Is your complaint really that important now...

[Salty Dawg]

Take time to reflect on this which was originally posted on The C.C. RCI boards:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>sea_u_onboard
Cool Cruiser
posted 05-20-04 09:30 AM

Thanks for all the information.

I wanted to pass on one of my favorite pieces about raising a special child. It hits very close to home for me as I'm sure it does many others. If you have a special needs child or know someone who has a special needs child please pass it on. I actually "dressed it up in Power Point and framed it to give to my husband for father's day one year. Grab a tissue and read.

[B]Once a Mighty Ship[/B]
[I]by Rodney Rowen[/I]


Looking back at the birth of my son, I think that I envisioned a mighty sailing ship being launched into the sea of life. My son would proudly command this sleek, beautiful vessel, forged of my own hopes and dreams; deftly trimming the huge white sails that would catch the winds of opportunity. We would journey together for a time while I showed him places he could go and help him when the need arose. Eventually, I would leave the ship and let him sail alone.
Two years after my son was born, my wife and I noticed that he was not doing things that most kids his age were doing. The doctors started running tests, and he began physical, occupational and speech therapies. At first, I wanted to believe that they were all wrong since I could still see my son on his mighty ship. Later, I realized the doctors were right, and there was something wrong.
A storm of emotions raged within me, engulfing my son's ship. Rain pounded it from the terrible sadness I felt. Thunder clapped in anger about having an abnormal child. Fierce winds of grief drove my son's mighty ship, crushing it upon the rocks. Worst of all, I "lost" the son I both wanted and expected.
Over time, the storm lessened, and the clouds cleared. I saw the ship had survived, but now it had been transformed from a sleek, racing machine that easily sliced through the water to a barge laboriously slogging through tough currents. The once mighty sails had been replaced with small tattered ones, and the hull gaped with large holes. I marveled that the ship could even float.
My son still proudly stands at the helm, unaware anything is wrong. I wonder if he will ever understand that his ship doesn't look like the others. As I look at the ship now, I see many other people at work. Some are patching the massive holes which everyone knows can never be fully repaired. Other people are just painting small spots or offering encouragement whenever they can. Still others think all this work is excessive. We constantly battle government agencies, insurance companies, and schools to make sure our son gets what he needs and deserves. My wife and I find ourselves acting as supervisors trying to make sure everyone is doing what is best for him. People suggest we try "this" and "that," but there is only so much time and money. We constantly judge which things help, which do not, and if it is time to try another "something new." It is difficult, because everything seems to help a little, but nothing helps a lot. Hope comes and goes, as do feelings of guilt for not doing more.
I realize that my job as guide and teacher is going to be much more difficult. Over and over, I teach him to do things that other kids pick up naturally. I feel such despair when I see other children half his age doing things that I only hope he will do some day. But, there IS hope, since improvement does happen, however slowly. I still have the same pride that all parents feel when their child finally accomplishes a task which they haven't been able to do before.
Lately, I have begun to wonder what the future will hold for my son, and there are many questions. Will he live independently? Will he have a job? Will he have any friends? It becomes clear that I may never be able to let my son sail his ship alone. In horror, I realize I may even die before my son completes his journey, and then I start to worry about the special wills and trusts which need to be created. I am haunted wondering who will take care of my son when I am unable. I find it difficult to even ask others to do this job let alone imagining anyone accepting it. Sometimes it seems so overwhelming, all these extra things I need to do.
Then I look at my son, and I see a little boy who seems so happy and content. He does not understand that he is different, and for that I believe he is lucky. I think I am lucky, too, since he is teaching me some important lessons. I believe all children are born with a kind of innocence that is quickly shattered as they grow and learn about "life." The life my son faces becomes a kind of blessing, since he will radiate that child-like innocence for a much longer period of time. In many ways, I also believe he exemplifies how everyone in the world should act. When he is happy, he smiles or laughs; when he is sad, he cries. He does not understand the societal rules which mask so many of our thoughts and feelings, nor does he exhibit any trace of the greed, dishonesty, racism, or bitterness so prevalent in today's world.
My son also gives to the world without expecting anything in return. While walking with him in the shopping mall, I have watched him look at people, make eye contact, and cheerfully say "Hi." Invariably, the person smiles back, and he has, for the moment at least, given them a small gift of kindness. He has also helped me question what is important in life. Is it really important what school a person attends, what job they have or how much money they make? I am beginning to realize that the most important things in life have more to do with just enjoying life.
Having a child with special needs is a strange gift. It is not one I would ever wish on anyone, but would never give up having received it. Taken individually, the additional challenges seem small, but the collective whole seems immense at times. The storms of rage and emotion still blow through, but now I wait to see where we will end up, knowing that my son's ship will indeed survive, and that we will journey to some unanticipated but exciting ports.


