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furious w/ RCCL...and cozumel....

mpffls

By mpffls,
in Royal Caribbean International

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arabrab

arabrab

Posted
Posted

I think that the OP needs to sit down, have a glass of wine or two, and reflect on what's really important about weddings and marriages. It isn't about whether they go off just perfectly or not, whether the gown was designer or not, or how much the bride's mother wants to show up the bride's father's current wife.

 

We'll be celebrating our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this year and while we certainly enjoyed our wedding it isn't in the top hundred things that I think are best about our marriage. How sad it would be if that were the case.

 

My mother-in-law, who's a wonderful person, was very upset at the time that beer (in bottles!) was going to be available at the wedding, and that we were only having cold foods and strawberry shortcake instead of a traditional wedding cake because I can't stand wedding cake frosting -- at least of the kind that was available 25 years ago. My mom showed up with hair colored a delicate shade of Martian green (let's just say that she and Lady Clairol hadn't quite gotten along), and that was long before green hair was in. But folks had a great time and didn't want to leave. We heard from friends for years how very much they'd enjoyed our wedding. It was the wedding we could afford, and we started marriage with not a lot of money but with a lot of joy.

 

Life happens. Babies don't get born on their due dates, I needed an appendectomy the night of my daughter's school play, relatives get sick and die. You're not G-D, lots is out of your control, and finding something else to do with your time other than harass Royal Caribbean would be a blessing for everyone concerned. Even without a series of hurricanes that have left hundreds of thousands needing new homes, things can happen. Ships have thruster problems, Norwalk virus goes around, a passenger could require emergency evacuation off the sports deck where you'd planned your wedding, and rain is an ever present possiblity.

 

I hope one memory your daughter and son-in-law take away from their wedding is that you were happy, supportive, and flexible rather than shrill and demanding of perfection. In many ways, I think that it is the small things that go wrong that make weddings memorable in very good ways. Mom's green hair is a great example. Setting up expectations that everything is going to have to go exactly as planned is pretty much a guarantee that you're going to be disappointed.

 

You can decide to be happy, or you can decide to be mad. You can't decide where the ship will really stop, if everyone will be healthy on the day you've planned, or that the weather will cooperate with any of your plans. If it were me, I'd choose to be happy and enjoy the wedding and the cruise and quit worrying about all of the things you can't control. You've already taken a big step by deciding to have the official ceremony on land, so you can afford to be flexible about how things end up on the ship.

 

Cheers,

Barb

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smrtypnts

smrtypnts

Posted
Posted
Hi Syndyi... True, but He was good again, for I have one wonderful daughter-in-law, and another great one " waiting in the wings". I do admit there are many times I wanted a girl, but I think God gives us what we can handle!

 

While this is a bit off topic, i do NOT agree that God gives us what we can handle. If that were true, there would be no shaken baby syndrome, as no one would be flustered enough to do such a thing. And what about a nervous break down? Obviously, this is a person who isn't handling the stresses of life. Noooo, I have to disagree on that one. Sorry.

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Leafpeeper

Leafpeeper

Posted
Posted

At the time of the wedding everything has to be perfect, but later on it is the screwups that everybody laughs about.

 

I love to watch tv shows of wedding videos where crazy stuff happens. Formal weddings can be so booooring. Weather has probably destroyed alot of wedding receptions--but hopefully not alot of marriages. I enjoyed watching a segment on "DR. Phil" last year about brides who have never gotten over their wedding catastrophies.

 

Everyone knows that marriage is about the uniting of two people for life (we hope) and not the party after the ceremony.

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wolfganghowell

wolfganghowell

Posted
Posted

.....................OH..........................MY......................GOD

 

The OP actually called her new in law a "stepmonster" on a public board.

 

Pot.............meet...............Kettle....................

 

Thank you Mom for letting me plan my own wedding.

 

Yes, I do actually wish you and your daughter a nice wedding and a happy married life. BUT..............OH..............MY.................GOSH..................ALL..........THIS...DRAMA...........

