Ideas for a Quiet Memorial?

[ILvisitor]

What did you end up doing? I will be on a cruise in June and we would like to do something for our daughter (she would of been 10 this year).

 

Thanks.

[Cruisin' Chick]

I realize by the sailing date mentioned, the OP has already gone on her cruise, but I can see that many were assuming she was on this cruise line or that one. I don't think she even mentioned which ship.

[sail7seas]

Just another thought, but have you considered a "place setting" at the table that evening? Having him "on the cruise" with you in that way.

 

I have seen this done once. An older gentlemen and his children celebrating his late wife's life by having a place setting and them toasting her. I found out later that it would have been their wedding anniversary and they always cruised. The family used the cruise to remember and not to mourn.

 

OP, my most sincere condolences. This has to have been a horrid year.

 

As a new widow, may I suggest you think very carefully before using this 'place setting' at the table idea. That would turn me off the edge were I to walk to our table and see the empty seat saved for my DH who no matter how much I want him there, will not be joining me. PLEASE don't do that. I have tears on my cheeks just thinking about it. When I go out to dinner with any of the couples we always dined with, I hate the sight of that 'empty chair'.

 

It may sound all warm and fuzzy for some people but for others it could be very traumatic. Don't risk doing that to your sister. You can't usually predict in advance.

 

Best wishes to you and your family.

 

Edited May 12, 2015 by sail7seas

[sail7seas]

Oops, I didn't notice OP sailed in April.

 

Maybe my post might be helpful for someone else. :o

 

[4boysnana]

Oh my goodness..... Your story is sad yet beautiful. I agree that sharing is all part of the healing process. I did discuss with my sister and she was happy to hear that we would not let his one year pass without a "quiet memorial." She also agreed that the calming seas would help the day pass without being at home alone grieving. I have his pictures packed, battery candles, and notes.

"Time is not measured by the minutes we are here on earth, but by the moments."

 

The sea is so beautiful and powerful and I hope every wave brings you peace. In our family we have saying that we use often.

 

I love you more than all the stars in the sky and all the sand in the ocean.

 

Love continues and it sounds like you have a sweet plan. I hope it is a balm to your sadness.

 

4boysnana

[Karaoke_Nadine]

Thanks for the reminder that I should've posted the outcome.

Here is how we/I planned the day.

The eve, before the actual day, we were at sea. There was a full moon and we sat on the top deck and told "Daniel" stories. We laughed, then cried, and then laughed some more. We wrote notes in small bottles and were tempted to throw overboard, but we decided to dig them in the sand at our next port.

Day of, was a sea day. After dinner, ( I did not do the empty chair as we were a group of 7 and there wasn't any room at our dining table) we went to our balconies and put on music (with my blue tooth speaker), our battery candles, and his picture on a table.

I purchased an Origami Owl necklace with memorial charms and presented it to her.. She actually held up very well. She loovved the necklace. It had charms of; angel wings, his initials, music notes, his birthstones, and a heart that said "son" and "in memory of."

We were actually not on a Carnival ship. We were on MSC's Divina. There was a Michael Jackson tribute on Daniel's day and it was sooo emotional. MJ was Daniel's idol when he was growing up.

Thanks for all the great blessings here and all the advice. I sure hope this post will help others with ideas, and healing. Being on a cruise helped in the healing process.....being in the open water, and open skies at night makes you feel as close to heaven as you're going to get.

Mom, did have quiet time at the very end of the evening all by herself and told me she got some good tears out.

We have planned and booked next years cruise already. Hopefully, an annual event.

[NMLady]

Thanks for the reminder that I should've posted the outcome.

Here is how we/I planned the day.

The eve, before the actual day, we were at sea. There was a full moon and we sat on the top deck and told "Daniel" stories. We laughed, then cried, and then laughed some more. We wrote notes in small bottles and were tempted to throw overboard, but we decided to dig them in the sand at our next port.

Day of, was a sea day. After dinner, ( I did not do the empty chair as we were a group of 7 and there wasn't any room at our dining table) we went to our balconies and put on music (with my blue tooth speaker), our battery candles, and his picture on a table.

I purchased an Origami Owl necklace with memorial charms and presented it to her.. She actually held up very well. She loovved the necklace. It had charms of; angel wings, his initials, music notes, his birthstones, and a heart that said "son" and "in memory of."

We were actually not on a Carnival ship. We were on MSC's Divina. There was a Michael Jackson tribute on Daniel's day and it was sooo emotional. MJ was Daniel's idol when he was growing up.

Thanks for all the great blessings here and all the advice. I sure hope this post will help others with ideas, and healing. Being on a cruise helped in the healing process.....being in the open water, and open skies at night makes you feel as close to heaven as you're going to get.

Mom, did have quiet time at the very end of the evening all by herself and told me she got some good tears out.

We have planned and booked next years cruise already. Hopefully, an annual event.

 

Thank you for the update. I really appreciate it. Sounds like a good day that will make subsequent year anniversary easier with warm memories.

I would think that sharing stories was very healing.