Is it too much to ask for parents to keep tabs on their own kids???

[bplazo]

Hi EmJake,

 

Yes it was my table, and on the same night I also had a young boy flinging ketchup on a spoon. The ketchup landed in some lady's hair a couple tables down. I had to laugh!

 

It was nice to meet you on the ship and your grandkids are so well behaved, I dont think you have to worry with them.

[zacksmom]

I don't know about longer cruises having fewer children. Maybe most of them, but ours was a Christmas cruise. Although it was 11 days, there were 350+ children on board. I would have welcomed the "yellow shirted" youth patrol!!!!

 

Glad to see I haven't been flamed for this thread. Thank you all for your maturity and thoughtfullness!

[EmJakeBubbie]

z's mom - I like what you write - no flaming from me! you do speak the truth. RCI should adopt the youth patrol-shirt approach (especially around the pools/hot tubs, etc.etc.). Brenda - EmJake called our CC gathering "Bubbie's Club" (... they had their "Adventure Ocean Club"). I thought that was a pretty good analogy;) I imagine you see "everything" working with the public. You must be a very patient personality. When's the next cruise?

[Bluedevil]

WE were sooo lucky. Just returned from 11 night NCL Majesty cruise and let me tell you, I could hardly tell there were any children on board at all.

The ones we did encounter were polite, acted sensibly and were supervised. Thank goodness.

[Katie333]

Nice thread, reasonable discussion. I'm definitely on board (ahem) with the "Sure, bring your kids, but you are still their parents, and you're in charge of keeping them happy, safe and well behaved"

 

This reminds me of a trip to Vegas recently ... which is a totally adult destination IMHO, as there is lots of drinking, gambling and other sordid evening pursuits all over the place. Even Vegas Tourism gave up on touting itself a possible 'family' destination some time ago. Regardless of all this, I have seen some pretty pathetic looking little kids (I mean under 10 yrs old) sitting alone in a row outside the casino. Honestly, some parents can be pretty selfish, not to mention putting your kids in an uncomfortable, unsafe situation. If you REALLY want to go to Vegas, try not to take your kids OR make sure you include them in some kid-friendly activities.

 

Happy cruising all!

[Arwenmark]

I was reading some posts on the family board and some of them made me cringe. "I let my 8 9 and 11 year old boys go off by themselves, they will show up when they need more quarters or the soda card!"

 

Probably the same ones that were thowing the ice cubes at me from a higher deck when I was sitting in the lobby.

[babytraveler]

What shocks me on these boards is that these kids are so misbehaved toward OTHERS.

 

Sometimes it is hard for kids to behave. It just becomes overwhelming to be still and do the right thing. In fact, that's why parents sometimes let kids get away with a little more than is proper. If they get a little leeway (so to speak), they won't have a total breakdown, which is so much worse.

 

My kids misbehave. But when they misbehave, it is something like going under the table at dinner, or whining, or throwing themselves down on the floor and crying in frustration. Or repeatedly poking at each other.

 

I can even see how it might be tempting to push the elevator buttons...

 

But never have they (or any of their friends) done something TO someone. These kids on ships seem to be doing things (ice cubs and ketchup) to be mean to others. That's hostile. That's not just misbehaving because of boredom, frustration, being overwhelmed, or simply exhuberant. Thats not normal kid behavior.

 

That's just weird.

[usgoobers5]

If you REALLY want to go to Vegas, try not to take your kids OR make sure you include them in some kid-friendly activities.

 

How about those parents here in California that went to Vegas for New Years Eve and left the kids at home! Of course they found a kennel for there dogs, because they were puppies. The kids I believe were 5 and 11, they had recently lost there biological mother to cancer. The dad and new wife, the kid's stepmother left them to fend for themselves. The new mother in law told her "wonderful" new daughter in law to take them with her. To which she replied "we are newlyweds, and need time for ourselves"! The Grandmother is the one who called the police and turned her idiot of a son and his new wife in to the authorities. :D

[lagrutke]

I read about that and the article said the 5 year old was autistic to boot!