 

I work with actors every day of my life for 22 years and this is rivalling anything they can throw at me.

 

If controlling a wedding is so important, it should be done in a controlled environment. A cruise ship and a foreign country is not a controlled environment.

 

Happy sailing to all.

 

(And yes, my mom took my overnight bag to the wrong hotel so on my wedding night when I got out of my dress and got in the bathtub while husband waited for the luggage to arrive so we could go to dinner together etc etc he had to take a cab across town to collect the car and the luggage while I sat in the hotel room wrapped in a towel since there was no way I was getting back in that dress!) Classic!

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cruzinsteve

cruzinsteve

Posted
Posted
I think that the OP needs to sit down, have a glass of wine or two, and reflect on what's really important about weddings and marriages. It isn't about whether they go off just perfectly or not, whether the gown was designer or not, or how much the bride's mother wants to show up the bride's father's current wife.

 

We'll be celebrating our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this year and while we certainly enjoyed our wedding it isn't in the top hundred things that I think are best about our marriage. How sad it would be if that were the case.

 

My mother-in-law, who's a wonderful person, was very upset at the time that beer (in bottles!) was going to be available at the wedding, and that we were only having cold foods and strawberry shortcake instead of a traditional wedding cake because I can't stand wedding cake frosting -- at least of the kind that was available 25 years ago. My mom showed up with hair colored a delicate shade of Martian green (let's just say that she and Lady Clairol hadn't quite gotten along), and that was long before green hair was in. But folks had a great time and didn't want to leave. We heard from friends for years how very much they'd enjoyed our wedding. It was the wedding we could afford, and we started marriage with not a lot of money but with a lot of joy.

 

Life happens. Babies don't get born on their due dates, I needed an appendectomy the night of my daughter's school play, relatives get sick and die. You're not G-D, lots is out of your control, and finding something else to do with your time other than harass Royal Caribbean would be a blessing for everyone concerned. Even without a series of hurricanes that have left hundreds of thousands needing new homes, things can happen. Ships have thruster problems, Norwalk virus goes around, a passenger could require emergency evacuation off the sports deck where you'd planned your wedding, and rain is an ever present possiblity.

 

I hope one memory your daughter and son-in-law take away from their wedding is that you were happy, supportive, and flexible rather than shrill and demanding of perfection. In many ways, I think that it is the small things that go wrong that make weddings memorable in very good ways. Mom's green hair is a great example. Setting up expectations that everything is going to have to go exactly as planned is pretty much a guarantee that you're going to be disappointed.

 

You can decide to be happy, or you can decide to be mad. You can't decide where the ship will really stop, if everyone will be healthy on the day you've planned, or that the weather will cooperate with any of your plans. If it were me, I'd choose to be happy and enjoy the wedding and the cruise and quit worrying about all of the things you can't control. You've already taken a big step by deciding to have the official ceremony on land, so you can afford to be flexible about how things end up on the ship.

 

Cheers,

Barb

 

I agree with this poster, its going to be no matter what, don't give yourself an ulcer. Life is to dang short, just go with it. "best laid plans of mice and men...".The daughter will remember only the good parts anyway, and the groom only cares about the wedding night!

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Laoghaire

Laoghaire

Posted
Posted

Hi smrtypnts...Obviously, you are taking my post too seriously. Yes, stress plays an important part in life, amd I have had my share...A 35 year old son with a spinal surgery that left him with his left leg handicapped (Thank God he isn't in a wheelchair, as he would have been a day later); another son, 38 yrs old with a stroke last year, and another hospital stay just a weeek ago: and a husband with two vascular surgeries in the last month.

So, let agree to diasagree, amd let it go at that....Helen

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Leafpeeper

Leafpeeper

Posted
Posted

Trish, I assume it is past final payment so you can't cancel and book another ship with a wedding chapel onboard. That would be my suggestion for anyone wanting a wedding ceremony on a ship in the future.

