose to split up and let their kids go their own way. Which is great! There are tons of awesome activities for teens. But that doesn't mean that you get a complete vacation from being a parent. Yeah, it's a great chance to get a little space from one another, but just like at home, you have to set boundaries and rules. If you know a kid likes to push the limits, you may need to have a stricter set of rules and make them check in more frequently. But they can still have a wonderful and completely safe trip. Mom and Dad just can't expect that the crew and fellow passengers will do their parenting for them. And I think that's the same on ANY cruise line.

 

For what it's worth, we've only had a "party" atmosphere on one of the cruises we've been on, and that one left from New Orleans. I think the port had a lot to do with it. There were a lot of people combining a trip to Bourbon Street with a cruise. But on the others, I haven't noticed it very much at all. In fact, our last cruise out of Long Beach was absolutely full of families! Which was great, as we were cruising in the off season and were worried our kids would be the only ones! Also, longer cruises seem to have less of a party atmosphere, so they may want to look into a week long trip.

 

The one cruise we had the " party cruise" issue was the one out of NOLA too. Don't know what it is about that port. Actually, I do lol