 

I took my kids with us on a cruise on Dec 17th to the Mexican Riviera. There were 700+ kids on board! I have to say, I did not see any problems with all these kids, but most of the travelers were large family groups.

 

I did let my kids know before we were on board that the only thing I wanted to hear from anyone on the ship about them was how well behaved they were. And I did! I don't hit my kids, but they knew they would be in big trouble if they misbehaved.

[tropic of cancer]

I was on the Celebration last March during Spring Break. Over half of the folks on board were under 21(600 I believe). Did not see or hear of any problems. Everyone behaved and had a great time. I look forward to, and actually find cruising with all ages enjoyable.:)

[Arwenmark]

My kids misbehave. But when they misbehave, it is something like going under the table at dinner, or whining, or throwing themselves down on the floor and crying in frustration. Or repeatedly poking at each other.

 

That's just weird.

 

 

I am going to ask this, and I truly am NOT trying to start anything or insult you in any way whatever. in fact would love to hear what other parents would do as well.

 

If you were on a cruise at a table with others and your children did the things you describe above, You would do exactly what?

 

Tolerate it? tell them now now don't do that? Pick them up and leave the dining room? something else?

[VentureMan_2000]

If you were on a cruise at a table with others and your children did the things you describe above, You would do exactly what?

 

Tolerate it? tell them now now don't do that? Pick them up and leave the dining room? something else?

 

Myself, I did not bring my kids to the public dinning rooms or restaurants until I knew they had the skills down. We praticed at home first. And if they did not behaive out in public, I would be the one to pick them up and leave with them. This included crying. I have never subjected others to my kid's crying or misbehaiving. I take them outside every time... from newborn on up.

 

I've missed a few weddings, funeral services, dinners, and other events that my wife got to participate in, because I was taking a crying or misbehaiving child outside.

 

That's life... that's parenting...

 

Here's a hint:

 

If you bring a child with you on any trip, then the trip is about the child... and not about you. If you try to make it about you, then you won't be happy, the child won't be happy, and quite possibly other's around you will not be happy.

 

My kids are way past that now, and have great manners to the point that people go out of their way to tell us and complement us.

 

But I still don't want to bring my kids with me on a cruise. Why...? Because I want the cruise to be about me, and not the kids.:D

[obnurse]

I SO agree with you, VentureMan. We packed our dinner in "to go" containers many times while our kids were little. I love my kids but I don't expect strangers in dining establishments, theaters, etc to love them like I do. If they cried, got antsy or misbehaved they were removed. End of story. Now, thankfully, they're 13 and 20. They learned their manners some time ago! I can't wait to have grandchildren some day so I can watch MY kids pack up their dinners to go! :-)

[laughoutloud]

If you were on a cruise at a table with others and your children did the things you describe above, You would do exactly what?

 

Tolerate it? tell them now now don't do that? Pick them up and leave the dining room? something else?

 

Easy question. First, it would be nipped in the bud as soon as their little hineys left the seat. You can't wait until they're under the table to start to discipline them! I pull their earlobe an inch from my mouth & in my best "exorcist" voice I threaten them with a variety of punishments, depending on their age & level of misbehavior. Works like a charm. (And I have 2 rambunctious boys...)

[SailAways]

What shocks me on these boards is that these kids are so misbehaved toward OTHERS.

My kids misbehave. But when they misbehave, it is something like going under the table at dinner, or whining, or throwing themselves down on the floor and crying in frustration. Or repeatedly poking at each other.

But never have they (or any of their friends) done something TO someone. These kids on ships seem to be doing things (ice cubs and ketchup) to be mean to others. That's hostile. That's not just misbehaving because of boredom, frustration, being overwhelmed, or simply exuberant. Thats not normal kid behavior. That's just weird.

 

In reading this, I could see that the person who allows their child to toss ice cubes or ketchup might describe that behavior as "misbehaving" the same as you have described whining, getting under the table, or throwing themselves down on the floor (I call this a tantrum). Poking at each other usually turns into a fight.

