Help Me Please

[nugsmom]

I am about 5'3" and weigh about 170. I have never been this big before and have trouble finding the right clothes. I tend to migrate to things that used to fit. I am 50 yrs. old and don't want to look like I am trying to be a teenie bopper, but at the same time don't want to look "elderly". My main problem, which seems to run in my family, is my belly. I used to look at my mom and grandmother and think "why in the world did they let themselves get like that", now I unfortunately am there! I need clothes that hide the belly but don't look like maternity clothes. I know someone on here can help me because it seems you gals always have a solution. I know that the type of clothes you wear can really make or break you. If any of you happen to be my size, or just happen to be really good at knowing what to wear, please give me some advice. I wear anywhere from a 14-16.

[Barb_and_Sean]

how about empire-waisted dresses? I know that I seem to find weight more than I lose it, so that style of dress can be really flattering without looking matronly. I just bought a gorgeous empire waisted formal gown that skims the belly and it very comfortable too.

 

Good luck and have a wonderful time!!!!

[Nliedel]

There are advantages to being adopted like I am. I never saw what I am going to look like when I am older! My sisters in law both state "We will NEVER look like Mom" well guess who they look like? Lol.

 

I am 5'2" and 170 now and to me that is thin (I was 320) so it is all perspective.

 

I dress in figure flattering clothing that is fitted. DO NOT wear all loose clothes, it will increas how large you look. I have sleeveless formal dresses. No one is fooled by sleeves and they look matronly. Also the empire waist is an excellent idea BUT make sure it is fitted well through the ribcage. It should emphasize the smallest part of your torso, right below the breasts. If you have large breasts however the Empire waist is going to emphasize them.

 

A lines are lovely too. My formal for the second night (I carry weight in my hind end) is A line. Very close fitting in the chest.

 

You are going to have to go out shopping with a trusted friend. Try on things you have not before, try on things you do not think you will look good in. Stand back and REALLY be honest. Do not focus on your tummy, rather the overall effect.

 

You will be fine. Just don't beat yourself up about it.

[Nliedel]

There are advantages to being adopted like I am. I never saw what I am going to look like when I am older! My sisters in law both state "We will NEVER look like Mom" well guess who they look like? Lol.

 

I am 5'2" and 170 now and to me that is thin (I was 320) so it is all perspective.

 

I dress in figure flattering clothing that is fitted. DO NOT wear all loose clothes, it will increas how large you look. I have sleeveless formal dresses. No one is fooled by sleeves and they look matronly. Also the empire waist is an excellent idea BUT make sure it is fitted well through the ribcage. It should emphasize the smallest part of your torso, right below the breasts. If you have large breasts however the Empire waist is going to emphasize them.

 

A lines are lovely too. My formal for the second night (I carry weight in my hind end) is A line. Very close fitting in the chest.

 

You are going to have to go out shopping with a trusted friend. Try on things you have not before, try on things you do not think you will look good in. Stand back and REALLY be honest. Do not focus on your tummy, rather the overall effect.

 

You will be fine. Just don't beat yourself up about it.

[BlueHerons]

I dress in figure flattering clothing that is fitted. DO NOT wear all loose clothes, it will increas how large you look. I have sleeveless formal dresses. No one is fooled by sleeves and they look matronly. Also the empire waist is an excellent idea BUT make sure it is fitted well through the ribcage. It should emphasize the smallest part of your torso, right below the breasts. If you have large breasts however the Empire waist is going to emphasize them.

 

A lines are lovely too. My formal for the second night (I carry weight in my hind end) is A line. Very close fitting in the chest.

 

.

 

Exactly. You need to purchase your clothes that fit, find a good tailor, and spend money on good undergarments (they help your clothes fit properly; a good bra will make a jacket and shirts fit so much better).

 

Not sure about the empire dresses because of your height and they may look too mu mu-ish on you.

 

Skirts to the top of the calf or above the knee, all one color will elongate you, and look for jackets that hit you just at mid hip.

[MrsMoose2001]

I was thin and gained weight from the drugs I take so I know what you are talking about.

 

I would suggest wearing black and pants. Evening pant suits like a ladies style tuxedo. I'm not tall at 5'4" and even when I was thin (size 2 - 4) I found that a long skirt did not work to my advantage.

 

Also if you have a belly, I would avoid belts and shirts tucked in.

 

I agree with the other poster, not too loose, but not to tight, too tight and it makes you look bigger.

 

What I found also is that what another poster said, you have to spend a bit more money on good clothing, and underwear.

 

Good luck

[beth4652]

I'm 59 years old, 4'11" and about 160, thanks to 7 kids. I buy most of my clothes from catalogs. Draper and Damon, Brownstone Studios, Willow Ridge, Bedford Fair and Blair carry large petite sizes. Even at that, I need my wonderful tailor, Matthew. Everything still has to be shortened and either taken in for my legs and arms or let out for my belly. I can sometimes find larger petites sized at JC Penney.