This is what I found on the author when I first discovered this some years ago.
Rodney lives with his wife, Pat, 5 year old son, Geoff, and his 1 year old daughter, Katie, in Redmond, Washington. Both Geoff and Katie have chromosomal translocations. In his spare time, Rodney plays volleyball, basketball, and enjoys doing woodworking.

-- Cheryl <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[img]http://members.tripod.com/~kasiface/angel45.gif[/img]

[B]You are Blessed![/B]
[I]by Penny Parker[/I]

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive the week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people around the world.

If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, or torture of death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish some place, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority of us can, but most do not.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.

When you compare our day to day problems with bigger problems around the world our troubles may not seem so large.

Count your blessings!

[Sharkin]

Thanks for sharing this reminder to be grateful.

John H.

[selucrey]

Beautiful.

[img]http://www.animationlibrary.com/Animation11/Food_and_Drinks/BBQ_and_Picnics/Crawfish_cook.gif[/img] Let's see what we can stir up!
SINSATION 10/23/04 [img]http://www.geocities.com/giffsngiggles/firedevil.gif[/img]
CONQUEST 10/19/03
INSPIRATION 10/21/01

[northerner]

Thank you, I helps to be reminded of all we have to be grateful for.

[hstrybuf]

Very nice! Thank you!

[img]http://www.bensleyraceteam.com/Ani_Gif_Images/bookworm2.gif[/img]

Navigator OTS 10/04
Legend 04/04
Grand Princess 09/03
Dawn Princess 01/03
Enchantment OTS 10/02
Destiny 01/02
Sensation 08/99

[tef43]

[I]But for the Grace of God life is beautiful.

But for the Grace of God Providence has been kind to us.

But for the Grace of God our Destiny would not be in our own hands.

How thankful we can be for our fate our, our fortune, our luck.

But for the Grace of God our lives not be filled with love with beauty, with happiness and joy.

But for the Grace of God our lives would be filled with bloodshed, battle, clashing and strife.

How much more fortunate we are than others, for [B]There but for the Grace of God, Go I[/B][/I].

[imsulin]

I've worked with "special needs" children and adults for many years, including MH, MI, PD, DD, and LD. One of my very favorite clients is a 50-year old Down's Syndrome man, who is as loving and affectionate as we all hope our own family members and friends would ever be. He is eternally happy on days when I have fretted about the @#$^& cable company/IRS/car repair/weed infestation problems that we all encounter. An un-prompted daily hug from him always makes my day, and encourages me to be as happy as he is. It took many years for him to learn how to tie his shoes, eat his meals with utensils, learn to make his bed and fold his laundry, and write his name. He was always happy. It only takes me a few minutes to learn that my insurance has denied a $20.00 benefit, and it makes me NOT happy. He has never understood that he is different, because he didn't need to. We often feel such pity for those people who we assume to be miserable, because we also assume that their lives have little meaning, when comparing them to our own lives. Let me tell you that their lives are filled with meaning, and we often forget their "eternal happiness". Looking forward to my daily hug tomorrow!

[Salty Dawg]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Looking forward to my daily hug tomorrow! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...and you know that hug comes directly from the heart!

[Triguy]

Nancy, here is my hug.

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