 

I find all of these behavior patterns unacceptable - and to expect others in a public place to ignore tantrums any more than ignoring ice down the back is just being more accepting of your own childs manners than of other children. I believe we, as humans, all do this to some degree.

 

But, to expect others to be able to ignore any of these displays of "misbehaving" is IMHO expecting a lot. I would say that when a child is throwing a tantrum, they need to be removed from the restaurant immediately so that the other's who are there to have a nice relaxed time can do so.

[lagrutke]

Ventureman is exactly right. Having to miss some things to teach your children is what parenting is all about. That is the only way for them to know what is acceptable and what is not. I also get compliments on my children's behavior. There is nothing better! They are now 15 and 10.

[tammyp5]

Our cruise on the westerdam had quite a few children, I believe (the ship was full). Other than the typical small indiscretions that happen everywhere in life - children playing on stairs and blocking traffic (only saw this twice) and creating a jam in the narrow hallway (more than twice, but not too much of a problem), I was surprised they weren't more visible. Perhaps it was because we didn't frequent the pool. There were only two children on our excursions and both were extremely well behaved.

 

The first day, I was dismayed to almost be run over by a screaming group of three boys (8 - 12 yrs) in the hallway, followed shortly by a harried looking mother. I didn't see them again, so it must have just been the excitement of embarkation (the look on the mother's face told the whole story!). I was concerned when I saw a group of five children, ages 6 - 12, outside the casino (where I assume their parents were) screaming and playing tag at 1am in the morning. I have no clue as to what those parents were thinking.

 

That said, the rest of the cruise was quiet and I'd like to commend those parents who obviously played by the rules for the entire cruise. Once, we happened by the Lido for a cold drink around 5pm and there were many families with very young children having a quiet dinner. I thought to myself "so, here they are!". That explains why the Dining Room was nicely sedate every night. Thanks, parents - the rest of the PAX appreciate the consideration!

[chris2597]

I am willing to bet that the people that flamed in the other thread about kids on cruises misbahaving, have kids that act that way....

[CruisinFinsUp]

Unbelievable. My kids are 3 and almost 6. We cruised with the older one when she was 21 months old, and it was all about her BUT we still did a short island tour, and played in the pool, but we ate at the buffet when she was hungry, and we "napped" when she needed to nap, etc etc, and overall it was a GREAT trip, mainly because we spent it together. I think some parents forget that you can NEVER go on vacation from PARENTING unless you've left your kids at home with someone else.

 

We pick kid appropriate vacations and try not to put the kids into a situation that THEY cannot handle. After all, if the kids are not having fun, then the parents don't have fun either. However, both kids go to restaurants every week or two, they KNOW how to behave - they have been going since they were a week old. We have only ever had to get up and leave the restaurant twice (once for each kid) in almost 6 years - and both times was clearly our fault - we had taken an overtired overhungry child to a restaurant when they would have been better off napping first. Needless to say, we don't do that again!!! We regularly get comments from other diners about how well behaved our kids are in restaurants.

 

We are now ready, as a family, to go on another cruise. In April, one will be 6 and one will be 3.5 years old. We will be able to do some dinners in the dining room, but likely most will be in Horizon Court. Hopefully the food there is still as great as it was in 2001 on the Grand. We are not expecting to leave them in the daycamp every day all day, but there will be times when they do go, and those times hubby and I will enjoy our time alone. The rest of the time, we will enjoy as a family, and we will pick our activities and shore excursions according to the KIDS' tolerance levels etc etc etc.

 

There is absolutely no reason for children to behave rudely or disrespectfully in any situation. Having fun and playing are totally different than "misbehaving". My kids are learning the difference every single day. Its pretty funny some times - we go to the mall or a restaurant, and if another child is screaming or running around, OUR KIDS comment on that child's inappropriate behavior!!!!!!!

 

Sorry for the long post, but nothing annoys me more than other people's kids who give all kids a bad reputation!!!!!