[girlbuffalo1]

I agree with the other posters--you need to wear fitted clothing. Also something that brings in the illusion of a smaller waist will work to your advantage. I can't imagine that at a size 14-16 your waist could be all that big--if you have an hour glass type figure you may want to go with a black or dark colored long dress with a sash or ribbon around the mid section to break off your top from your bottom and give the illusion of a cinched in waist. If you carry all of your weight around your middle than you may want to go for a look with a dress and jacket combo. My mother is a size 18 and for my wedding coming up is wearing a very elegant long navy dress which is rather fitted--but with a sparkly jacket over top with 1 rhineston button as a closure--I think it is very flattering on her and she carries ALL of her weight in her stomach.

 

Good luck! and i'm sure you will look quite beautiful on your cruise!

[Happy ks]

I don't know if I would do empire waist, I carry my weight in the middle and it only makes me look pregnant.

 

I have to agree with the fitted look. Buy seperates, that way you can get a different size for the bottom than you do for the top. Stay away from anything in a rectangular shape, such as a jumper. Luck for you, tunic style tops are now back in fashion. But, be careful with the shape there, too, rectangular will only make you look matronly.

 

There are some wonderful elastic waist pants out there that are slimming, rather than having too much extra fabric. Again, watch the shape of the leg, you want a more fitted shape in the thigh area and a boot cut towards the bottom.

 

I hope some of this helps. It would be great to have a trusted friend go shopping with you. If you live near a major department store, sometimes they have personal shoppers who can help you find what works best for you. Finally, buy the best quality you can afford, it really does pay in the long run.

[LandLockedInAZ]

I think you've gotten some really good advice here, but I thought I'd throw this in. I found a book called What Not To Wear by Trinny Woodall and Susanah Constantine (the hosts of the original BBC production- not the rude hosts of the US version of this show). http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=z0s1KYNOLV&isbn=1573223573&itm=2

They show which types of clothing will work to disguise each flawed area of the body and even show their own flaws, so we know they are human! This book has helped me tremendously!

[voyageur]

I agree with everyone who says the clothes must fit properly... not loose or too tight. But I'd like to add:

Wear clothes that show-off your good points... nice legs, beautiful neckline, cleavage, etc. That will take peoples' eyes elsewhere... away from the things you wish to downplay.

[Bigoldhag]

I thought you were talking about me when I read your post! I am 46, 5'2 and 170 lbs. and it is almost all belly. Too bad we don't live close we could shop together. I lived in Chester, VA until 2001 when we moved to PA. Here we have a store called CJ Banks, it is for larger women and their size 16s fit me perfectly. I am sorry to say that I can't help you much but I do feel your pain, it is VERY difficult to find clothes that look nice but are comfortable at the same time. I have found that the more expensive clothes (I like Liz Claiborne) seem to fit me better, so I shop clearance sales alot.

[Tallcruiser]

Hi nugsmom,

Fancy meeting you here? I don't remeber you looking anything like you discribe. Except for the tiny part. LOL. Are you asking about Cruise ware or for everyday? I think only comfortable loose straight lines for travel are pretty good. Have you ever tried the "slinky" brand of clothing. It kind of glides over any imperfection and all the pieces can be washed out in a sink if need be. Best of all they don't wrinkle or have a "season". They are sold on HSN or QVC. Similar brands are sold at some department stores like Nordstroms.

Solid colors are slimming and easy to mix and match.

Where are you cruiseing next?

50!? I thought you were still wearing a Pink hat? Happy Reduation!

:D Tallcruiser

[MrsMoose2001]

I don't know what your budget is or what stores are near you, but one label that works really well from size 10 - 22 is Marina Rinaldi. Beautiful clothing, very fashionalbe, classy and trendy.

 

It's just a suggestion as I don't know your budget or if you can find it where you live as it's not always easy to get. Only one store here where I live sells it, and usually they have to call Toronto.

 

Good luck

[Jane110]

I don't know what your budget is or what stores are near you, but one label that works really well from size 10 - 22 is Marina Rinaldi. Beautiful clothing, very fashionalbe, classy and trendy.

 

It's just a suggestion as I don't know your budget or if you can find it where you live as it's not always easy to get. Only one store here where I live sells it, and usually they have to call Toronto.

 

Good luck

 

Mrs Moose,

 

A good friend of mine who's a size 18 and about 5'4" just bought herself a pair of Marina Rinaldi pants. She's had some big weight gains in the past couple of years and was formally a size 10. She never wanted to spend the money on "good" clothes figuring she'd lose the weight. Well, she's now rethought things and is tired of not looking well dressed and though she's still hoping to lose the weight, she's decided to invest in a few good well tailored "hard" pieces (jkt/pant/skirt). She'll wear them to death. If whe weight comes off she'll get rid of them.

 

So, she was in Sak's and invested $400. in a pair of Marina Rinaldi silk/wool tailored pants. They look incredible on her and fit her to a tee. She'll be able to wear them for biz during the day as well as for evenings out. Then, she happened to be in Daffy's (a discount store) and saw a skirt suit by Marina Rinaldi marked down to $80.00! Turns out, it's the same shade of black as the pants and so now she has a skirt suit as well as a pant suit for $480.00. Utter luck and she's been dancing around her house all week!