 

I think the Viking Crown Lounge is a wonderful location. We enjoy hanging out there on hot days and watching the pool activities. The views are breathtaking. I would keep that as a backup alternative and continue searching for a place in Cozumel. By the time the wedding comes along, I am sure your ship will be docking in Cozumel. It is the Voyager size ships that are being turned away right now.

 

Good luck and keep us updated on what the bride decides to do.

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smrtypnts

smrtypnts

Posted
Posted
.....................OH..........................MY......................GOD

 

The OP actually called her new in law a "stepmonster" on a public board.

 

 

No she didn't. She referred to her exhusband's new wife as her daughter's stepmonster. I understand why.

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smrtypnts

smrtypnts

Posted
Posted
Hi smrtypnts...Obviously, you are taking my post too seriously. Yes, stress plays an important part in life, amd I have had my share...A 35 year old son with a spinal surgery that left him with his left leg handicapped (Thank God he isn't in a wheelchair, as he would have been a day later); another son, 38 yrs old with a stroke last year, and another hospital stay just a weeek ago: and a husband with two vascular surgeries in the last month.

So, let agree to diasagree, amd let it go at that....Helen

 

I don't think we need to agree to disagree, but rather, that as you pointed out, maybe I just took it too literally. Clearly, you've had more than your fair share. I wish you well.

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mpffls

mpffls

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at this point it is down to no venue.....not details....but no venue... the starting point....

 

thewolfs.....on the ship before it sails.....RCCL said that since travel arrangements have already been made for those using there transportaion this si not an option....not to mention this is done thru royal romance and we are past the deadline for that.....all things must be finalized and paid for w/ no changes 30 days out......

 

syndyj.....am still not sure why you continue to focus on an issue that seems to have nothing to do with the problem.....we have no where for my daughter and her groom to say their vows....

 

as for your conclusion that it stems from the mother not having the wedding of her dreams......well my wedding was a fairry tale event....and there was nothing about it that was not wonderful...well except the groom!!!!....but at the time I thought he was wonderful also!!!!

 

The months leading up to the wedding were filled with parites, luncheons and teas. The actual ceremony took place in a beautiful chirch and the florst did an unbeleivable job. We had over 1000 guests...and at the receptionthere was more food and booze than you can imagine.....the flowers were fabulous with arrangemnts on the tables reaching 10 feet in the air......the orchestra played everything from fly me to the moon.... to mustang sally...the cake not only looked wonderful but tasted really good...everybody had a blast....and the party went way past midnight ......it was over the top......looking back now - it was over the top, but it was great!

 

and I more than anyone know that the wedding has nothing to do with the marrage......

 

symbolic is the term that they (RCCL) uses to mean that the cruise line does not have to be concerned with the legalities.....it is actually very common..especially when doing destination weddings

 

there are 2 aspects of the wedding ....the leagal papers that are filed at the state or local level........and the ceremony....where you say what ever. In the simbolic it si the responsibility of the couple to take care of the legalities. If we need to have RCCL be resonsible for this then we would have another problem, however since this is simbolic all we really need for them to do is give us a place to have it!!!!!

 

wolfganghowell.....so quick to judge.....you better go back and read the post... I did not refer to my daughters new inlaw as the step monster......if I felt that way about the grooms parents the correct term would be monster in law....I reffered to the bride's (my daughter) father's wife as step monster....and she is!

 

and finally...leeppeeper - final payment - we have our docs!!!!!!!!

 

heres hoping tomarrow brings some closure.........or at least a solution

 

trish

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syndyj

syndyj

Posted
Posted
at this point it is down to no venue.....not details....but no venue... the starting point....

 

thewolfs.....on the ship before it sails.....RCCL said that since travel arrangements have already been made for those using there transportaion this si not an option....not to mention this is done thru royal romance and we are past the deadline for that.....all things must be finalized and paid for w/ no changes 30 days out......

 

syndyj.....am still not sure why you continue to focus on an issue that seems to have nothing to do with the problem.....we have no where for my daughter and her groom to say their vows....