[The4Cruisers]

I feel fortunate. My two kids (early and mid-teen) were first disappointed that the organized youth activities on our last cruise had little participation. So, they hung out with my DW and I.

 

They went to the shows, the meals, the pool, etc. like they were young adults. As long as we played some ping-pong, went for pizza and ice cream breaks, etc. with them, they were real happy being a family unit.

 

We also pair off into guys and girls for two staterooms. One evening, the kids agreed to hang out in the stateroom and watch the movies so DW and I could have a couple of hours at the lounge. That gave us a little down time without wondering where the kids were.

 

All four of us still talk about how fun the cruise was and can't wait to go again next month.

[zacksmom]

I am willing to bet that the people that flamed in the other thread about kids on cruises misbahaving, have kids that act that way....

 

I agree, but I don't see what basis they could use to flame... I mean, would their argument be that it's OK for children to act like hooligans?

 

Mild misbehavior is one thing (all kids misbehave from time to time), but sheesh - throwing ice at people? Sorry, I'm still shocked at that one from the beginning of the thread! :eek:

[SailAways]

I agree, but I don't see what basis they could use to flame... I mean, would their argument be that it's OK for children to act like hooligans? :

 

Exactly! They truly do feel they have "rights"!

 

People do get very sensitive where their own children are involved.

I am one who was royally flamed on another thread for stating almost exactly many of the thoughts which appear here.

 

I was called a snob, a bore, and worse. So, it truly does happen.

 

My feeling is that the responder who can turn to calling a poster names, is undoubtedly the exact one who is feeling that the finger is pointing at them, and they have no intention of changing either their own behavior or that of their children.

[RichardK]

My feeling is that the responder who can turn to calling a poster names, is undoubtedly the exact one who is feeling that the finger is pointing at them, and they have no intention of changing either their own behavior or that of their children.

 

Yea, I suppose that's true, but it's also the anonymity that these and other message boards offer -- people know that no one is going to come over and "punch them in the nose"……….

[MikeT718]

I have to agree with most of the OP on this thread it is the parents that are at fault here with the rude kids..I ahve only been a parent for 5 years and have been on 2 cruises with my Step DS (who is now 16) and if his mother or myself found him being rude or disrespectful he would be cooling his heals in our cabin..I know himit's not in his nature because of the way DW has raised him..Because of DS we have to cruise while school is out and our last on the Zaandam there were over 200 kids on board and we had no problems. I even got invloved with them on a scavanger hunt and that was fun:)

[hlfdzn]

I was not on a cruise when I witnessed this, but thinking about it grosses me out. I was at a 5 golden apple resort during a trip that I had won and I was enjoying myself ever so much. One evening, in one of the nicer restaraunts they had a chocolate fountain. I was excited to finally get to try something like this until I watched the 2 year old sticking his fingers in the chocolate and

licking them over and over....then I watched a boy about 13 taking a cookie, dipping it in the chocolate and then eating off of it and dipping it over and over with his nasty saliva on it. I never got to taste the chocolate from the fountain and what enraged me was that the parents were STANDING RIGHT THERE watching the kids do this. I wanted to tell the staff to pitch the chocolate since it had been contaminated. We wonder how sickness spreads so fast!!! I bit down on my tongue so I would not say anything rude to the parents and make a scene. I have taught my kids since they were old enough to dip that we do not double dip or use our hands!. I too am the recipient of compliments from people who would watch us come in a restaraunt and count heads as we were walking in. We have 6 kids including a set of twins and I am sure they all feared the worst when we walked in. I never had a problem with tantrums or throwing food. My husband used to kid that some day someone would buy us dinner. We were on a Disney cruise 2 years ago and all my kids had a blast. Most of the time they were in the kids clubs..yes even the teens and we had pagers that sent us a text message if the younger kids left and we met up with them.The only thing I can complain about as far as behavior went was that they didn't want to sit with us for a long dinner ( we made the mistake of picking late seating) since they were afraid of missing something in the clubs. I would duct tape them to me if I ever caught them misbehaving like that and they know it. Melissa