 

I agree with all the posters who say not to wear baggy clothes. Of course, too tight doesn't look well on anyone, but oversized clothing just makes everyone look bigger and doesn't highlight any of the good points you want to show off. Clothes that are close to the body look best.

 

Also, elastic waist pants are a big no-no for those with a small waist and big bottom. I'm a size 6 and I'm shaped this way and the problem is that to have enough elastic and fabric to go over the hips, means that once the pants are on, you'll have lots of excess in that upper hip area between the waist and butt. It's never a good look - visually, it adds pounds and it's very matronly looking. I think that elastic in the waist is best for women with wider waists and smaller hips.

 

Jane

[spoonful]

Love Trinny and Susan.

 

I completely identify with the OP. While I don't have a lot of weight, the fat i do have is very inconveniently located. Most of the women in my family carry weight in their bellies and i am no excpetion. I also have narrow hips which can make my belly seem bigger. I would rather carry my weight on my hips or butt because it seems so much easier to dress the pear shape than the apple shape. But, i got what i got. i could loose weight and go from an apple to, say, a celery, but the hourglass figure is just not in my genetics.

 

I stay away from dresses or any flimsy fabric in general. I need structure (as trinny and Susan would say) and i need something that "creates" a shape for me. Fabric that "skims" over other people's hourglass figures usually just look like a tent on me. Cotton, linen and courderoy are my friends while satin is just evil on me. Denim with lycra is heaven.

 

My pants are all boot cut or slightly wide leg because it creates one long line down from hip to shoe. A tuxedo pant or thin vertial pinstriping is good. My skirts are usually at least A line but often very full skirt to bring the eye down and to creat the appearance of hips. I also always wear dark color on top and light on bottom. Many women have lots of black pants but I only own one pair of black pants because they generally make me look more top heavy that any other color unless i am wearing a black top. I always stick with skirts and pants though becuase dresses, with few exceptions, creates the tent effect. Empire waists are very tent like for me. think Pea in the Pod.

 

High waisted pants and tappered legs are also my enemy. I have low or lower rise to cut across the middle or slightly above. Not britnney spears low rise, though. this may sound antithetical but it is true. high waisted pants (or mom jeans ala SNL, no offense mom) simply encase the fat in an easy to point out pouch.

 

In general, you gotta just try things on. Once you find the right kinds of pants or fabric that work, it will be much easier. I used to just wear lots of baggy clothes. Baggy was easy but baggy was also dumpy. It took me a while to break out of that and find what works. Now i can eyeball something and immediately know that will be a wasted trip to the fitting room (ie high waist, tappered leg, no stretch).

[bobby'sgirl]

Mrs. Moose and Jane:

Where do you suggest looking for Marina Rinaldi clothing in Canada, especially Toronto. I am looking for investment pieces to add to my wardrobe. Enjoy reading your comments.

[Soxfan05]

One really important thing to remember is just because you are vertically challenged, it doesn't neccessarily mean you need to shop in the petite department for ALL of your clothes. You may find that you need the petite size for pants because of your inseam but a petite top might not fit properly or visa versa. I'd look for great quality separates that you can mix and match. I agree with going monochromatic. It gives a nice line and will elongate and slim. I also think that tops that are a little fitted with vertical lines and a v neck are very flattering on most women. Another no no is pegged or tapered leg pants. They don't do a woman's body justice especially if she carries weight in the tummy.

[MrsMoose2001]

Hi,

Holts in Canada used to have Marina Rinaldi, and probably Vancouver also. I don't know if Vancouver or TO has a free standing store.

 

These days I call Saks or NYC to ship to me and bite the bullet on customs.

 

Marina Rinaldi starts at size 10 US but they have a different sizing than that so you have to ask.

 

Jane, your friend is lucky, is Daffy worth going to? I've never been in there.

 

Marina Rinaldi is great for tops for me, pants I usually can buy any brand regular, it's the tops because of my "bust" I love their jackets and sweaters and blouses.

 

Another good brand is Eskander but it generally works better for tall ladies but some of the tops work well for short ladies as well, it's not plus size, just a cut that is large, very often too large for me.

[nugsmom]

Thanks so much for all your replies! And hello Robin! Good to see you. I don't know what you remember, but I've added about 20 lbs. since you last saw me! And like so many others said, it all seems to be in the belly. I am going to print this off and try to remember it when I go shopping again! Bigolehag, I wish you were still in Chester; we could definitely go shopping together! Most of my friends are way different shapes than me, most are smaller or either way bigger, so I don't feel like they could help me. I am going to check out that book too, what not to wear. But I have a co-worker who always watches that on tv and she has changed her clothing because of it. But she must not watch it right or understand it, because she wears some of the most gawdawful things that do nothing for her. She thinks they are wonderful, tho, so I guess if it makes her feel good about herself....