 

as for your conclusion that it stems from the mother not having the wedding of her dreams......well my wedding was a fairry tale event....and there was nothing about it that was not wonderful...well except the groom!!!!....but at the time I thought he was wonderful also!!!!

 

The months leading up to the wedding were filled with parites, luncheons and teas. The actual ceremony took place in a beautiful chirch and the florst did an unbeleivable job. We had over 1000 guests...and at the receptionthere was more food and booze than you can imagine.....the flowers were fabulous with arrangemnts on the tables reaching 10 feet in the air......the orchestra played everything from fly me to the moon.... to mustang sally...the cake not only looked wonderful but tasted really good...everybody had a blast....and the party went way past midnight ......it was over the top......looking back now - it was over the top, but it was great!

 

and I more than anyone know that the wedding has nothing to do with the marrage......

 

symbolic is the term that they (RCCL) uses to mean that the cruise line does not have to be concerned with the legalities.....it is actually very common..especially when doing destination weddings

 

there are 2 aspects of the wedding ....the leagal papers that are filed at the state or local level........and the ceremony....where you say what ever. In the simbolic it si the responsibility of the couple to take care of the legalities. If we need to have RCCL be resonsible for this then we would have another problem, however since this is simbolic all we really need for them to do is give us a place to have it!!!!!

 

wolfganghowell.....so quick to judge.....you better go back and read the post... I did not refer to my daughters new inlaw as the step monster......if I felt that way about the grooms parents the correct term would be monster in law....I reffered to the bride's (my daughter) father's wife as step monster....and she is!

 

and finally...leeppeeper - final payment - we have our docs!!!!!!!!

 

heres hoping tomarrow brings some closure.........or at least a solution

 

trish

 

 

Trish,

I am not focusing on the issue of not having a place to say their vows, you are. I am sure if it was a simple issue of just saying their vows you would not be venting on this forum. I am sure the bride to be and the groom can say their vows at a church, synagogue (sp), temple or some other location of their religious persuasion if all this was about was saying the vows. I am merely pointing out the obvious,you have lost control of this wedding and you are pissed, fate dealt you that hand, but the bottom line is, it is not your wedding, if you step back and take a look at the big picture, you will get my point.

 

I am sure it is hard to see all your hard work go down the drain, the plans for a romantic beach wedding ruined,that dress you spent so long picking out not being able to to reign in full glory, the whole idea of a wedding cruise to Mexico just crushed 4 weeks before the wedding date. Trust me, I would have felt the same way, however, I would salvage what I could, marry the man I love, even if it was at a church with only family present and make the entire cruise one big,long reception party, but hey, that's just me!!

 

I loved you description of your "fairry tale" event, sounds as if it was a perfect day with your 1000 guests (by the way did you really know 1000 people that you wanted to share your special day with at that time???), however, again, you miss my point. I never made an issue of wheter or not my theory on controlling moms had to do with not having a perfect wedding, I said the moms did not have the wedding that THEY wanted. I am sure you can agree a bride can have the most perfect of wedding days, imposed on her by someone else, she may even be made to believe it is what she really wants but deep down her idea of a fairry tale wedding was eloping.

 

I didn't read anywhere in your very nice description of your wedding day that it was the wedding YOU really wanted, did I miss the part where you said "my wedding day was exactly what I wanted, not what anyone else wanted for me" ????? Tell the truth now, did your parents influence your wedding day in any way,whose idea was it to have 10 feet tall centerpieces and 1000 guests ;) ?

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mpffls

mpffls

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syndyj....

 

my wedding was wonderful.....and I am sure, as you pointed out there are those that would not find it to be what they wanted...and pity the poor girl who is forced to have things on "her" day that she does not want... but I assure you that is not the case with my daughter....

 

did I plan my own wedding....no...did I have the know how to plan such an event ...no....and neither did anyone of us that married at that time.....but what went on in my wedding was not only what was expected, but was the norm for us at the time

 

different folks do different things.....have different expectations....was it my idea for the 10 ft centerpeices....don't be silly....that is why you hire a florist!!!!!

 

and the guest list....like I said it was the norm for those of us at the time

 

my only regret about my wedding....is that it was wasted on on what turned out to be "Mr oh-so wrong"....and he will be coming to this wedding

 

but we have gotten way off topic....

 

I wish it were easy...just the families in a chirch before the ship sails...but as I have said....RCCL made the travel arrangements for the father of the bride and the parents of the groom...and they will arrive just about as late is possible for the sailing...which I find strange RCCL would cut it so close...but it is not the 1st thing I find strange that RCCL has done

 

I suppose my latest frustration comes from the fact that the travel agent and myself have asked for over a week what venues and what times are available for this "saying of the vows"...we submit a location and a time they say no....we ask what is available....we get no answer.....we get another idea....and decide to try that....another no...and again we ask - what is available......it is a dance or a game that they seem to enjoy!

 

after telling us we could not have the sports deck....they come back late today and email the TA

 

"does your client realize that at 7 pm it will be dark on the sports deck"

 

hmmm....why is this an issue....you said we could not do it there....and we moved on!!!!!

 

they also seem obcessed with the question of ordering the cake....the one layer sheet cake with no decorations.......we have told them countless times that we do not want the cake like that..yet they continue to ask

 

perhaps we should decide on a plce for this...befor we discuss the details!!!!!

 

amazing.....

 

I hav never run across so many that had so little correct infomation and gave it so freely

 

so....

 

the TA says she has never encountered such a fiasco....

 

wll tune in tomarrow.....

 

trish

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xpcdoojk "Live from...." Rare

xpcdoojk

Posted
Posted

Your last post proved my entire points.

 

Mr O so wrong.

 

It is a freaking wedding not coronation of the queen.

 

It is far more important that the couple is well matched and that they love and respect each other. How many guests are at the wedding or reception is just the need to display ego. I gaurantee you that if there were 1000 people at your wedding, and I will be generous in my estimate. 20 were there because they loved you and wanted to help you start your life together with Mr O so wrong. 100 were there because their spouse drug them there. 880 were there because it was a social event and there would be food and drink.

 

jc

 

I wish you peace and happiness, not that it appears a chance you would recognize them if they happened. Good luck.

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xpcdoojk "Live from...." Rare

xpcdoojk

Posted
Posted

Your last post proved my entire points.

 

Mr O so wrong.

 

It is a freaking wedding not coronation of the queen.

 

It is far more important that the couple is well matched and that they love and respect each other. How many guests are at the wedding or reception is just the need to display ego. I gaurantee you that if there were 1000 people at your wedding, and I will be generous in my estimate. 20 were there because they loved you and wanted to help you start your life together with Mr O so wrong. 100 were there because their spouse drug them there. 880 were there because it was a social event and there would be food and drink.

 

jc

 

I wish you peace and happiness, not that it appears a chance you would recognize them if they happened. Good luck.

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Driftwoodgal

Driftwoodgal

Posted
Posted

xpcdoojk,

 

If you are a good Catholic and you have 12 brothers and sisters with spouses and kids, who would you cut from the invitation list? Those siblings have children and you now have tons of nieces and nephews, the numbers add up quickly.

 

I just love it when eveyone on a thread seems to KNOW everything about a posters situation, just from the posts that they make. I think at the very beginning of this thread the OP was just asking for suggestions about where to have the event.

 

I thought you were going on vacation and were glad that you didn't have to worry about this thread. Why do you think the OP can not find peace and happiness just because of this thread? By the way I hope you have a great get away:)

 

For those that think this should be in the movies or are only focused about the spelling on the thread, why don't you just move on to another thread that doesn't seem to upset you?

 

mppfls,

I hope things work out for you, and I for one wouldn't waste my time trying to convince people as to why you want a perfect wedding for your daughter. It seems to me you are making the best of what is being thrown your way. Hopefully things will start taking a turn in your favor.

 

 

Mea culpa to all if I used incorect grammer or spelling in the above post.

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